#tadcfictive

[fictionkinfessions]

To every TADC kin and fictive out there-

I’m giving you all a hug (if you want one) and making you all a warm beverage of your choice. That finale sure was… something. Hope you’re all doing okay. Stay safe and look after yourselves, lovely people ♡

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[fictionkinfessions]

i feel sick after watching the finale.

-jax [fictive, the amazing digital circus]

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[fictionkinfessions]

Yes I'm transfem (and genderfluid) but oh my GOD my name isn't Daisy! It's not a bad name but it sure as fuck isn't mine! I'm still Jax damn it! I chose my name! Just because I'm unrepressing myself now doesn't meant I want to change my name

That... that girly girl isn't me either. I literally don't change besides having a bow on my left ear. No eyelashes or dresses or flowers or anything. I don't like being super femme, even when my gender swings full fem. I like presenting more masc/neutral. It's... comfortable in a way being super feminine isn't for me. Maybe I just lean butch, maybe it's a hold over from being so repressed for so long. I don't know anymore. I just know that I still want to be seen presenting more masculinely than femininely regardless of my gender

My masculinity is still important to me. Just because I'm transfem doesn't negate that

-A Jax fictive (any pronouns but please don't exclusively she/her me if you [general] respond to me)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Hey, uh. To other Jax kins and fictives, whether you still go by that name or not. I know that the finale was… a lot. Fucking embarrassing, for one thing, but also just harrowing as all hell.

Just wanna say that we’re all here now, right? I know it sounds corny but we’ve got another shot. I… personally don’t wanna ruin this one, yknow.

So… Yeah, feel all those awful ways, and then, like… I dunno, find something that makes you happy and comfortable and latch onto it. I’m still looking for it, for sure, but it’s gotta be out there, right?

Yeah. This probably sounds stupid, but. Idk. Ragatha says I need to try being more sincere or whatever.

-Bella, formerly known as Jax. (Tag as fictive.)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Sent a message yesterday about trying to figure out a new name. Well, for right now at least, I’m going by Bella. I’ve always really liked that name. It feels right. Might not stick, but I’m hoping it does.

Anyways, I’ve kind of taken over a protector role in my system. Which is fucking crazy considering who I am in source — my whole thing is being mean and self-destructive — but brains are weird I guess. Maybe this is the world’s way of trying to get me to be responsible for once in my stupid life. Idk.

-Bella, formerly known as Jax, from The Amazing Digital Circus. (Tag as fictive.)

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[fictionkinfessions]

I don’t… HATE the popular fanon chosen name for me, but it doesn’t really feel like it fits. It’s a little too “out there”, I guess. Little too hippie. No offense to the versions of me who chose the name Daisy. But it’s not my name.

Which, well, means I’ve gotta come up with a new name for myself. ‘Cause I’m definitely not Jax. Still figuring that shit out. I had a few names I liked, but nothing’s really felt right so far.

There’s one that I think I’ll probably go with. It’s felt the most “me” out of all of them. But… I mean, I’m brand fucking new to this system and still figuring out who I even am in this new life. I’ve got Ragatha and Zooble here, in the same system, but, I mean, they’re probably just afraid I’m gonna be a loose canon. They’re right to be afraid of that, lmao. I’ve almost lost my shit on several people even in the few days since I’ve gotten here.

But… I dunno. I share a body with other people now. If I fuck up I’m not just ruining my own life anymore.

Whatever. This has been a ramble. I’m still trying to decide on a name. I’ll come back when I’ve picked one out for sure.

-The girl formerly known as Jax, from The Amazing Digital Circus. (Tag as fictive, thanks.)

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[fictionkinfessions]

(I don't think this counts as spoilers? I had my own theories for how the final EP of tadc would play out that I wont say)

OHHHH BOY! I don't know how I did it, but I was right AGAIN! First Cain's little "escape adventure" now the entire finale! It's like I'm a psychic or some crap! Holy shit I'm incredible

-Jax, TADC, fictive

(#🌌🦐)

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[fictionkinfessions]

I saw the finale.

Hah. I feel like shit about it in so many ways. I don't like that Pomni saw all that. Let alone every fucking person who sees the damn movie. That shit is so personal to me. Still is. Now everyone who wants to know about me fucking knows the most personal stuff there is to know!! I feel like I got flayed and put on display for the whole world.

Fuck I wish I could disappear.

I wonder how many people are out there laughing at me.

- Jax (TADC fictive)

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