Hello! Good afternoon or morning! My youngin self had been driving by the Tumblr posts when I stumbled upon your old (?) Story called The Sleepless Wake. It was amazing if I have to say so myself, but I saw that you've made a post disclaiming that you won't continue the series, and the reason was Fresh's characterization. I wanted to ask some help on that too, what did you find that made fresh ooc? Im also writting a story myself with Fresh as the main character, but I trusted myself that I knew enough or too much about him, but when I read your story and said 'Hey they write fresh the same way as I do!' and then reading your post about discounting the story? Yeah you can tell I was confuse but I was also very interested.
I also like to write characters who aren't mine as close as their canon characteristic. Sometimes adding a bit of my own headcanon in. So I'm just a writer, an author to a fanfic story asking another person who has written Fresh and realize their failures, what have you discovered?
Hi! Sure thing, I'll share my experience and understanding of the matter—just keep in mind that it's been over a year since I read through TBD and even longer since I've written Fresh at all. I'm still no expert on his character.
The core of what I bungled is, I'd say, Fresh's moral compass. He has a strong sense of right and wrong, what is "rad" and "unrad," and simply put, he wouldn't make many of the choices he does in TSW.
The situation in the story is a complicated one. Addiction and grief are complicated. People are complicated. There is an argument to be made that the upheaval Fresh goes through would deeply change him, change anyone, and also that the desperate need for sleep (and other effects of sleep deprivation) can make someone do stupid or reckless things. Not to mention he's a teenager in this story, so genius or not, he's still developing in many ways. Part of me still believes it's understandable, still clings to these justifications for writing him making such choices, and that part is correct to some degree. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. But when Fresh makes a mistake, he does his best never to make it again.
Guilt is Fresh's central emotion. I got that part down pretty well, but I didn't apply it widely enough, or in the right direction. That is, he would feel horribly guilty for straying from his code and try to set himself right, get back on the correct path, even if it means his own suffering. For instance, he would choose to face withdrawal symptoms rather than abuse medication. His guilt doesn't lead to more mistakes. It pushes him to be a better person. Put another way, if he started to slide down the slippery slope, he would catch himself and try to climb back to the top.
On a more personal note, I'm now trying to let go of the feeling that I have to write characters as close to canon as possible. Yes, I want to respect canon, particularly the parts that make me love a character or story to begin with, but it. Is. Impossible. To write someone else's character with perfect accuracy. Yes, you can analyze them and do your best. If you succeed, most people won't see a difference. But fan fiction isn't about replicating or mirroring canon. At least, that's not what I want my fanfic writing to be about.
I know I'm rambling, but I can see this a lot more clearly with my current WIP. There are a lot of things in its canon that I dislike, which isn't something I commonly can say about stories/series I consider myself a fan of. So with any and all of my fanfic of this series, I want to respect and incorporate the aspects that I do like or maybe am neutral about, and feel free to disregard the parts I don't like or don't want to include in my writing, even if that makes the characters OOC. It doesn't even necessarily mean that I dislike all those parts of canon, or that I would want the canon to change. I'm not writing to correct or improve (though it's fine to use fanfic to write how you want canon to be). I'm writing to explore and express my own ideas and feelings, which are too connected to an existing story for me to easily turn them into an original one.
Am I essentially writing canon-flavored OCs rather than the actual canon characters? To some extent, sure, maybe. Don't people read fanfic to see more of the characters they love, with the personalities they have in canon? Yeah, I'm sure most do. They don't have to like or agree with my interpretations or alternate versions of these characters. Others might! Since you can't please every reader anyway, you may as well write it the way you want, whatever way makes you happy and satisfies your creativity. Canon is a suggestion! Inspiration! A box of potential! Fanfic is your story, your take, your vision, so don't limit it any more or less than you personally want to.
With that tangential advice aside, I hope my limited insight into Fresh helps you. Good luck with your writing!
