The Place That I Belong | Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon)
Summary: You and Jiyong had a low-key very secret relationship during the Übermensch tour, when the tour ends you assume its over. When Ji looks cozy at an event with another woman, you ghost him. He doesn't understand where things went wrong and tries everything to get you back. Word count: 3.1k Warnings: 18+, MDNI., angst, miscommunication, unprotected sex, soft sex, fluff Author’s Note: this idea has been floating around for awhile and believe me when I say I had every intention of posting it in April. But life man, and bangchella, and life. So here it is! I have actively been working on this for two months and I really hope you enjoy it.
There were two things you knew to be true.
One, you were completely head over heels, madly in love with Kwon Jiyong.
Two, it was going to break your heart.
The first night it happened after a long weekend of opening shows in Seoul, adrenaline pumping. He’d looked at you during the after party and you knew. He’d felt it too. All those months of rehearsals and music video shoots. His head buried in your lap after his MNET Countdown performance to hide from the ending fairy. He’d wanted you just as badly as you wanted him.
You’d promised it didn’t mean anything, it was just a stress release after the long weekends of touring the world together. The way he looked at you though, every time you held his water cup up to him, the way he’d forget there was a camera watching him. You knew it was turning into more. Somewhere along the way those feelings of lust had shifted to love. The nights together shifted from just casual sex to exploring random cities and Seoul together.
You were currently in a hotel in Paris, wrapped in Jiyong’s arms as you watched the city light up below you. You were clad in only a hoodie, Jiyong only in a robe and you sighed as you snuggled in closer.
This was it, the end of the tour. At least for you, you knew Jiyong had a few encores planned but you’d be on your next adventure by then. As far as goodbyes went, Paris was perfect.
You didn’t say anything, not until morning when you kissed him goodbye before heading to the airport. Words weren’t needed. You both knew this had to end at some point, so why not know.
“I’ll see you soon.” Jiyong had promised and you nodded, wanting to believe it.
Life got busy after that. It always did when you joined another artist, touring the world all over again. You checked in on Jiyong sometimes, watching his encores, wishing you were still there. Wishing you still had him to come back to each night.
One night in early December you’d gotten word you were both in New York. You on tour, him with Chanel. He’d reached out, wanting to do dinner and your heart about leapt out of your chest. You’d agreed, a meeting spot scheduled for the night after the Chanel event, when you were both free.
You’d felt giddy for the first time in ages, your head in the clouds as you danced your heart out that night. Maybe this really could be something. Maybe after this job you could just be his dancer exclusively, if that’s what he wanted.
You let your mind wander with the possibilities of a future with Jiyong, a real one. One where you could say I love you freely without it feeling like it was going to crush you.
That day never came. The headlines hit you long before your dinner ever would.
G-Dragon and girlfriend hit the red carpet!
G-Dragon’s new girlfriend! 10 things to know about Model SooJoo.
The pictures all spoke for themselves and you closed the tabs as quickly as they’d appeared, telling yourself you weren’t going to cry. You’d broken rule number one: don’t fall in love with your situationship. That was on you. Three months since you’d left Paris and he was public with someone else, he hadn’t cared about you at all.
You didn’t go to dinner. You didn’t text him, instead you blocked him on instagram and your phone, and blocked any search for him from ever appearing on your phone again. The tour pictures hit your archive faster than your next breath. Kwon Jiyong no longer existed to you.
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Jiyong waited three hours at the restaurant. He told himself just about every cliche lie he could come up with.
New York traffic was a bitch.
Rehearsals ran late.
Your phone had died.
But then he texted you and watched the usual blue background change to green a “sent” underneath. He knew. He don’t know why, but he knew. He went to your instagram but it was gone.
That’s when he saw the headlines. Surely you hadn’t fallen for that. SooJoo was his friend, one of the best, someone he’s grown up with. You had to know that was all she was.
She’s just a friend, Jagiya.
Please. Hear me out.
I love you. I was just giving you space because I thought that’s what you wanted.
It was pointless, you’d never see the texts but that didn’t stop him from trying. It was morning when he finally dozed off, waking a few hours later from a knock at the door. He hoped. He knew he shouldn’t but he did. He sprinted to the door, a frown on his face as he came face to face with Jaeho.
“Hello to you too.” Jaeho smirked and Jiyong rolled his eyes.
“Sorry, I just thought you were Y/N.”
“Ah. Sorry to disappoint. It’s time to go. You ready?”
Jiyong nodded and grabbed his stuff, handing it over to Jaeho. There was nothing left for him in New York now anyway.
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The days back in Korea after that felt extremely slow. Almost as if time had stopped moving the second you cut ties with Jiyong. Having him blocked was a new kind of hell that you hadn’t expected. Every day was a constant worry that you’d run into him somewhere. You avoided every spot you ever went to with him late at night between tour spots, not wanting to run into him and SooJoo. For all you knew he took every girl to these places.
The tour you’d been on had finally ended which just made the days feel longer. You spent your free time trying to find other acts to get in on. What made it hard was the fact that you knew there were events coming up soon that you would’ve loved to have been a part of. Your feelings for Jiyong hadn’t gone away, no matter how much you wanted them to.
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Jiyong wasn’t fairing much better. He spent his time between working on the fan events and writing new BigBang songs. He’d text you because he was a masochist, just to watch the messages never be delivered. He tried his best to keep his energy up, he didn’t have time for another breakdown.
If he could though, he’d rot away in bed and wonder how he had managed to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him. Instead, he was pouring his every thought, feeling, and emotion into these fan meets. He loved his fans more than anything and they deserved every ounce of what he had left to give.
It was during rehearsal one day when he pulled Dony and Dukie aside, he knew you’d been close to both Kwon twins. They were the only ones that knew you had dated and split up. He had come up with an idea and hoped they could help execute it.
“Have you spoken to y/n?” The twins exchanged a look before Dony sighed.
“We had dinner last night.”
Jiyong’s face fell. You were here, in Korea. So close and yet so far away. He’d been avoiding all the late night noodle shops you’d gone to together the past year, afraid of what he’d do if he saw you. Cry, probably. Get on his knees and beg for you to take him back, definitely. But neither of those tactics would actually work and he knew that.
“Do you think you could get her to come to the fan meet?”
“I don’t know, she’s pretty busy. Just booked a new gig. I think she’s done working with us.” Dukie shrugged.
“Please? She thinks something that’s not true. I need to show her how much I miss her. How much she means to me.”
“We’ll try.” Dony gave Jiyong a sympathetic pat on the back before the twins walked off.
It wasn’t a yes, but it also wasn’t a no. Jiyong would take what he could get. He dismissed everyone for the night and got to work on rebuilding the show around you. He knew if the twins had their way they’d say there was some kind of dance emergency and needed you for the weekend.
He reworked the routines so that you could fit in. He just needed eyes on you to make sure you were ok. If you wanted to talk after, he had a lot to say. If you didn’t, then this was all for nothing and that would be okay too. As long as you were happy and healthy.
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You weren’t going. There was no way in hell you were letting Jiyong make a fool out of you again. You’d dismissed the twins texts, refusing to even acknowledge such a silly request. If they were going to lie, it would be best to include the person they were lying about. Eunki was fine, you were sitting across from her at dinner when the text came in.
She didn’t know about your relationship with Jiyong, not officially but she had her suspicions and had been asking pointed questions for the last hour.
“Did you know you sprained your ankle today?” Eunki looked up from her plate and snorted.
“What?”
You held your phone out to her and she laughed before picking her chopsticks back up.
“Why do they want you back so badly?”
“My guess is Jiyong asked.” Eunki raised a brow. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You should come though, if he’s asking. He must see something special with you. You are a very talented dancer.”
“No, thank you. I think I’m done with G-Dragon tours.”
“I know he’s strict, but just maybe consider it.”
“We dated.” You sighed, Eunki’s eyes going wide. “I know it was wrong and stupid, but I fell for him and he didn’t feel the same. Clearly.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s seeing someone else and I just can’t do that to myself, not again.”
“I don’t think-“ You held up your hand.
“Please, just drop it.”
Dinner ended soon after that and you found yourself alone again. Staring up at the ceiling and not sleeping had become a habit for you at this point. You’d never been this distraught over a man before. Leave it to Kwon Jiyong to completely ruin you. You weren’t going to the fan meet though, no matter what you’d be avoiding that area all weekend.
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Jiyong frowned when he realized you weren’t coming. The day's show was half over and he only had one more thing he could think to do. He made eye contact with Dony and he shrugged. And when he saw Eunki come up to him he frowned more.
“I found out last night and I know she’s not coming.” She whispered. Jiyong nodded.
“Thanks for trying.”
Everyone took to the stage and Jiyong tried to shake off the empty feeling that came with losing you, again. The intro for ‘Take Me’ started and Jiyong appeared center stage, the crowd cheering for him as if they hadn’t just seen him minutes before. He smiled, feeling the love surrounding him and decided to be brave.
“I’m still single, so take me because I’m yours.” He smirked before diving into the song.
The fans surely thought that was fan service for them, but it was meant for you. Soojoo was a friend, a long time friend and nothing more. The only person he would ever want was you, he was very sure of that. He just hoped someone would find a way to get that video to you because he knew his fans and he knew someone was recording it and it would be all over the internet soon enough.
The show came to an end and Jiyong sighed as he checked his phone. The video was already up, all over the internet. But there was nothing from you. Maybe he should cut his losses, he was already in pain anyway, he doubted it could get any worse now.
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It was midnight when the first text came in, Dony. Another fifteen minutes later, Dukie, and five after that for Eunki. You’d seen the video three times and still didn’t believe it was for you. It was fan service, it had to be. Dony texted again, a picture of Ji’s face and you knew.
Your hands shook as you unblocked his name, his Instagram, and finally his number. You didn’t have access to his private account anymore but that didn’t stop the messages from coming in. He’d reached out multiple times on both accounts, messaged you daily, including yesterday.
There were reports from Galaxy denying all dating rumors, texts from Jiyong came in one and at time and you put your phone down too overwhelmed by everything happening all at once.
You’d acted impulsively in New York, jumping to conclusions and had lost out on valuable time with the man you loved. You needed to fix this. You didn’t care that it was the middle of the night, if you didn’t go now you never would. You jumped out of bed, showered and changed, you weren’t going to grovel in your pajamas.
It was well after two when you arrived at his apartment, you still had a key card to the garage in your car and let yourself in. You hit the button for his floor, typed in the password and prayed it still worked. As the elevator took off you couldn’t help but think maybe he’d been waiting for you to come back this whole time. You knocked on the door and prayed he was still up.
When the door opened you were face to face with Jiyong. Your heart ached for him as you took in his appearance. Pajamas hung loosely on his body, hair a mess, eyes had lost their sparkle. He was holding a cigarette which meant he’d been about to head to his balcony when you’d knocked on the door.
“Hi.” Jiyong blinked and moved aside to let you.
“You’re probably wondering why I’m here at 2:30 in the morning.” You offered up a small smile and Jiyong scratched the back of his head. “I uh, I saw the clip.”
“Oh.” He nodded walking further into the house, you followed.
“Ji, I’m sorry. I thought when we left Paris you were done with me, and then I saw the article in New York and just thought dinner was a formality to tell me that you met someone.”
“Why would I do that to you?”
He leaned against the counter and your eyes widened. He was angry? Hurt, definitely. You imagined this going so differently.
“I told you I would call you and then we both got busy but that didn’t mean my feelings for you ever changed. SooJoo has been a friend of mine for a long time. But that’s all. You were who I wanted, I love you. And it hurts that you think I’d just throw you away like you were nothing.”
“I didn’t think you felt the same way I did. I thought this was just a fling and I got too attached. When I saw you two together at the show I panicked.” You looked up at him, tilted your head to the side. “You love me?”
“Yes.”
You crossed the room to stand directly in front of him before you leaned up, pressing your lips to his. He froze for all of one second before his arms wrapped around, bringing you in closer to deepen the kiss. You’d both missed out on months of being together over a silly misunderstanding, there was no way that was happening again.
You both made quick work of removing clothes as if you were starved for each other. Your lips never left his as he walked you backwards toward the bedroom. You’d been here so many times you could get there with your eyes closed. No amount of time away would make you forget.
Jiyong broke the kiss to push you back on the bed, you landed softly on the mattress and made yourself comfortable as he hovered over you, his eyes locked on yours.
“I love you. I love you so much. I missed you every fucking day.”
“I love you too.”
He grinned, the first real smile he’d had since you’d left all those months ago. His lip captured yours in a gentle kiss before he positioned himself and pushed himself inside of you. You moaned into his mouth, almost forgetting how good this felt. How it was like two pieces of a puzzle connecting.
Your hips met his every thrust as you wrapped your body around him, urging him to go deeper. He took his time, his cock hitting your sweet spot with every thrust. His fingers locked with yours, holding one of your hands above your head as he moved inside of you, slowly, deeply.
This was different from all the other times you had sex. Before it was always after shows, both of you high on adrenaline and now it was filled with so much love. You felt the love surrounding you so much you thought you could melt into him right now and be content forever.
You came together, bodies shaking and he held you close, staying inside of you until it got uncomfortable. You both groaned as he pulled out, he placed a kiss to the top of your forehead and you rolled into him, your head resting on his chest.
“Come to Coachella, be a dancer on the tour this year.” You looked up at him and laughed. “Please.” He whined.
“You won’t get tired of me? Seeing me all the time?” He pulled you closer.
“Never. And you can stay with me, not with the dancers.”
“Kwon Jiyong, are you wanting to go public with our relationship?” You teased.
“Yes. I want the staff, the crew, the dancers, the guys, I want them all to know how in love I am with you.” You leaned up and pecked his lips.
“I really am sorry for all of it.”
“I know. Me too. But it’s over now, we’re back together and I’m never let go again.”
You stayed like that all night, wrapped up together talking about what you’d both missed out on the last few months. He asked about the tour and you answered honestly. It was nice but it wasn’t the same as working with him. You knew come tomorrow you’d have a lot to answer for when you showed up at the fan meet but you’d cross that bridge when you got to it. At least you were together now and exactly where you belonged - in Jiyong’s arms.
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