#teamparenting

[fromthemouthsofbeards]

"What am I watching?" "It's like skeeball, but upside down. Blindfolded. With an octopus."

Overheard in my living room while pajamaing the toddler.

[eloquint]

Crazy Kids, Puzzled Parents and Mat Chats, Oh My!

"Fix my kid!"

We get that cry for help ALL THE TIME.

People walk into our martial arts academy with their kids, take a look around and say stuff like, "He needs an outlet, he’s out of control, do something!" or "She needs to learn to respect me and I heard martial arts is good for discipline."  I can’t imagine what it’s like for them when they’re wandering around aimlessly looking for help in other places.

What some people expect is a "quick fix" or "magic pill" to make all the problems and challenges with their kid go away.  This most certainly is not how we approach families who are seeking our help.  Instead, we believe that we need to work more like a "support system" for parents.  And we do this through having mat chats during all kids classes…every single day.

Something about that line, "Fix my kid" really hurts, and is difficult for me  to hear. What I’m really hearing is, "I need a quick fix for my kid!”

In some cases, parents desperately seek help and some just flat out avoid responsibility. I don’t know what the situation is from meeting the families for the first time, but I do try to understand and empathize with them on what they’ve already gone through. Some have tried absolutely everything while others clearly haven’t given themselves a chance to “fix” their own kid.

Any long term problem you may have is because it was influenced and/or allowed for a long period of time. To remedy this, the “fix” may take a lot longer than one expects. Sadly, most people don’t have the patience to put in this extra effort to correct the behavior and just avoid dealing with it all together.

As a mother of three, I wouldn’t dare judge another parent on why their kid is the way they are, but I will always offer a solution.  It’s really up to them on whether on not they take the advice and see if it works for them. I’m not an expert in parenting, but I think I’ve done a pretty good job so far. (^,^)  A big reason in how I was able to do this, was mainly because of my martial arts training.  Patience, problem solving, persistence and humor. I swear, having a sense of humor can really save your sanity.

The martial arts are about so much more than just techniques like kicking and punching. There are life lessons, skills and traits that can be developed along the way, with the right kind of guidance.

guid·ance

noun \ˈgī-dən(t)s\ : help or advice that tells you what to do : the act or process of guiding someone or something

There is “guiding" and then there is "forcing”.

Kids don’t take well to being forced.  In fact, no one does.

But when I had someone guide and mentor me, it was a whole new way of learning and taking action.  It was because I was driven on my own will to achieve, versus someone else making me do it.

After class, we’d sit and talk about the Powerful Word of the Month and tie it into class and what the kids can do outside of class.  For example, this month’s word is “PERSISTENCE”.  We define it, explain it, connect with it and apply it. Through the chats, the kids grasp a better understanding of what is expected out of them as students and as family members. They all get the chance to share their thoughts and ideas to the class and show what they learned that day.

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that more and more parents sit in through our classes from beginning to end, simply because they love hearing the mat chats for themselves! In addition to their children getting this valuable lesson, they also pick up a few things that help them as well as with guiding their kids with the same lessons we’ve been teaching during the mat chat.

As I float around the room and chat with the moms, dads and grandparents in the lobby, I always ask how their kids are doing at home. Simply because it matters to us. The training doesn’t stop once they leave the school, it continues long after they change out of uniform. We expect these kids to carry on the same discipline and respect that they learn on our mats and bring it with them wherever they go.

We can’t do this alone and we can’t just fix your kid. 

Bottom line is, anyone who tells you they can, is only offering you a short term solution to your long term problem.

We don’t work that way.  In fact, being a family owned and operated academy, we only know how to operate as a “family” when it comes to facing challenges.  When problems arise, we will address it and find a solution to correcting it as a team.  We’re all in this thing together. And there is no “quitting on people”.

"A burden shared is a burden halved.”

Unknown

We believe in working with the parents towards a goal for their kids.  In reality, we only have your kids for class a few days a week.  You’ve got them for the rest of your lives!  Wouldn’t you want to strengthen your ability to help them to the best of your ability, while they are still with you? Most would say, “Absolutely!” but they would still wander around lost and confused as to what to do.

"It may take a village to raise a child,

but it takes a great tribe to train warriors

to defend its children.”

IMPACT Martial Arts Academy

As a family of martial artists, we’ve created a tribal atmosphere within our school and it shows support amongst all students, teachers and guests. We can only achieve great results because we’re all on the same page.  How do we do this? It’s through syncing up with each other and communicating to each other in the direction we’re all trying to move in.

We leverage each other

to encourage action.

We advise each other

to encourage accountability.

We support each other

to encourage bravery.

Our tribe’s goal is to make every single person the best they can possibly be. The only way to achieve this is through doing this together, with the family, as part of the team.

It’s always more fun and rewarding that way too.