Hey. I gotta confess something. Up until I was like... Idk, 16-17 y.o? I didn't know that you supposed to leave no space between a sentence and colon, semicolon, question, exclamation marks😭🙏
This is what I mean:
From Notes of the Holy Sovereign ch.2: Dinga | Maghan Many more instances in that chapter alone🫠✌️
Tbh I've realized this for a long time but I just pondered on how stupid I was😭🙏 How the fuck I didn't realize??? How tf I could read books and didn't realize this? You know, when I did notice, I usually waved it off as "ah, editorial error." Fuck was I on back then😭 Was my literacy skill that awful??? Is it still even now???
"Maybe you were influenced by your native language grammar?" NO😭 MY NATIVE LANGUAGES (Indonesian and Javanese) HAVE THE SAME GRAMMATICAL RULE OF LEAVING NO SPACE BETWEEN PUNCTUATION MARKS IN LATIN SCRIPT😭✌️But somehow I wrote incorrectly in my native languages too🥀
Genuinely how did I survive all this time with my own dumb ahh🥀
**pre note: Exclusively voice to text was used to write this.There will be errors in wording, spelling and grammar even while I complain about published.Novels having the same issues
I have huge issues with the fantasy and particularly fantasy romance.Novels that are being published.
On one hand I am over the moon.I am thrilled that the things that I used to be only able to get through fanfiction are now available for purchase on bookshelves. I have huge respect for the authors that have taken the time to write out these stories for consumption
But what the hell is going on in the editing and publishing industry?!?!
I am seeing books being put on the shelves.That should have had at least one if not three more rounds of editing done. I'm seeing book series where the titles are so consistent with other authors' works that it is almost impossible to tell who wrote something and it's almost impossible to tell which series are which!
I see cover art and in particular choice in cover font. That is so consistent that it's insane to me, that these are by different designers and different publishers.
And when you're actually reading the book looking through and finding missing quotation marks misspellings of main characters or side characters' names inconsistencies with descriptions of what type of stonework buildings are made out of inconsistencies with grammar and just overall things.That you would find in a first draft, and yet i'm paying twenty six dollars canadian for a paper back !!!
Not to mention longer series that have severe issues with red conning characters or dropped plot points or contradictory plot points that sort of a thing is one thing.But when i'm reading a book and i'm seeing them repeating information that was introduced earlier in the same book in a manner that suggests that the author forgot that they already introduced that information when I am seeing a character getting their name misspelled -
This is not just of writing issue.Especially seeing words that are used like on repeat if I see the same word repeated in a giant paragraph five or six times in a seven sentence paragraph that is not the author's problem that is an editor's problem.They should have caught that!!
Why is everything a court of something? Why are all of the main love interests?The same guy in a different hat?? Why are all of the main characters? The same basic brat type personality in roughly the same age range.???
And someone's gonna get on here and say, if you don't like it, don't read it and someone's gonna get on here and say they write it because it's what sells, and it's what's popular and they want to make money and someone's going to say all of these things, and you know what fuck you.
The type of why that i'm asking here is not something that has that basic of an answer.I am prompting screaming, begging and pleading for editors and publishers to stop rushing things in the name of capitalism and for authors to Please stop being so god damn formulaic
Summary: AU. Makoto Makimura goes by many names because it’s the only way she can survive. But there’s someone who refers to her with only one name. Yet, she knows if she’d been with that someone right after 1988, she wouldn’t be standing in the middle of the living room with blood all over her hands. Maybe she should’ve stayed in 1988 after she asked for all those heads.
“Those conversations you skip sleep for.”
- Unknown
•••
“I didn’t think we’d meet this way,” she said with her head down. “All that hard work, and I still ended up in trouble.”
She then sighed. “I wanted to find you and thank you. But never like this.” She swallowed and closed her eyes. “I- I’m sorry.”
Why’d he have to come into her life now?
She bit her lip hard, and looked him square in the eye. Her eyes glistened with silver. “Pl- please. Please leave me.”
The man who sat across from her, lazily sitting back in the chair, stopped short of finishing his cigarette.
He could only look at her.
She continued talking. “I don’t know your name…but, thank you. Thank you for being the last person who was ever here for me.” She stared down at her lap. But this time her shoulders shook. Her lips quivering.
The man she was talking to was still silent and stoic. His face hid his thoughts. He looked at the cigarette in his hand before leaning forward, putting it out in the ashtray before him.
“Goro.”
She looked up quickly, her eyes widening.
“Huh?”
“My name’s Goro.”
•••
A week before.
“You’ll be late for school!”
A mother ushered her son out of his room as he groggily rubbed at his eyes. “Mom,” He whined. “School starts in three hours. I’ll be there on time.”
She sighed and shook her head. “But you were late last time,” She reasoned. “That will n- never happen again.”
She rubbed her wrist, her thoughts inevitably thinking back to that day. “I want you to be your best self,” She whispered.
The son nodded. “I know, Mom.”
She smiled forcibly, moving around again. She grabbed her son’s backpack and walked to the kitchen to grab his bento box on the table.
Yet, her son didn’t move.
He frowned.
The mother then grabbed the house keys and turned around to face her son. “Akihiko?”
She held his things out to him, her right hand extended. “You have everything ready for school,” She said. “I’ll be off to work. But you know the drill. Don’t leave the house later than 7.”
He nodded, but he opened his mouth, as though he were about to say something. But he closed it. He opened his mouth again, but then closed it.
She frowned. “Aki?”
He didn’t make eye contact with his mother.
She walked forward, her face full of concern. Maybe even fear. She touched his forearm, slightly crouching down to his level (but not by much due to his burgeoning grow-spurt).
“Aki-bou?”
The son met his mother’s gaze and at that moment she could see the resemblance between the prepubescent and her late brother. Yet, the gaze was more innocent but…just as sad.
She ignored that thought and shook her son’s shoulder gently. “Aki-bou?”
“Mama,” He whispered. “D- did you really fall down the stairs?”
Without a beat she replied, “Yes. You know I’ve always been rather clumsy.”
She patted his shoulder and smiled. “I’m a little embarrassed about it.”
Akihiko’s shoulders relaxed some. “Ah, okay.”
He smiled and his mother smiled back.
“Let me know if you’re going over Fumiya-kun’s house,” She said straightening her posture. “I’ll be at the massage parlor until about three.”
“Okay.”
The mother smiled again and turned around. She walked to the door, but doubled back. “Oh, Aki,” She said. “If Fumiya-kun invites you over, please let Terasawa-san know to call your father instead of me.”
The son nodded respectfully. The mother gave another small smile and exited the house.
•••
The massage parlor had seen busier days but the regulars still showed, ensuring business and profit.
The receptionist looked at her phone but quickly focused her eyes on the door. “Makimura-san might take my phone away again,” She mumbled with an eye roll.
Yet, the receptionist’s eyes trailed to the phone again.
“Aia!”
The receptionist’s head shot up. “Makimura-buchou!” She said with a quick bow of her head.
The middle-aged woman gave her subordinate an apprehensive look. But she simply shook her head and said, “I’ve warned you about Kagome…”
Aia nodded. “I know. But he’s really a nice guy.”
“They all start out nice…” Makimura-san said. “But–“
Aia smiled. “Ah, Makimura-san. Tateyama-sama– I mean, Tateyama-san is a good husband. Not everyone is lucky like you.”
Despite Aia being a subordinate, Makimura-san still saw her as a friend or a niece. Even though she was lazy and chasing after the wrong guys, that didn’t necessarily mean she saw the college student as anything less.
But Makimura-san frowned at Aia’s words. She hadn’t caught herself in time and she was questioned.
“Makimura-san,” Aia said softly. “Did I say something wrong?”
She shook her head quickly, waving away the young girl’s words. “No, Aia. I- I’m just thinking about how I still need to get him a birthday gift. But I haven’t had the time.”
That was a partial lie.
Regardless, Aia’s whole face lit up as she jumped up and down, clapping her hands. “Makimura-san, I know where we can go.”
“Aia,” The masseuse said with a bit of resignation. “Please refer to me as Tateyama-san.“
Aia’s face sobered, the brightness gone. “Oh, okay.”
“At least at work,” Tateyama-san said, relenting. “Call me Makoto outside of work. Like, when we’re going shopping after we lock up.”
Aia’s face lit up again. “Okay, Tateyama-san”
•••
Makoto eyed the blazer with wonder. Despite being near her forties, past the age of bold and daring she couldn’t stop herself from grabbing the hanger.
She looked both ways, but the floor workers and sales team were tending to other shoppers, or simply at the check-out counter with facial expressions of disinterest and boredom.
Therefore, they simply weren’t thinking about her.
So, she walked inside one of the changing stalls.
She wasn’t going to take off any clothing since she was trying on a blazer. But she didn’t want to be seen.
Leaving the blazer unbuttoned she looked at herself in the mirror. She angled her body to one side, and then she struck a small pose with a hand on her hip.
“Makoto?” Aia called. “Where’d she go…?”
Makoto took off the blazer quickly and put it back on the hanger. She was about to hang it up on the back of the door so Ai wouldn’t see her bold choice of clothing. But she decided against it because for one, Aia wasn’t judgmental and…
Makoto wanted to buy the blazer.
As she opened the door, Aia turned around and smiled. “Makoto-san!”
The young girl had shopping bags hanging from both of her arms. Obviously she’d used up most of her paycheck.
But Makoto smiled at that because Aia truly represented what youth was. Even though she herself never experienced it properly. Aia was the epitome of young, dumb, and broke.
“Ooh!” Aia made a sound from her lips looking directly at the article of clothing Makoto held. “Are you planning on buying that?!”
Makoto didn’t say anything. But with Aia’s raised eyebrow she suddenly didn’t want to hold it anymore. Therefore, she shook her head. “No, Aia-chan.”
•••
She kept the blazer in the very back of the closet.
She was never going to wear it. She knew that. After all, a semi-working mother didn’t wear stuff like that. They wore unprinted polyester shirts consisting of earth tones, calf to ankle length skirts, and canvas shoes. When feeling dangerous, maybe a shoe with a 5 inch heel.
Not anything like the blazer hidden in her closet.
After Aia and her stopped by Smile Burger for a quick evening snack they parted ways. But instead of going home Makoto had turned around and went in the direction of where the avenue of clothing stores were located.
Her steps quickened as she neared the specific clothing store she’d visited about an hour ago. But when she opened up the stall door, the blazer was no longer there.
Huh? She looked over to the racks where the blazer had hung before she picked it out.
“Ready to check out?”
Makoto turned around and saw a woman holding the blazer in her hand. She set it down on the counter before opening her purse, fishing for her wallet.
Makoto’s breathing quickened. Briefly she closed her eyes. Without a second thought she walked over to the woman and asked, “Hello, um, do you really want that blazer?”
The woman frowned. “Excuse me?”
“No, I mean…” Makoto swallowed nervously, before grabbing a blazer made out of jean material from a nearby rack. “This suits your style more.”
The woman stopped frowning and took the blazer from her. The sales associate gave her a death glare as though she were trying to steal her sale. But Makoto gave her a look that she hoped conveyed that that’s not what she was trying to do at all.
The sales associate’s shoulders visibly relaxed, and Makoto gave another warm smile.
“You’re right,” The woman finally said with a grin. “This is more of my style.”
Makoto’s smile was a bit wider. The woman asked the sales associate, “Would it be too much trouble for you to put this back for me?”
If Makoto could cry at that moment she would have. But she would have given herself away if she had.
When I finally managed to write something after such a long time and got it even finished, comes the most dreadful step in the whole progress. Finding a beta reader.
I mean, finding a beta to specific fandom is already hard enough, but finding one who is willing to beta crossover? Next to impossible. I understand the beta readers want to be familiar with the fandom they're betaing for as it'll be easier to beta it (not to mention understand what is going on), but because of that, it's hard to find one who is willing to beta crossover fics. I especially find it unfortunate since I'm usually looking more technical beta (checking if my grammar is alright, did I spell everything right, are my tenses correct, etc.), because, despite the fact many people have told me my English is pretty good, I'm still not confident enough just to hit that 'post' button when it comes to my fics.
I can easily ramble like this on Tumblr or any other social platforms and not be that concerned if I ended up messing my text here and there, but when it comes to a fic it's a fully different story. I have this crippling anxiety if I end up posting unpolished, un-betaed fic online I'll be called out. (I've been called out in the past, which probably has made me like this.) I know these days people are more laidback about any technical errors as long as your text is at least readable. (At least in some platforms.) That change is a good thing since I remember how in the past you would get mercilessly called out if your fic's grammar wasn't top-notch. I know all that, yet even so...I can't help but worry. Each time I've written a fic, I just want someone, an English speaker to check my fic to make sure it's at least readable. Because while I could justify my grammar/spelling/etc. isn't top-notch because English isn't my mother tongue, I feel like at the end of the day it's just an excuse. I've studied English, so I should know basic grammar rules and other things. Yet even so...each time I look at the version the beta had sent to me, I'm surprised to see just how bad my English is even after all these years. Just like I'm surprised if they actually end up praising my skills. I mean, I've had my moments when my English writing is good, but I've also had my moments when it's just...not so good.
Because of that, I'm always dreading it a bit when I've to find a beta reader to my crossover fic. After all, it can take as much time as writing one fic, since finding a beta that suits your tastes isn't that easy. (Just like beta readers finding someone who suits their tastes.) But that doesn't mean I'll give up. After all, I already wrote that fic, and I'm proud of it. Even if anyone wouldn't read it (let's face it, not that many people read crossovers, especially if the other fandom is a very niche one), I still want to post it. And even if I know it would be more sensible to write just about one fandom, I can't help it if my heart beats for those crossover fandoms together.
Fingers crossed, I can find a beta to my crossover fic!
The first time Amy hugged him, it was a mistake. It wasn't the first (and wouldn't be the last) time he was mistaken as Sonic. Amy profusely apologized. Shadow wasn't mad, just a bit miffed but mostly Amuzed. Amy seemed to love Sonic a lot.
The second time was no accident. Her eyes teary as she wrapped her arms around him, "Shadow, I was so worried about you." It was warm. Her tears were warm too. When she let him go, she smiled. "I'm okay Amy."
It was easy to hug Amy. She was a very physical person. She loved hugging her friends. But thats not what Shadow meant. Shadow meant, being held by Amy in those breif moments, it was nice and easy. Amy knew how to comfort him.
