The-sand-and-stars-poem
Her fingers were a trickle on mine. Rain on a tempered roof where drops laced into my hands and squeezed tightly. Her eyes were always laughing.
They laughed at me, “Trust me.” They said.
I did. “Come... my love.” Said a gray rabbit hat, furry boots, and a tutu. Black, of course.
I followed the black lace tutu.
The music was loud.
Loud enough to drown my thoughts of anxiety. Put them in a blender. Make a joyous concoction of amusement bewilderment
repose and nerve-
-nervousness, anyway.
The drugs made me feel like the music was in my head. Someone banged drumsticks on my eardrums. My heart was a guitar, the strings it played were my blood and veins.
My hands covered my ears.
“Alexis!”
I felt candy beads against my wrists. Opened my closed eyes and there were Alexis’s, bright and sparkling like stars.
Smiling. “I feel really hot!” I screamed in music.
“You are really hot!” Her hands wrapped my wrists. Beads of sweat went down my temple. I wanted to wipe my forehead.
Her eyes never left mine. Our gaze was stuck like glue. Our hands wove together and she lifted them between us. “Do you trust me, Roe?”
I didn’t have to nod, my eyes said it all.
Our hands lit up like Edison’s first lightbulb. Tesla light coiled around it. Sparks constricting and coveting the union. Palm against palm. Heat passing through one to the other.
So hot...
“Here, I’m going to show you.” Her voice was now isolated from the music, like the bass dulled down so I could hear her speak each time. Sound isolation. All in my head.
Drumsticks in my eardrum.
“Trail your hand down.” She showed me herself, swooping her hand in an ocean wave motion on the side of her body. Light followed her trail. Glowing, existent light that trailed the flow her hand proposed.
Like a galaxy belt. That’s what her light looked like... or reminded me of. A galaxy belt.
You’re stars... you’re like stars.
My mouth made an O, formed the word Wow. “Do it.”
My hand slipped down, guided by hers. It swam in the ocean of air and trailed light, purple and dull gray.
“Use your heat.” She touched my fingertips and my hand exploded from the palm, purple fire swallowed up my hand.
She laughed in glee, mouth cracking so wide I saw every one of her teeth. I swung my hand, moving like poi, watching my flame. Watching my fire.
“Purple is my favorite color!” Alexis belted, though there was no need, if she whispered I could hear her.
Her lips smashed into mine, then. Tongue parted my lips and stole air from my throat. Inhaling. Take my breath.
My lips fell into hers, gratefully. Thankfully. Cosmos meeting my fire.
Hands around my waist. Hands around my shoulders. Hands around my face.
“You’re SO hot!”
I embraced her. Her boyfriend walked by us then. Everyone called him San Antonio. She snatched her boyfriend’s hand. And looked at me with stars.
“Do you want to come home with us?” She said. I wondered if I could evade this.
I don’t know, though...
I nodded a response. Nervousness crept it’s way up my spine. I’m not great at intimacy. I longed for it, though. I longed for it all the time.
Smashed on a dance floor Boy and girl on either side
I became a missing piece.
Everyone was leaving.
She’d squeeze the blood out of my fingers. Squeezed me tightly, like she already knew. She wouldn’t let me go. There was no way I’d break away from a vice grip that held me so tightly with promise.
San Antonio pushed through the crowd. He was tall, big, muscular. He had sandy blonde hair and sandy blonde scruff.
Not when another bumped into them, apologized- He had to regain his balance.
She let go to rub her boyfriend’s forearm, and kept pushing forward through the bodies. She trusted me to follow. She trusted me.
Another current pushed my arm and pushed me sideways at that moment. My saving grace.
My wishes made reality.
I followed the new current, or let it take me, rather. Watching as the old one took stars and sand the other way.
Watching. Watching.
Her grip him so... lovingly...
Until she knew. Until she realized.
An unspoken whisper Turned her head, spun around, and caught a glimpse of my sad apology- My eyes said, “I’m sorry,” but they could not make up for-
Broken heart eyes Before I was swept away and gone.