When I finally managed to write something after such a long time and got it even finished, comes the most dreadful step in the whole progress. Finding a beta reader.
I mean, finding a beta to specific fandom is already hard enough, but finding one who is willing to beta crossover? Next to impossible. I understand the beta readers want to be familiar with the fandom they're betaing for as it'll be easier to beta it (not to mention understand what is going on), but because of that, it's hard to find one who is willing to beta crossover fics. I especially find it unfortunate since I'm usually looking more technical beta (checking if my grammar is alright, did I spell everything right, are my tenses correct, etc.), because, despite the fact many people have told me my English is pretty good, I'm still not confident enough just to hit that 'post' button when it comes to my fics.
I can easily ramble like this on Tumblr or any other social platforms and not be that concerned if I ended up messing my text here and there, but when it comes to a fic it's a fully different story. I have this crippling anxiety if I end up posting unpolished, un-betaed fic online I'll be called out. (I've been called out in the past, which probably has made me like this.) I know these days people are more laidback about any technical errors as long as your text is at least readable. (At least in some platforms.) That change is a good thing since I remember how in the past you would get mercilessly called out if your fic's grammar wasn't top-notch. I know all that, yet even so...I can't help but worry. Each time I've written a fic, I just want someone, an English speaker to check my fic to make sure it's at least readable. Because while I could justify my grammar/spelling/etc. isn't top-notch because English isn't my mother tongue, I feel like at the end of the day it's just an excuse. I've studied English, so I should know basic grammar rules and other things. Yet even so...each time I look at the version the beta had sent to me, I'm surprised to see just how bad my English is even after all these years. Just like I'm surprised if they actually end up praising my skills. I mean, I've had my moments when my English writing is good, but I've also had my moments when it's just...not so good.
Because of that, I'm always dreading it a bit when I've to find a beta reader to my crossover fic. After all, it can take as much time as writing one fic, since finding a beta that suits your tastes isn't that easy. (Just like beta readers finding someone who suits their tastes.) But that doesn't mean I'll give up. After all, I already wrote that fic, and I'm proud of it. Even if anyone wouldn't read it (let's face it, not that many people read crossovers, especially if the other fandom is a very niche one), I still want to post it. And even if I know it would be more sensible to write just about one fandom, I can't help it if my heart beats for those crossover fandoms together.
Fingers crossed, I can find a beta to my crossover fic!
