Tanatophobia (fear of death) is my biggest fear. The fear to stop existing, to have all my dreams, thoughts, visions, friendships, connection turn into rot, then dust, to be confronted with an eternal black screen except I won't even have a mind to understand it's a black screen anymore.
Death is not a deliverance neither is it a relief because both feel nice only if you have something to be able to feel nice with. It's just death and the only saving grace is that we all are sentenced to it, without any exceptions.
That's why I was so enamored by this exchange in the Green Knight.
"Is there all there is?" asks the Sir Gawain whose life is about to end.
"What else ought there be?" asked the Green Knight.
I mean, yeah. We imagined that there would be or should be something. We hoped that there should be something. We created religion to persuade us there is something. We sentence the ones we birth to death in hope that their life will somehow alleviate our own sentence, prolong us, immortalize us.
But indeed, ought there be?
