Starting over often means reclaiming certain things. Your peace, your joy, your identity. So many things. I was baptized 10 years ago this past August. It was not the day I was saved, but it was the day that I told the world to hold me accountable for the decision I had made to follow my Savior. I had put off being baptized for a few years, the reason is not relevant to this message, so I’ll leave it at that.
After my baptism, I had a strong desire to have the date tattooed on my wrist as a great conversation starter. I also LOVE tattoos and only had 1 at that time that was not visible to anyone unless we were swimming. I chose Roman numerals because they look intriguing and hoped it would get people to ask me what they stood for. I have had so many opportunities to share the gospel because of this simple and small tattoo on my wrist. Sometimes it’s a quick statement with not much response and other times it provided space for a little deeper conversation.
In this new season of my life I am enjoying taking time for myself, finding new joys, and digging deeper in my relationship with God which is where my true identity lies. I’m reading more, taking time to cook myself a lovely dinner to sit in front of the TV with, enjoying the sun on my face as I rest on my porch glider, having deep conversations with godly friends and writing out what I’m feeling so I can look back and see my healing.
My daughter wanted to get matching mommy/baby otter tattoos for her 20th birthday. Why the otters? Well, years ago we were snuggling and watching a movie and realized that we lay like mommy otters do when they float with their babies. Super sweet, right? Of course, being a tattoo lover, I was eager to say YES and add it to my collection (at this point I was up to 4 and this would make #5). When we went in for the consultation, I really thought my otters were supposed to go on my left forearm above my baptism date and so I asked the artist if he could put something vine like around them to separate the 2 but also bring them together so it did not look like 2 separate tattoos on the same arm. I told the artist that I was not picky on what type of vine or branch was there; flowers, olives, grapes... but I did like the idea of it being something fruit bearing. He suggested grapes which had me super excited. All I could think of was communion, wine, and how through the crushing of the grapes something new is brought out. And so, I let him run with it. I went in, he placed the stencils and began on the grapes first. I’m so glad he did and that we ran out of time to finish the otters and touch up the numbers because the beauty of the grapes took my breath away. Also, it gave me a chance to see the otter stencil with the grapes to quickly realize that they don’t belong there.
As I continued to look at my new creation, I was reminded of the word of the year from one of my favorite churches, #tcnation. I had forgotten as the year went on, despite continuing to follow their sermons online, that the word of the year was..... FRUIT. And that week, I watched their sermon called “Receipts” and was given a great reminder. “Receipts”? Receipts are a proof of purchase, right? So when you go to the grocery, you have proof that you paid for what you are leaving with. Jesus showed Thomas His receipt after He rose from the grave by placing Thomas’ finger inside the hole in His hand as proof for the price He paid for our sins and that it was truly Him. As Christ followers, what kind of “receipts” do you have to show that you are following Christ? Any one can say “Yes, I’m a Christian” and even the demons acknowledge who Christ is, but where is your proof that you are walking the walk and not just talking the talk? It’s in your FRUIT. Fruit that is meant to last, and to be shared; fruit that cannot grow unless it is watered/fed and cared for properly.
Two weeks after getting my grapes, I went on a cruise with my near 90 year old Nana. It was an amazing time of joy, peace, healing, restoration, rest and reflection for both of us. We are both going difficult times with her losing her second husband this past March and me being newly divorced. Hearing her laugh and watching her smile as we sang in the piano bar left me with a pure frozen joy stuck to my face for the entire week and it’s still there. While we were enjoying our last dinner on the ship, I encountered a group in the dining room and right after I said hello, one of the ladies in the group grabbed my arm and said, “Oh my gosh, what is your tattoo?”, referring to my grapes. I gave her a 10 second testimony about how I am navigating new territory in my life, that the numbers were the date I was baptized 10 years ago, and how I added the grapes because it reminds me to bear fruit and that in the crushing Jesus is bringing something new out of me. Her face had a look of shock and sudden seriousness to it and she said, “I cannot believe I just met you.” We did not have a chance to talk but she asked if we could connect because she felt God introduced us. I can’t wait to hear more from her and to find out why my 10 second testimony spoke so loud to her heart. To my new friend, Christy, I love you already and I truly believe you are one of the reasons I was on the ship.
I came home Sunday from the cruise and couldn’t wait until Thursday to get my numbers finished and have my otters placed. I told my daughter that my otters would be there for her birthday this coming Monday. I arrived at the studio and my artist showed me a picture of sandstone. He said he wanted to place it behind the grapes as my “firm foundation” and have the numbers etched in the stone. I wanted to cry! YES, Christ is my firm foundation, the Rock on which I stand. Word of advice, if you are a Christian getting tattoos, make sure your artist knows the Word and their work will BLOW YOUR MIND. He started with the otters and they are gorgeous with their beautiful pink flowers and cute little faces. I then watched as he sketched the outline of the sandstone with his purple Sharpie and even gave me a quick Nike swoosh just to see if I was paying attention (I was a little distracted on my phone), HA! To be honest, I was nervous at first with some of the dark colors going around the grapes but decided to relax and trust the process. As he added in the light colors of the stone I was in awe watching it come together. I didn’t think these grapes could be any more beautiful, but WOW, that stone behind them just makes them pop. He finished by outlining my numbers and adding tiny details that just make all the difference. I am in love! What started as a simple and discrete conversation starter 10 years ago has now turned into a bold declaration. Christ is my firm foundation, I am called to bear fruit and share it with others, and I will rejoice in the crushing knowing that through it I am made stronger.
I do have another tattoo project, one more thing to reclaim, that I’d like to take care of for my birthday. I had my very first tattoo, a tree frog that I shared with my best friend senior year of high school while on spring break, removed several years ago. I had it removed twice actually because the first removal did not remove it all. A few years after that, I had a poppy flower placed on top of it to cover the scaring that remained from the 2 surgeries as a result of the nurse dressing it incorrectly. Then several years later I allowed my good friend Jack to take a horrible cover up of a cover up of the cover up and make it beautiful by adding more poppies, leaves, and Philippians 1:3 in my mother’s handwriting. Poppies are a flower of remembrance and I just really felt it was fitting as a reminder of what was once there and the friendship of the one who I shared the original tattoo with. So, I shared pictures of my original tattoo, poppy #1, and what Jack created on my back with my artist last night and we discussed placing that froggy right back in the midst of the flowers. BAM! #reclaimedandrestored
I may be reclaiming a lot of things and likely have a lot more to go, but it is God that restores me and I am doing my best to enjoy every bit of the process; the pain and pleasure.