Got asked why I relate so hard to Robby when I'm not a doctor and my job isn't as hard as his.
Fuck all the way off with that shit.
Special Education shares so many similarities. Sure, it's not medicine, but we are taking care of people and helping them. And for those of us working in the self-contained schools that are focused on high support needs and behaviors, we may as well be on the floor of an ED as well. You have to be vigilant everywhere. Staff has been hurt in the hallways by a student in crisis who isn't even their student. And we LOVE so much that when these crises happen, it's so fucking upsetting. I had a student of mine have to be psyched and I sobbed in my car after work for a half hour before I could drive home.
Talk to me when your corporate job has your coworkers having seizures. When your job has ambulances there multiple times a week either because of medical or because of crisis. When you have to stay perfectly regulated and happy all fucking day.
Leave it at the door. That's what we're told because our students read our moods like a book and it will change the entire day for the worse if they sense you're not in a good mood. When you're having a student who's in a behavior, teetering on crisis, and even with PPE, you're being scratched, kicked, punched, bitten. Anything not nailed down is being thrown at you. And you HAVE TO ACT LIKE IT DOESN'T AFFECT YOU. Because you love this student with EVERYTHING you have and you want to help them even when you're fucking arms are dripping with blood and you can feel your face swelling but the support staff is already stretched thin because WE are also understaffed and they're on their way but you need to hold it together for just a few more minutes...
And stop fucking talking to educators like we don't have a fucking hard job. We get paid nothing and yet we continue to do this because we LOVE THOSE STUDENTS.
So yes. I fucking connected with Robby.
You want bees protecting the hive? I'll show you bees protecting the fucking hive.
i lowk feel terrible abt this bc it's not the way I taught AT ALL last year, and i think it's happening because... 1. i don't have my own classroom, and 2. i have bigger fish to fry in terms of lesson planning... but it's gd DAY TWO of school and i've already given up on trying to keep students off their phones for the entire period.
i do ask them to put their devices away and stay off of them for the majority of class (50 min)... but i realized. i actively do not want to confiscate anything... nor do i actually, and more importantly, pedagogically care if they need to check their phone for 1 minute every half hr. i also just have totally been allowing them to keep one headphone on from start to finish of class LOL which is. probably berry bad. but. i just can't bring myself to mind !!!!!!
and again i feel like this is shitty teaching of me bc all my peers from my cohort who started teaching this year too are like. EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE OFF THEIR DEVIDE FROM BEGINNING OF SCHOOL TO END (which frankly, for middle school, i totally understand) ... but i just. can't do it. i can't !!!!!
As a math teacher, I always get the question “why are we learning this?” And I hate it. Like fair question but why aren’t you asking the same of any other subject? Why do you learn about molecular geometry? There’s no particular reason for you to know the significance of Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet. No one is going to quiz you on the role of the US in WWII. And yet you learn all of those things because you understand that you are learning more than just that. You are learning how to test hypotheses, analyze texts, and connect moments from the past to the future.
Unlike last year where the kids were just jerks, kids this year are really really low as far as achievement and grade level.
I have no idea what they were taught in elementary school but they're just so far behind in everything. And it's not just intellectually they are emotionally like second graders.
I am honestly thinking about maybe next year studying to get certified in early childhood development because I don't feel like I'm equipped to teach kids at such a low level.
Being certified to teach 4th grade through 8th grade I assumed I will reach a happy medium of teaching maybe 6th grade.
But for the last 2 years the kids that are coming in are not at grade level. And it seems like each year they are lower and lower. I would really have to know how to teach and manage a class of first and second graders in order to be able to teach fourth grade.
Physically they are 4th graders but mentally, emotionally and behaviorally they're in first and second grade. I have one that can't count past 15. In another class, one couldn't tell me which number was bigger between 22 and 27.
It's to the point where the kids that are on the gifted and talented list are just regular 4th graders. There is nothing exceptional about them, the other kids are just that low.
As far as behavior, some days are good and some days are bad. I have spent so much time and just trying to get my 10th period(last class of the day) kids to stop talking long enough for me to even give them instructions, they are almost a week behind everyone else.
The other classes have good and bad days and one day I think I've got them corraled, they're quiet and they're listening and then the next day is chaos again.
I can't even get them to put their notebooks back in the same place every day. I can tell them where to put it. I can stand there and show them where to put it and the minute I move away they are putting it on a different shelf.
Today I gave the following instructions:
" get out your composition books. Turn to page 7.
Then you are going to copy down the I can statement from the board."
The I can statement said I can review this chapter by answering questions on page 79.
In EVERY SINGLE CLASS;
"Miss!!! We don't have a page 79 in our composition books"
"No. You are WRITING this on pg 7 of your composition book. The questions are on pg 79 of your TEXTBOOK."
(10 seconds later)
"Miss! I can't find page 79 in my composition book cuz you didn't tell us to number the pages that far!"
"No. I JUST SAID, you write on PAGE 7 of your composition book. The questions are on pg 79 of your TEXTBOOK."
"Miss!! I don't see any questions on page 7."
I am not kidding and I am not embellishing. I had to answer that question about 75 times in one day.
I'm guessing these kids were in preschool and kindergarten when covid hit and they never made it up. They are at such a deficit that I worry about them even being able to go through school and complete it. I see them getting frustrated around freshman year and just dropping out and never coming back.
oh, hey there! i love so many of your clone wars fics and i’ve followed you for a while. but - and bear with me, i might sound weird - i didn’t know you were a teacher? secondary school, is… i’m not american but it’s between junior and high school, i think?
as a sixteen year old who is thinking of doing a history degree, then that one one year course thing that equips you to teach, and then hoping to become a high school history/english teacher - do you have any advice, things you wish you’d known before going into teaching, or anything like that?
i think i’d love teaching - the only thing keeping me up at night is that i won’t be able to find a job because there are many teachers, that i won’t have any free time because i know the hours are long, and that i won’t be able to support myself financially/put any potential kids through schooling/save up enough money for basic expenses, due to stuff like the inflation rate and teachers being infamously not paid well— do you have any experience or advice regarding any or all of those things, if it wouldn’t be any trouble to share?
please feel free to ignore this - i know that adults are busy in general, but also, congrats on adopting your kid, i hope that y’all are doing great! - i just wanted to ask because i honestly don’t know any of my teachers well enough to ask them any of this, and my family isn’t exactly supportive of me wanting me to be a teacher (they…. don’t think i’ll be paid anything, but i don’t think that’s completely true!), so i just thought i’d ask. again though, no worries abt answering<3
okay whoa! just found this, but i'm going to attempt to answer now! truly don't know how i missed it. this may get a bit lengthy, so i'll put a cut.
first, thank you for your kind words! our bonus daughter is doing great. life looks drastically different now than it did a few months ago, but i can't imagine it any other way. <3
okay so -- yes! secondary school in america is generally 7-12th grade. i'm certified for all of those levels, but presently teach grade 8. which depending where you are living could be different for you. here, it's 13/14-year-olds.
i did things a bit unconventionally, but i honestly recommend it, now having the perspective of peers who did it 'the right way.' i studied something unrelated to education for my undergraduate (4-year degree). then, i did an alternative certificate program to get my certification. this means i graduated university in may 2020 and had my first classroom in august 2020. it was a bit much at once, but it worked well for my personality, because i'm a sink or swim person.
most of my co-workers studied education in undergrad, meaning they completed rotations of student teaching and spent four full years learning all of the things to know about teaching. which is a viable route!!! in my opinion, though, much of what is taught is not super applicable in a real life 2023 classroom so i'd just as well have all of that mandatory" material condensed into a one year online program i can zoom through while getting real experience. the big things to know about teaching is that you'll never know it all. in my opinion, there is no amount of training that will adequately prepare you because every child is different and every teacher is different. the only was to find your stride is to do it. you'll fail a little, for sure! but what better lesson to teach your students?
to address finding a job: i'm not sure where you're located and if this affects anything, but here in america i can tell you it is verrrry easy to find teaching jobs. there is such a shortage in education because so many veteran teachers who have been sticking it out for years have finally had enough and left the profession. i work at an incredible school with a ton of support, but we had three teachers leave us this year specifically to go into data analytics because they can work from home and have a more flexible schedule. of course, getting experience with children is valuable for your resume! but at least in the united states right now, the standard is sort of 'hey if you're certified and don't have a criminal record, we'll hire you!" which is...not great for education as a whole. but great for prospective teachers...i guess?
now for the money: hmm. so first off, let me say that teachers deserve to be paid more, without a shadow of a doubt. i think we all know this so i'll save the soapbox. but THAT BEING SAID. at least in my region, i make a livable wage. do i deserve more for the amount of work i am actually doing? yes! am i struggling financially? no. of course, there are other things to take into consideration such as the cost of living in your area. but to encourage you (and your parents possibly?): i am fully supporting my family right now on a salary. my husband just graduated from law school, so as soon as he passes his bar and gets a job (fingers crossed), things will change a little. but as of now, i am able to comfortably support myself, him, a toddler, and a teenager. i am a saver and don't waste money! but i have also not gotten to a point of misery or anywhere close.
however, it needs to be said, only you know your propensity for saving vs. spending. i have many friends who DO financially struggle because they live a different lifestyle than me. and that's okay! but it's a give and take. you have to decide what is the most important to YOU and go from there. for me, it's supporting my family and prioritising family experiences over things. for many, it's a nicer house or food or entertainment or whatever. and none of those things are bad!
in conclusion: teachers (at least in my area) are paid a livable amount. but it is absolutely not the amount they should be living on, in proportion to the work they do. remember: we are not paid for summer. many districts will spreadout paychecks to include the summer...but that's the money from the school year. NOT more money. i have mandatory trainings and symposiums i have to attend this summer and i'm not being paid for them. i spend hundreds of dollars on supplies/decorations/snack for students and i'm not being paid for them. i stay at the school until almost 7pm every night to watch my students' games and concerts and i'm not being paid for them. i could say no to many of these things! but i won't because i'm a good teacher who knows these things are *necessary.* it's a hard reality, though.
In my four years of high school I had approximately 32 different teachers. And even though the majority of them were smart people. The fact that only four of them I look up to and trusted tells me there is something wrong with the system. I have had teachers I’ve been afraid of, teachers who fall asleep in class and teachers who will get up and walk out of the classroom without explanation.
out of the four teachers I really trusted, only one of them saw and helped me work towards the future I wanted. One of them was the only teacher who would give me moments to myself when having an anxiety attack. The third was the first teacher ever, to remark on my talents outside of STEM classes to my parents and the last was and still is, the only teacher who curbed my social anxiety in the classroom.
4/32 teachers would equal 12.5% which means that only 12% of the adults who educated the ‘most important years of my life’ were ones I felt did a good job. That would register as an i on a report card because the number is so low they wouldn't bother writing it down.
think about that for a second, then think about the fact that the teaching system works based on seniority, not talent.
Back to messing up and pretending to be someone I'm not.
Back to acting like nothing bothers me or at least trying to.
The only things you need to do to be a teacher is have the ability to have no ego at all, to take having your ego crushed over and over again and to be able to mimic others to a T.
Where I work absolutely nothing I have done on my own has mattered. Any new idea I come up with is completely passed over. Anything I do that works in my classroom is ignored. Even things that bring higher grades are not praised.
Last year my co-teacher came from another district where basically all of their students were hand-picked to be there so there were no discipline problems, and none of the students were low in any field.
The complete opposite of our district.
She came in with the idea that kids did not need any kind of visual stimulation and the fourth graders could sit and write notes non-stop for 45 minutes every single day. There were no pictures to augment the notes, no clarifications of large words. They just dictated the notes.
And this went against every single professional development day I'd ever had in my life which said that students need visual cues, they need things explained to them, they need sound, they need repetition, they need movement, and above all they need fun.
But this was a lady who had a PhD and yet for some reason was teaching fourth grade and so I had to do everything she said even though I knew it was the worst thing for my students.
This year I don't make the lesson plans, I don't make the lessons, I don't make the copies, I literally do nothing but mimic what the other teachers do.
And now there is a 2nd year teacher who is the new darling because she took something that we have been doing for years put a slightly different spin on it claim to have invented herself and made a big presentation of it to some higher-ups who were here last week.
Now not only do I have to mimic her when I have 5 years seniority and no more about the subjects than she does) I now have to rearrange my room so it looks like hers.
But it is a job and it is a paycheck and I have to be very careful not to let my true feelings show or else I could get in big trouble.
On a semi-related note, my ADD pills finally came in and they are $400. When I called the pharmacy to find out what was going on they said they never got a new insurance card from me so basically I've been painful price for everything since January. So I called today and ordered the card and I only have 5 days to get it in or else I'm stuck paying the full price because after 5 days who knows what's going to happen to that prescription. It takes weeks and weeks and weeks for me to get the pills anyway and I'm really afraid that I won't get them at all if I don't pick them up within the 5 days.
The insurance sent me a link to where I was supposed to be able to download a card but in registering for the website I need my policy number...... which is located on the card......THAT I DON'T HAVE!!!!!
One last thing for the night while we're on the subject of teaching in Texas.
I have a fifth grader who cannot read or write. And apparently I am the only teacher who failed him.
He has been passed over and passed on by every single teacher he has ever had.
For the last 2 years his mom has appealed to two different principals at our school and neither one of them have taken the time to screen him or put his mom in touch with special services. services.
Only now, in the last 2 wks of 5th grade, is he finally being screened.
I am embarrassed and appalled at the way he and his mom were treated.
