To my Unnie ♡
well, i've been trying to write this for at least 3 days... i repeated all the words in my head but everytime i start to write all the words just slip away and i need to rethink everything again... i'm really sorry for this, for make you wait such a long time.
i remember exactly you were the first person i followed that was a naruto blog. i just had started in naruto fanfom here on tumblr and i still have in mind when i started following you... i remember our first ask and i remember how happy i was... for talking to someone who lived in another country, tho i had no idea where you were from. i asked you where were you from and you said 'konoha', i laughed that day... but i didn't know how much we'd go through... the destiny, if there's something we can call like this make us together with the worst way... but... we got keep moving on right?
the day we started to talk like... for real... make me totally happy, because at last once, someone bothered in asking me how my life was, no one ever did such a thing, no one wanted to know about my boring life, but you did... we talked a lot and we laughed and we started our big bond. when i didn't know what to do or to say you were there saying to keep moving on, and that sadness would fade away and i kept looking forward, believing in your words... that's what i do until now, believe in your words... maybe it's because you lived everything with me... you know my dark secrets because you were there... you know why i am like this, because you've got 10 minutes to read all my bulshits and i could never thank you enough for the 10 minutes you had for me everyday.
you are my friend, more than that, a sister, a twin. talking to you is like talking to myself because you don't only know how i feel, because you feel it too! i never shared secrets like i do with you, to be honest, i don't even need to say it's a secret, you already know everything without me saying a single word. that's why everyday i thank for having such an amazing and perfect person like you by my side.
i did a lot of wrong things and maybe i made you think things that weren't true but it wasn't because i wanted it... i have this habit to fuck up with everything without even noticing and i'm sorry, i'm really sorry! i admire, respect and have you as my role model. you're so strong, beautiful and people like you, believe it! you can actually make people think that the pain we feel will disappear at any time, yet you feel so sad and it's hard because i know when this happens and i'm sorry for not being able to take a bus, go to your house and hug you tightly, it makes me feel so sad and useless knowing i can't do this...
you understood me when no one else did, you were there by my side when everyone couldn't notice i was falling apart. do you know how much you mean to me? i'd die for you! it's like i know you since... ever. i don't remember my life without my precious unnie, without my haya, without that girl always being perfect and making me want to keep going on.
if i am strong, that's ALL because of you, because you give me strength to fight, you give me courage, you are probably the person that most inspired me in my whole life! i never had friends who would know everything about me, and would understand what i feel so easily. that's why i always kept everything to me, i don't open up to anyone because... i don't like someone feeling pity because i feel the way i do. but that's not like this with you, and i'm totally glad i have you by my side.
i wish i could do more for you... once you are the only one who keep me happy, if i am here that's all because of this girl, called haya, who became my best friend 2 years ago and i didn't even notice. you make my shitty life better <3
you are... you! a girl who smiles even being sad and who keep her head up even wanting to fall apart. even suffering, she was able to keep moving on. i can't understand why people could even make fun of her or make her suffer. but i guess when we have something too precious in front of our eyes, we don't realize how shiny the diamond is. but when you are far away and can see the sun illuminating that gem we can see how much they are wothy. i could never replace you, no one can ever take your place in my life okay?
nothing will ever make me hate you, nothing will ever make me want to give up on our friendship. we already fought a lot of times but... we always miss each other and how much we can understand each other right? you're beautiful, smart, kind, friendly, lovely... you're perfect in my eyes.
i love you, but maybe you don't understand, i love you to death, i love you with all my heart, i'd die for you and i'd kill anyone who could make you suffer, i'd give you my heart if you needed, anything to keep a smile on your face that i never saw in my life... anything for you! you're a miracle in my life as well, a beautiful miracle, an angel, someone who deserves all the happiness in this world, someone who should never know the bad side of this world. please keep being the girl you are, keep caring about me even when i don't deserve anything! i'm always caring and worrying about you. 'did she eat well?' 'did she got a lot of hours to sleep?' 'is she being happy in school and with her friends?' that's all i'm always caring, about my precious older sister. if they ask me who is my best friend, to them, in real life i have my answer "haya!" and someone once asked "but she lives so far away!' and everything i could think was "but she's so close to me like no one ever did". even if i tried to explain, how could they understand?
you'll grow up even more, become a fair lawyer, you have the power to change people, to make them believe there's a good side of life. you'll make the difference, i know that! you'll make your parents proud and proof everyone who doubt your skills that you are able to do anything you want to! i know you'll get it! i believe in you more than anyone in this world! you'll make me proud and i know that! you're the best for me i hope you can understand it <3
again... i love you more than anything in this world, never forget you always have a friend on me, even if we fight someday, if you say 'liz?' i'll be here smiling and ready to hug you and tell how much important you are! love you my haya <3
{Your happiness is my happiness, your sadness is my sadness}
you're not alone, together we stand, i'll be by your side you know i'll take your hand, when it gets cold and it feels like the end there's no place to go you know i won't give in! keep holding on, 'cause you know i'll make it throught, just stay strong, 'cause you know i'm here for you... so far away i wish you were here, before it's too late this could all disappear, before the doors close and it comes to an end, with you by my side i'll fight and defend... hear me when i say, when i say i believe...!
i'm sorry if i said anything wrong these days okay? i guess i hurted you again... i didn't want it... i was working on find a way to download the videos but i couldn't... i wish i could send this only when you are about to travel but... yeah.
no matter what we'll meet each other, even if it take months, years, i'll wait for my best friend, we'll meet each other no matter what, it's a promise of a lifetime and a promise of a lifetime can't be broken! once more i love you ;n;
