This post is going to talk about death, cancer, loss of a family member, religion, and cults. If you are triggered by any of this please scroll past this.
This has taken a lot courage to say, but I was in a cult, and I’m not talking about the Church. I will admit that in this post I am going to go over the basics of what happened, please understand that things were much deeper, but right now, I can say, is not the time for it. I was once in a lokean cult. I unfortunately did not see the warning signs and had to go through a lot of healing before I could even think of beginning to post this.
About two years ago my grandmother was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer and she had only months to live. At the time I was posting comedy stuff online about being a lokean and working with Loki when an admin for a Discord server found my account and we started talking. He invited me to the server and for once I found myself in a group of people that made me felt heard and understood. Unfortunately he became ostracized and banned along with another admin, sadly I didn’t recognize that this would become a trend with the cult leaders. Eventually I became an admin and trust person in the server and cult. I was in a way the mother figure for a lot of the minors who were in this cult and server. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that, these people targeted minors, mainly neurodivergent minors who lived in hostile and abusive environments. The leaders began to limit what we could discuss and materials we used to read and research claiming that it was all too christianized and that it none of it would truly explore Loki and him as a deity. As all of this was happening my grandmother succumbed to her cancer and died. Like many I fled to my practice to grieve and mourn, this is when I was started being taken advantage of. There were mandatory meetings and when I spoke to make suggestions I was told that that wasn’t what Loki wanted. That Loki spoke through these leaders and that he was doing his will through their bodies. At this point I realized it was time to run, and so did a few of the minors in this group. Many of them reached out and unfortunately one was their next target. Their new target was not only the most kind and sweetest kid in the group, but also the most devoted. They began to out him and ostracize him. At that point I was demoted from admin and was also a suspect of going against Loki and his will. I quickly created a safe space for all of the kids and quickly told them to evacuate and that we were not gonna drink this koolaid. This all happened in the span of a year, and in that same year I had taken my godspousing oath to Loki. I was hurt and betrayed so easily and so were these kids. I worked to recover with my faith as I had tried in the past when I lost other family members and begged Loki for a sign. A very specific sign that I knew could be him, and it came the next day. I spent countless hours crying and in pain because of these people and I knew it wasn’t Loki’s will they were doing. I struggled for the last 8 months recovering, and learned a lot about cults, cult behavior and cult practices and have shared it in hopes that no one else gets tangled up in a cult. Especially like this one. Unfortunately anything can be twisted and bastardized into a cult and turned into something as volatile as this was. Please, if you suspect someone you love is in a cult and is in danger please give them a safe space and remember that this can happen to kids too. Don’t judge them and don’t criticize, provide them with love, support and a safe space to heal. Please don’t fall victim, and know that it’s okay to practice alone.