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The Saga of Fantasy Bernie Sanders: Part The First

Background: Mod Meme Damage came into the campaign with a 50-something human wizard character named Bernard. When asked for a last name, she wouldn’t provide, saying it’s a surprise--I (Mod Mom Friend) assumed it was just because she’d barely created him, and she didn’t have a last name yet. Which was chill, this was just a fun last oneshot before all the mods went to different states for college.

I was wrong.

Throughout the beginning of the campaign, Mod Meme Damage had done an old man voice and talked about the tyranny of the upper class. Now, this is a usual thing for Mod Meme Damage’s characters. So I put it out of mind and DM’ed. The characters, supposedly down on their luck, went into a building that I dubbed a fantasy thrift shop, wherein this exchange happened.

Mod Snooth Snalking Snatan: Can I just steal everything?

Mod Meme Damage: Greed’s just a path to the one percent. This is a small business, we should support them.

Mod Mom Friend: Wait just a second. Wait just a second. You made fucking fantasy Bernie Sanders..

Mod Meme Damage: YES! Look right here! His last name is Sanders! It’s on his character sheet! He was exiled from the faraway land of Vermont, a province in the realm of America, after he heroically campaigned for the rights of the middle class but lost tragically!

Everyone: Oh my god

Mod Mom Friend: Jesus Christ...