You decide to check on your lusus, just to make sure he’s still breathing. You’re never that lucky, so he probably still is. Then again you don’t really want to have to carry his giant body away, so maybe you hope he’s alive any way…
You peek in the hole his head usually comes out of. You can’t see his head in there, and you can’t tell whether or not he’s still breathing. With how often he’s usually asleep it probably wouldn’t even matter.
Sighing, you give up on him for the time being. You just won’t be able to leave your hive any time soon. With that in mind, you finally give up and go back to your block to see who there is to troll.
Unfortunately the psychic jackass trolled you again, and you can’t close the window before you see what he said this time. You guess you’ll have to talk to him…
So apparently your arm will be fixed soon but you still need to prepare to not be able to use it? You aren’t sure, but you set to work practicing flinging cards and throwing the boxes of them with your other hand. Man this is annoying, and will probably take a long time…
AM: I hope YOU’LL… listen TO me WHEN you… GET back…
AM: I do HAVE something… RATHER important TO tell YOU…
GM: i guess you fucKKing got me this time, whAAt do you wAAnt this time,
AM: WHAT do YOU mean… THIS time… I haven’t CONTACTED you… IN weeks…
GM: exAActly, you troll me wAAy too often, AAn you AAlwAAys ruin surprises when you do,
AM: I don’t SEE how… THAT’S too OFTEN…
AM: BUT i CAN try TO not… RUIN any SURPRISES… this TIME…
AM: BUT i DO need TO tell YOU… some THINGS that ARE… going TO be… VERY important…
GM: thAAt sounds AA lot liKKe ruining surprises to me,
GM: do not do thAAt,
AM: I will TELL you… WHAT you NEED to KNOW… but NOT what IS… going TO happen…
GM: why do i need to KKnow AAnything AAny wAAy,
GM: it AAlwAAys goes fine when i do not,
AM: YES i CAN tell… LIKE you NOT being ABLE… to FIGHT with YOUR arm DAMAGED…
GM: how did you KKnow AAbout thAAt,
AM: DO you REALLY… still NEED to ASK…
GM: oh of course it is becAAuse you AAre AA psychic JJAAcKKAAss i forgot,
GM: so AAre you going to tell me how to fight without my AArm or something,
GM: becAAuse i cAAn do thAAt on my fucKKing own,
AM: I’M sure YOU can… YOU just PROBABLY won’t… SO yes I am… YOUR lusus CAN’T protect YOU… forever YOU know…
GM: my lusus does not protect me AAt AAll you idiot,
AM: NEVER mind THEN… your ARM won’t EVEN… be A problem FOR that LONG… you SHOULD practice USING your OTHER arm FOR now THOUGH…
AM: AND throwing… WHOLE boxes OF cards… SEEMS to BE quite USEFUL…
GM: it will not be AA problem for long, thAAt is the KKind of thing you should not tell me!
AM: I only SAID it BECAUSE… you WON’T miss IT…
GM: whAAt does thAAt meAAn,
GM: no do not tell me, you will JJust ruin something else,
AM: FINE… will YOU at LEAST practice WITH… your OTHER arm FOR now?
GM: mAAybe,
GM: you should AAlreAAdy KKnow thAAt though right, psychic JJAAcKKAAss, gelecanMaestro [GM] gave up trolling amaranthineMania [AM]
If there's nothing else to do, might as well check out your loot room. Gear up in case something happens while you're handicapped by your injured arm?
You decide to go check out your loot room. You probably don’t have anything good in there, but you don’t remember the vast majority of it so there’s a good chance there’s at least something useful in there.
Once you get there however, it’s nothing more than the many many piles of crap you remember. You try to dig through them with just one arm, not wanting to reopen your wound, but it’s a lot more difficult than you thought.
You eventually manage to find a handful of useful stuff, a gun, a slingshot, and a few more filled card boxes. Unfortunately, you don’t have a strife speccibus for either of those, and the cards are even more useless than the ones you have now.
You also grab another bandage, expecting that you’ll need to replace the current one soon, and wander through your hive. You check on your lusus, who’s still thoroughly asleep and annoying.
Wonder why the psychic freak bothered trolling you if you were just going to ignore him anyway.
You briefly wonder why someone who’s psychic would troll you knowing full well that you’d just ignore him. He could have been trying to subtly push you towards a different path through annoying you and ever so slightly changing your mood, making you make a different choice somewhere. He might have had something important to say, but then he would have just had Vareti tell you… Maybe he was just trying to distract you so you’d sit at your computer a few minutes longer thinking about it?
No, he was probably just doing it to fuck with you. That’s kinda his thing. Well one of his things any way. Since he was clearly doing this just to piss you off, you calm yourself down with some relaxing breaths. Just as you get relaxed however, another trollian window from him pops up.
You quickly close the window with a sigh of frustration and get up from your computer so it doesn’t happen again. Turning your monitor off for good measure, you try to think of what else there is to do.
Having nothing better to do, you decide to go try and wake your lusus up. You’re almost certain it won’t work, but it’s worth a try you guess. Sorta.
You walk over to him and knock on his shell. As you expected, he doesn’t wake up. You knock louder, with no reaction still. You flick a couple cards at him, which bounce off his shell harmlessly.
You even go so far as to climb on top of him and jump up and down on his shell, but he still doesn’t wake up. Lazy bastard…
You decide to head back up to your block and see if anyone fun is on trollian. On the way there, you stop in your loot room. This is where you keep all the awesome loot you get from your many flarp games. Looking through one of the messy piles of loot, you find an actual bandage!
You remove the couch scraps from your arm, which probably weren’t the best thing to use now that you think about it, and replace it with an actual bandage.
When you get back to your room, no one is online except the psychic jackass and Vareti. You try trolling Vareti and she doesn’t answer, and there’s no way you’re talking to the psychic jackass right now.
So there’s basically no one online. Man this is boring…
Suddenly, the psychic jackass trolls you. You quickly close the window before even reading what it says. You really don’t want to deal with his shit right now.
You suddenly find yourself very thirsty. It’s probably all the blood loss. You head to your foodblock to see if you have anything to drink. Unfortunately, there’s nothing but faygo.
Why did you ever let Vareti give you all this crappy soda? Whatever, it’s all you have, so you decide to drink some. You’re able to get a bottle down, though you feel even thirstier than before, and you captchalogue two more for later.
Consider investing in doors that open in both directions
You realize that adding multi-directional doors would greatly simplify your job of dealing with your lusus. You realize this quite often, and are frequently angry at yourself for not realizing it when you were first building your hive.
Unfortunately, it’s too late to change it now. You’ll just have to deal with having doors that are easily blocked by your lusus. Well, now you suppose you’ll have to deal with having no door.
It’s a shame you don’t have any way of modifying your house any more, or getting someone else to do it for you. Man that’d be nice.
You finally wake up, sitting in front of your hive door. You are momentarily relieved that you didn’t die as you were unconscious there, but then realize that you’re probably still completely fucked.
You try the door again and… Yup, your lusus is definitely still sitting right on the other side of it… You slump down, checking the cut on your arm. It seems to have stopped bleeding… Mostly. It shouldn’t kill you, at least. But it still fucking hurts.
You should really bandage it or something, but you’re stuck out of your hive… You sit against the door and decide to wait for your lusus to wake up and get the fuck out of your way.
…
…
…
This is taking too fucking long! You’re pretty sure you’ve been sitting there with nothing to do for at least a few sweeps, so you get to your feet and try to think of something to do while you wait.
You decide to get something for your lusus to eat, in the hopes that it will coax him from his position blocking your door. You walk a short distance from your hive, much closer than you usually would, but you aren’t in the position to risk running into anything else with claws right now. Once you find a good enough spot, you fling a few cards and chop some of the giant leaves off a tree. They crash to the ground and you captchalogue them.
Returning to your hive, you try the door again. Still fucking blocked… You retrieve the leaves from your sylladex and wave them at the door, hoping that will actually do anything. It doesn’t.
You try to cram one of the leaves under the door, but it’s too big. Throwing away the leaves in anger, as if it was somehow their fault that your lusus is an obnoxious piece of shit, you decide that you’re going to get through this god damn door no matter what.
You attempt to retrieve a half empty deck from your sylladex, but you get two different ones. They shoot out, bouncing harmlessly off your door. You catch both of them before they can bounce past you. Briefly considering feeling badass about that, you realize that you’re far too pissed off.
You flip the tops to both boxes open, and fling all the cards at the door at once. They tear it to pieces, and it falls open. Your lusus is completely protected from them by his damn hard shell though. He really is just sleeping there, all tucked away into his shell and lazy as always. Fucking turtles man, you wish you had a better lusus…
You climb between him and the doorframe, just barely able to squeeze into your hive. Once you recover from rolling down your lusus’ shell, you realize that some part of this opened the cut on your arm again.
Looking for something to bandage yourself up with, you realize that your lusus took a few bites out of your couch. Fucking jackass. Whatever, you should be able to fix it. For now you just grab a piece of the fabric and wrap it around your arm, tying it with a smaller strip of couch.
You consider laying down on the couch as well, but considering you spent the last… You aren’t quite sure how long, but you spent a while unconcious outside you aren’t really tired.
You aren’t really that close to death, but your life starts flashing before your eyes any way. It mostly consists of boring shit. Taking care of your lusus, wandering through the forest like you are now, occasionally actual fun flarping with your friends, the usual. But for some reason the last thing you see before you die is your hive. Exactly as you left it the last time. You guess it must be some fantasy of being back home, still being able to be alive.
Wait, this isn’t a fantasy or your life flashing before your eyes, you’re actually back at your hive! This is great! Your run up to the door and go inside—-
Your lusus is blocking the door.
Your fucking lusus is blocking the fucking door.
You slump against the door, completely defeated, and promptly pass out.