If I leave here having learned nothing other than how to be generous, I will consider these two years incredibly well spent. Well, that's probably not the best way to put it - I know I'll learn any number of things, but I am most awed and inspired by the generosity of the people around me.
I go to visit the majorette, the woman in the Club de Meres with whom I've been making and selling tchakpa. (Her name is actually Vivian, but everyone calls her la majorette. I'll let you know when I figure out why.) She immediately pulls out a bench for me to sit on, brings me some tchakpa, and before I leave she has pressed upon me another bottle of tchakpa to drink later. (I did not drink it myself, but instead shared it with several of the women in my village). And this isn't just generosity to the new volunteer - I've seen her do the same to good friends at the market, her neighbors, to my homologue Georges.
This generosity is inspiring, but it also has its difficult side. The majorette gifts me tchakpa, tchakpa that I have the money to buy and that she could otherwise sell at the marche. While she sees it as thanking me for selling tchakpa with her the last two weeks, I worry that she is giving up money that I would rather she spent on herself. Why does the slightly tipsy man at the tchouk stand buy the next round for the guys on the bench next to him, spending money that could have bought fish for his kids' dinner?
When it comes down to it, it's all about the difficult calculation we all perform: Is this enough? Do I need more? Do I want more? What do I have to share, with whom? My calculation of need and want here mean that I have a lot of money to share with people who need it more than I do. And yet, I don't want to be the white foreigner who comes in and gives gifts. That undermines the sustainability of any work I try to do. So it's back to gifts I can grow and gifts I can make. After all, those are the best kind. The majorette decided she didn't need that 100 CFA and instead gifted me the tchakpa. The fact that after her calculation she chose to share with me means more to me than just the gift of tchakpa. Anyway, I made candied ginger yesterday (quite successfully!) and will be giving her a bag next time I see her.
