Essential Avengers: Avengers #357: The Night Visitors
December, 1992
NIGHT WARNINGS!
Visitors By Night, Giving Warnings! Black Knight holding lightsaber in a humorous pose. Uatu is here!
Uatu is here?
Dammit, Uatu! This better be some cosmic stakes if you're the night visitor giving night warnings! This better not be a Storm/T'Challa Wedding or Civil War situation where you just show up to hang out!
Last times in Avengers: a group called the Gatherers has been harassing the Avengers. Most recently, they broke into Avengers Mansion to snoop a peek at their personnel files to find out about T'Challa. The Gatherers had an alternate T'Challa and for their T'Challa to live, our T'Challa had to die. But the alternate T'Challa didn't want to live at the expense of another T'Challa and convinced Gatherer Swordsman to stop the Gather.
Anyway, long story short, the alternate T'Challa died and Swordsman failed to escape with the rest of the Gatherers so the Avengers just have him now.
What else... what else?
Oh, right. You know how Inhuman nanny Marilla and Jarvis have had a sitcom archnemesis relationship with each other? She swore she wouldn't interfere in his running of the mansion and then has constantly second-guessed how he does his job and never calls him the right name?
Well. She finally broke him.
She had the entire kitchen staff of the Inhuman Royal House secretly teleported in to make dinner because she thinks Jarvis' menu sucks.
And this has just broken Jarvis. This delightful butler man is catatonic. You destroyed his spirit, Marilla.
AND ON THE NIGHT THAT HERCULES' LOVE INTEREST IS COMING FOR A DINNER PARTY! HOW UNTIMELY!
(Poor Jarvis)
Crystal leads Jarvis away to distract him with the dinner party guests. While Jarvis mumbles to himself "what in heaven's name is a gnarled radish?"
Meanwhile, in the meeting room time area, the rest of the Avengers interrogate Swordsman.
They don't want to hurt the guy but they really, really want to know what the fuck the plot is.
The Swordsmen they knew is dead. There was a second T'Challa in Wakanda. The fuck is going on?
And they're not getting great answers out of Swordsman because he's got the mother and father and great aunt of all migraines. The Avengers have had doctors check him over but they can't figure out what's causing his pain.
And adding to the mysteries, Swordsman really, really fucking hates the Vision. He accuses him of leaving him to die.
Vision asserts that no such thing occurred as far as his experience but Swordsman does not believe his protestation.
Swordsman: "LIAR! You haven't changed, Vision! I never trusted that pasty-face of yours! Never!"
Which is rude. But it's also a thread that Black Knight starts pulling on.
Black Knight pulls up a hologram of Classic Vision. The good ol' green and yellow and also red. And Swordsman is like 'who the fuck is this?'
He doesn't recognize Classic Vision at all. He doesn't even take the logical leap of a guy that looks similar to a guy and going 'oh is this a palette swap?'
The Vision this Swordsman knew was always the Bleached Vision.
And since Black Knight is the biggest genius and the protagonist of this book, apparently, he's been noodling on the problem of why was there an identical tall woman to Magdalene who then vanished?
So he pulls up a hologram of Mantis. You know, good ol' Mantis? She and Swordsman were dating? But she always kind of wanted to jump Vision's bones but then Swordsman died but then he became a tree and Mantis married the tree and got tree powers because tree powers are sexually communicable? That Mantis?
Yeah, this Swordsman has no idea who this Vietnamese/German lady hologram is. Why are you showing him this Vietnamese/German lady with antenna?
So Black Knight plays a hunch, a long leap of a hunch, and pulls up a hologram of Moondragon. You know, Moondragon? Bald lady? Called herself Madame McEvil for a bit? Joined the Avengers but the Avengers always kind of didn't enjoy having her around because she spent most of her time trying to convince people to quit the team? And then she had some deep thoughts about Korvac and decided to take over a planet and psychically forced Thor to sleep with her and lobotomized Drax and that's why he's so dumb now? That Moondragon?
Yeah, Swordsman doesn't know a Moondragon but he sees bald lady in green and calls her Mantis.
Which is VERY interesting. In the context of Black Panther/Coal Tiger.
Moondragon and Mantis were both candidates to become the Celestial Madonna. They trained at the same space temple and learned the same martial arts and PSYCHIC skills. It's not too implausible that there could be a universe out there where Moondragon was Mantis instead. But it's certainly interesting.
And it suggests that Swordsman is originally from a universe that had various What If elements going on. Moondragon was Mantis. Swordsman and Hawkeye grew up together. Vision was always white and apparently a jerk.
Very interesting indeed.
Downtown in Soho, a lady who I think is Sersi just hooked up with 70s mustache ponytail guy and he's begging her to stay longer.
Maybe Sersi: "You flatter me, but we've been through this. This was a lark... a whim for the both of us. I thought you understood that. In any event, I have places to go -- yes, many places to go."
But the guy keeps begging and smooching her neck so she agrees to stay. But tells him not to say she didn't warn him.
Huuuh.
I thought Sersi was dating Black Knight. But also, I don't know for certain that this is Sersi. But she is wearing red and black. Which are Sersi's new colors.
Later, back at the Mansion, Hercules struggles to put on a bow tie because he is DRESSED TO THE NINES for Miss Taylor Madison. But first there's shop talk to talk.
Black Knight catches Hercules up on what they've discovered about the Swordsman they have in custody.
And the answer is that shtuff is weird.
All of his biometrics match the Swordsman that was in the Avengers. Fingerprints, DNA, retinal scan, etc.
Similarly, the bio-scans they managed to get of Coal Tiger all matched Black Panther.
Black Knight: "I think he is the Swordsman... but from another time, another place. Another reality, if you will. One that parallels ours, but doesn't quite match it."
I honestly don't remember if alternate realities are such a novel thing at this point in comics history.
Of course, you don't have big stuff like Spiderverse yet. There's no Ultimate Universe. But the Avengers have visited Justice-League-with-serial-numbers-filed-off Squadron Supreme world. They know about it to that extent. And the X-Men are always dealing with alternate realities were similar people. You'd think they'd have at least gossiped about it around the watercooler.
And Professor X and Cyclops were hanging out with the Avengers just seven issues back in 350.
Anyway. Black Knight is done talking shop because Taylor Madison has shown up, in her fancy dinner dress.
And Black Widow and Crystal have shown up in their own dresses. And Black Knight still has the major feels for Crystal and is speechless at how pretty she is.
Dane, you need to stop torturing yourself. Break up with Sersi and ask out Crystal or be content with Sersi and all the hot smoochings.
Also, just real quick. I like Hercules noting that him shaving off his beard has been controversial. Because he's right. It is. With me. Grow your facial hair back right now.
Black Knight better watch himself before he ends up in front of HR.
And I think they should have put a bow tie on Vision or something. It just feels off that everyone else dressed up and he's floating around in his usual outfit and not even wearing shoes. Someone dress this man up!
Over on Mount Olympus, Hera is watching Hercules and Taylor Madison in the Pool of Revelation. The scrying puddle. And being very invested in Hercules falling in love with Taylor.
If you recall, when Ares and Hera competed to ruin Hercules' life in issue #349, Ares possessed Thor and tried to force Hercules into killing his friend. Hera didn't seem to do anything but insinuated afteward that Hercules meeting Taylor was the set-up for her evil scheme.
Hera being super invested in how things are going isn't her being a shipper. She's up to something.
Zeus rolls on up to the Pool of Revelation to be grumpy that Olympians have been breaking his rule about not going to Earth. The punishment is going to be SO SEVERE when he discovers who did it.
Hera smoothly offers to head up the investigation.
Hera: "B-but, husband, all know, to their peril, that only thy son, Hercules, is exempt from thy interdict. If any god hath cruelly betrayed thee, allow me to seek him out and punish him accordingly. For in this, and all things, good and gentle thunderer... thou canst depend on thy loving wife."
And Zeus doesn't see Hera smirk because she's got her face all nestled up against his chest. What a smooth criminal she is.
Back over at the Mansion! The party is in progress! Hercules is hanging out with Taylor, talking about how Thor is off doing his own solo book stuff. Black Widow is spying on how her ship is doing. And also gossiping to Vision about how Sersi has been acting erratic lately.
Jarvis comes into the... uh... sitting room, wherever the hobnobbery is going on. And he starts to announce dinner but gets distracted by the Inhuman waiter. Who is a weird bird dragon thing carrying around a bottle of wine.
Jarvis: "*sigh* Ladies and gentlemen, dinner... and I use the term extremely loosely... is served."
Poor Jarvis.
Hercules escorts Taylor to the dinner table. Dane offers to escort Crystal, to make up for bad behavior. But then Sersi arrives, fashionably late, and draws Dane into more bad behavior.
She just smooches right on him.
He's really in this relationship whether he agrees to it or not =\
He half-heartedly tries to protest and explain himself to Crystal as Sersi drags him off. But at this point Crystal is like what the fuck ever. And when Vision offers to be her escort (to the dinner table) Crystal is happy to accept.
In the chaos of the kitchen, Jarvis finally has enough and decides to tell Marilla what is what!
Jarvis: "Madame, may I have a word?"
Marilla: "Ah, me! Would that I had the time, Jonas... but can't ye see I have a culinary masterpiece to supervise?"
Jarvis: "What I see, Marilla, is that you have usurped my position... commandeered my kitchen... and let this beast slobber all over my waxed floor!"
But sometimes when you're mad, you hurt people you don't mean to. Or dogs. Or delightful dogs named Lockjaw. Who is the aforementioned beast slobbering all over the waxed floor with a big bone.
Lockjaw growls and heads upstairs and Marilla scolds Jarvis for hurting Lockjaw's feelings.
Marilla follows after the giant pupper and tells "Jebediah" that he's in charge in the kitchen while she's gone.
Jarvis: "me? But, Marilla, I've no idea how to communicate with... them."
Inhuman kitchen team: =|
Jarvis: =T
I am living for getting more slice of life. Drama around the mansion. Who is dating who. Squabbling among the staff. A good Avengers run needs some downtime to just hang around.
And it's something that really feels like its lacking in recent runs. MacKay gave the team an entire sapient space city with beautiful vistas and then barely gave them any quiet time to exist in that setting. Aaron made the team live in a hollowed out dead giant alien. AND BARELY GAVE THEM ANY QUIET TIME TO EXIST IN THAT SETTING!
Anyway. Dinner party.
Hercules asks Taylor about her work at a children's hospital, which she says she chose because of PERSONAL REASONS. Sooooounds like backstory!
And Dane confronts Sersi about her behavior. Saying she is embarrassing him with all the smooches and also embarrassing Crystal.
Sersi: "Dane, I'm truly sorry. I know I seem the dilettante. The brusque, haughty snob. Believe me, it's a pretense. A protection for myself so I keep a distance from you mortals... Sometimes, I play the role too well. I'll apologize to Crystal. But I'm not pretending whe I say I like you, Dane. If I seem careless or flip about it, I'll stop because I do think you're wonderful."
Black Knight: "Sersi, this isn't like you. Is anything wrong?"
Sersi: "I bare my soul and people think trouble must be brewing. I do seem to have a communication problem, don't I? No, nothing's wrong... as long as I know you are my friend."
Pffft, Crystal's face!
Sersi and Dane keep doing their drama right in front of her. Without fail.
Black Widow gets an update on Swordsman's medical scan, showing he's resting comfortably. And then she gives a SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH! A toast speech.
Black Widow: "My fellow Avengers... and guest... I'd like to propose a toast. Some months ago, Captain America and I expressed concern over the future of the Avengers. The team had been drifting for far too long with no cohesiveness, no heart... no soul. To be an Avenger seemed to mean less day by day. But that was then... and things have changed. Tonight, I ask you to join me in celebrating a reversal of that sad trend. This line-up has been together six months and in that time we have forged a team worthy of the name --"
How meta. Black Widow is really talking about the difficulty in keeping a long-term writer on the book. Probably because editors kept annoying the writers into leaving. Or firing the writers.
Also, six months? Really? Wow, comic time sure is fake.
ANYWAY.
Marilla followed Lockjaw upstairs, assuming Lockjaw was hurt by Jarvis' thoughtless words.
WRONG.
Lockjaw is a true professional doggo, best friend. And he was really investigating an intruder!
Screener, one of Magneto's Acolytes broke into the Mansion (get better security, ffs!) to scan lil Luna's genetic and biological data.
She reports to Cortez "she is all too clearly human. A cleansing is definitely required."
It was brought up earlier... innnnn issue #350? That some of Magneto's Acolytes might be mad that Magneto's grand-daughter, daughter of a mutant and an Inhuman, is a perfectly normal unpowered human child. And I guess the Acolytes wanted to verify she was that before they start planning something unkind.
Since Marilla and Lockjaw spotted her, she MIND BLASTS them, which wipes their memories of the encounter. As far as Marilla knows, she came upstairs to find Luna peacefully snoozing.
Also, AT THE DINNER PARTY:
Uatu is a party crasher.
He showed up just to gesture dramatically and ominously and then vanish, leaving the word BEWARE in everyone's minds.
Since Uatu only looms ominously for the most dire of cosmic circumstances, this is an unwelcome appearance.
I do have to say I dig how he's shadowed with his eyes glowing. Really ups the ominous.
Also, he may have eyed Sersi a little harder than he eyed everyone else. It is unclear! But she's the one that has plot threads based on her maybe being a threat to the world!
And this better be of cosmic significance. I still can't believe that Uatu gave his stamp of approval to Civil War by putting in an appearance. The sell-out.
After Uatu peaces out, the Avengers fret about what this could all mean. But Sersi decides hey! Why worry! "Forewarned is forearmed! Let's not let that old fuddy-dud spoil tonight."
Oh and the last page has some cops investigating a corpse by the docks. Sixth victim in six months. And lucky number six? It's that guy from earlier that was spending time with Maybe Sersi.
Dun dun dun?
But we have to circle back to the Avengers West Coast and a trilogy of Ultron issues before we can get back to that. Then, dun dun dun.
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Are you still mad about your friendship with Smasher falling apart, Eric Thor? Look, some things just aren't meant to be. Stop taking it out on Hercules' weird chest harness. And give Crystal her leg back.
Last times on Avengers: Operation: Galactic Storm happened! And unlike for the Avengers West Coast, that kind of matters. Black Knight, and various other Avengers, decided to perform a citizens' execution on the Supreme Intelligence and Captain America was so disappointed in them that he's taking a break from Avengersing.
Before Operation: Galactic Storm the Avengers were attacked by Swordsman, seemingly back from the dead. And also his tall, buff girlfriend Magdalene. After Operation: Galactic Storm, Black Knight and Hercules thought they saw Magdalene in a bar but it turned out to be some random lady named Marissa Darrow. But then it turned out that she was a version of Magdalene and Magdalene exploded her.
At some point, this may make sense.
But for right now, Black Knight does cool twirly loops in a new skycar the Avengers got from Wakanda. Cool twirly loops in a vehicle that has no top and no seatbelts.
Avengers, you should be promoting safe driving. For shame.
Black Knight Dane is just blowing off steam because the investigation into Marissa Darrow after her apartment exploded turned up nothing.
But then the skycar starts crashing for real, which isn't as fun. I bet you wish the skycar had seatbelts now, huh?
Since the controls are locked up and not crashing isn't an option, Hercules points to a closed section of highway where they can crash without landing on anyone.
Crystal uses her AVATAR, MASTER OF ALL FOUR ELEMENTS, powers to summon a head wind to slow the crashing skycar down. And when they need a little extra slowing down, Hercules leans out one side and punches the ground so the friction will bring them to a stop.
And also give him some messed up hands but luckily gods heal fast. Not Wolverine fast but by morning he'll be fine.
Black Knight remarks how odd it is that the skycar malfunctioned when it was personally designed by Black Panther, T'Challa, and the guy doesn't make bad designs. Dane is suspecting SABOTAGE.
Meanwhile, on Olympus, Ares and Hera are hate-watching Hercules' life through a scrying pool.
Ares hates him because he's big mad that Zeus likes 'Herakles' better than him. Although he claims that it's really an insult to all the Olympians that a big, dumb half-mortal got invited to the cool kids' club!
And Hera hates Hercules because he's a walking, talking proof of Zeus' infidelity.
But maybe sitting and hate-watching Hercules' life feels a little too pathetic. Hera definitely calls out Ares for spending most of his time as a "bitter voyeur, brooding o'er his brother's Earthly exploits." So, yeah. Hera resolves that they should Do Something. A contest between mother and son. Who can make Hercules' life suck most.
Ares: "I accept. For in this wager, I shall surely win!"
Hera: "Do not be too sure, god of war... for Hera is the master of revenge."
It's rare for Avengers Hercules material to remember that Hera fuckin hates Hercules. I'm interested to see where this is going.
But one of the places its going is that these two didn't cause the skycar crash.
Two days later, at Avengers Mansion, Black Knight has finished taking the skycar apart. And Wakanda has finally gotten around to sending the maintenance report on the skycar from before it shipped.
Everything checked out before it was shipped. And when it arrived at Avengers Mansion, it was given a security check by the Avengers' security chief Michael O'Brien. Everything checked out on that check as well. Check. But Black Knight found two power couplings in the skycar that were tampered with.
So somehow, after the security check, someone sabotaged the vehicle. And Black Knight and Black Widow can't help but feel that this is related to the Swordsman guy that attacked them before Operation: Galactic Storm.
There's even a weird energy signature on the power couplings that Black Knight strongly suspects will match the weird energy signature from Marissa Darrow's apartment.
It's allllllll coming together. Into a weird, indistinct picture.
Hercules, Crystal, and Thor wander into the room, and Black Knight decides to keep what he's found so far a secret from Herc. Because the guy just gets so angry about Magdalene stuff and things.
Anyway, Herc has other stuff going on. He's going to visit a hospice for sickly children to grace them with his presence!
But, like, in a cool, endearing way where sure the guy thinks highly of himself but he has a big heart in the right place. The Papyrus Undertale variety.
Also, he's dragging along Crystal and Thor.
Crystal asks Black Knight if he wants to come. He's good with kids! Her kid, specifically. But Black Knight says that he has to keep working on the skycar. Secretly, he's just trying to get some space away from Crystal because he has the Feelings.
Then Crystal asks Vision but Vision also has stuff he needs to do and is aware that he terrifies young children.
I note that Crystal didn't ask Black Widow.
I know that she's on the team but it's funny how much she disappears when there's stuff to do. Like wholly disappearing during Operation: Galactic Storm. And now, she apparently disappears from this conversation so she won't have to interact with children.
I'm onto you, Black Widow.
ANYWAY
Hercules, Thor, and Crystal do go to volunteer at the children's hospice and the two guys are immensely popular with the childrens. And Crystal is also present.
Crystal is talking to another volunteer, Taylor Madison. Who comments that Bradley, one of the sick kids who never talks to anyone, is opening up to Thor.
Bradley comments on it being strange that Thor has a beard now because he never did before.
I hate to disagree with a sick child but Bradley apparently missed that entire time during Simonson's run where Thor had a beard to hide his badly scarred face.
Of course, he has a beard now because he's actually Eric Masterson, a mortal who Odin squished Thor into.
Hercules also says hi to Bradley and asks after his stuffed bear, Tipps. Yup, Bradley sure carries around ol' Tipps everywhere. A great comfort during the chemo. Because he is a very sick child. This is hospice.
Anyway. Ares and Hera arrive at the hospital, invisibly, to cause problems on purpose.
While both gods say they have a plan to fuck with 'Herakles', Hera seems to bide her time while Ares spots New Thor and realizes that as a mortal who has been granted the power of a god, he doesn't have the same defenses as one.
So Ares up and possesses New Thor.
Then while Hercules is kneeling down to talk to a little girl, AresThor walks right up behind him and nails him in the back of the head with Mjolnir.
Ouch.
I would argue that AresThor shouldn't be able to wield Mjolnir. But such things are inconsistent.
Crystal runs to help Hercules while telling Taylor to evacuate the children.
She didn't really see what started this so she runs up to Thor and asks him 'wtf, dude' instead of assuming he's a threat right off the bat and gets backhanded away.
Hercules gets up and also wants to know what the deal is and gets Mjolnired again.
Hercules: "Is it possible? Could the power of Thor hath proven too much for Eric Masterson's mind to bear?"
Herk. C'mon. Don't just shout out a guy's secret ID.
Hercules also checks on Crystal and thankfully finds that she's just stunned, not truly hurt.
But Hercules is still assuming that Thor has gone MAD "to so cruelly attack the most gentle of Avengers!"
I mean. Maybe in personality. But she IS the Avatar, master of all four elements. She can fuck a guy up if she's not instantly taken out of a fight with a cheap shot.
'Thor': "Perhaps I am insane, Herakles! If so -- how do you stop such a madman? How do you stop the power of Thor?! HOW?!?"
And then he throws a large chunk of building at Hercules.
It does actually make a lot of sense that Hercules jumps first to Thor having gone mad. Considering Hercules' own history. He knows this shit can happen. But he forgets for the moment that his own brush with madness didn't just happen. It was done to him by a god.
Inside the hospital, Taylor and Alice, a nurse, are evacuating the kids when Taylor notices that Bradley is missing. Another of the kids mentions that Bradley dropped Tipps, the stuffed bear, and ran back for him.
Taylor tells Alice to keep evacuating while she goes back for Bradley.
And while Taylor is running towards the exciting, dangerous superhero smackdown, invisible Hera watches with sadistic glee.
Hera: "Yea, mortal. Go thee back to the scene of battle, where age-old hatreds thou can'st not begin to comprehend hath come together to burst like violent flood. Enter the world of the gods, Taylor Madison, like the innocent thou art... and face thy destiny!"
Back at the fight, AresThor stands on a pile of rubble that's buried Hercules and he gloats.
Ares is not particularly good at keeping an impersonation going. He calls Hercules 'brother' and for that matter keeps calling him 'Herakles.' Also, he references Greek myth stuff. AND he talks in purple outlined speech bubbles but I don't know if Hercules is able to notice that.
He's certainly slow on the uptake with regard to Thor being possessed. He still thinks he's dealing with Eric and now plans to knock him out so he can get him to Dr Strange or Doc Sampson. Someone who can get the crazy out of him.
But Hercules is still fighting Thor as a friend, pulling his punches.
'Thor': "You are soft Herakles... it was always your undoing! Don't you realize, Herakles? To stop me, you must kill me!"
Hercules belatedly realizes that 'Thor' has been calling him Herakles, which is uncharacteristic.
Ares doesn't let up so Hercules can process this. He just keeps smacking him around with Mjolnir.
'Thor': "Before you asked my forgiveness -- know ye, I beg no such boon of you! Why don't you stop me, fool? You have the power! Would you truly die rather than kill me? You are pathetic!"
Bradley finds his bear Tibbs and unfortunately catches AresThor's eye.
The evil god inside the good god (like a godly turducken?) wonders aloud if this random child is the motivation he needs to push Hercules to stop pulling his punches.
Taylor finds Bradley and yells for 'Thor' to keep his hands off him but he asks how she intends to stop a god. And she doesn't have an answer for that. Just tries to hide Bradley behind herself.
'Thor' reveals his plan for making Hercules' life miserable. He's going to push Hercules to the point where the Prince of Power is forced to kill his friend and fellow Avenger Thor.
AresThor threatens to kill the two civilians unless Herakles stops him.
Hercules tackles Ares. Because now he knows he's Ares. Although, he claims that he suspected this whole time. Because only Ares calls him Herakles. And, also, only Ares is such a craven shit that he'd hide in Hercules' friend's body and threaten innocent mortals just to get to Hercules.
But Hercules has an idea of how to stop Ares without killing Thor. Because he knows a thing or two about Thors.
So after tackling AresThor, he grabs his beefy Thor arm and starts slamming the haft of Mjolnir against the ground.
Crystal recovers and runs over to help. So Hercules tells her to use her elemental powers to enhance the storm Mjolnir is going to summon.
Crystal has Doubts that Hercules can survive that but he tells her to do it anyway.
So she does and Hercules taps Mjolnir the final time.
This is a very Shazam way of problem solving.
I assumed that tapping the hammer was to force Eric back to his mortal form. But instead it summons a huge bolt of lightning - made even stronger by Crystal's power - which strikes Hercules and AresThor.
And the lightning, as Hercules suspected, blasts Ares out of Thor.
Hercules: "Thou may have been able to possess the body of Thor, brother, but I didst know the shock of lightning would free him. For only the chosen God of Thunder may wield the true power of the Uru hammer... such is the will of Odin, our father's ally. Thy arrogance is astounding, Ares... as always!"
Hera suddenly appears to bail Ares out of trouble. Giving him a backhanded compliment that he has "a mind within that body of brawn!"
Hercules yells at her for putting the lives of children at risk for her petty vendetta against him.
Hercules: "You doth not deserve the name Olympians!"
Hera shrugs that off. No harm, no foul, as far as she's concerned. No mortals were hurt. No lives were lost. This was just a spirited family disagreement.
Then she takes Ares and peaces out.
Thor: "Sheesh! And I thought I had family problems!"
Hercules: "Eric! My heart doth swell with joy to see thee returned! In truth, when I thought thee lost to us in madness, my soul was in darkest torment!"
Thor: "y'know, crys, you gotta love the big lug!"
Hercules is friend-shaped and probably gives great hugs.
Anyway. Back on Olympus, Ares bemoans that his plan failed. He really, really wanted to force Hercules to kill a friend.
BUT HEY AT LEAST HE TRIED! Where was Hera's revenge??
Hera: "Our plan was to bring pain and grief to Hercules, Ares... and in that, I acquitted myself quite well. The plans of Hera are delicate, subtle things, Ares. But in the end, I always win!"
And as she says that, she voyeurs on Taylor fawning all over Hercules for saving her and Bradley.
Yeah. Hera was playing matchmaker. To fuck with Hercules in some way?
I really hope she doesn't make him go crazy and kill her. For one, we need fewer fridges in comics. But for two, that's just derivative, Hera. You've done that one before.
So a fun Hercules focus issue. I kind of feel that this was another filler story because sorta milestone issue 350 is next and will deal with Operation: Galactic Storm fallout. So maybe this issue just exists to fill out an issue until we can get there. But on the other hand, Hera's plans for Hercules seem to be a later thing. And the thing with Swordsman and Magdalene also seems to be a later thing. So maybe this is just a slow-burn era of Avengers.
Next two weeks will be Avengers West Coast #85 and 86 to finish the Deathweb story. Then, oof, the Assault on Armor City annuals event.
All these big crossovers are going to kill me.
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So... Zeus knew Hera was gunning for Hercules... and that her weapon of choice was to go through loved ones... so Zeus just... created a construct for Hercules to fall in love with to lay a trap for Hera? Fuckin' Hell, bro... gotta give Odin a run for his money in the father of the year awards or something?
