#tavran gregory

[agrazza]

tried a fun thing to practice portrait drawing. half-elf and Bhaalist are 'canon' of course. (and perhaps changeling too ;) ) These would be his post-tadpole looks, so most of them have the volo eye. some rambling under the cut.

Since TG is a Durge his personality would be mostly the same in each race. I kept his age the same across the board as well. There might be a few traits that differ- dwarf!TG likes shiny things and halfing!Tav has a temper (too many short/kid jokes) for example. If you've read my fic you know that I also headcanon that Bhaal made him to be generally appealing for the sake of luring people to their death, so he looks pretty 'normal' for Bhaalspawn. Except dragonborn of course. Bhaal wanted that form to be terrifying, and I tried to use some elements from the slayer form and changeling-inspired coloring. I guess that form is 'canon' too; Bhaal trapped TG in that shape for a while as punishment for something during his time as Chosen. Having blue eyes in every form was an act of rebellion on Bhaal!TG's part-- Bhaal wanted them to be red. Also TG would probably just have the same ragged crew cut (thanks Kressa) in every form, during the events of the game. But I didn't feel like drawing the same hair 10 times haha. If you're on the discord you can download this there for better quality on the details.

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fic updates

I already posted about this in the discord, but in case anyone follows me here instead-- I plan to start posting the rest of "On Surrender" on a once-weekly schedule, starting tomorrow. At the same time, i'm also going to start posting "On Recovery" (a short, mostly outsider-pov followup to "On Darkness") to look at the time skip between the last two chapters of OD, also once-weekly, at the end of the week. After that, I am tentatively planning a sequel to "On Darkness" because I am crazy. 😌 It will diverge very much from anything resembling game canon, but that's pretty much a given-- "On Darkness" did too, after all. As my outline stands, it will pick up shortly after the end of OD and follow Tav and Astarion into further high fantasy, Underdark Misadventures. I have some concerns about tackling another project that threatens to be as big as OD was, which is why I hope that starting to post on a schedule, with a backlog of chapters, will help me feel less manic about my silly little fanfic hobby lol. I'm also hoping that having a solid backlog will give me more time to work on edits for OD.

TLDR: New chapter drops monday. New fic drops friday!

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Tavran Gregory (bard) looks friendly until he doesn't.

stills of higher quality (hopefully) beneath the cut. (click the gif to see it play again I messed up the formatting lol)

one day i will learn to draw hair *sigh*

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ok i already shared this in the discord but i was pretty proud of how much i learned about shading fabric for this one. so here's post-game "retired" Tavran and Astarion when they arrive at the local ball and when they leave. Don't ask questions about why they disappeared for a while in-between. ;) rambling about details under the cut

This is in a redeemed!durge and spawn!Astarion timeline (if you've read my super indulgent fic "On Taxes" I'm imagining that universe. I wanted to put Astarion in a fancy fit that was an alternative to his Ascended self and the harsher colors of that association. For TG I pretty much just went fairy-tale prince vibes, because that's what Astarion wanted. Astarion likes dressing up, and likes dressing up his loved ones. He would never outright 'match' his partner, but he does like wearing complementary outfits. Tav just 'yes dears' all of Astarion's choices because Astarion knows the trick to getting him to agree-- making it comfortable and easy to move in. The detachable sleeves for when Tav gets too warm (or when someone wants to tear them off him ;) ) for example. Astarion loves putting Tav in blue. The jewelry is another one of Astarion's incredibly sentimental choices; he picked the sun motif for a reason, and had it made it in the form of a gem cord instead of a more traditional cravat because TG hates neckties. Astarion himself likes to wear gems that remind him of Tav's eyes, and he likes putting TG in just a hint of red as a playful hint of his connection to Astarion. They play a game during boring parties to see who can give the other one of their accessories without them noticing first. Tav's Volo eye had to be replaced after two decades with a regular glass eye, and sometimes he wears an eye patch because people find it unsettling. Astarion likes to see his whole face, so even though he had some made custom to match Tav's clothes, he likes to convince Tav to take them off (and tuck them away like little trophies when he manages it lol)

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Oops you left your Bhaalspawn alone in the Szarr Palace for too long. (CW blood)

(what the tadfools might have seen, if they'd showed up a little earlier in "On Sacrifice") I'm a better writer than artist but I thought a few of you who aren't in the discord might like to see TG, vampire.

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spot the difference

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using the same picrew as everyone else to depict my Menace(TM) and the vampire he torments loves.

source: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2578443

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can you describe what a jealous, pining, and in-love Astarion would be like if he and Tav for some reason hadn't yet gotten together by, say, act 3 and other companions were noticeably attempting to make moves on Tav, who is also in love with Asti but is (trying) to hide it? this could also be either before or after Caz :>

Ooh I have some ideas of *how* this could have happened, too, but I’ll stick to the bounds of your original ask below the cut haha.

It actually isn’t much of a stretch from TG canon that other companions were interested in TG. Without Astarion ‘in the way’ a few of them might have made a move. I could almost imagine several of them courting his attention for a little fun or stress relief; by Act 3, the party knows him well enough to think he isn’t relationship material (he made that clear early on, mostly because he was head over heels for Astarion and didn’t want to lead anyone else on, and now he’s stuck nursing what he thinks is unrequited love and with a reputation for preferring meaningless flings).

In the meantime, Astarion enjoys Tav's friendship immensely. At first, this seems like enough. They get along splendidly, and without the pressure for a physical relationship, he feels free and happy. Unfortunately, he also realizes that he genuinely enjoys Tav's company, and that the bard is, after all, very easy on the eyes, and oh no, what is this ache in his chest??? Naturally Astarion is irritated to realize that he’s fallen in love with the bard in spite of them deciding to be just friends, and has to watch TG respond to the others’ flirting— and maybe also occasionally watch him spend a night or two in someone else’s tent. TG is touch-starved, not handling the revelations of Act 3 very well, and a few companions might realize a little nighttime athletics ‘calms him down’, without passing the insight check (because TG makes it incredibly difficult) to see that TG is letting them use him out of a desire to be ‘good’ or ‘useful’ or to distract from the Urge. TG might turn especially to Halsin or Lae’zel, because they have a way of overwhelming him enough to make his thoughts quiet (he has a type lol) but definitely won’t be in love with him (he thinks).

Gale might also think he has another shot (as canonically he was, at one point, in love with him, even when Tav was clearly with Astarion). In this AU, he might start courting Tav in an attempt to win him over. TG probably wouldn’t notice it as romantic; he has no memory, nothing to compare it to, and no cultural knowledge of how courtship works.  Astarion, on the other hand, knows exactly what’s going on and fumes silently, but what right does he have to protest, when he and Tav so firmly decided they were just friends? Astarion's friendship with Gale definitely suffers, however.

It all comes to a head after Cazador. Freed from his own master, Astarion can finally see the cracks in Tav’s facade; he’s barely holding it together. In the canon run, Astarion was really a grounding foundation for Tav, someone he trusted with all his doubts and worries, and even when they weren’t having sex, he felt safe around Astarion, and could get the physical comfort he needed from more platonic intimacy with him, without feeling like he was taking advantage. Without that relationship, Tav would have spent Act 3 feeling much less secure, more prone to recklessness, and open to all kinds of unwise liaisons, including with NPCs, chasing that sense of security and trying to prove his own personhood to himself. (Astarion might spend a whole night pacing on the street outside of Sharess’ Caress, not willing to stop Tav from going, but definitely not willing to go far, in case he needed help, or got hurt. What if they don’t treat him right there? Someone should keep watch!)

Astarion gets snappish with the others-- especially anyone who's been flirty with TG-- which they assume is a result of him feeling unmoored after killing Caz and not ascending, but it’s really because he can’t stand the way they seem to take Tav’s attention for granted. Tav seems to be pulling away from him too, which makes him even more upset, but it’s because Tav is nursing his own ‘unrequited’ love and doesn’t want to slip up. (They killed Caz before Bhaal in this universe, because even though Astarion doesn't love him, Tav thinks, he wants to make sure Astarion is free, even if Tav dies in his fight with Orin.)

Then Tav dies in the Bhaal temple, and gets resurrected to Astarion’s teary expression, incredibly lame attempt at calling the whole event ‘twee’ even though he has tear-tracks down his face and was definitely clutching Tav’s body when he woke up, and then Astarion gives in and kisses him right there on the floor of the murder temple and declares that if Tav’s not going to take better care of himself, Astarion will do it for him, you horrible cretin!

(Tav’s free of his father *and* gets a new boyfriend, and he can’t stop smiling for a tenday.)