D'ya ever listen to the TAZ:B finale and just... listen to these boys?
Taako's voice wavers as Lup says she knows he can transmute this whole circle of glass. He still says the right words but he's not sure and he's terrified of letting Lup down, of failing and dooming this world, of maybe starting again after he's had a whole decade to live for the first time in near a century. He's terrified enough he tells a teenaged stranger he sees in a mirror bc he's desperate enough to trust Istus' promise. He's terrified of failing but he tries and tries and tries because Lup believes in him and that's always been enough to get him to do anything. It's them against the world sometimes, Lup knows him at least as well as he knows himself and she knows he can do this. And he can't let her down.
Merle faces a man who he once thought a friend and left because he knew it was right. He stays, he talks to him, he empathizes with the man who has caused the end of so many worlds bc no one is beyond hope. Everyone has good in them somewhere. He has to believe that so he gives John this second chance, and once he does he gets Pan back- not as a reward for this action, but as a reward for who he is, who he's been, that Pan feels Merle deserves this personal apology. Merle loses a friend and regains his god, changing one ache in himself with another; the crush of his broken faith replaced by the ache of a lost friend.
Magnus has flashes of remembering his mentor, learning that strength is not only how hard he can throw a punch, but also in knowing when he's in over his head. He remembers that strength is trusting friends, asking for help. Remembers that strength is humble that he's not strong if he can't ask for help, if he can't trust that his friends can take care of themselves. Remembers that it's not protection if he throws his life away carelessly. Remembers he's only as strong as those he trusts to hold him up, so he needs to trust them to do so.
And John. John. Remembering what it was like to be a person, remembering a life he lived lifetimes ago, before it was too much, before he was too closed off, too angry, too spiteful. Before he reached out and just took everything in his reach because he can, because he wanted it, because nothing was enough. But he's here, playing chess with Merle, and he's remembering. But it's too late for him and he knows. He knows. But he needed this one last game, one last chance to see the last and maybe only friend he's ever had. And he almost wants Merle to kill him, to free him from the life he built himself bc it's not what he wants anymore, but he can't leave it or escape it. But he can taste it. One last time.
