#teaching journal

[nowthatswhaticallhistory]

Today I had a conversation with my parents about affirmative action and entering my first year of teaching.

They question the goals and standards used for special education. I tried to explain working in developing student centered curriculum, meeting the students where they're at and working on their individual goal.

I know I'd we do distance learning I'll do my best to call each student for at least one hour for individual time. Which will be at least 25% of my time.

I told my dad that all I cab do to prepare is know there are unexpected variables and trust that things will be mostly okay if I try my best.

[enjoythemoment2984]

Teaching Journal 1

I got some of my textbooks and am looking around my room and finally planning in more detail.  I am so excited to start teaching!!  I am exactly where I want to be, doing 100% what I want to do.  It makes me so happy and excited.  I hope my passion can transfer to at least a couple of my students.  I just love school!

[cracked-egg]

Twas the night before school starts

Had a 5hr energy then went to the TFA office to print and plan. I forgot how potent those little suckers are. Ended up way too caffeinated and was shaking so much I couldn’t cut anything out or type. Made a Walmart run and am going to eat a bit so that I can come down a little and finish my work. Students come TOMORROW.

[alexaskhope]

TJ (Teaching Journal) #1: My First Full Week

For the first week at my school, I observed multiple different classes, including classes that I would end up teaching by the start of my second week (which I have completed). 

I teach seven different classes throughout the week, alternating classes depending on the day of the week. The curriculum for each class is organized by week for kindergarten and by day for more advanced classes. But because of a tight timetable, I want to start creating detailed timetable lesson plans for my afternoon classes. 

Each class uses "stickers" as a motivational tool. The students receive stickers for positive behavior and the completion of their work, while bad behavior leads to stickers being taken away. This extrinsic motivation seems to work, however it does little to motivate and challenge older students who need established intrinsic motivation. 

Involving parents in bad behavior is the very last resort for the school and is avoided at all cost. I do not see this as an option and will continue to research more positive reinforcement strategies. 

Kindergarten

My kindergarten class has been my most challenging experience so far. I only teach three girls, but the small number and close connection causes them to mirror each other's bad behavior and resent each other when one student does their work and is praised. They love to speak negatively about me in Korean, and push me to see when I will lose my temper. I have not done so though, and I only become quite forceful in my demeanor when their actions could harm themselves or another student. Stickers are gained and taken away according to positive and negative behavior. I, however, may need to be even more stern than I have been. This will cause more issues at first, but I must adjust now instead of later. It is early in the class, and I need to make these observations and decisions now before these bad behaviors become habits.

I am trying to stay positive, but I find myself tiring quickly. This makes it difficult to praise energetically and stay disconnected from the continuous bad behavior. I have been reading numerous articles on positive reinforcement and will continue to research to find the best strategy to give my students the structure and safety they need.

[whatshouldwecallstudent-teaching]

Thinking About Tracking

I've been thinking a lot about tracking, lately. Being in two classrooms right now, one considered "struggling" students and one "pre-AP" so, elite students, it's really weird. I've been designing lessons for both, and when it comes down to it, from what I've learned in my own program - is there really a difference between what these kids should be learning?

I designed a lesson for the pre-AP class, and my CT was like "this isn't going to be challenging enough." And that bothered me, because I thought it was plenty challenging. The lesson itself was about picking a book from the library, taking notes on its content, understanding why you picked it and whether it works for you. Just engaging in thinking while you're reading, really. Something important, something I find challenging, even now as an adult reader.

And then I realized, it's not that it's not challenging, it's that they wouldn't find it challenging. There's a key difference. These kids haven't been taught to do this in a way that is challenging - they haven't been taught that this kind of thinking is valuable. And that's a bummer. I feel like these kind of critical thinking questions, the lessons that demand students think hard and do their best, can exist outside of tracking.

I guess the reason that I'm thinking about this is because I've always been pro-tracking. I grew up in advanced classes, I took all of the AP and IB tests. I graduated high school with an IB diploma. But why? What did I really learn? I didn't learn how to annotate in high school, arguably one of the most important thinking-while-you're-reading skills. I didn't learn how to think through problems. I didn't learn anything about social action. I learned how to take the AP and IB tests.

And that is a shame.

[whatshouldwecallstudent-teaching]

Teaching Video Tres

Third Teaching Video is done. Hoorah! I put it all together this time, and I was pretty happy with it. I definitely look in control of the class, and although I don't know all of the students, they all seem to connect with me and be happy to share their stuff.

The lesson was the 6 word memoir lesson that I wrote a little bit about last week. In going over the video, I did notice a few things that I would have changed about my teaching.

First, I didn't save time at the end for students to share their writing. I think that that would have been a nice touch to the assignment. I also wish that I had asked Ms. San Miguel ahead of time how she would be grading this so it didn't seem so off the cuff.

I also noticed one table in the corner that I talked to a little bit, but not as much as I could have. They seemed quiet and disengaged for the first half, and when they finally started to participate, I didn't really give them all of my attention, and that was mean.

I did try to focus on specific feedback for students though, and that went well. One student showed me her writing, and I said that I liked it because the punctuation surprised me. I don't remember what she'd written, but she used a colon and the word after it was like, woah. Good job. I liked teaching this lesson a lot and I think that the students enjoyed it. More time is usually what I ask for with lessons, and again, with more time I think it could have been even cooler. I feel like I'm often too hard on myself. This lesson went amazing. I loved it. It was super fun. I give in.

[whatshouldwecallstudent-teaching]

Planning Unit Three

The critical inquiry unit is honestly the one I've been dreading this entire semester. It's not literature. It's not a book or a poem that I can analyze and help kids analyze and try to make sense of. It's real life making sense of, which is something I'm not that great at already, and teaching other people how to do it sounds hard. I think that's the hardest part, is telling kids to find an issue that they're passionate about and try to change it, because I've never done that.

And then I realized that I had. Almost a year ago, I applied to this program because I was tired of how education was working and I wanted to do something different, and that's what we're learning and I am doing my best to change something in my community. I read a lot about it and I write a lot about it, and I make this blog with pictures that are funny sometimes because I want to change things. This blog is my community action. I do have something to share after all.

As far as reading Smagorinsky, the thought of planning a year just went from woah to WOAH.

It was already scary. It's still scary. It's more and less scary at the same time. The daily grind of planning sounds bad and repetitive and hard, but when I think about my students and my class as individuals and planning for them (especially with the Katie Wood Ray I've been reading in mind) sounds better. It sounds fun. I'm not planning a year to get robots to work. I'm planning a year for people that I need to grow a little bit.

It'll be fun.

[whatshouldwecallstudent-teaching]

Teaching Videos

So, I'm super excited to see everyone's teaching videos. After finishing mine, I realized, among other things, that my face is weird and I suck. But, seeing how everyone else reacts to videotapes of their own teaching certainly makes me feel a little better.

Really though, I actually wasn't that bad. I said the word "perfect" probably too many times, when I meant "tolerable," but that's just going to take work. I'm generally an optimist. Realism doesn't come naturally to me. 

One thing to keep in mind is that this is not my classroom. These are not my students. This is not my curriculum. It was really weird to walk into class on this particular day for a plethora of reasons (Kelly was there. She can attest.) and some things went poorly, but ohmygod it could have been so much worse. There was a moment that I had to stand up and leave the group of students I was teaching, and they all looked so exasperated. The one girl who was nice to me the whole time started beating her notebook on the floor in frustration. I guess they didn't realize the videocamera was still going, but yeah. It was weird to watch them candidly like that and realize they hated me in that moment. But it could have been worse.

I tell myself this, but it could have been better, too.