I’ve created Queer_Ink_Collective, a space for LGBTQ+ creators to share writing, art, and original work in a supportive, low-pressure environment.
Especially welcoming to character-driven stories, romance, emotional narratives, and creative experimentation. I want to really focus on support spaces for self expression and community sharing.
If you’ve been looking for a place to connect, share, or discover new voices, you’re warmly invited.
Join us here → https://www.tumblr.com/join/DvL-3K0O
So I’m writing a dragon story. I think it’s going to end up being like a sapphic Beauty and the Beast-type story. But, I’m trying to incorporate some other fantasy elements into it as well to give it some flavor. It was supposed to be a fun, lighthearted project and it’s already ending up emotionally heavier than I anticipated, even for a sapphic dragon romance story 😅 I’m having fun with it regardless, though.
I felt the deepest shame. I had caused chaos in my home. Like some disparate, wretched storm, I’d swept through Reush the moment I’d returned and seeded annihilation into their future. I was a plague. No better than a dragon.
To some small miracle, no one had been killed.
There were many, though, that had been wounded by the dispersed arrows that had aimed toward the creature. The scene had turned even more chaotic with the frenzy that happened once the dragon had gone. Some had turned towards rushing to help the wounded. Some were still raving mad like lunatics, hollering at anyone that would listen, especially Amar, saying how could he let this happen? Some turned towards me, demanding to know why she had addressed me. What I had done.
Amar tried to refocus the growing mob by sending some to carry the wounded to our infirm, and more to clean the mess of the mill that was left.
To the rest, Amar shouted, “Go home! Go home and embrace your loved ones! Whatever decision hangs over us can wait until tomorrow!”
My father, Castin, and I had shuffled to the cottage home, tension refusing to ease as they both glowered at me with unspoken accusations.
Capacia and Ellia made it back some time after nightfall.
“You’re alright!” Ellia said to all of us, sidling across the front room to fling her arms around me.
Capacia rushed to Castin and did the same.
“We’re fine,” Castin said, his gaze met mine from across the room. “We’re fine.”
My father stood silent against the hearth, arms crossed over his chest.
“What happened?!” Ellia asked, sensing the tension between us.
“Why don’t you ask your sister,” My father said, gruffly. He gestured out with his arm, throwing his frustration down on the table, “What in the hells happened, Yasmin? What did you do?”
Capacia looked around the room confused.
“I-I-“ I started. Words becoming lost.
“How are you even alive?” Castin asked. “Leck and his mates were lucky to come back injured. You haven’t a scratch on ye’!”
“I had help.” I said, “I contacted Averly. A professor of mine sent a prototype. An invention.” I looked around the room. “It was supposed to be a means to subdue it. I never meant to kill it— just— incapacitate it. If I could.”
“Gods of Kash, Yas!”
“”Ave ye’ lost yer damn mind?!”
“Do you ever think about anybody but yourself, Yasmin?!” Castin yelled, angrily. Accusingly. There was silence before I managed to say, “Castin, I- I didn’t mean to-“
Castin yanked himself away, “I need to get out of here.”
“Castin, I’m sorry.”
Without another word, he left. Capacia gave us all one single, uneasy look before she followed her son.
In the silence that followed, Ellia looked awkwardly from me and back to my father.
“-I’m glad you two are alrigh-“
“You have got to stop this, Yasmin,” My father cut in. “This constant death wish-“ His tone was brutal. It was layered with exhaustion. Years of it.
“This need ye’ ave to always have to just—implode! To sabotage yer life. To never be happy with anythin’. When I sent ye’ to Averly, I thought that that would help. I thought you could go see the world, see everything that’s out there, so ye’ wouldn’t feel so stuck. You couldn’t even last a season here. You went and found something reckless to throw yerself at the second ye’ got back here! And a fookin’ dragon, at that!”
“I was doing this for you and Ellia! For everyone! I thought I had an advantage that you didn’t have. I thought I could help.”
“Yea and look where we are now! Thanks to ye’ and yer stubborn head, Yasmin! Someone’s going to die for your foolishness!”
I had no words. Ellia looked at me with a look of deep empathy. She was the only one who didn’t seem livid with me. But I couldn’t look back at her. The tension between my father and I stung as it settled. The implication. The truth.
There was nowhere safe. I couldn’t talk my way out of this and I couldn’t lie to my loved ones anymore than I already had.
And there, waiting for me, was another threat. As soon as my mind opened itself.
Fiendish eyes came out of the dark.
A cold wind swept over my bare skin.
The feeling of my breath being stuck. Lost.
Like a tight noose was fastened around it.
“-That’s enough.” I could hear my father’s voice.
“You need to go and apologize to that boy. He waited for you. Hopin’ to see you for years. I’ve never seen a man be so patient, so understanding towards someone he cares for. And you ran off as soon as ye’ got the second to.”
I felt the deepest shame. I had caused chaos in my home. Like some disparate, wretched storm, I’d swept through Reush the moment I’d returned and seeded annihilation into their future. I was a plague. No better than a dragon.
I left out of our house and walked dutifully towards Castin’s.
My hand rapped their door.
Capacia opened it and immediately gave me a sad-looking smile. Pity. Which only served to fester the knot now sitting on my chest.
“Is Castin here?”
Capacia’s eyes dropped down, “He’s not, Yasmin. He left as soon as we got here. I think he needs some time.”
I sighed and cursed.
“Alright-“ I said after idling.
I turned to leave.
“Yasmin-“ Capacia said.
I turned back.
“Would you like to come inside? I can make us some tea.”
Capacia swung the door wide open and stepped away from the frame.
The two of us sat at their small table off the side of the kitchen in quiet. Capacia had poured us both a mug of tea and sat opposite me, hovering over her cup while it warmed her hands. They lived in a small wooden farm house. Smaller than our cottage, but cozy nonetheless. The kitchen was quaint. It had little bits of Capacia’s touch all around it; flowers, bits of color, small animal figurines in the nooks and small ledges. Their hearth was much smaller, and steadied a smaller flame. Instead, there candles all around that lit up the rest of the space.
I took a tentative sip of the hot liquid in front of me.
Capacia’s eyes looked so much like Castin’s. Honest and welcome. Endlessly warm. A lightened blue sky under sandy strands. Though Capacia’s now had strands of gray in the sand.
“My old husband was someone who was endlessly restless,” Capacia said suddenly, out of the quiet.
“He hardly knew what to do with himself, most of the time. I brought him here, shortly after Castin was born. I knew this was where I wanted Castin and I to be. I had hoped that Lucien would eventually come around. I’d hoped he’d see that this was what was best for his son. Something quiet. Simple. A real home.” Capacia sighed and looked up from her cup. Her eyes glittered. “I was asking too much of him.”
It felt strange. I couldn’t find the words sufficient enough to answer Capacia. Not then. Though, it seemed that Capacia wasn’t expecting such. Her eyes drifted off into the empty space of the kitchen, sifting through her own memories.
“I think you’d find that you are two of kind.”
“Castin probably wouldn’t think so. But if I to go back and do it all again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Lucien would give me Castin. Lucien would leave. Castin would grow up safe. Loved. And the rest of us would go on.”
I sipped from the steaming drink. It was floral and sweet like honey. It’s smell wafted up towards my face with an earthy aroma.
Castin had always hated his father. Hated. Year after year, Castin became more begrudging towards Lucien. The longer he stayed away, the longer that fray grew.
Until one year, he simply moved on.
He swore he’d never become him, though.
I couldn’t make that promise.
Not then and not now.
It seemed the only person in the world who wouldn’t hold that against me was the one across the table.
Cup of tea in hand.
Tired eyes.
A soft, knowing, content smile.
“I didn’t mean to-“ I stopped. “I don’t want to hurt Castin.”
Capacia reached across the table and took my hand.
I am looking to set up a community space for queer/LGBTQ+ authors geared towards offering a safe, supportive space to read and share work. It will be aimed specifically for, but not limited to, romance and NSFW writers. I have noticed that there has been a surprising absence in this kind of space, at least beyond blogs, kink-centered spaces, and unorganized erotica sites that don’t also tailor to safe and healthy sharing. If this is something you’d be interested in, please shoot me a comment and let me know. I’ll be posting a connect to the page in the near future.
I’ll be starting on Tumblr, and hopefully setting up a Discord space if there’s enough community support.
Edit: So I started a page called Queer_Ink_Collective.
Please check it out or message me if you have any questions or suggestions.
Little excerpt from a story I’m writing called Fogs and Fae, which I am also using to process heartbreak.
““ I had a dream about her. Last night. It wasn’t sexual or anything even remarkable. It was just me, finding her again, asking her let me in, and then just holding her.
It wasn’t anything more than that. No fighting. No bad feelings. It was just good. Just me finding her. My friend. My home. My favorite person.”
“I’d move mountains to have things be so simple. Just to feel that way again.”
I laughed half-heartedly, “Outside of my dreams, of course.”
Mad said nothing. She just listened. Brown eyes calm, and fixed.
“What a stupid wish.” My chuckle came from my stomach this time, more full. I had to hold myself to contain the aching hilarity of it all. “Knowing what I know now… what a stupid wish.”
I brushed dirt from my jeans and stood up. At the very least, I could give myself room to laugh at it all.
I felt something tug at me as I looked down. Mad had stopped my hand where it was. She looked up at me, dark eyes serious now. More serious than I’d ever seen them.
“What if you made a wish?”
At first, what she said didn’t register to me. Like, it was something so obvious and yet I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it at all. I hadn’t… had I?
My hand and body froze. Hand covering Madeline’s. My entire figure began to drift, taken away with the wind, then. Somewhere far, far away.
The night breeze was nothing but a cool, gentle blanket.
Addison-
Could I see Addison again?
Could I get to hold her again?
After an uncertain amount of time, I withdrew my hand.
“No. It’s not up to us to make decisions for other people. It’s not up to me-
If I was meant to be hers, I would be.”
And without another word, I went inside. Ready to leave the day behind. “
🪞 Abilene, Who Loved Like a Lullaby No One Finished Singing
She was always the soft one.
Not quiet like Rosalina.
Not fiery like Liliana.
Not sparkling like Petunia.
No—Abilene’s softness came from something holier.
Something sadder.
She folded her hands when she wanted to scream.
Apologized in advance for existing too fully.
Wrote prayers in her diary and underlined the ones she knew would never be answered.
She was the girl who carried other people’s heartbreaks like rosary beads.
Who said “I understand” too quickly.
Who forgave before the wound was named.
Her love was a candle left burning in a window long after the guests had gone.
A melody hummed into a scarf,
tucked away in a drawer where no one would hear it.
People mistook her for plain.
But they never saw her from the inside.
The golden faith in her silence.
The stubborn way she still believed in goodness—
even after Adam.
She loved him like scripture.
Read between his words like verses.
Believed, truly, that love meant sacrifice.
And when he left—
when he unlaced the ribbon she tied around her hope—
she didn’t scream.
She just folded the memory,
like a church bulletin after Sunday mass,
and placed it gently in her coat pocket.
Abilene was not fragile.
She was tender.
And there is a difference.
Because fragile things break.
But tender things bend,
weep,
mend.
She still sings.
Still walks barefoot in the sanctuary.
Still lights a candle for the girl she used to be.
The one who thought being good would be enough.
The one who gave her heart like communion bread,
and waited for someone to taste it kindly.
She is learning, now,
to save a piece for herself.
This is an NSFW excerpt of my Azula/Suki fanfic on AO3. I will post the link to the extended fic at the end of the post. This is 100% explicit.
Suki sat on the floor in the middle of the apartment. She sat with her legs crossed. The sun off the balcony streamed in through the open windows and wide glass doors, showering the room with light, leaving their bed in shadows. Suki stared blankly through the glass, catching the sun’s rays in her eyes. The sun…
She knew that by another name.
Suki’s mind was frozen. Suki’s mind was clear as the sky outside. She watched the clouds float by. Then in her reflection, she saw her eyes looking back, except they weren’t her eyes…
They were someone else’s.
A key twisted in the lock. She heard the click of the bolt and the door swung open with a swish. Whoever had walked in had stopped in the doorframe, the rustle of paper bags quieted as they did. “Suki?” Her girlfriend asked.
Suki caught herself blinking, the moment suddenly gone from her.
Azula moved over to crouch near her girlfriend, dropping the bags along the way. Suki turned her head. Azula’s sunglasses were atop her head, her face was flush and bright from being in the sun. She looked at Suki, concerned.
I know that face.
“Azula,” Suki said. It came out breathlessly.
The growing furrow on Azula’s brow deepened as her look of concern. Azula cupped her hands around Suki’s face, feeling her skin for temperature. “Are you alright?” She asked, unable to hide the worry in her voice.
Suki shook her head. Soul returning to its body.
“I’m fine,” She said, and her voice sounded normal again.
Normal Suki.
She grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and squeezed it.
“Did something happen?” Azula asked, insistent.
“No, it’s alright, Azula,” She gave her a small smile. She could tell Azula was not convinced but she helped lift her to her feet. She was in her casual clothes. Tight jeans and a black tank top with a black high heel. Her nails were painted with orange tips to match her bright orange lip gloss. She had a thin gold chain around her neck, with a dragon on it. Her eyeliner was cut like a dagger around bright hazel eyes. She looked radiant with the sun on her, like always. She looked dangerous.
“I brought in some food,” She said, rather sheepishly. It was sweet seeing her look shy and unsure, as she rarely looked that way to anyone other than Suki, “I figured we could make something tonight.”
“Okay,” Suki picked up the bags that were on the floor, not acknowledging that Azula did not actually know how to cook, and they both carried the groceries to the countertop.
*
Azula hadn’t pressed Suki any further, and after the two of them had made dinner; carbonara with squash and homemade garlic knots, Azula poured them both a glass of red wine while Suki did the dishes. Azula had been surprisingly helpful with dinner, cutting up the zucchini and helping Suki make the pasta that Suki gave her a pass with the clean up. Azula sipped her wine and looked over a few papers she had brought home from work, leaning against the counter while Suki leaned over the sink.
“My father seems to think that we should take on every new project that comes our way.” Azula sighed, “I just don’t think we should spread ourselves so thin.”
“You do have the resources to spare though?”
Azula set her papers on the counter a little too quickly. She moved over and grabbed a towel, and started to dry the dishes Suki put on the rack. “We do but that doesn’t mean we should just jump headfirst into every new market. There’s too many companies that have gotten in over their heads, they’ve ruined their name by being too ambitious. It’s bad enough that we got Ty Lee and Mai involved with that cosmetics line - Christ - We should stick to what we do best. Cars, tech, and the military advancements. My great grandfather was ahead of everyone else. He cornered the market before anyone was even getting a company put together. Now, there’s too much competition. If we slip up it only takes one company at the right time to seize the opportunity to take our place. We have to be the best that we can be all the time. We can’t risk people not taking us seriously.”
“Your father listens to you, doesn’t he?”
Azula laughed half-heartedly, “More than he does anyone else, which still isn’t much.”
Suki glanced at Azula, sympathetically.
“He has a conqueror’s mind,” Azula said after exchanging her glance, “I swear he’d take over the world if he could.”
“What about Zuko?” Suki asked, “Surely he’s tried to talk to your father?”
Azula laughed again with a little more mirth, this time, “It it were up to Zuko, we’d get rid of our military department altogether, and start a line of peace propaganda and Buddha bracelets.”
“Oh, how horrible,” Suki teased heavily, eyeing Azula while shutting off the water as she finished the last pan.
Azula sighed, noting the implication, “It’s not that simple, Suki. My great grandfather started this company on making advancements during wartime. We’re built on that legacy. If we give that up now, we’ll throw away everything we’re known for.”
“You said yourself that your great grandfather led the world at a time with the tech that Sozin produced. Maybe making weapons is what the world thought it needed then, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t lead the world in a different direction now.”
“It’s too much of a risk.”
“Maybe you’re just afraid of the unknown.”
“You’re starting to sound like my Uncle Iroh,” Azula pointed out, smirking from the corner of her mouth. “Maybe you, him, and Zuko can all sit around and make charm bracelets together.”
“Hm, you know your Uncle Iroh sounds like a really nice guy.”
Azula groaned, rolling her eyes. “He’s just as delusional as Zuzu. I swear they rub off on each other.”
Suki had dried her hands and thrown the towel to the side. She walked up to Azula and turned her around to face her, wrapping her arms around her waistline, and planted a soft kiss on Azula’s lips. Azula softened in her arms. She rubbed up and down Suki’s toned biceps.
“Just think about it,” Suki spoke gently over Azula’s lips, “I know you try really hard to be who you think you’re supposed to be, you shouldn’t forget who you are, either.”
Azula sighed and turned her head, “It’s not like I wouldn’t want to stop what we’re doing and do something better. Dump all of our money into our tech and automotive sectors, but I have this voice in the back of my head that says that if we don’t do it.. then someone else will. And I would… I would rather know what people are capable of. Plus my father would never give up our namesake.”
Suki straightened up, “That’s a lot to put on your shoulders, Azula.” She let go of the grip she had on Azula’s waist and walked around the counter, into the hallway, towards the bathroom.
“That’s a lot of words to say that you’re okay with making weapons for people!” Suki called down the hall.
Azula sighed again and picked up her glass of wine and took a drink. She set it down on the counter with a clink and called back, “You know.. for the record.. we don’t make weapons, we make parts for weapons!” She called out just as she heard the bathroom door shut.
Suki came out of the bathroom a little while later. Azula had walked around to the other side of the counter and was sipping her wine, looking over her papers again, distracted. Suki rounded on her, grabbing at the hem of Azula’s shirt and pulling her away from the counter. Azula was so startled that she dropped her papers on the counter, gaping at Suki.
“Okay, tough guy,” Suki had a playful grin on her face. She threw Azula against the bed so her knees buckled and she sat down quickly to break her fall. Suki climbed onto Azula’s lap and straddled her hips, wrapping her arms around Azula’s shoulders, and clasping them behind her.
“Why don’t you show me how much of a peacemaker you are,” Suki started kissing around Azula’s mouth, “Show me you’re not a bad guy like everyone thinks.”
“Who’s everyone?” Azula kissed Suki back and stopped to ask, seriously.
“Just me,” Suki said, smirking against Azula’s lips, “Maybe a couple of my friends that are scared of you.”
Azula froze, “Your friends are afraid of me?” Her eyes looked up at Suki.
“Not all of them,” Suki said, touching Azula’s chin, “But you do have a way with people that kind of makes them afraid of you.”
Azula huffed and moved her head down. She leaned it against Suki’s chest.
“My mother used to tell me people were afraid of me.” There was a note of sadness in Azula’s voice that broke Suki.
“Hey…” Suki said, tilting Azula’s chin up again. “You don’t scare me. You don’t.” A sly smile spread across Suki’s mouth as she pressed it to Azula’s lips, “You’re honest… and open, and determined…” Suki kissed her with each compliment, “And fierce, and giving, and loyal, and…” Suki kissed the top of Azula’s head for assurance, “And sweet.”
“Sweet?” Azula whispered, smiling up at Suki.
“The sweetest,” Suki smiled back, pushing Azula’s hair behind her ear.
Azula chuckled,“I wouldn’t go that far.” She kissed her mouth and wrapped her arms around her. She then swung Suki around so she could plant her on the bed, then deepened their kiss. Once she pulled back, she held her gaze there for moment. Suki stroked Azula’s hair back and brushed her cheek.
“I think you just don’t like showing people how much you care.”
Azula smiled at Suki, “You got me all figured out, huh?” She whispered.
“No,” Suki said, honestly, “I’m just one of the few people who gets to see the real you.” Suki’s hands rested on Azula’s face for a moment, and Azula leaned down and kissed Suki again. This time, their kiss was slow and meaningful. Suki’s mouth opened up and Azula pressed her tongue into Suki’s, savoring her taste. In the back of Azula’s mind, she knew that what Suki said was true. Suki was the only person she showed her real self to.
Azula pulled back, “I should go wash up.” She said, as Suki was already in her night clothes and sweats and Azula was still in her work clothes.
Suki gave Azula another mischievous grin before smacking her ass. “Okay, but then get your ass back to this bed.”
Azula winked at Suki before disappearing down the hall.
**
Azula was walking through the halls of a palace. The pillars and walls were painted in shades of red. The architecture was cut in shapes that were proud, threatening, and grand all at once. There were large painted murals on the walls of places and people. People in crowns that looked like fire.
Azula was in a throne room. The room was ignited with walls of fire surrounding it, except the fire was as blue as the deep ocean. The flames were so hot, she thought she was burning with them, but that felt natural. There were people before her, they were bent low to the ground like they were bowing to her, but they were cowering. Azula’s fist went forward and all of the heat in her body surged forward and set ablaze the people in front of her. They all screamed.
They would not stop screaming.
Azula awoke with a start, sitting straight up in bed. Her sheets and her shirt felt wet, her shirt stuck to her skin. She found it hard to breathe, like the breath had just been taken right out of her lungs. She had to focus on it to draw air back into her lungs and calm her quick racing heart. There were beads of sweat on her brow and cheeks.
“Azula.”
Suki had woken up and reached for her arm. “Are you okay?”
Her voice felt distant and muffled. An echo of what Azula had asked of her earlier.
Azula’s chest felt like it was rising in temperature. Like her skin was singing itself off a fire growing deep in her abdomen. It left her breath growing ragged, her face growing flush.
“Jesus, you’re burning,” Suki said, urgently. She felt her skin, her face. An exact echo of the two of them earlier, their roles reversed.
Azula took a shuddering breath, her lungs filling deep with air. She laid back down and put a hand on her chest, feeling her quick heartbeat start to slow again, gradually. Suki leaned down over her, pushing some of Azula’s stuck bangs from her forehead.
“I’m sorry,” Azula said.
“Don’t be,” Suki said, automatically.
“I had a dream…” She said, her tone was hushed. She could have been speaking to herself.
“I think I’m just… over-thinking… work..”
“Azula…” Suki’s brow furrowed.
Azula found it hard to stay there then. She got up from the bed and tossed the blankets away from her. “I’m really hot,” she said. “I’m going to go and take a cold shower.”
The heat she felt was extraordinary, unlike anything. It turned her stomach and danced across her skin. Azula had to look down at it to make sure it was not ablaze. She turned the dial of the shower all the way down when she turned the water on. Ice cold would not be chilled enough to calm the heat that she felt, but it would have to do. She stepped into the shower and gasped. The sensation of the water on her skin was gratifying as it was painful. She could have sworn for a second that there was steam releasing from her skin until she stepped closer to the stream and let it cover her whole body. She closed her eyes and soaked her head, feeling the cold droplets fall behind her closed eyes and cheeks.
She heard movement rustle behind her and when she turned to look, Suki was moving the shower curtain aside, all of her clothes already fallen to the floor in a pile next to Azula’s.
Suki wrapped her arms around Azula, pressing into Azula’s back. Her hands came to rest in front of them, squeezing them both from behind. Azula ran her fingers over Suki’s knuckles, feeling the top of her hand. She squeezed into Suki’s embrace, and she felt Suki’s lips at the small of her back, along her spine. Azula spun in her arms. She looked at Suki and lifted her chin, slightly. She melted then, pressing Suki’s lips to her. She felt Suki sigh.
Her skin flushed and she felt the heat take its toll. Her temperature rose and she suddenly felt the desperate urge to pull Suki into her. She lifted Suki’s leg around her waist and pressed her girlfriend up against the wall. She kissed her passionately and moved to her chin and then her neck. Suki gasped loud when Azula’s lips touched the sensitive spot on her neck.
“Azula! Your skin!” Suki screeched. “It’s on fire!”
She did not pull away from Azula, however. Her nails turned inward and embedded in Azula’s back.
Azula pulled away from Suki. She was not feeling like herself. Her dream had shaken her to her core. She didn’t want to admit that something about it had felt so familiar, and she didn’t know why, but blue flames now pressed against her conscious thoughts like an ebb and flow tide.
Her fingers were a trickle on mine. Rain on a tempered roof where drops laced into my hands and squeezed tightly. Her eyes were always laughing.
They laughed at me, “Trust me.” They said.
I did.
“Come... my love.” Said a gray rabbit hat, furry boots, and a tutu. Black, of course.
I followed the black lace tutu.
The music was loud.
Loud enough to drown my thoughts of anxiety. Put them in a blender. Make a joyous concoction of
amusement
bewilderment
repose and nerve-
-nervousness, anyway.
The drugs made me feel like the music was in my head. Someone banged drumsticks on my eardrums.
My heart was a guitar, the strings it played were my blood and veins.
My hands covered my ears.
“Alexis!”
I felt candy beads against my wrists.
Opened my closed eyes and there were Alexis’s, bright and sparkling like stars.
Smiling.
“I feel really hot!” I screamed in music.
“You are really hot!” Her hands wrapped my wrists. Beads of sweat went down my temple. I wanted to wipe my forehead.
Her eyes never left mine. Our gaze was stuck like glue. Our hands wove together and she lifted them between us. “Do you trust me, Roe?”
I didn’t have to nod, my eyes said it all.
Our hands lit up like Edison’s first lightbulb.
Tesla light coiled around it.
Sparks constricting and coveting the union. Palm against palm. Heat passing through one to the other.
So hot...
“Here, I’m going to show you.” Her voice was now isolated from the music, like the bass dulled down so I could hear her speak each time. Sound isolation. All in my head.
Drumsticks in my eardrum.
“Trail your hand down.”
She showed me herself, swooping her hand in an ocean wave motion on the side of her body. Light followed her trail. Glowing, existent light that trailed the flow her hand proposed.
Like a galaxy belt.
That’s what her light looked like... or reminded me of. A galaxy belt.
You’re stars... you’re like stars.
My mouth made an O, formed the word Wow. “Do it.”
My hand slipped down, guided by hers. It swam in the ocean of air and trailed light, purple and dull gray.
“Use your heat.” She touched my fingertips and my hand exploded from the palm, purple fire swallowed up my hand.
She laughed in glee, mouth cracking so wide I saw every one of her teeth. I swung my hand, moving like poi, watching my flame. Watching my fire.
“Purple is my favorite color!” Alexis belted, though there was no need, if she whispered I could hear her.
Her lips smashed into mine, then. Tongue parted my lips and stole air from my throat. Inhaling.
Take my breath.
My lips fell into hers, gratefully. Thankfully. Cosmos meeting my fire.
Hands around my waist. Hands around my shoulders. Hands around my face.
“You’re SO hot!”
I embraced her.
Her boyfriend walked by us then. Everyone called him San Antonio. She snatched her boyfriend’s hand. And looked at me with stars.
“Do you want to come home with us?” She said. I wondered if I could evade this.
I don’t know, though...
I nodded a response. Nervousness crept it’s way up my spine. I’m not great at intimacy.
I longed for it, though. I longed for it all the time.
Smashed on a dance floor
Boy and girl on either side
I became a missing piece.
Everyone was leaving.
She’d squeeze the blood out of my fingers.
Squeezed me tightly, like she already knew.
She wouldn’t let me go.
There was no way I’d break away from a vice grip that held me so tightly with promise.
San Antonio pushed through the crowd. He was tall, big, muscular. He had sandy blonde hair and sandy blonde scruff.
Not when another bumped into them, apologized- He had to regain his balance.
She let go to rub her boyfriend’s forearm, and kept pushing forward through the bodies. She trusted me to follow.
She trusted me.
Another current pushed my arm and pushed me sideways at that moment. My saving grace.
My wishes made reality.
I followed the new current, or let it take me, rather. Watching as the old one took stars and sand the other way.
Watching. Watching.
Her grip him so... lovingly...
Until she knew. Until she realized.
An unspoken whisper
Turned her head, spun around, and caught a glimpse of my sad apology- My eyes said, “I’m sorry,” but they could not make up for-
Broken heart eyes
Before I was swept away and gone.
