i’m a slave 4 u by pasdecoeur
rating Teen / wc 2113 / notes fluff, fake/pretend relationship, 5+1
“Calling me a bloody eunuch the last time wasn’t enough?!” Jaskier rants, trailing after Geralt into the cold night. “You had to— You had to—”
“I’m sorry,” Geralt sneers. “The next time you sleep with some idiot lord’s wife, I’ll just let him run you through with his sword, shall I?”
“You could have said anything!” Jaskier shrills at him. “Did you have to tell him that— That I was—”
“My Nilfgaardian love slave?” Geralt prompts helpfully.
And Jaskier watches, transfixed, as a slow dirty smile curls up the side of Geralt’s mouth. “What? You don’t think you’d like it?”
(or, five times geralt and jaskier had to pretend to be in, like, a violently sexual relationship, and one time... well.)