Anonymous help
(Travis "Teacake" Meacham x fem!reader)
Summary : Feeling lonely was not something you ever expected could happen to you, but then again, so did getting better. And really, what could go wrong if you just tried that anonymous self-help forum your therapist had recommended?
Warnings : MDNI!!, strangers to friends to lovers (?), slow burn, reader has battled anxiety but is doing better now, reader has a therapist and a cat, descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks, fluff, very conversation-based I think, smut ('cause it's me, ay), reader being pervy, phone sex, masturbation (both f! and m!), descriptions of oral and sex, cum-eating if you squint, reader has a healthy relationship with her dad, no use of y/n. I'm gonna stop there because I don't want to spoil it too much haha
A/N : Hoooooly shit, guys. This is a pretty substantial fic and I had a lot of fun writing it. I don't know if I managed to render Travis well, but I'm still quite proud of it. I only have a few exams left and then I can write more hopefully, so I'm EXCITED. Tell me what you think of this monster!
WC : 16k :O
♡ Masterlist ♡
************
The sound of your door shutting behind you resonated loudly throughout your apartment. Finally out of reach from the world outside, your shoulders let go of some tension that you had harbored all day as they immediately started to hang lower. You dropped your bag carelessly on the floor next to the pair of shoes you had just taken off, before sinking further into your space.
A ball of black and white fur quickly made its way through your legs, rubbing its coat against your calves and purring. At least someone’s happy to see me.
You bent over and picked him up, scrubbing his chin lovingly. “Hey, Sergio. Had a good day?”
Sergio meowled quietly, nuzzling into your hand, before you dropped him back on the ground. “Let’s get you fed, big boy.”
Your routine quickly kicked in, familiar and grounding – feed Sergio a can of soft cat food, feed yourself whatever’s left in the fridge, get undressed, take a shower, put on comfy clothes, make a cup of warm tea, and settle in front of your computer monitor for the rest of the night. Easy. No place for your mind to stray. In theory.
Except lately, your carefully curated regimen was beginning to feel like it wasn’t enough. Which was deeply annoying, because you were making really good progress – you had found healthy ways to manage your anxiety, had gotten yourself a steady job that paid decently well even though it was boring, and you had finally started feeling like you were slowly getting your spark back. But there was still something that kept bothering you, so you decided to bring it up at your next appointment with Mrs. Grant, the social worker you were seeing. Well, Jenna, actually, since she had insisted you call her by her first name.
“I don’t know, it’s odd… I’ve always been pretty introverted and comfortable being alone. But lately, I’m doing better and all, and… it’s like I want someone to notice it? I guess I’m just starting to feel kinda lonely instead of just alone.”
Jenna hummed and nodded her head, her expression open as understanding flashed across her features. “Sometimes, people change. It’s not because you’ve been one way all your life that you’ll stay like that for the rest of it. It’s fluid, right?”
You thought about her words, and it hit you that you had talked about this before with her, but with your anxiety. One of your concerns in the beginning was that you’d always feel stressed out, that you’d never change. But you had.
You nodded, looking at the plant next to your seat that always felt safer to stare at when you spoke. “Yeah… It’s just, I don’t really know how I would even start to make friends. S’kinda awkward at my age. And I think I still have a long way to go in terms of healing and bettering myself.”
Jenna tilted her head slightly. “Hm… I hear you when you say it can be daunting. Have you thought of ways you could meet people?”
You shook your head. “Not really. I work alone most of the time, so I don’t really have any cool coworkers. And I don’t really go out.”
Jenna hummed again and shifted in her seat. “Let me ask you this. Do you want me to listen right now, or do you want me to brainstorm ideas with you?”
You loved when she checked in like that. “I’d love ideas,” you said with a slight smile.
Jenna nodded and took the time to think, looking up before her gaze landed back on you. “Well, there might be a way to start without much pressure.”
You frowned slightly. “Yeah? How?”
She saw how the hour was almost up in her peripheral vision before she spoke again. “There are a few local forums with strict guidelines that are basically support groups for people dealing with things like you do : anxiety, ADHD, self-bettering endeavours, you name it. Maybe it could be a way for you to talk to new people without much stake, and to share experiences.”
Your face relaxed, but you still looked skeptical. An online forum? Really? In this day and age? Still, you didn’t shut down her idea and you nodded faintly. “Yeah, I guess I could try.”
She scribbled the name of a forum on a piece of paper. “We’re gonna have to stop here for today, but here is one that I know of. I’m sure there are more but just make sure there are rules and stuff if you find some. It’s still the internet.”
The corners of your mouth lifted in amusement as you took the note from her. “Will do. Thank you, Jenna.”
She smiled at you as she got up. “Same time next week?”
“I’ll be there.”
****
The idea swam in your mind for a few days. A forum. It felt odd to picture yourself talking to an anonymous person while revealing the most intimate parts of yourself – your self-doubt, anxiety, loneliness... But at the same time, you couldn’t deny that it intrigued you. Maybe you could treat it as a practice run for the real deal. Maybe, in the future, when you meet someone cool at a pottery class or something, you’d look back on your forum chatting days and be glad that you took the leap.
It was that feeling that inhabited your ribcage as you finally got home. Your day at work had been gruelling, more demanding than usual.
Pick up Sergio, give him a few scratches, feed him, sort of feed yourself, shower, computer.
You looked around your purse and pulled out the slightly crumpled piece of paper that Jenna had given you. Your very own middle-of-nowhere-town’s self-help and mental health support forum.
You stared at the note, chewing on your bottom lip. “Let’s just check it out,” you mumbled under your breath before typing the name of the forum in the search bar of your favorite browser.
Not shockingly, it was the first result on the list.
You clicked on the blue link, before being greeted by a retro looking page detailing the rules and guidelines for using the forum.
Welcome! This forum is meant to be a space where residents of our community can anonymously talk to each other and offer support, advice and share experiences. Any use of this forum for differing purposes is prohibited and could result in a permanent ban. Here are the rules to follow :
Users must be at least 18 years of age.
Respect is of utmost importance. Any disrespectful interaction will get the user suspended.
This is an anonymous forum, meaning that any reveal in identity is prohibited to ensure the safety of all users.
If you witness any worrying behavior, please flag it to the site’s moderator in our contact info.
Thank you and start chatting!
God, even the welcoming message is kind of dorky. You clicked the ‘start chatting’ button and it took you to a page with three empty bars – username, password, and password confirmation.
You sighed and looked around your room for inspiration. You couldn’t put your name, because it had to be anonymous. You eyed the glittery stickers on your speaker until you felt Sergio’s tail brush the back of your knee. You looked between your legs with a smile.
Username : Sergio’s_Servant
You erased it immediately after seeing how insane it looked written down, cringing at yourself. “Oh my god, way too BDSM-y.”
Your gaze then bounced between the three different cups of water, coffee and juice on your desk. You tried again.
Username : HydratedCatMom
You snorted. “Sure, whatever,” you said as you created your password, not certain you could come up with anything better if you were to think about it longer.
As you entered the forum, the simplicity of it hit you first. There was a general chat that looked like it had been dead for ages – the last message on it went back to two years ago. The aesthetic of the whole site was overall gray with a bit of blue, very early Microsoft core. “Amazing,” you said sarcastically, already feeling like this was a complete waste of time.
You noticed a few more specialized or ‘problem specific’ chats in a menu to the left. You clicked on the one titled ‘Self-Help’.
Your eyebrows pulled together softly. You found a chat with a few three-year-old messages between two users named HarleyD123 and Smile2000. It seemed like a normal conversation – people talking about their problems and tricks they had found helped them. What really surprised you, though, was the last message of the chat – a five-days-old one.
HalfBaked_T : Hi! Anyone still using this chat?
The username made a small smile pull at your lips. You tilted your head, staring at the question like it was a puzzle you were unsure how to solve. On one hand, you could simply leave the site and ignore it. No one would know, you would find other ways to talk to people, no big deal. On the other hand, you could finally get out of your comfort zone and greet the person back. You would probably never even get a response, since it had already been five days since they’d written that, and you could at least say you had tried.
You started typing.
HydratedCatMom : Hey! I don’t know if you’ll see this but I’m here! :)
Before you could second guess yourself, you pressed ‘send’ and laid back in your chair, immediately grabbing your reusable water bottle to busy your hands. Simultaneously, Sergio meowled from his place on your bed, almost like he was congratulating you.
****
Ping.
Travis looked up from his book, brows furrowed and mouth frowning slightly.
“What the hell’s that?”
His feet fell from his work desk as he looked at the computer where the sound had come from. It usually stayed silent, so this was new.
He grabbed the mouse and clicked through the multiple opened pages – recipes, directions, questionable searches – you name it. Everyone that used this computer had a habit of never closing the pages because of that one time Travis accidentally pressed ‘X’ on one of Griffin’s searches and the latter blew up in Teacake’s face.
He finally landed on the page responsible for the sound – that self-help forum he had found while browsing for used books in the area – where he had written a message even though it had looked completely abandoned out of sheer curiosity.
His eyes widened when he saw someone had answered him.
“HydratedCatMom?” He chuckled under his breath, picturing a lonely fifty-something woman with six cats.
Still, he felt good that someone saw and took the time to answer him. He cracked his knuckles and buried his hands in his grown-out bleached hair, before he started typing.
HydratedCatMom : Hey! I don’t know if you’ll see this but I’m here! :)
HalfBaked_T : Woah, I really didn’t expect anyone to answer haha
You got the message relatively quickly, maybe a few minutes after yours, and it made you pause. You weren’t expecting it either. A warm and uncomfortable feeling bloomed in your chest, one that you were painfully familiar with. You started taking slow and deep breaths, speaking softly to yourself. “’Kay, you’re okay. You’re just talking to someone. It’s good. It’s what you wanted. It’s normal to feel anxious and it’ll pass.”
You stared at the screen before deciding to type.
HydratedCatMom : Oh! Me neither haha
It didn’t take long before you got an answer.
HalfBaked_T : Yeah, this chat is pretty lame
HalfBaked_T : Not that you’re lame for using it!
HalfBaked_T : I just mean it was literally abandoned
HalfBaked_T : And like, I’m using it so if you’re lame then I’m lame too
HalfBaked_T : Okay, sorry. I’ll stop now
You giggled to yourself as you saw the panicked messages pop up on your screen. Maybe the person behind the funny username was just as nervous as you were. For some reason, that made you feel better.
HydratedCatMom : Haha don’t worry, it’s fine. I am kinda lame
HalfBaked_T : Come on, I’m sure you aren’t. So… what brings you here?
You took a deep breath, leaning back into your desk chair and looking up at the ceiling. You wanted to be truthful, but you also didn’t know how much you were willing to say for a first conversation.
HydratedCatMom : I’ve been working on myself a lot. Anxiety and whatnot. And I wanted to try to start talking to people since I’ve been feeling like I don’t have that many friends. You?
You cringed a bit, but you stuck with it as you sent the message.
HalfBaked_T : Oh, I get that. It’s not really easy to make new friends
HalfBaked_T : I read a lot of self-help books. Did some stuff I’m not proud of and I’m trying to stand up for myself and think things through instead of just diving headfirst
Travis covered his mouth with his hand and rubbed at his jaw as he stared at his last message. Was it too ominous?
“‘Stuff I’m not proud of’, they could think I’m a freakin' murderer or somethin',” he mumbled when he saw that you hadn’t answered yet. He quickly started typing again.
HalfBaked_T : It’s nothing that bad, I swear!
HalfBaked_T : Just went to prison for a little while
HalfBaked_T : Damn it, I keep making it worse for myself
HalfBaked_T : Let’s just say that if your “friend” asks you to stay behind the wheel while they make a quick run into the gas station… don’t do it
HalfBaked_T : Basically, I’m too gullible and I’m trying not to be
He stood up then, a frustrated huff leaving him as his hands dragged down his face. “Can’t even shut the hell up via textin', man.”
It took a minute. A long minute where he convinced himself he had basically ruined his chances of having a conversation with the stranger.
But then, he heard the soft ping come through the busted speakers of the work computer again.
HydratedCatMom : Hey, I get it. I’ve made mistakes before too
Travis stared at your message for a while, blinking confusedly. He had not expected this unknown person to be so understanding, especially not about how their new pen pal was an ex-convict.
HalfBaked_T : You don’t mind?
HydratedCatMom : Not really. It’s not like I’ll meet you and if you’re trying to work on yourself, then I’m right there with you
HalfBaked_T : Oh, yeah. Well thanks for not freaking out :)
HalfBaked_T : And to go back on what you said, as for feeling lonely, I get it.
HalfBaked_T : Been cutting some bad influences from my life and I realize now that there haven’t been many good ones
HydratedCatMom : I can understand that. Sounds like we’re in a similar situation after all
HalfBaked_T : Yeah, I think so :)
Travis smiled at the screen, feeling weirdly content. “Well alright, HydratedCatMom,” he said to himself, slightly surprised.
You grinned too, Sergio now curled up in your lap as you petted his head. Maybe this forum thing wasn’t as bad an idea as you thought it was at first.
HydratedCatMom : I gotta get some sleep, but I’ll be back tomorrow, same time if you wanna keep chatting
HalfBaked_T : Yeah, that’s cool! I work nights and it’s pretty boring, so I’ll be here
HydratedCatMom : Cool, later then :)
HalfBaked_T : bye :)
As you shut off your computer, you were left with an interesting feeling inside your chest. The anxiety had dulled down now that you had actually taken the first step and chatted with someone. But there was still a slight buzzing sensation beneath your skin. Maybe a mix of the lingering stress and the excitement of talking to someone new.
It took you longer to fall asleep. Sergio was curled up behind your knees as you laid on your side – the melatonin pill you had taken a minute ago slowly dissolving under your tongue in an effort to try and jumpstart your sleepiness. Were you making a mistake? Was it a good idea to chat with an ex-convict? You weren’t one to judge people, and it didn’t seem like they had done a violent crime. But people lied all the time.
Thoughts kept bouncing around your head, but they started to make less and less sense. They blurred into each other until it was unclear if you were awake or dreaming, and then your alarm went off.
****
As Travis got to work the next day – or well, the next night – he waved off his coworker and settled at his desk. He immediately pulled up the forum.
There were no new messages. “Hm.”
He leaned back in the desk chair, his arms coming up so his fingers intertwined and cradled the back of his head. He talked to himself quietly. “Yeah, no worries. It was a little later when she wrote last night.”
He went to start typing but he stopped himself, tilting his head like a puppy. “She? Do I even know that? Oh. Cat mom. Right. Probably a she, but who knows.”
HalfBaked_T : Hello again? :)
About 45 minutes later, your reply came.
HydratedCatMom : Hiya!
HalfBaked_T : Had a good day at work?
HalfBaked_T : Assuming you work
HydratedCatMom : Yeah, I work :) It was okay, pretty boring. You’re at work now, right?
Travis wanted to ask you what you did for work, but he wondered if that was going against the forum’s rules, so he didn’t.
HalfBaked_T : Yeah, boring too
HalfBaked_T : So, apart from this, do you have any plans on how to meet new people?
HydratedCatMom : I’m not too sure, actually. I don’t have many coworkers, and I don’t really know where I’d start :/
HalfBaked_T : It’s so hard when we’re older, right?
HalfBaked_T : Like are we just supposed to go up to people and say hi?
HalfBaked_T : Like, I can do that. I talk A LOT. But people usually find it weird or off-putting I guess when they don’t know me
HalfBaked_T : Even when they know me too, to be fair
HalfBaked_T : They don’t really stick around
HydratedCatMom : I feel like if someone did that to me, it would be way easier haha I could just lay back and listen
HydratedCatMom : For me, going up to someone randomly is crazy stressful
HalfBaked_T : Oh I didn’t think of that! But yeah, with your anxiety and all that, I bet it’s hard
HalfBaked_T : We’d make a good team tho
HalfBaked_T : Like I start talking and you tell me when to shut up haha
Their reply made you laugh – a strong belly one – startling Sergio as he took off running under the bed. “Oh, sorry baby!” You bent slightly to see his shiny green eyes staring you down from under your unmade resting place. The forum quickly came back into your mind and pulled you away from your ungrateful son with an amused scoff.
“We’d make a good team tho.” You tried to picture it, but you quickly ran into a problem. You didn’t know who they were. What they looked like. You didn’t even know if you were talking to a man or a woman or someone that doesn’t define themselves as such. Your curiosity grew, but you were too shy to actually ask.
HydratedCatMom : Haha that would definitely help me actually
HydratedCatMom : You’re funny :)
HalfBaked_T : Thanks haha
HalfBaked_T : But I’m just a guy who talks too much
“Oh, so he’s a guy. Good to know, I guess,” you said quietly to yourself, popping another piece of chocolate into your mouth from the candy bar you had gotten yourself as a little treat earlier.
HydratedCatMom : I saw online that a good way to meet people would be to join a class or a club or something
HalfBaked_T : I guess that’s fair
HalfBaked_T : Cause then you know you at least have one thing in common, right?
HalfBaked_T : Makes conversation easier
You found yourself smiling a bit to yourself, enjoying having this exchange with a total stranger. It felt good to talk to someone that wasn’t your therapist and that you didn’t have to speak to for your job or for the sake of being polite at the grocery store.
HydratedCatMom : Yeah exactly
HydratedCatMom : Been thinking about joining this pottery class downtown. I walk by the studio sometimes and it looks fun, but all the people look so cool haha It kinda intimidates me
HalfBaked_T : Pottery’s cool
HalfBaked_T : I’m sure someone would talk to you :)
HydratedCatMom : IDK… I feel like everyone knows everyone else already and I’d just be kinda awkward in a corner lol
HalfBaked_T : Oh I get it, kinda like arriving in the middle of the school year and all the cliques are already formed so you have nowhere to go
HalfBaked_T : Valid fear
HalfBaked_T : But you would probably have to go in order to know, right?
HydratedCatMom : Yeah, I guess so
HydratedCatMom : But I don’t feel ready yet I think :/
HalfBaked_T : That’s okay :)
HalfBaked_T : I could really take example on you and how you think things through haha
His reply made you pause and tilt your head. It was the first time someone had told you that what you considered a character flaw of yours could actually be a positive trait. Sure, thorough thinking and anxiety are two different things, but it is a fact that you don’t make rash decisions. You’re good at analyzing and trying to figure out what’s right.
The corners of your lips pulled up, and your cheeks reddened slightly.
HydratedCatMom : Never saw it like that actually
Travis’ eyebrows furrowed and created a shallow crease in the middle of his forehead, his fingers rubbing absently at the stubble on his jaw. Can she really not see that?
HalfBaked_T : Like what?
HalfBaked_T : Like a quality? Cause to me, it is
HalfBaked_T : I used to be a terminal ‘Yes man’, like anyone would ask me to do something and I’d just go for it, no questions asked
HalfBaked_T : And it’s been hard to try and settle down and ask myself if I actually should do it
HalfBaked_T : Maybe I don’t need to do this really dumb thing just cause someone asked me to, you know?
HalfBaked_T : Anyway, sorry, I’m rambling again. Basically, I talk way too much and think too little, and I’m working on it.
HalfBaked_T : So yeah. I find it impressive that it seems to come naturally to you
His strong hands gripped his thighs as he shook his head a little, feeling like maybe you’ll finally get bored of him and tell him to shut up like everyone else does.
HydratedCatMom : Well, I feel like it’s not all black and white. I can quickly start overthinking and trigger my anxiety, and I wish I could have some of your spontaneity. So don’t be so hard on yourself :)
His grip loosened, a warm feeling spreading inside his chest and making him relax slightly in the desk chair. His chin tucked gently into his zip-up Atchison Storage jacket, his teeth catching on the zipper.
HalfBaked_T : Yeah, I guess you’re right :)
HydratedCatMom : I gotta get some sleep. Same time tmrw? Only if you want, of course
HalfBaked_T : Yeah, okay!
HydratedCatMom : Night!
HalfBaked_T : Night :)
****
For about a week and a half, chatting with this anonymous guy became routine. You woke up in the morning eager to go to work, just so you could come back home and exchange messages with him. You both had started to learn things about the other – things that didn’t really threaten the whole anonymity of the site. He had learned your cat is named Sergio and that you love him very much. You had picked up on the fact that he likes to read horror books. The conversations became less and less about self-help and seeking advice, and more and more about talking to a friend.
And when you saw Jenna again, you told her all about it. She listened to you with a soft smile on her face, her head nodding gently. She could see your excitement at getting to know someone new, even if you kept saying it wasn’t for real.
“Why do you keep saying that?” She asked, head tilted. She didn’t sound accusing, just curious.
“Say what?” You tried to clarify, brows pulled in.
“That it’s ‘not for real’ or it ‘doesn’t count’?”
You broke eye contact with her, looking at the ground as you thought about it. “I don’t know… Well, I do. It’s the anonymous part. Like I don’t know him for real, you know? I can’t be friends with him if I don’t know who he is.”
You thought you were making sense, and she hummed and nodded as if you were. But then what she said made you see it differently.
“It sounds like you know him pretty well now except for his name and face. I feel like knowing someone like you do that man online is a better basis for friendship than ‘identity’.”
“Huh.” You looked at her with wide eyes before a soft smile bloomed on your lips.
****
SLAM!
The sound of your door forcefully closing reverberated throughout your whole apartment building. You tossed your bag on the ground, groaning loudly. Your clothes and your hair were dripping wet, creating puddles in your entryway as Sergio looked at you warily from around the corner of the hallway. Even he, your usually affectionate cat, didn’t want to come closer. What a shit day.
A few hours earlier, you had been driving home from work in the pouring rain. The water had been falling in long ropes and pretty much had made it impossible to see where you’d been going, even with your wipers at full speed. And even though you had been driving slowly, your tire still had managed to get snagged against something sharp and you had gotten a flat.
With no roadside assistance, and a father who had insisted you learn how to change a tire when you first left to live on your own, you had gotten out of your car and went to work. But even in perfectly normal weather, it would have taken you a long time. You had only done it once with your dad and that had been probably like 6 years ago.
So, by the time you were done and finally home, you were completely drenched and in a bad fucking mood.
You quickly got out of your wet clothes once you got inside your apartment and you placed them in your dryer. The warm water from your shower almost felt like it was nagging you – Oh, now you want to get wet? Stupid fucking water.
Once you finally got around to feed Sergio, it was basically time for you to go to bed. But you saw the forum page that you now always left open on your computer, and two messages were waiting for you.
HalfBaked_T : Hey Hydra! :)
You were usually the one who would write first because he knew you had to get home before you could chat. He had written that about thirty minutes later than your normal starting time. Fuck. Your heart broke a little, imagining this faceless man waiting for you to come online.
And then the other message, written about an hour after the first one, just really made you feel even worse.
HalfBaked_T : You there?
You quickly started to type, hoping that he hadn’t logged off for the night.
HydratedCatMom : Hey T! Oh my god, I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA, I got a flat and I had to change it myself and it was pouring rain outside, it took me like 3 hours
You didn’t notice how your leg was bouncing and your hand went to twirl that piece of hair at the base of your neck. You were anxious. You didn’t want to lose your friend.
****
The book was in his hands. Opened, even. But he wasn’t reading it.
The uneasy feeling that had settled inside him when you hadn’t reached out first kept festering as you continued to not reply to him. He worried that maybe he had been too intense – he had even skimmed over your conversations of the past few days trying to see where he could have gone wrong before he had settled on reading to stop thinking about it.
“Fuckin' hell, man,” he said under his breath, giving up and closing his book. His head lolled back against the headrest of the chair, his eyes fixing on a pipe on the ceiling. Everyone thinks I’m too much.
But then, ping!
He sat up so quickly that he almost gave himself whiplash, the desk chair protesting under the speediness of his actions. He rolled toward the computer and as soon as he saw your message, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
HydratedCatMom : Hey T! Oh my god, I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA, I got a flat and I had to change it myself and it was pouring rain outside, it took me like 3 hours
HalfBaked_T : Hey it’s okay! No worries
Play it cool, Teacake.
HalfBaked_T : It’s not like you have to talk to me haha
Stupid.
HalfBaked_T : Not that I don’t want you to!
HalfBaked_T : Jesus haha ok sorry
HalfBaked_T : I was just worried for a sec that you got tired of me rambling too much haha but I'm sorry all that happened :(
Your heart unclenched as his replies came in. He’s not mad at me.
Sergio finally deemed you safe enough to approach as he jumped up in your lap. His tail brushed under your arm, and you gave him a few pets before you replied to the man you now referred to as ‘T’.
HydratedCatMom : No never. I felt so bad leaving you in the dark, I’m sorry!
HydratedCatMom : By the way, you keep saying stuff like that. Are you really that scared people will think you’re too much?
HalfBaked_T : Yeah, well they usually do
HalfBaked_T : In real life I mean
HydratedCatMom : Have people told you that before?
HalfBaked_T : Yup. All the time
And that’s all he wrote, like the topic being brought up was enough to make him self-conscious. You could almost feel him physically holding himself back from replying again.
HydratedCatMom : That’s mean :( Please don’t hold back with me, okay?
HalfBaked_T : Okay :)
HalfBaked_T : But don’t hesitate to tell me if I’m too much, I can take it I swear
HydratedCatMom : You’re not too much, T :)
HalfBaked_T : Well now I don’t know what to say lol
HalfBaked_T : But thank you Hydra :) means a lot
You went to bed not too long after, feeling exhausted from the whirlwind of emotions of the day. But even after everything, it was with a pleasant feeling in your chest that you found sleep. You were pretty sure you could call T your friend now. Jenna had been right, knowing someone’s real-life identity isn’t necessary. The thought made you smile.
At work, Travis was also smiling. Someone finally didn’t think that he was being too much. Granted, you had never talked to him in person, so you didn’t know what an unfiltered conversation with him truly looked like, but still. It had to count for something, right?
****
It was a week later – a week filled with sometimes insightful and sometimes boring conversation – when you noticed a new tiny red banner at the top of the site.
This forum will be shut down in 5 days, accompanied by an ominous countdown until then.
Your heart squeezed uncomfortably as you took in the news.
HydratedCatMom : Hey T! Are you seeing that banner?
HalfBaked_T : Yo Hydra! Yeah, I just saw that
HydratedCatMom : Damn haha
For a second, you weren’t sure how to feel. Chatting with someone online was supposed to be a way for you to break the ice of starting to meet new people. Surely, you had done that already, and you should be making plans to maybe join that pottery class you were thinking about. The forum was an experiment; it shouldn’t bother you that it was coming to an end. Nevertheless, you considered T to be your friend now. You didn’t want to lose that relationship just because this stupidly old website was now being shut down.
You had no clue how to voice that to him though. Did he see you as a friend? Would he think that it was weird that you were feeling attached to your friendship? You didn’t have much time to ask yourself all of those questions before he replied.
HalfBaked_T : I’m really bummed about that
HalfBaked_T : I kinda see you as a friend now, we’ve talked about so much stuff haha
HalfBaked_T : Sorry if that’s weird, I don’t know if you feel like that or not
HalfBaked_T : But yeah, don’t really wanna stop talking with you
A soft breath escaped your lips as they curved upward. The fact that he felt the same eased that pang of anxiety that had taken root inside your ribcage at the sight of that red warning.
HydratedCatMom : I feel the same, actually. I’m kinda glad you do too haha
HydratedCatMom : Maybe we could find a way to talk another way?
HalfBaked_T : Yeah!
HalfBaked_T : Don’t know how tho, they really push the whole anonymity thing
HalfBaked_T : Maybe we could find another forum?
You thought about his proposition and for some reason, it didn’t feel as satisfying as it should. It was an easy solution to your problem – find another forum, keep up the anonymity, keep chatting with your friend – Perfect.
So why was there that nagging feeling at the back of your brain?
HydratedCatMom : I mean, we definitely could. But I also just got an idea…
HalfBaked_T : Oh! Do tell :)
HydratedCatMom : Maybe it’s crazy and you can say no obviously
HydratedCatMom : Do you know Copperwood Park?
HalfBaked_T : Yeah, the one with the little ice cream shop?
HalfBaked_T : What about it?
HydratedCatMom : Yeah, that one :)
HydratedCatMom : Is it like totally crazy if I leave a paper with my number tucked somewhere and you could go get it?
The minutes ticked by with no reply from T.
Sergio was ogling you with concern from his perch on the windowsill as you started picking at the skin of your fingers – a regulating habit that you never quite shook off in moments of pressure.
You were halfway convinced that your proposition had scared him off into oblivion, and that he was not going to reply to you again, but then you heard the satisfying ping come in.
HalfBaked_T : Woah, kinda like those new escape rooms they got now
HalfBaked_T : I think they lock you in a cage and you’re like supposed to solve a puzzle or something just to get out
HalfBaked_T : Oh and they have all those horror-themed ones that look cool, you know?
You giggled softly as you read his oncoming messages, your hand lowering from the previous assault of your teeth on the raw skin.
HalfBaked_T : Anyway, I digress
HalfBaked_T : And sorry for the long reply btw, had a client come in which doesn’t happen often this time of night
HalfBaked_T : But, yeah. I’m down if you’re down :)
HydratedCatMom : Awesome! Do you know that green bench by the stream?
HalfBaked_T : Yeah! Smoked my first… “bad” cig there haha
You laughed at that, understanding the innuendo for ‘joint’ easily. You had noticed that T sometimes seemed to filter himself and his language, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the ‘respect’ rules of the forum or if he was just like that.
HydratedCatMom : lol
HydratedCatMom : I’ll leave it under it like tucked somewhere. On my way to work tomorrow?
HalfBaked_T : Sounds good :) I’ll pick it up on my way to work as well
HalfBaked_T : You sure you’re okay with that?
HydratedCatMom : To be honest, I am a little nervous, but I feel like we’re friends so yeah. I’m sure :)
HalfBaked_T : Of course we’re friends :)
****
Your hands shook gently as you gripped the paper, your feet carrying you toward the green wooden bench next to the little stream meandering through Copperwood park. The slightly nipping cold of the early morning wasn’t to blame for your trembling, though.
Your mind was racing. Were you really about to do this? Anyone could stumble upon it and text you. Was this completely stupid?
However, as the long seat took more and more real estate in your field of vision, you pushed it all down. You repeated to yourself like a mantra that you were going to be okay, and that you really wanted to keep talking with T in an easier manner. This was the solution for that.
You safely tucked the white piece of paper under the bench – in a little crevice in the wood that looked like it was made exactly for that – and then you left to go to work. A soft buzzing sensation accompanied you inside your chest for the rest of the day, but you decided to perceive it as excitement instead of anxiety.
****
The soft and calming voice of the woman narrating the self-help podcast abruptly cut off as Travis turned the key in the ignition. “Alright, let’s see this,” he said to himself, unwilling to feel too hopeful in case you hadn’t actually left your number.
His hands were buried inside of his work vest’s pockets as he walked from the small parking lot to the lonely green bench. After sitting down and fumbling around, he laughed softly to himself as he found the paper. He unfolded it and read the little note that accompanied your number.
Hey, T! This it it :)
A soft smile spread on his face at the sight of your handwriting. It was a little more crooked than what he was expecting, for some reason, but that made him feel more at ease with the whole situation. It made it more real.
He created a new contact in his phone named ‘Hydra’ before tucking the piece of paper safely in his pocket. He shot you a quick text as he made his way back to his car.
****
It was nearing the end of your shift – your feet were killing you and you were tired. You almost didn’t feel the buzz against your behind over the faint thrum of excitement that had followed you all day, even if it was dampening slightly now because of your sleepy state.
You pulled out your phone and saw a new message from an unknown number. The thrumming immediately crested and morphed into anxious fire as you opened it.
Unknown number : Hey Hydra, it’s T :) from the forum haha
You smiled brightly at your phone. If anyone had seen you then, they would have thought that you were getting the best news of your life.
Hydra : Hey! It worked! You should actually give those escape rooms a try haha ;)
You quickly changed the contact info to ‘T’, but seeing the ‘name’ box of your contacts app did rekindle that curiosity inside of you to know who you were really talking to.
T : Lol maybe I should, yeah
T : Would be kinda hard on my own though
It didn’t take long for you both to fall back into what had become so familiar until then. The only difference was that since you could just text normally without going through the forum, you didn’t limit your conversations to strictly at night while he’s at work and you’re about to go to bed.
Even though you had different life schedules, there was still a good eight hours where you were both awake at the same time, and it was often spent texting each other about everything and anything.
T : Saw a cat on my way to work
T : it was all black and white, super adorable and shit
T : (Attached picture)
T : Does it look like Sergio?
Hydra : omg it is cute! Yeah, kinda! But Sergio’s a little fatter
Hydra : (Attached picture)
Hydra : Didn’t realize I could finally show him to you :)
T : What a king haha
One night, you came back from work, you did your whole routine, and before you knew it, you were sprawled out on your bed, a glass of red wine resting on your nightstand. You picked up your latest read – a sort of sci-fi romance that had seemed cringe at first but then had quickly reeled you in and made you obsessed.
As for Travis, he had just woken up, a bit later than usual because it was his day off. He was resting on his back, staring at the ceiling, one arm tucked under his head as his other hand scratched lazily over his stomach. He was wearing a gray cotton shirt and sweatpants – his bedsheets tangled around his legs.
Without really thinking, he picked up his phone.
T : Hey :)
The gentle buzz on your pillow pulled you out of your imagination, a soft smile spreading over your lips as you put down your book.
Hydra : Hiya!
Hydra : It’s your day off, right?
T : Hell yeah it is
T : Already kinda bored though haha
T : That has to be a record, I’ve been awake for like 10 minutes
Hydra : And there’s nothing you wanna do?
T : Not really.
T : Don’t know what book I should read
T : Don’t wanna watch TV
T : Don’t really even wanna go to the gym
T : Kinda just wanna talk I guess
An amused snort escaped you, because of course. You knew how much he could go on and on, talking the ears off whoever was willing to listen. You felt like talking – or in your experience with him, texting – was a way for him to regulate himself, and you were more than happy to see him not filtering himself with you. So really, you didn’t mind all the double texting if it meant he could be himself.
Hydra : Well I’m not really sleepy yet, so go for it :)
T : Can I call you?
Your breath hitched. That was a line that you had never crossed. And even though you now both knew more personal things about each other – like how you were pretty close in age and on which side of town you lived – you had never actually spoken to one another, and you were still staying anonymous.
But it wasn’t like you didn’t want to. You really liked T as a friend – he made you feel listened to, he remembered things, he was funny… You were just really scared of having no security net while talking to him. Via chatting or texting, you could think about what you were going to say. You could replay and loop your replies in your head, type them out a few different ways before settling on the one that was a good compromise between being safe but also still sounding like you.
Whereas out loud, on a call, you couldn’t do that. If you didn’t know what to say, you had to stew in the silence and try to come up with something on the fly. And if you said something that came out wrong, you couldn’t just erase it and try again.
As if sensing your hesitation – probably because of how long he waited for your reply with no sign of life – he texted again.
T : We don’t have to, no pressure
T : Just sometimes I feel like texting is limiting, yk?
T : Like there’s so many things happening up there I wish I could write it all out but it’d be way too long lol
T : Anyway, forget I asked if it made you uncomfortable or nervous. I understand, I’m sorry
His words were like a soft blanket being deposited over your shoulders, making you feel more at ease now that you saw how he wasn’t pushing for it. After all, it was just T. And you’d be kidding yourself if you didn’t admit that you had been wondering what he sounded like.
You took a deep breath, your thumbs slightly clumsy as you typed back.
Hydra : Don’t be sorry! I’m a bit nervous, but yeah, you can call me if you want :)
T : Are you sure? I really don’t mind if you don’t want to
Hydra : No no, I want to, T
T : Ok :)
It took maybe fifteen seconds before your phone started vibrating rhythmically – bzz… bzz… bzz… You stared at it as the letter ‘T’ flashed on the screen. You swallowed thickly, letting out a breath and closing your eyes before you answered.
“H-…Hello?”
“Oh hi! Damn…” He let out a soft incredulous laugh. The sound of it made the tension in your body loosen gently.
He kept talking. “It’s ‘T’, by the way. In case you were expectin’ someone else to call or somethin’. And actually, now that I say it out loud, I don’t usually go by ‘T’, so you can call me Teacake.”
You giggled at the nickname. “’Teacake’? Like, is that your real name or a nickname?”
Being able to hear you for the first time hit Travis all at once. Oh, she has a nice voice, he thought to himself.
“No, yeah. I mean, s’what my friends call me. My real name’s Travis, but no one really calls me that. But I guess you can if you want to, I mean you do whatever’s good for you, y’know?”
Hearing him talk brought a smile to your face. He was talkative, like you had pictured he would be, but his voice was deeper than what you expected. He had an interesting drawl that you couldn’t quite pinpoint, too. It settled in somewhere inside you, maybe a little deeper than it should have, and it almost felt comforting.
“Travis… that’s a nice name,” You offered softly, deciding that would probably be what you’d prefer to use for him.
“Uh, thanks! What’s your real name?” He sat up in his bed and scratched his jaw. “Only if you wanna tell me, of course. I can keep callin’ you Hydra, no problem.”
You chuckled and before you even had time to think twice about it, you offered him your name. Maybe he was rubbing off on you.
He said it once, as if practicing how it fit inside his well-oiled mouth. “Mm, I like it. Suits you. Y’know, there was this girl I knew in middle school with that name. I think she was into horses. Used to run around the school yard pretendin’ she was one and stuff.”
You turned on your belly, a faint smile on your lips as you listened to him. “Were you friends with her?”
He settled back against the headboard of his bed, one hand coming up to absent-mindedly brush through his bleached lengths. “Nah. Kids used to make fun of her. I didn’t though. Always thought it was kinda cool that she just did what she liked. I dunno.” He frowned a bit and cleared his throat. “I don’t even know why I’m tellin’ you all that, sorry.”
You giggled softly. “Hey, Travis. You know you don’t have to apologize with me, right?” Your voice was gentle, filled with a care he rarely heard from other people.
“Y-yeah, yeah. S’just sometimes I go on tangents, and I realize only after and I worry people’ll get bored.”
You hummed in understanding. You had talked many times before about how it was a constant in his life, being told he talked too much and how he should learn to shut it once in a while. “I know. But I don’t think you’re boring.”
Travis smiled, a soft breath escaping his lips, the sound making its way to you through the phone.
It took a second, but you mustered up some courage and spoke again. “We make a good team, right? You talk, I listen.”
The joke was a safe one – a little running gag you both had developed while texting each other – but it still made you nervous.
Travis chuckled, and the sound felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. “Yeah, y’right about that. I uh- really appreciate you acceptin’ this, by the way. Callin’, I mean.”
“Yeah, well… I was pretty nervous but I’m okay now. I wanted to speak with you for real as well, just didn’t think I’d ever be ready.” The slight shyness in your tone made Travis’ expression soften.
“Well, look at you gettin’ out of your comfort zone.” The way his voice got slightly lower and laced with praise made the tip of your ears grow pink. “I know that’s hard for you, so… is it weird to say I’m proud? Feel like I know you pretty well but since it’s our first time talkin’ and all –“
The conversation kept going after that like it always did via text. Travis was doing most of the conversational heavy lifting – not that it bothered him or you – as he found new subjects to talk about and dove headfirst into them. What struck you amongst all of it was that even though he was quite vocal, he was also incredibly attentive. He always asked you what you were thinking, how you felt about certain things. He listened closely when you were speaking, hummed in understanding, asked clarifying questions when he needed to. He wasn’t merely waiting for you to stop talking just so he could keep going – which is something you had experienced in the past on bad dates – so it felt nice. He also remembered things you had said. It made you feel like you mattered, and the warmth spreading in your chest the more and more that first conversation trotted along had nothing to do with lingering anxiety and everything to do with simmering affection.
“…and I think that’s why butterflies spook me a little.” You caught a glimpse of your alarm clock through your now empty glass of wine – the display showing that it was well past midnight. You gasped softly just as Travis finished his sentence.
“You okay?” the concern in his voice made you chuckle.
“Y-yeah! I just didn’t realize what time it was. I should probably head to bed. Work tomorrow, y’know?” Your cheeks tinted crimson as you realized that you just spent around three hours talking to a man and that you hadn’t felt bored once.
Travis nodded to himself, his hand scratching his jaw as he felt slightly guilty for keeping you awake for so long. “Yeah, of course! You should go to bed. I’m sorry for keepin’ you up.”
“Stop apologizing, Travis. I… really enjoyed it.” The lilt in your voice betrayed your smile, and it made the corners of Travis’ lips twitch as well.
“Ah. Sorry. I mean, fuck! O-okay.” His whole face scrunched and he laughed softly. “I enjoyed it too. A lot.”
The hard enamel of your teeth pinched the inside of your cheek before you spoke. “Feel free to call me whenever, ‘kay?”
“Yeah, alright. I will. Goodnight,” he said as your name tumbled out of his lips like he had been saying it forever, even though he had just learned it three hours ago.
“Have a good day, Travis.”
As you hung up the call, you couldn’t shake the grin on your face. I have a friend, and I like talking to him, and it’s going well. But there was also an annoying little flutter deep in your belly. His voice had settled somewhere inside you, a place that hadn’t been reached in a long time. You didn’t think about it too much though, the exhaustion from the stress and excitement of talking to Travis for the first time catching up to you.
As for Travis, his off day was spent doing some laundry and going to the gym. And thinking about you entirely too much.
****
It took a couple of days before Travis dared to call you again, not wanting to be too much too quickly even though you had assured him time and time again that he would never be. And after that? It became routine once more, like it always so effortlessly did with him.
There was something special about the link between the both of you. However you chose to communicate, you made space for it in your lives almost seamlessly, like you had both been waiting to be rearranged just for this.
He called you when he got into work and you were just getting home. You called him when you were waking up and you knew he was done with work. It simply fit, even though you were on totally different schedules.
And the more and more you called each other, the more and more you started getting that fluttery feeling deep inside. It was almost reminiscent of your anxiety – the way it buzzed below your skin, occupied your thoughts and made you feel restless. But this feeling, you craved it. You didn’t want to push it away, you wanted to lean into it. You hadn’t felt this way in a long time, and the fact that you could still experiment it after you thought it wasn’t for you anymore, it was reassuring, in a way.
But as that sentiment grew fiercer, it did make you start to worry. Travis was your friend. The first one you had made in a long time. And you liked him. A lot. The last thing you wanted was to lose him because of your growing feelings for him. What if he doesn’t feel the same? I mean, he doesn’t even know what I look like. What if I’m not his type?
No, you couldn’t risk it.
So you settled for the next best thing. Calling him and answering when he called you. Talking about nonsense. Laughing. Just so you were able to get a little part of him – the most you could get.
It was about 11PM on a Wednesday evening when you got a voice message from him. You had texted him an hour earlier a question about a book he had told you he was reading that you were interested in.
Sitting on your bed with Sergio next to you, you pressed play on the several-minutes-long audio.
Oh god.
“Uh, hey! Just saw your question.” The sound of him panting. “Sorry, was at the gym. On my way home now. So, basically, it’s this guy who…”
The problem wasn’t the information he was giving you. If you could have paid attention to it, you would have found that he was being surprisingly helpful and explaining the plot of the book quite well without divulging any meaningful spoilers.
But you couldn’t pay attention to any of that.
Travis sounded out of breath, like he had just gotten off the treadmill a second before recording the message because he couldn’t wait any longer. It made his voice slightly rougher, and he kept huffing and puffing. He let out little oh god’s as he tried to catch his breath between sentences.
You immediately felt like you were burning up from the inside – intrusive images of what the faceless man could have been doing to make him sound just like that popping up in your mind.
You shook your head halfway through the message and restarted it from the top, trying to focus on what he was saying instead of on how hot he sounded saying it.
When you finished the message, you quickly shot him a thank you text for his explanation and told him to have a good day off because you were going to bed.
But as you turned off the light on your nightstand, your mind got plagued. You couldn’t stop thinking about how he had sounded, how it had ignited something in you. Liquid heat pooled low in your belly, almost making you writhe as you tossed and turned.
“Get a grip,” you told yourself. It didn’t feel appropriate to give in and touch yourself to the sound of your friend’s voice when what he had done wasn’t even sexual in anyway. You were not that much of a pervert.
****
Except you were, apparently.
Because the next night, while he was on the phone with you, doing his rounds at work, bending over to check the locks on the storage units and letting out huffs and grunts? The heat built back up way too quickly.
You couldn’t fight it anymore, and you thought you could be discreet enough about it. You put your phone on mute as he kept rambling, just so he didn’t hear you shuffle around while you took off your pajama pants and underwear. You winced at how wet you were once you made contact with your heated core, drawing slow circles over your clit.
“…oh, I was wonderin’ actually if you like bananas?” Travis asked, completely unaware of whatever was happening. When he didn’t get an answer, he said your name with a confused tone, looking at his phone to check if the call was still going. “You there?”
Your phone fell on your mattress as you scrambled for it. When you finally managed to grasp it and unmute yourself, you sounded flustered. “Y-yeah! I’m here, sorry. What was that?”
Travis paused next to a unit, his brows furrowing at the slightly breathless quality to your voice. “I asked if you like bananas. Are you okay? You sound… weird.”
You let out a nervous chuckle, your hand instinctively going back to between your legs but staying still. “I’m totally fine. Um, yeah. I like bananas.” You cleared your throat.
He tilted his head, unconvinced, as he leaned against the cold metal wall. “You sound… breathless and shit. You sure? Were you havin’ a panic attack or somethin’?”
The concern in his voice made you close your eyes and let out a long breath through your nose. God, he’s so sweet. He was very aware of your struggles and that attentiveness did not help how you felt for him. “No, Travis. I promise. Just… don’t mind it, okay? You can keep going. Why did you wanna know if I like bananas?”
He still didn’t fully believe you, but it seemed to satisfy him enough as he started walking and talking again. “Okay, well. I wanted to know because there’s this bakery on Sixth Street that has this insane banana bread with chocolate chips in it. I passed it last time I was comin’ back from the gym and basically undid all the work I had just done but…”
As he resumed his rambling, you started touching yourself again. You knew how ashamed you would feel after, but in the moment, all you could think about was Travis and how he sounded when he bent down and when he talked to you.
You stayed quiet, your eyes rolling back in pleasure when you changed the rhythm slightly on your swollen clit. You answered him when he asked questions, trying to sound normal, and for a while it worked.
At one point though, he had been talking on his own for so long that you forgot you weren’t on mute. Your fingers dipped lower and pressed inside yourself, your generous slick making it easy. A very soft “oh fuck” left your lips, but it was loud enough for Travis to pick it up on his end, making him stop dead in his tracks.
His mind was reeling. You didn’t sound like you were in pain. You didn’t sound like you were panicking. He stayed silent, his phone pressed to his ear as his breathing grew ragged.
The couple seconds it took for you to even register that he had stopped talking were enough for you to let a whimper slip out of your lips as you fucked yourself with your fingers.
Travis felt his cock twitch at the sound, his eyes round as pennies from confusion, surprise and arousal. He whispered your name – like a question he wasn’t sure he even had the right to ask – and everything finally clicked inside your hazy brain. Your fingers stopped. Your phone lowered from your ear as you saw the mute button. Unengaged. Fuck.
You didn’t say anything, your cheeks burning from embarrassment and shame. The way your mind had been glazed over with desire mere seconds before felt incredibly distant as the reality of the situation came crashing around you. Before you could even begin to form a thought, you hung up the call.
As you sat up in your bed, your hands started to shake. The room felt smaller and bigger at the same time. Your point of view was sinking further back in your mind as you started to feel far away from your body. Panic was sinking its sticky claws in your ribs.
What the fuck were you thinking? He heard you. You stupid, dumb – ugh! You probably just lost the only friend you were able to make.
The relentless buzzing of your phone managed to get you back in the present moment for a second, ‘Travis’ flashing on the screen in an almost taunting manner.
You considered declining the call and never speaking to him again. But then, that would be losing him and his friendship without even fighting for it. Maybe you could make it seem like what had just happened wasn’t what it so obviously was.
You took a deep breath and answered the call – courageous in a way you probably wouldn’t have been a year ago during the worst of your struggles.
“Oh my God, Trav! I’m so sorry, Sergio got spooked and he ran into my phone and I dropped it, and then I accidentally ended the call when I picked it up from under the bed, and –“
“Hey, hey… Calm down.” His voice sounded a little rough, but achingly gentle as he recognized the panicked tone in your own and reacted accordingly. “Breathe. In and out. Everythin’s ok.”
You were frozen on your bed. Why was he being nice? But before you could ask yourself more questions, your body started obeying his soft commands. Your ribcage swelled up slowly, so did your belly, before you let it all out through your mouth.
“There you go. You’re okay. Just keep breathin’, yeah?”
“Y-yeah. Sorry, Travis.”
You couldn’t see him, but he shook his head as he dropped to the ground from where he was leaning against the wall. “Don’t apologize. Are you okay?”
You swallowed thickly – your mouth dry as dust from the panic attack that Travis was helping you quash. “Yeah, s’just… I don’t know. Got scared.” Your voice sounded small and it tugged at his heartstrings.
He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. The way your voice had sounded and the little whimper you had let out before you hung up had definitely cued Travis to what had been happening on your end of the call. He might have been clueless most of the time, but he wasn’t dumb. But he didn’t want to assume, and he felt like if it was what he thought it was, it probably wasn’t because of him. He had just happened to hear you. So, if you didn’t want to talk about it, then he would respect that, and the least he could do was comfort you.
He kept his voice soft. “Scared of what?”
You closed your eyes and let out a breath through your nose. “Messing up?”
“Messin’ what up?”
“This. Our friendship.” The admission tasted raw as it rolled off your tongue, your face scrunching up.
He let out a soft chuckle, almost as if what you’d said was the most outlandish idea he ever heard. He spoke your name gently. “You can’t mess this up, okay? M’not going anywhere. You’re like, such a good friend. Probably my best friend at this point, if I’m bein’ honest. You’re all good.”
His words washed over you like a warm shower soothing away your insecurity. “T-Thank you, Trav. Pretty sure you’re my best friend too.” A nervous little giggle escaped you, and he grinned at the sound.
You stayed on the phone for a few more minutes before he said goodnight and you wished him a good shift. Your heart felt full – not only had he managed to bring you down from a panic attack, he also had reassured you and not made you feel guilty for what you had done. And you were pretty sure that he had understood what had happened. What a man.
****
Maybe about a few weeks after the incident, Travis noticed something was off. Your replies were shorter and your tone was drier than usual.
You were on the phone with him one night while he was doing laundry – on his day off again – when Sergio managed to successfully launch a glass full of water off your kitchen counter after swatting at it for a couple minutes. Instead of laughing like you’d usually do, you groaned harshly and yelled a “Sergio!”
“Stupid cat, oh my god. Hang on, Trav.”
He could hear how frustrated you sounded while you cleaned the mess, leaving your phone on speaker on the counter. Once you were done, you shot a pointed look at Sergio and went into your room, shutting the door behind you as you fell back on your bed. You sighed loudly.
Travis spoke warily. “Hey, um… are you like, good?”
You scrunched your face in offense. “What? Course I’m good. Sergio’s just being a fucking idiot.”
“Yeah, yeah. I get that. But I’ve never heard you react like that to him. You usually just laugh. And you’ve kinda been short with me for the past few days. Not that I’m judgin’ or anythin’. M’just wonderin’ if there’s something goin’ on, y’know?” He sounded almost scared of your reaction to his observation, and you hated that you were making him feel that way.
The truth was that you knew exactly why you were being like that. You were pent up. Sexually. As embarrassing as it was to admit that. After that call where he had basically caught you, even if he hadn’t brought it up, you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t do it again. It wasn’t fair to him.
But Jesus, his voice still turned you on so fucking much. It was getting unbearable. You laid awake at night, replaying his voice in your head while refusing to give in to the urge to touch yourself, not wanting to be disrespectful.
It was wearing you down. But you couldn’t tell him that.
You let out a soft breath, willing your voice to be gentle. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me lately.”
The fact that you hadn’t scolded him for asking gave him more courage. “Come on. You must have a clue. You can tell me.”
You sighed, closing your eyes and raking a hand through your hair. “I’m just… pent up.”
“Pent up? What does that mean?”
You almost whimpered at having to explain it further than that. “Like… sexually? Frustrated? Ugh, this is humiliating.” You covered your face with your hand, feeling your cheeks turn bright red.
“Oh,” Travis simply said, feeling bad for pushing. But just as quickly, his brain kicked into solution-mode. “Well is there anythin’ you can do for that? Like touch yourself or somethin’?”
You groaned and he kept going. His voice sounded like a whisper as he asked himself, “what do I do when I feel like that?”, before he spoke more clearly. “Like, you could find a nice little video of somethin’ you like and just watch that and do it? I like-”
“Travis.” You sounded stern and he shut up at your tone. “I… tried and it’s not really working.”
He blinked rapidly, picking up his phone and taking it off speaker as he retreated back from his laundry to go to his room and sit on the edge of his bed. “Does it usually?”
You let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Yeah. Or sometimes I prefer reading about… sexual stuff. But I keep thinking about –“ You cut yourself off with a shake of your head. “Nevermind.”
“No, tell me. Promise I’m not judgin’.” He sounded so considerate.
“It’s complicated, Trav.” You didn’t know how much you could say without revealing too much. “Every time I try to, I keep thinking about this one person and I feel guilty because they don’t know and it isn’t fair to them.”
He tried to ignore the pang of jealousy he felt as he kept his tone soft. She doesn’t need that right now. “You mean, you think about them sexually and they don’t know that you do?”
You were basically writhing over the covers of your bed, cringing at the conversation. “Yeah. I feel like a pervert.” You let out a humorless chuckle.
The corner of his mouth pulled up in sympathy. “Mm. Well, if it’s any consolation, I don’t think that makes you a pervert or whatever. Attraction’s normal. S’okay to be attracted to people. And you’re single. I don’t think it’d necessarily be a bad thing to pleasure yourself while thinkin’ ‘bout them.”
You couldn’t stop the simultaneously relieved and surprised breath you let out at Travis basically giving you his blessing. “Y-you think so?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’ve definitely done that before. If what happens in your brain stays there, it’s not really a problem, is it?” Then he thought about it even more. “Actually, if you think the other person’s also into you, they might even find that hot.”
You felt a flush travel from your neck to the rest of your body – the now familiar arousal associated with Travis flaring up inside you. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he said simply.
“Would you?” The question left your mouth too quickly, and you froze. Before you could save face, he started talking.
“You mean like if I learned you touched yourself to me?” He let out a timid chuckle.
You were mortified. “No, I mean-“
But he cut you off, too busy nervously rambling now. “Cause, yeah I’d find that hot. I mean, I like you a lot obviously and I guess it’d be flatterin’ and all-“
“Trav.” You tried to stop him.
“…Honestly, I’d be kinda relieved ‘cause I’ve also been thinkin' 'bout you in ways maybe I shouldn’t have. But uh-“
“Travis.” You said louder, and he actually stopped talking. You could hear how his breathing got slightly faster as he realized what he had said. “I didn’t mean me specifically, but… I guess I still got my answer.” You let out a nervous chuckle as your thighs pressed together on your bed, the reality of Travis reciprocating how you felt making your whole body feel hot. Strangely, it also made you relax, the guilt starting to lessen.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. Holy shit, I didn’t mean – oh God.” He took a deep breath, his heart beating wildly like it wanted to rip out of his chest and hide under his bed. “Just… forget I said anythin'. That was creepy, I don’t know why I said all that. Stupid mouth-“
“Travis, Stop.” You smiled at his nervous recovery attempt. “It’s fine. You’re not stupid.”
He let himself fall on his back as he buried a hand in his hair. “I feel awful.”
You giggled softly. “Don’t, really. I… get it.”
His brows furrowed and his mouth turned into that little frown he gets when he’s confused. “You get it?”
“Yeah.”
“What do you mean ‘you get it’?”
You bit the inside of your cheek before you decided to just go for it. “I was talking about you.”
He frowned even more. “Okay. Now I don’t get it.”
You let out a nervous huff. “God, Trav. Earlier. The person I was thinking about.”
He simply nodded, even though absolutely no wires were touching in his brain. “What about ‘em?”
“I was talking about you! I keep thinking about you!” You said, a little frustrated from having to so plainly explain it to him. You closed your eyes forcefully, holding your breath.
“Oh.” The wires finally touched. His eyes went wide and his mouth formed an ‘o’ shape.
The silence was deafening as you uncomfortably shifted on your bed. After a few moments, you spoke, unable to tolerate it anymore. “Now is not the time for you to shut up.” But the joke landed flat. “Please. Say something.”
He let out a breath before speaking. “I… guess I wasn’t wrong.”
Now it was your turn to frown in confusion. “What?”
“I do find it hot,” he said, his voice dipping into that lower register that seemed to throw accelerant on the fire burning between your legs.
“Travis.” Your breathing grew ragged.
“And I kinda wanna hear you talk about it more.” His own breathing wasn’t normal either. His hand twitched from its resting place on the soft give of his stomach.
A breathless laugh escaped you. “I… can’t,” you said shyly as you felt a heated blush travel all over your skin.
“Because you don’t want to, or because you’re scared?”
“I’m scared.”
“Why?”
“You’re my friend and what if it’s weird-“
“Angel.”
Fuck, that wasn’t fair. The way the nickname fell so easily from his lips did things to you that were highly inconvenient and that did not help how hot and extremely bothered you felt.
He spoke again, softer. “You don’t have to, ‘kay? I just want you to be comfortable. But you’ve been a little off lately and you said how frustrated you felt and I just think that maybe it could help you, no?”
“Yeah, I guess.” You laughed a bit awkwardly. “Jeez, I feel like we’re back on that self-help forum helping each other out with our struggles, ‘cept this is way different.”
He chuckled with you. “Let me help, then.”
He sounded so soft and caring and entirely like him that you gave in. You repositioned yourself on your pillows, getting a bit more comfortable, as he pushed himself up to rest back against his headboard. I’ll just talk about it, no big deal, you told yourself.
“It uh… started when you sent me a voice message and you were getting out of the gym, so you were like huffing and puffing? And I realized that I liked how your voice sounded. I don’t know, is that weird?” You laughed, simultaneously embarrassed and relieved to finally be admitting it.
He grinned at the sound of your laughter. “Nah, not weird. And how did it make you feel?”
You swallowed thickly, thinking back to that night. You could feel your arousal pooling in your underwear at the thought of him all sweaty and strong and panting. You didn’t even know what he looked like and he had that effect on you. “Just… hot. All over. And… turned on.”
“Mm… yeah?” He could feel his cock chubbing up in his sweatpants. “And now, when you get in the mood… you can’t stop thinkin’ about that?”
Your hand found your bare thigh past the hem of your sleep shorts. “Yeah.”
He hummed, a sound that coaxed your legs to fall slightly open. “So you like the sound of my voice?” Even with how soft and – let’s face it – sexy he was being, the question came out a little disbelieving, like he couldn’t fathom that, for once, maybe someone actually found his talking attractive and not annoying.
You nodded before realizing he couldn’t see you. “Yeah, Trav. I do.”
“Shit, that’s… hot. Damn. Um… what do you think about?”
You whimpered slightly at the question, your hand cupping your still clothed core. You wanted to tell him all the dirty thoughts you had been having, but everything got stuck in your throat. “Um, I don’t know if I can say it.”
“W-want me to keep talkin’? I can say things I’m thinkin' about and if you like ‘em or not you tell me. How does that sound?” He asked gently, but noticeably getting breathless.
“Yeah, sounds good. Please.”
“Huh- fuck. Okay.” His fingers splayed on his belly as the very tip of them touched the waistband of his sweats. “How about… that I’m thinkin' about being over there right now?”
You let out a soft sigh, your eyes closing as you rolled your hips gently against your hand. “Mhm.”
He bit his bottom lip before continuing. “Maybe we would have gone out to dinner, or to watch a nice movie, and you’d have invited me back up to your place. I’d watch you as you’d lead me toward your room.”
The way he started narrating this like it wasn’t just sex but like it was the end of a successful date gave you butterflies. You smiled and let out a soft huff. “You’re so fucking cute.”
He chuckled a bit. “Let me get there. I’m paintin’ the scene, Angel,” He playfully reprimanded before continuing. “So, as I was sayin’ before someone interrupted me, I’d follow you inside your room while I was holdin’ your hand. I’d probably say ‘hi’ to Sergio on the way there.”
You giggled and it made him grin like an idiot.
“We’d close the door and I’d step really close to you, pressin’ you back against it.”
You sighed once more, your thighs pressing together as your hand started applying more pressure on your core. “Would you kiss me?”
Travis let out a shuddering breath as his hand grazed over his tented crotch. “Of course I would. S’all I can think about… I wanna know what you taste like. Your lips. Your skin. I’d trail down your neck while I’d touch you everywhere.”
“Fuck, Trav.” You gasped, your hands quickly hooking in the waistband of your shorts to take them off.
“Too much?” He asked, worried.
“N-no. Keep going, please.” You reassured, your hand finding the wet patch over your pussy.
“O-okay. I’d… take off your clothes slowly, lookin’ at you after every item fell off. I’d lay you down on your bed and I’d cover your body with mine.”
He didn’t even know what you looked like, but still, he had fantasized about it more times than he could count. He had imagined different body types, different colors and textures, and it always worked for him as long as it was your sweet voice that went with it.
He started putting pressure on his painfully hard cock, his mind still disbelieving that he was doing this, talking dirty to you, and that you were enjoying it. “I’d probably kiss you for way too long, grindin’ against you, before I’d… go down on you. Fuck, Angel. Please, tell me you’d let me taste you.”
You moaned as you finally plunged your hand beneath your panties and made contact with your swollen and slick pussy, your fingers expertly circling your clit just the way you like. “F-fuck, yes. You could… taste me, Trav.”
The groan that left his mouth let you hear just how turned on and desperate he felt. “O-oh God. Are you… touchin' yourself right now?”
“Mhmm…” You whined pathetically.
“Talk to me, baby. Tell me how it feels. Need to hear you right now.” His hand was now fully wrapped around the base of his thick cock, his sweatpants lowered just enough down his thighs to give him access.
His voice was steady, but you could tell he felt a bit insecure. It made you want to show him he was doing a good job.
You spoke through moans and soft whines as you started to circle your entrance, gathering your arousal on your fingers. “I’m… so wet, Travis. You’re… making me like this.”
He moaned in response, his hand starting to messily stroke up and down his shaft, smearing the precum collecting at the head and making it slick. “Holy shit. That’s… so fuckin’ hot. Oh my god. This is crazy. I… really wish I could taste you right now. Bet you taste so fuckin’ sweet, I just wanna bury my face between your legs and stay there while you pull on my hair, beggin’ me not to stop as you come on my tongue.”
The mental image he just conjured in your mind made your eyes roll back as you fucked yourself with your fingers, your other hand joining the fun by starting to stimulate your clit after you had put the phone on speaker to lay it down on your chest. “Oh, baby…” You whined. “I’d wanna… taste you too. Maybe I could, uh… ride your face while I – uh… fuck.“ You cut yourself off before you could say how much you wanted to suck him off, feeling embarrassed, even though you were practically having phone sex with him.
His hips bucked up, fucking his fist as he kept stroking it because of how stupidly horny you were making him. “Jesus, yes. Fuck, Angel, I wouldn’t last. I’m so fuckin’ close right now.”
“Me too, s-so close. Travis.” You moaned his name in bliss as the knot that was steadily building in your belly was starting to crest. You could feel how desperately your body – and your mind – needed the release, your legs twitching and shaking.
“Come on, babe. Give it to me. Come for me, wanna hear you fall apart. Please, Angel.” He was babbling – almost incoherent – his own edge starting to give way under his feet, ready to fall as soon as you did.
“I’m… com-“ The coil finally snapped in a wave of liquid pleasure – or it might have been more accurate to describe it as a tsunami – the intensity of it something you had never experienced before. It crashed through the weeks of tension and need that had accumulated in your limbs, loosening everything up as it ebbed and flowed. You didn’t even realize how loudly you had moaned Travis’ name until the sounds of his own moans and your name on his lips reached your ears through the phone.
“That’s it – oh my God, you’re so fuckin’ hot. I’m right there with you, fuuuuck.” He spilled all over his hand, some of his spend coating the coarse hair at the base of his cock and the softer ones of his happy trail. He kept stroking himself lazily even after his orgasm stopped, enjoying the sensitiveness.
You both stayed silent for a little while after, listening to each other’s breathing through the call. Honestly, you didn’t know what to say after getting the most world-shattering orgasm of your life from having phone sex. With a still faceless guy. That you didn’t even know worked where.
“Um…” You started, slightly awkward but determined to not let things get weird. “T-thank you for that. T’was… really good.” A soft laugh escaped you.
He chuckled with you as he finished cleaning himself up with tissues before throwing them in the trash. “Don’t thank me. It was… I mean, I profited from it too, obviously. Jesus…” He buried his hand in his hair as he laid back against his headboard. “You sounded so good. And I’m sober so I was like, really aware of it, and I could pay attention to it, and fuck…” his cock twitched again inside the reinstalled prison of his sweatpants as he thought about how you had sounded a few minutes earlier.
You pulled your fluffy blanket over yourself to hide your cooling skin. You laughed softly at how out of pocket the ‘sober’ comment felt. “Of course you’re sober. You’ve woken up like 2 hours ago.”
He chuckled but it was slightly strained. “No, I know. S’just… I’ve never actually, like… had sex while sober before. Not that I think we just had sex together or anythin’! But it was kind of the closest I’ve been to an actual sober sexual experience. I know it’s kinda weird, but uh… yeah. Thank you for that.”
Your arms started to feel like jelly at his quiet confession, and in that moment, it felt like he was handing you a part of him so fragile that all you wanted to do was to cradle him inside the palm of your hand and protect him at all costs. “Oh, I didn’t know that Trav. And I mean, phone sex is like, a thing. Which is what we did. I think. But we can not call it that if it makes you uncomfortable. Anyway, thanks for trusting me with that.”
He hummed before speaking. “R-right, phone sex. That’s what it was.” He wanted so much to see you in the afterglow of it all, especially now that he had admitted one of his secrets and that you hadn’t laughed at him. But he stopped himself from asking to see you, because that was what you both always did. What it was supposed to be like from the very beginning of your friendship. Anonymous. But now, with how he knew what his name sounded like coming from your mouth as you surrendered to pleasure, it was getting harder to pretend like he still wanted that.
He paused before he kept speaking. “It’s getting’ late, huh? I should let you get some sleep.”
You sighed, nuzzling yourself in your blanket. The relief from admitting your fantasies and finally releasing so much pent-up sexual tension hit you hard and made you sleepy incredibly quickly. “Yeah, okay. I think I’m gonna pass out in like three seconds.” You chuckled lazily.
Hearing you like that, all soft and pliant, tugged at something inside his chest. “Good. You uh… have a good night, Angel.”
“Good night, Trav. And thank you, again.”
“Don’t mention it. Sleep well.”
And with that, your phone hit your pillow as you drifted to sleep mere moments later.
****
Surprisingly enough, the next few days after that were like nothing had changed between the two of you. You still called each other way too much, and you laughed at dumb stuff together, and you had silly conversations that felt deep but really weren’t. Not that any of you cared about that.
“I’m telling you, Trav. I was waiting at a red light, and I saw the tree and it had no leaves, so I could see all the branches. And I thought to myself ‘woah, it looks like an upside-down lung’. And then I realized, trees are literally the lungs of the world!”
“Ohhh ‘cause of photosynthesis and shit? Damn… that’s kinda cool. You think they ever get breathless?”
“Heh, I don’t think that’s how it works. Oh! Hang on, my dad’s calling me.”
Your dad had called you because he had to take a business trip to your town, which was about three hours away from where he lived. He hated hotels so he had asked you if he could stay the night at your place. You had agreed on the condition that he understood that he was going to have to sleep on your couch. “No problem, Pickle. Just excited to see my daughter.”
The day that he was supposed to arrive at your place was your day off. It was the afternoon, and you were cleaning up your apartment to at least try to appear like you were a decent human being, when your phone rang.
The screen showed ‘Travis’ and you picked it up with a frown. He’s supposed to be sleeping.
“Hey, Trav. You okay?”
His voice came through low and rough. “I woke up and now I can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout you.”
Your breath hitched as you felt heat pool low in your belly. “Oh, really? Poor baby…”
The phone sex had now slipped into the whole dynamic of your relationship, another piece of the puzzle that seemed to fit a little to seemlessly. It was just casual. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself.
He groaned and you could hear the faint sound of slicked skin being stroked. You could literally feel yourself soaking your underwear. He spoke again, his voice sounding completely wrecked. “Fuck, Angel. I keep thinkin’ about you ridin’ me, takin’ whatever you need from me while I tell you how fuckin’ beautiful you look. I want your ass bouncin’ on me while your tits are bouncin’ in my face. Fuuuck…”
As he was talking, you stopped what you were doing to strip your leggings and kneel on the couch to start touching yourself, holding yourself up on the back of it as if you were riding him. You moaned at his words as you plunged your fingers inside your wet cunt, your hips grinding against your hand. “Bet you’d feel so good deep inside me, Trav. I’d keep grinding on you ‘til I’d come so hard all around your cock, baby.”
He shuddered as his release crashed over him too easily, like he had been so worked up that the sound of you needing him too was enough to bring him to his peak. Warm ropes of cum painted the soft give of his belly as it tensed from his orgasm. He finally took a deep breath as his tummy relaxed, the endorphins starting to loosen his limbs. “Holy shit, Angel… Made such a fuckin’ mess for you.”
The image came to you like a revelation – you pulling him out of your sopping pussy so he comes all over himself, just so you can then settle between his knees and lick it all off of him before taking his spent and oversensitive shaft into your mouth and tasting yourself. It had you clenching around your fingers as you came with a loud cry. “Fuck, Travis!”
You collapsed forward against the back of the couch before sitting down on the cushions, panting softly.
He chuckled lazily. “Oh hi, by the way.”
You laughed with him. “Well, weren’t you a little desperate, huh?”
He scratched his jaw, his fingers nails catching on the slight stubble there. “Only for you, Angel. Literally couldn’t go back to sleep. And I knew you weren’t workin’, so…” It seemed to hit him then. “Oh, did I interrupt you doin’ somethin’? I’m really sorry if I did, I wasn’t thinkin’ clearly-”
You cut him off. “Stop, Travis. You’re fine. I was just doing some cleaning because my dad is coming for the night. Nothing too important.”
He let out a breath of relief. “Right! Your dad. Are you excited about it?”
You smiled as you got up and picked up your leggings to head to the bathroom. “Yeah, I am! Haven’t seen him in a while since moving out.”
He yawned, but you knew it wasn’t because he thought you were boring. It was just a time where he was usually asleep and now that you had helped him get off, exhaustion was starting to pull him back under. “That’s good then, you can do a little catch up.”
“Mhm. And you should catch up on some sleep, mister. ‘Fore you go to work.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He yawned again. “Just like hearing your voice.”
You melted slightly, your hand pausing around the edge of your shower curtain as you felt your stomach flutter with that unnamed feeling you both loved and tried to ignore. “Me too, Trav… Now try and get some sleep.”
“Night, Angel.”
“Night.” It was so easy for him to call you nicknames outside of your sexual activities, but it still felt awkward for you. Not because you didn’t want to, but because you weren’t sure you had the right to. And because you weren’t sure you’d be able to keep it casual then.
****
“You still got the tools I gave you when you moved here?” Your dad said, looking under your kitchen sink.
Your face scrunched up. Technically, yes. You still had them. But they were in a storage unit with a bunch of stuff that hadn’t fit in your apartment when you had moved here. Your dad had pulled you into a hug when he had first arrived and immediately spotted the leaking faucet over your shoulder. He had jumped into his ‘helpful dad’ persona quite quickly after that.
“Think I left them at the storage unit,” you said, as if it had been an accident when that happened. Truth is, you had no intention of fixing stuff around your place if you could either call your landlord or a handyman about it.
He gave you a disapproving look. “Then let’s go get ‘em, Pickle,” he said, already picking up his keys.
“Ugh Dad… Can’t we just stay in and watch a movie or something?”
“Come on. Just a quick drive, and then you’ll thank me when you won’t hear that awful dripping sound all the time.”
You sighed and gave in.
The drive over to the storage facility was surprisingly fun as you and your dad sung some classic rock tunes he used to make you listen to when you were just a kid. The windows were rolled down, the wind messing up your hair slightly, but it felt so good you didn’t care.
Once you arrived at your destination, you both got out of the car and headed toward the glass doors of the facility. The gray building gave you slight goosebumps – or maybe it was the humidity still clinging to the air from the small bit of rain that fell earlier. The asphalt was still dark and wet from it.
Your phone pinged as you walked.
Travis : How’s it going with your dad? :)
You typed up a reply as your dad opened the glass door for you.
You : Going well! We’re picking something up
You pressed send as you took in the large entrance, still very grayish white and industrial looking. About a few seconds later, you heard a buzzing sound come from the front desk.
Your dad spoke up as he saw the elevator. “What floor is it on?”
You took out the key and looked at the number on it. “It’s down to sub-level 2, I think-“
“Oh! Hey! I didn’t hear you guys come in. My bad, I was in the back.” The employee rounded the corner of the front desk, overgrown bleached hair bouncing a little as he jogged to reach you and your dad.
You stared at him completely frozen. You’d recognize that voice anywhere. How could you not, really? You had heard him talk, laugh, cry (almost) and moan for Christ’s sake. Your eyes immediately took in his face, the way his hazel eyes were soft and looked a little surprised to see customers. You observed how he seemed to have freckles and moles everywhere, how his stubble looked just perfect to give him that slightly unpolished look that fit him so well. Your gaze went down to his neck and the ‘Howdy’ tattoo etched there, shitty and scratchy like he had once described over the phone when he had gone in detail about his experience in prison. His voice cut back in through the ringing in your ears as your ogling reached the ‘Atchison Self-storage’ jacket he had on.
“…You guys coming to see your unit?” He looked at the tag attached to the key in your hand. “Sub-level 2, huh? My favorite. I can totally show you guys down there. I mean, I work here and even I get lost some time.”
He gave you a soft smile, and it made you clear your throat as a knot of anxiety immediately grew through your insides. You should have played it off. You should have denied his help and pretended like you hadn’t recognized the voice of the man you had accidentally started falling for. But the word was out of your mouth before you could stop it – a tell-tale sign his spontaneity was slowly influencing you after months of friendship.
“Travis?”
****
A/N : I'm sorryyyyyy for the cliffhanger hehehe should I write a part 2?
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