[Ever since she was a little girl, on this particular day her body automatically woke up before the breaking of dawn. Call it the childhood excitement to see what Santa Claus had left her the night before or the thrill to see the look on her parents’ faces when they tore open their presents. Regardless, she would always be up, bright and early. To think that this year again, she would not be with her parents. Two years. The warm feeling that normally crept over her when she left the warmth of her covers, was nothing but a chilled touch.
At least this year she was not alone but it wasn’t the same. Nothing much was the same anymore. Constantly fighting in order for people to live normally. Normal had become an abstract concept now. She tries not to think about it so, as she tugs her hoodie over her head, tucking her hands under her long raven hair, pulling it over the hood. Her fingers find her burrowed phone, a freaking iPhone from Ash.
Still loathing on the limitation of her powers charging her own phone, she scrolls through calling the number listed as home. She pulls the phone to her ear, her means to pull herself closer to home. The Cohen-Chang rarely used the home phone due to having no caller ID on the phone. She chews on her inner cheek, praying that it would be her mother to answer the phone. Pacing around down the hall, in hopes for some privacy.
“Hello?” a tired voice croaked.
A sigh left her lips, “Merry Christmas, dad.”
“Merry Christmas, Tina,” her dad replies and there is a pause followed by a hopeful question, “Will...will we be seeing you later?”
“Does she even want to see me?” Tina replies with a question.
“Who is that?” her mother’s voice mutters in the background.
“Tina,” her dad replies before something comes inaudible his hands cover the phone.
They are talking loudly, discussing her. She feels like a child standing between arguing parents. Part of her wants to cut the phone and not think about it. Her fist balls to her side, her arms quacking a little.
“Tell mom, Merry Christmas too,” Tina raises her voice hoping to get her dad’s attention again. “Don’t worry I won’t be coming home, so she can spend it with you.” She hears a click, loudspeaker, her dad is putting her on loudspeaker. She bites down on her lip,”Just like last year. You know what mom, a year ago actually the past few years since I started college I would have wanted you to ignore me and for you not to worry anything about me. That is what I use to want. But not now, all I want is to know how you are mom.” She allows her tongue to slip free,”I know you are scared, I’m scared, really scared like all the time. That’s why I pushed you and dad away. But now, having the distance isn’t what we need right now. You were the one who taught me that. You stayed by my side through it all before and...we need to do that now. We’re...we’re family.”
A long pause is left on the end.
“Maybe...maybe we should all try again next year. Next year we can be together,” Tina scoffs hopefull. “Merry Christmas mom and dad.”]
WHO→ Tina Cohen-Chang with Parker Cohen-Chang and Leila Cohen-Chang.
WHERE→ Cohen-Chang Residence, Queens, New York
WHEN→ Wednesday 31st October 2018, Afternoon
WHAT→ Taking a visit home to see if things are okay since her mom won’t reply to her texts.
WARNING→ None.
Coming home was meant to get a whole lot easier- at least that would have been what Tina would have thought it it had not been for that night. Biting down hard on her lips with a shaken hand she lightly knocks on the door. Lowering her hand as she waits, Tina tugs on the hem of her dress, before straightening the pointed hat on her head. The costume begins to feel uncomfortable and itchy as her back is slowly drenched in a sticky sweat making the fabric cling onto her. Aether, this waiting begins to feel like an entirety. Is this what it was like waiting on someone else?
She shakes her head as too many thoughts were already being hostile in her mind. She had painted this moment over and over in her mind, each time getting worst that then the last. Only time would tell if her worst thoughts would become the reality that she faces with each moment that unveils itself. Tina shifts impatiently, her heartbeat slowing down at the shuffling footsteps on the other side as the door handle moves down, ready to be opened.
“Tr-trick or treat,” Tina stutters before her mother.
Her mother only looks at her with vacant eyes, the same way she had when she left NYADA, lost and confusion hanging over. Leila does not even mutter a word to her daughter, as turns with the door half open, Tina unsure if this were to be an invitation to enter or not so she remains outside. All she hears is an inaudible mutter from her mother before her father comes to the door.
Parker shuts the door behind him. Tina’s brave smile flattens wholly, evident of a rejection from her own mother. Parker presses a finger to his lips, hoping to hush Tina from commenting any further. He places an arm around his daughter’s shoulder steering her into the direction of the rooftop where they could get a little more privacy. Or a means to be away from her mother.
Reaching the rooftop, the cold chill of autumn blew against Tina, as she could feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes but she swats away with her hand. Parker shuts the door behind them, as he turns away from his daughter, resting his elbows against the edge of the building taking in the city view.
“She’s still not talking to me, then?” Tina whispers.
Parker shakes his head, “No, she is not. She isn’t even talking to me about it.”
“You…you don’t need to call it, it you know what you saw dad…” Tina keeps her voice low.
Parker chooses to say nothing, as he searches for the right words that he wants to say. The words that he wants to be right for his daughter. But exactly…what was right when learning something like this? Was there even the wrong thing to say about this? Did parents even get a guide? Where there things that he could google to make this easier? He didn’t know. Brief he turns away from the city, distancing himself from his own confusion as he looks at his daughter. His Teeny, who was not so tiny anymore. For once he looks past his own frustrations and anger to actually look at her standing there all by herself. When…when did she even grow like that? He pushes himself off the wall to stand next to his daughter, his grown-up little girl. Gently, he places a hand on her shoulder, “But I still don’t know exactly that it is, sweetie.”
“Dad, I can’t…”
“Talk about it, I know,” Parker says with a smile on his face, “But Tina, all I ever wanted to know was something…something that was true. I was starting to feel like I didn’t know a thing about you and you started keeping things from me and I was starting to feel like I didn’t even know my daughter anymore.”
“Dad, I’m sorry,” Tina starts to well up.
Wiping away her tears, he brings his head to hers, holding her tightly, “Tina, please don’t cry, not over this. Whatever, whatever you have been doing, by God is scared me but you saved me, sweetie. You actually saved me from…” a lump forms in his throat, “Whatever it was, don’t you dare be sorry about it. You saved me, sweetie.”
For a moment Parker Cohen-Chang and Tina Cohen-Chang took a moment to pause from the chaos that had unfolded, all the arguments that had been had felt like nothing. They both took the moment to just be present, holding each other tightly. A father and daughter hug that they had not scared since Tina’s early years and aether did they sob silently clinging onto one another tightly. Tina never expected for something that she couldn’t even talk about feel so secure as this. Her dad was here for her. And right now she could see it.
“Dad…” Tina untangles herself from the hug, “This was never the way I wanted you and mom to find out. What happened that night…”
Parker shakes his head, “I still feel it and think about it. Tina…what…what can you tell me exactly?”
“That…that I don’t know but soon…soon I should be able to tell you everything,” Tina licks her lips, “Mom too. How…how is she?”
“She is processing everything,” Parker tells her, “But I’m not sure exactly, but don’t doubt that she loves you. She’ll always love you.”
Tina feels her bottom lip tremble, “I don’t think she will. Maybe you won’t if you know everything that I have done.”
“Hey-hey!” Parker’s voice is stern and firm, “No more crying! You are here with us. We all made it that chaotic night.”
Tina opens her mouth only to shut it. Her father thinks that this was the only hardship to go through. She doesn’t say a word. There would be a time for him to know everything for real. At least the lie she has to hide isn’t something she had to hide from him too much anymore.
“Y-yeah, yeah okay,” Tina whips away the tears, “Okay no more. Dad…thank you.”
“For what? Being an awesome dad?” Parker makes a dad joke, making Tina roll her eyes. “Because I know I am an awesome dad, with an even more wonderful daughter. Say…what are you dressed up as?”
“A witch,” Tina whispers at him. This was the first time that she had said the words out loud to him. The moment where he truly knew, then that would be something that everyone needs to wait and see.
↳ INSTAGRAM: @cohentoplaywithmagic uploaded a new photo
If I am gonna post. I’m gonna post it right. Even though you have no clue I took the polaroid from you and mom, and never gonna see it posted on the aethernet, I had to share it for today we took a step again. I miss you dad. I love you. Happy Father’s Day
↳ 14 LIKES, 21 COMMENTS:
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@sneequeenwittch: ew. is ur dad like common or deprived from aethernet?
@curemcmcuery: common or new age???
You both know that tomorrow is my birthday and not just any other birthday, my twenty-first birthday. As you always keep on reminding me, I am not your little girl anymore, I'm not the Teeny that sits on the counter and tells you things like you want. You have this idea of who I am and what you /think/ I am doing, but Dad is right like he always is, you have no idea what I am doing, nor will you possibly ever know what I am doing. Like I said I'm not that little girl that tells you everything that you would like to hear, giving you all the details like I use too.
Honestly, there is a lot of "use toos" between the three of us. The family that we use to be...isn't the family that we are now. Can we even call ourselves a family when things are starting to fall the way that they are? They say that distance makes the heart grown founder and thought that would be something that applies to coming home, but again the place I /use/ to call home doesn't feel like home, now anymore anyway. Home is meant to be a place you go too, to feel safe no matter what is happening in the world. That isn't something that I get back in the apartment, maybe that is why coming to visit has been more and more difficult. That place is not somewhere I belong- not anymore.
I need my space. I need my distance. I don't want you coming to NYADA just as much as you don't want me to be here, you might that quite clear at New Years. Again, you aren't the ones who make the choices for me now. Now is about me and how I want to live my life.
I said it before and I mean it.I'm not your little girl anymore.
[Her phone lights up with 7 miss calls and 11 unread text messages and one voicemail. She doesn't read the messages knowing her parents now knew when she read them. She plays the voicemail outloud:]
DAD: I really hope the reason you have not been picking up or replying because you have been busy with your classes. Rehearsals for a play or maybe even vocal lessons, the thing is me and your mother don't even know sweetie. We don't know what you have been doing most the time and that scares us, it scares us a lot actually. I know it might not be 'cool' or 'sway' or whatever the kids are saying these days to be spending time with your parents, but we hardly see you, sweetie. All we want is to see you and know how you have been. We worry about you or maybe we are over worrying about nothing. Either way, we just want to see you, Tina. Please, just co-
[The voicemail cuts off. Tina cuts the phone, deleting the voicemail from her phone.]:
WHO→ Tina Cohen-Chang with Parker Cohen-Chang and Leila Cohen-Chang with mentions of Blaine Anderson.
WHERE→ Avicenna Hospital room.
WHEN→ Saturday 29th September, Aftermath.
WHAT→ In which it might be time for Tina’s parents to know something she has been hiding for too long
WARNING→ Hospitals, Death mention.
How foolish of her to think that she could spend hours of her day pretending happiness with her parents and friends was going to intertwine well. How foolish she thought that it would be so easy. How foolish she thought that this would all not come without a prince. Her foolish of her not to see that less than thirty seconds could taint that light and reveal that it was simply not true.
She had always been right about keeping this away from her parents, hiding it away lock and key. Tian could not allow her knowledge of magic too. distort the blissful ignorance she allowed her mother and father to dwell in every passing. Tina learned how to smile with lies in her teeth and regret in her heart. Oh, it could have been seen to be oh so brave and beautiful, despite agony that came with it, that kept her parents world beautiful.
But now, it was ugly. Tainted with blood. Polluted with lost. Dazed with confusion. The world which her parents had now stepped into was the silent hell their daughter had kept under un-replied texts and toneless ‘I’m fine.’ Parker Cohen-Chang and Leila Cohen-Chang had experienced their first taste of magic and aether was it is ugly.
Parker rests his weight on a young man who has his arm wrapped around him. Being pulled along by a stranger but his voice is stern towards his daughter. He knows for a moment that he can drift as the young gel-ed haired boy can take lead with his only child’s well-being at heart. There is a blaze of lights swirling and spinning. Parker shuts his eyes tight, a silent prayer on lips that this was not the light to lead him to the afterlife. Straggling behind, was Leila. Oh aether Leila, her eyes are wild and frantic both awestruck and fearful to where she is being led. Her delicate hands hold firm in her brave, beautiful daughter’s hand but aether is she shaking like a leaf.
They enter the portal. They all enter the portal.
Parker Cohen-Chang, Leila Cohen-Chang, Blaine Devon Anderon and Tina-Cohen-Chang. The Cohen-Chang family are together not in the way Tina ever invisioned. With every step they took was huge, bridging her Common life with her magical life. Every single bone in her body was refutting her from making a move but the screams, the heart reching screams compelled her to join the world together. Death was not an option when safety was a mere portal away. Tina would choose safety to protect the family.
Quickly on the other end, everything began to become a frantic blur. Greeted by medics who see only the wounded Parker, taking him from Blaine’s hold, whisking him away on a medical bed. To Leila, this places remaind familar, a hospital nonetheless. Her instincts kick in seeing her husband being pulled away.
“I need to be with my husband!” her voice croaks.
The medics nod quick, leading the way in. Tina is all too keen to follow feeling hand grab hers telling her she needs medical attention. Right now Tina could not give a care how she was. “No, I can’t leave them! I need to be with my mom and dad,” tears are starting to well up in her eyes. She had been holding it together for too long now. Tears are falling from her eyes. Barging past the medic to the room her dad been bought too. A utterance that their was not enough room, leaves Blaine away. Aether, Tina is so grateful for Blaine, so freaking lucky for Blaine but aether right now all her care and attention were on her parents. Everything else remained at the back of her mind.
She stands less than a foot away as the medics and nurses start to do what they need to do. Leila is there, clinging onto her husband’s hand. He is awake but his eyes are so weary. Leila holds onto his hands tight, as Tina just stands their, chocking on her own tears.
Everything seems normal, familair. When the magic circle appears and the glowing begins, that is when it all begins. The fear of magic. Leila’s hold on her husband’s hand gets limp as she screams louder than she should
Everything seems normal and familar. All until the magic circle appears, the soft healing light begin and that is all when it begins. The fear of magic.
Leila’s hold on her hand grows limp as she screams a blood curdling scream. “What are you doing to my husband? Stop doing that to my husband!”
“Mom!” Tina darts over, holding her tightly as Leila tries to fight it out. “Mom, mom please. They are helping him. P-please.”
Leila struggles against her daughter but Tina holds on tight. The amount Tina had endured up to this didn’t feel as painful as doing this. Leila shoves trying to break free, till her body falls lip, her head is crying into her daughter’s hair. Tina craddles her tightly, sobbing with her mother. In the living hell that this was, Tina could not help but selfishly be glad that she had her mother to hold her, well her holding her mother. But aether for the nights she had yearned for her mother’s embrace.
“I don’t understand what is going on,” Leila whispers, “Tina...where are we? What happened?”
The more questions that her mother asked, the heavier her heart became, one stone at a time falling deeper and deeper to a dark abyss in her stomach. Tina chews on the inside of her cheek hard tasting blood. For years now she had bitten her tongue from telling the truth, feeding them such gulliable lies. Now aether she wishes she could search for the perfect words to say. Tina only replies by sobbing harder, holding onto her mother tighter. What could she say? With all the maddness that happened was now...now couldn’t be the time she reveals her secret. Oh aether.
They cry in their tight hold that could lock out the world, until they hear a weak mumber.
“Don’t forget dear oh dad!” he laughs through the ache.
Leila untangles from her daughter to latch onto her husband, pressing saltstained kisses onto his lips. Holding him closely. The love of her life still alive, still breathing from an god knows what attack.
Tina’s lips quivers at the sight of her parents. Broken and emotiona scarred but aether at least their hearts were still beating. Her body tremmors in a mixture of happiness but everything is overshadowed by the thoughts but what they all had to come and how this night could have ended. She collapses to her knees, clinging to her father’s bedside.
“I’m s-s-s-orry, I am s-s-s-o so sorry,” Tina graps the bedsheets tightly to hold onto.
She feels her phone vibrating in her pocket. Briefly, everything that happens rolls back in her head the gunshots, her friends, where they okay? But aether she shuts her eyes tightly
Vibrating emits from her pocket. Everything plays in her mind, the gunshots, her friends, her illegal item she used but she sights her eyes tightly. All the consquences that were to come. Nothing else matters but her parents being safe at the moment. And it keeps vibrating and pinging but she ignores it, sobbing even more so.
“Don’t...don’t you apologies,” Parker’s voice wobbles, “Come here sweetie.”
Tina pulls herself up, collapsing to her father who pressed a kiss on her head, as her mother soothling combed her hair. For a moment she was just a little girl again, in the hold of her loving parents.
Why did it have to happen this way? But aether, there was a whole lot to face after this. So much more than she could ever wants to explain.
WHO→ Tina Cohen-Chang and Parker Cohen-Chang
WHERE→ Chelsea Piers, Ice Skating Rink, Queens
WHEN→ Saturday 17th June, Afternoon
WHAT→ Tina spends father’s day with her father.
WARNING→ None.
Tina drifts by as the tech witch glides across the ice. However, this time she was not left at peace with her thought as the gleeful cries of children filled the air. Tina pauses on her skates as she watches parents protectively direct their children around the ice. She watches one little girl who couldn’t be older than six or seven.
The little girl doesn’t want to come on to the ice, she is shaking like a leaf, her eyes are tightly shut and she clinging onto the sides for dear life. Part of Tina’s bleakness wants the girl to know that there are scarier things in the world than ice skating but this girl was lucky to have her innocence. Tina just watches as the little girl does not tend to ease up until a man presumed to be her father crouches down, whispering something and as he had his own kinda magic the little girl was stepping foot onto the ice, following her father close by.
A smile tugs at her lips. There was just something beautiful about watching those moments of innocence were trusted seems to come so easily. Shame that things were not like that now. And her smile vanishes that quick.
Closing her eyes, she long sighs creatine a cloud of mist before her. There was no point in hanging around any longer, the joy of skating had been drained from the families all caught up in their postcard moments, almost as if the world wanted to mock the choices that Tina wanted to make.
“Enough of this,” she mutters under her breath. Her ponytail swishing side to side as she skates to her nearest exit. Yet her body collides with another in a great big huff. Tina falls back on the ice, eyes falling on her. “Could have watched where you were going!” Tina was not going to take the blame for this one.
She could feel an eye roll as the person who knocked her over offers her a hand to stand. “Seems like NYADA is making a Drama Queen out of you, Teeny.” Tina takes it adjusting herself up, eyes widen at the familiar voice. Parker Cohen-Chang holds his daughter by the arm, a worried look on her face.
Tina scatches her arm away creating some distance between them. “Let’s skate.” Tina orders, her face becoming serious.
Like daughter, like father, Parker mimics her as they both casually glide around the ice. With the first lap, there is nothing but silence between the two. The second, there is an exchange of worried glances. Third, there were some attempts to make conversation but both seem to withhold.
On the fourth, Tina was the first to slice through the silence. “So you deiced to come.”
“So you decided to actually text your dad then?” Parker responds with a question.
Tina pivots on her blades, “No you don’t get to respond with a question. You don’t get to do that dad.”
“Don’t I?” Parker looks at his little girl, “You keep on changing Tina. Really changing like one month you are worried about us. Then the next you don’t want anything to do with us. For months on end, you have not been responding to us and the moment that we do the same to you, then we can’t do it?”
“You’re the ones who are meant to be adults!” Tina quips, “Both you and mom. I’m meant to be just the kid who is having a good time at college!”
“Are you having a good tie at college?” Parker asks her.
“Yes,” is all that Tina gives. “But we don’t have to talk about it.” Tina skates a little ahead not wanting to talk about college because she knew he would try to get the best out of her.
Parker cuts in front of her. “We don’t? Tina, you went all the way to Japan! Japan without even asking your mom and I!”
“Dad! I’m not your little girl. I am no longer your little girl,” Tina stands on the tips of her blades, “When are you going to accept that? I’m not this little girl anymore. All I wanted today was to have some time with my dad where we didn’t end up like this. Everytime that I come to see you there is always an argument like this!”
“Lower your voice, Tina. Please,” he whispers, as parents started to pull their children off the rink but the girl didn’t care.
“No dad because you never listen. You aren’t listening to me now!” Tina starts going off, “We are here right now. Everything has always been about you and mom!”
Parker clings her by the shoulders, “I’m here to listen to you now, Tina. Just please...let’s not talk about this here sweetie.” He motions to the sides, “Over here.” He takes her hand, leading them a more secluded section.
Walking off the ice, the two take a seat on the higher benches. Parker did, Tina remains pacing the benches.
“Tina...I’m listening.”
“Are you?” Tina scoffs.
“Yes.”
“Does mom even know you are here?”
Parker shakes, “No she thinks that I’m out watching the World Cup. I didn’t want to worry her if you decided not to show.”
“Can’t blame you for that. How is mom?” Tina’s voice softens.
“She misses you...and I do sweetie.”
Tina sighs turning away. “You always told me if you love someone, you set them free. Remember when I started asking about my biological parents?”
Parker’s heart drops, “Is this....is this what all of this has been about Tina?”
“What? No, no it is not about my biological parents. You’re my dad. Nothing in the world is going to change that,” Tina looks over her shoulder, “I mean the saying dad. When you love something you have to set it free. That’s what I’m trying to do with you and mom. Set you both free from worrying about me. You shouldn’t have to worry about me as much.”
“You don’t decide that for us,” Parker whispers, “You are always our little girl.”
“You really have to stop it with that little girl crap dad,” Tina takes a seat next to him, “I’m no longer that innocent little girl you keep thinking that I am. I’m not gonna tell you why, but I can let your wild Dad imagination take a guess why.” She coaxes him into thinking. What he must have been thinking was a scratch compared to the truth. “But...what I’m trying to say is just like I can’t decide for you, you shouldn’t be deciding for me. NYADA is my choice. It’s home.”
“Tina...we want your future to be bright.”
“My future or yours?” Tina tilts her head. “You and mom...do you know how much of my time I gave up making sure that the two of you were happy. Helping out in the shop as always. I was even gonna go and study history so I could take over the shop for you two. I wanted to make sure that you were both never tired. Or if something....if something ever happened to you, dad.” She licks her lips, “I wanted to make sure things were right for you two. But the moment I made a choice for myself...you keep on questioning it then let me be?”
Parker pauses, “We...I...Why have you never said anything about this?”
“Because I want to keep you happy. I like keeping other people happy, that I always forget myself,” Tina confesses, “That you knowing certain things is just gonna break your heart dad. If you knew something.”
Parker wrapped his arms around Tina, “There is nothing in this world that could ever make my heartbreak more than not having you around Tina. This distance it is scary. I don’t...I don’t want to lose my only daughter. Especially when...when it felt like it has.”
“Dad...you haven’t lost me. I just want to grow up and find out who I am. At NYADA,” she whispers in his shoulders. “Did you....did you watch the videos that I sent from Japan.”
“Seeing them was everything I needed,” Parker squeezes her in his hold, “But seeing you right now is everything I really wanted.”
“Don’t get use to it,” Tina tells him with a playful smile. “But did you see, I was ready to show you something. Something in my life because it was my choice too. We need to let that happen. I need to have my freedom.”
“Seems like you have taken it already,” Parker smiles at her. “I think we can take this one step at a time.”
