#task10

[softheartedpoet]

@dhritspoetry​ is one of my favorite AP poets—he provides me with stimulating and creative prompts whenever i ask and offers me feedback on most everything i write, even coming back to check on what he’s missed after each of his numerous hiatuses. each style he explores is refreshing and inspiring. he is admired by many and a great friend to me.

[garrickxvelour]

i had to jump on this task immediately. it provided so many great avenues for me to explore aspects of garrick's life and his world. while i do plan on finishing the playlists i have cooking in my spotify and adding a solo piece or two as well when they come to me, this is the perfect prompt to hit on a little bit of everything.

all answers along with some explanations are under the cut!

WHERE DO THEY FIT IN

financial / class status: wealthy | middle class | poor

grew up: wealthy | middle class | poor

health / wellness: fit/healthy | moderate | disabled | ill

education: below high school | high school | college | beyond

legalities: clean record | has a record | trouble / prison

town status: local | new in town | somewhere in between

lives: downtown | suburbs | coast | countryside

FAMILY LIFE

parents: alive | deceased | unknown

came to be: blood | adopted | other

siblings: multiple siblings | one sibling | only child

extended family: large (aunts, uncles, cousins) | small | none

children: none | has children | wants children

relationship status: single | complicated | taken

if taken: dating | relationship | engaged | married

if single: looking | not looking | whatever happens

pets: no pets | has pets | wants pets

PERSONALITY STUFF

extroverted | introverted | somewhere in between

organized | disorganized | somewhere in between

close minded | open minded | somewhere in between

calm | anxious | somewhere in between

easy to get along with | not so much | somewhere in between

cautious | reckless | somewhere in between

patient | impatient | somewhere in between

outspoken | reserved | somewhere in between

leader | follower | somewhere in between

empathetic | careless | somewhere in between

optimistic | pessimistic | somewhere in between

traditional | modern | somewhere in between

hard-working | lazy | somewhere in between

cultured | uncultured | somewhere in between

BELIEFS AND IDEALS

are they: religious | agnostic | atheist

do they believe in ghosts / spirits: yes | no | unsure

the afterlife: yes | no | unsure

reincarnation: yes | no | unsure

aliens: yes | no | unsure

astrology: yes | no | unsure

fate: yes | no | unsure

political alignment: conservative | liberal | independent | other

are they: pro-choice | anti-abortion | unsure

are they: pro-death penalty | anti-death penalty | unsure

are they: pro-euthanasia | anti-euthanasia | unsure

are they: pro-legalized drugs | anti-legalized drugs | unsure

SEX, ROMANCE & RELATIONSHIPS

whew, this is the most involved set of questions for him, surprisingly. one to indulge in casual sex and loose situationships and attachments, his issues with commitment were at their nastiest in his twenties—so scared of settling down, of being vulnerable, of starting a family. right now, he's still feeling out his sexuality. there's a part of him that knows he's queer. somewhere, carved into tiny holes and gaps in his chest; so tender that it aches so he's stuffed and shoved and buried it down for almost forty years. connecting with men in any sort of emotionally intimate way higher than a platonic level is new to him. not uninvited, though. he's yearned for it in someway, but kept blinders on to prevent him from touching that raw part of himself that would need to be looked at to access it. that being said, he's always been fascinated by the world of kink. he's dabbled with some with past partners, but none were the type to be too interested. none of them did research to help collaborate with him in the process. always the adventurous and open type, he just needs to find the right person to either help guide him or share his excitement to learn something new.

sexuality scale: allosexual | in between | asexual | other

romantic scale: allromantic | in between | aromantic | other

experience: virgin | very little | moderate | experienced

number of partners: 0 | 1-5 | 5-10 | 10-25 | 25+

number of relationships: 0 | 1-5 | 10-25 | 25+

preferred partners: men | women | any gender | other | none

relationships: monogamous | polyamorous | other | none

with others: relationship person | casual sex | other | none

in bed: traditional sex | adventurous | kinks/fetishes | other

ABILITIES AND SKILLS

given his childhood growing up on a farm, garrick has an affinity for all things involved in rural living. though he can technically fish, he doesn't enjoy it. detests hunting for sport. he's skilled enough at gardening, but lacks the passion or heart to call himself good. as far as his musical abilities go, he's played piano since he was seven and it's one of his favorite casual pastimes. he has a fairly decent voice and can carry a tune. that and writing is where his creative skills end. don't ask him to paint, though. he's terrible at anything artistic—painting, pottery, crochet, or woodworking.

cooking: good | in between | bad

cleaning: good | in between | bad

musical ability: good | in between | bad

artistic skills: good | in between | bad

driving: good | in between | bad

athleticism: good | in between | bad

swimming: good | in between | bad

horseback riding: good | in between | bad

fishing / hunting: good | in between | bad

gardening: good | in between | bad

communication: good | in between | bad

handiness: good | in between | bad

handwriting: good | in between | bad

technology: good | in between | bad

HABITS, GOOD & BAD

garrick's issues with alcohol kicked off in the wake of his college years. he called himself a social drinker and a casual partier while keeping up with his studies. but once he graduated with high marks, his drinking habits were the only things that continued to linger. no, he isn't drinking himself into a stupor every single night. no, he doesn't go on reckless benders where he binges and binges until he blacks out and slips into oblivion. however, he's one to consistently need a drink or two with dinner or to end his night. especially coupled with his smoking habits, he starts to get a little twitchy. despite the frayed threads that run as a constant undercurrent in his life, garrick keeps his alcoholism close to his chest. barred by guilt and shame. much like what was touched on previously for his sexual relationships, he found himself drowning in hedonistic pleasures between relationships. often riding off of the emotionally draining series of fiery fights, dizzying make ups, and explosive breakups. he was equally a perpetrator as he was a victim, and that much clouded his head. vices became his only footholds to cope.

alcohol: excess | frequently | average | infrequently | never

smoking: excess | frequently | average | infrequently | never

pot/weed: excess | frequently | average | infrequently | never

drugs: excess | frequently | average | infrequently | never

shopping: excess | frequently | average | infrequently | never

gambling: excess | frequently | average | infrequently | never

sex: excess | frequently | average | infrequently | never

[comefeelme-es]

Chip | 3 Years Old

Chip loves to go to the dog park and he has quite a few girlfriends when we go. In both forms of human and four legged friends. He is quite the ladies man. I’ve had him since he was 8 weeks old. He has been my saving grace of getting and staying sober in my time of need. I just look over at him and remember I need to stay sober for him to make sure he is at his healthiest at all times. 

[bsketcse]

Task 10:

Prom Moodboard.

[kennedyknightxox]

Journal entry 1

Ok, so….. I have not done thins in a long time so I thought I’d pick it back up again. I really can’t even remember where I put my last journal so I can’t really remember what was happening in my life. But, a lot of things are happening now so I feel like writing them down is a good idea. But then again, maybe some things shouldn’t be written down.

I live in New York now and I have to tell you, this city really does never sleep. I thought Australia was busy. Nope. NYC got Aussie beat. Some of the people here are really nice, other people are kinda rude. And recently I kinda get the feeling like I’m being watched. I’ve had this feeling before and it didn’t end well.

Ok…. So not going into that. Maybe another time. Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

Anyways… Adore Me Lingerie is doing absolutely amazing. I’ve got a few ladies that come in all the time and we’ve become super close. As much as I miss the OG shop in Aussie, this new shop is quickly proving that this location was the best place to put it.

I’ve made a few really good friends and reconnected with a friend from a family vacay. I know right? Puerto Rico meets Nee York. Lol unreal. The friends are amazing but I sometimes find myself wondering if I’ll meet THE ONE ❤️. I hope so, but I don’t want to rush it.

I want to find someone who loves me for me, not just what look like or something shallow. I want to find my soul mate. My protector. Is that so wrong?

Anyways.. enough sap. I’ve been thinking about getting a pet but I’m not really sure. I can’t decide what kind of pet to get. I’ll keep you posted on this thought process.

Alright. Time for a glass of wine, some weed and sleep. Early work day tomorrow.

Xoxox

[nicolamarchette]

Journal Entry

2 AM.

I should be asleep. If I’m really being honest I haven’t had a good nights sleep in a long time. Every time I close my eyes it’s the same scene over and over again. It’s times like this that I would probably call Gabe. I feel so broken, like I’m barely holding on. I don’t want to feel like this. I haven’t felt like myself in such a long time. I don’t want to have to write down how I’m feeling, or how much I just want it all to stop. All the pain, the anger that I lie about, the lies that I tell not only to myself but to those close to me. Running into a mutual friend didn’t really help. If I’m really honest I’ve thought about just running. It’s what I do….it’s what I’ve always done but then I look at Waverly and I….I can’t hurt her. It scares me knowing that her grandfather knows about her. I just want her to be safe.

I want her to have a better life. She will get to experience more than Sarah did. I miss her so much. I miss her laugh and her smile. I miss her voice and hearing her run down the hall and how she’d wake up her dad before she would me. I miss watching from the door as Ryan would read to her and she would hang on every single word. It wasn’t fair. Sarah should be here. She should have a life instead of being in the cemetery. It’s been a while since I’ve actually been there. I can’t bring myself to. As bad as it sounds it should have been me instead of her. Part of me still blames Ryan and maybe I always will. Everything changed the day Sarah was taken. I would do anything to just hear her voice or see her smile. Waverly will never know her sister and that cuts deep. I never wanted my girls to go through the things that I have…I wanted better. Sarah will never have that but I will do whatever I need to make sure that Waverly lives her life and that she is safe.

After losing Sarah the thought of being a mother scared the fuck out of me. But after I got pregnant with Waverly and heard her heartbeat for the first time it changed everything. All I wanted to do was keep the precious life that was inside of me safe. I should of raised her away from the chaos that has become my life but she loves it here. She has a best friend like I had. She has Gabe and Johnny who just love and adore her so much. In the back of my mind I do wonder if she’s really safe,if I can keep her safe. I worry if I will put someone’s life in danger. I just…..everything I do I do for Waverly. I never want her to feel like she is unloved or unwanted like I had to. I’m grateful that she doesn’t know Nansi who is a real piece of work.

I’ve been on edge since she walked into the gallery and demanded that I speak with her. Allowing her to be any part of my life is out of the question. She never wanted me and even though it hurts knowing that it’s better this way. I had a mom who loved me and shows me what real love is and I will be forever thankful. Dr. Vitale seems to think that writing down my thoughts and feelings will help. To some degree she’s right but sometimes it’s the opposite. Some are hard to write down and some I don’t want to. Writing them down means that what I’m feeling is real. All I want is to have my life back..to not worry about whether or not Waverly is safe. If I lose her then my whole world will crash down on my head. For now I should just stop and maybe try to sleep a little before it’s time to drop Waverly off to Gabe. She loves spending time with him and watching them together just makes everything that seems bad in the world melt away even if for a little while.

[kvb117-caroline2020]

[kvb117-caroline2020]

Black on Black Cryptids: final.