The future doesnt frighten me too much, its that everything will change and Ill be the same. That is what spooks the heck out of me. Im good at changing but only in bad circumstances :/
i totally get what you’re saying, life is constantly changing & it is so so hard to adapt to it. but the thing about people is that we often grow and change in ways we can’t rly see at first. it’s slow and can be difficult but you are capable of shifting your mindset or your routine in small ways to help ease urself into a new situation. i’ve felt so far behind everyone else around me for a long time now but the good thing is that i’m aware of it. there’s things i know i probably can’t change about myself but i also have areas i can work on & improve. there’s no pressure to change but u also should allow urself the opportunity to grow. it’s ok to take things at ur own pace. change is so fricking scary but i’ve found that most of the time it’s for the better and leads u to many more opportunities and friendships and happiness. things will be different in the future but it doesn’t mean that they will be bad & it doesn’t mean u will be left behind.
Its not much of a Ghost Story but im like 90% sure theres ghosts in my house in very specific spots and one keeps tripping me over when I leave the bathroom.
ok dang that’s weird!!! i have lil things like that happen to me all the time at my parents house, like sometimes i hear my name being whispered randomly??? it’s usually stuff that’s super small but still spooky & not easily explainable?? just mini hauntings like the ghosts are just messin with ya lil bit. be careful tho dude even if ur just tripping don’t hit ur head or anything!!!
There's this person in my bio class, who's pretty chill and funny, and I've been talking to him for a month or two since we play the same sport. And it's really funny everytime we interact because he's like,,, 6'4" and I'm legit 5'3", so I'm always looking up at him. And it's the most terrifying feeling ever, but whenever I look at him or talk to him and he smiles, my entire body does the anxiety jump but in a good way, and I don't think he likes me back, but I hope he stays for a while.
this is SO CUTE omg i hope that whatever ends up happening with u guys that he continues to make u rly happy!!!! <3
1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
Oh no, what even is my favorite movie? SWEATS. WELL FOR THE EASE OF MY LIFE. I'm going to default to Monsters University because that's my most favorite RECENT movie. The first time I saw it, I got to see it with my super lovely friends (wwizarderi, dajra, and godtier1) and AAAA I just sat in the theater absolutely DELIGHTED. I looooved what they did and it made me believe that sequel (or rather prequels, I suppose) don't ALWAYS suck. OH gooooosh. Seeing the choices they made for characters - and the VISUALS oh maaan the details were awesome and AAAAAA I looove the message and just all around I remember being SO HAPPY and bouncy at the end of the movie. Cries a lot. I think I've seen this movie like five times now, and every time I notice new little details and gosh I love it.
2: Talk about your first kiss.
I feel like my first kiss took place in the stairwell of the gym while my girlfriend and I were trying to walk up the stairs to go to the track? She slipped a smooch and I got really really embarrassed and stuttery and we held hands while walking the track and probably talked about our stupid OCs. Oh highschool...
3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.
This person is incredibly witty and always floored me with the sort of responses and stuff they would come up with. They're boundlessly creative and super kind to everyone they meet. They're very open and welcome-ing to just about everyone and present themselves in a way that I really look up to them! All around, they're a super awesome person!
4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
To be honest, I have one regret that I think sums up MOST of my "regretful" feelings in life.
When I was graduating high school, girls and boys were separated and were supposed to walk down the bleachers together. They said that girls could hold the arm of their male partner if they wanted to. Well, the guy I was getting paired up with was an attractive jock who I'd know for years through the Latin program. We were acquaintances at best. But you see, I was so shy and SO convinced that no one would want to hold my hand or hold my arm - that when the time came, I didn't reach for him. I didn't realize until it was TOO LATE. That he had smiled and held his arm out for me to take.
I still think about that moment to this day, really. If I hadn't been so caught up in my own uncertainty - I would've seen that this guy totally didn't care. In fact, that this guy WANTED to be nice to me. It's a small regret, I know, but gosh sometimes I wish I could've been braver in that moment - and walked down the bleachers smiling with him. Not because it was romantic or anything - just because he was being nice and I completely ignored his friendly gesture because I was too busy convincing myself that people wouldn't want to do that sort of thing for me. Go figure, huh?
5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.
Oh Anon! I've had so many great birthdays. While I studied abroad - people threw me a surprise party even though I was the "quiet" girl who sort of kept to myself. They invited me to their apartment and when I got there they'd made a cake and drinks for me and all sang for me and it was. a real blast to be SO far from all my close friends and relatives and have these NICE PEOPLE show me such compassion.
Then just this past birthday I received SO many wonderful messages from you guys <3 and Gilbo cooked my favorite dish and made me a cake -- and Red and Gilbo cosplayed with me and took me to dinner and we went lazer tagging. Gosh yeah that was awesome too. I. I JUST LOVE THE THINGS PEOPLE DO FOR MY BIRTHDAYS. So I can't just pick one!
Well, recently the end of college has left something of a hole in my life? I stopped having as much of a set schedule AND I had to move back to the middle of no-where Indiana -- which has made it much harder for me to socialize (I find myself driving two hours one way to visit Gilbo and Red to try to fill the void ahahah). I really miss living with my friends, and god do I miss WALKING everywhere. It felt like I walked with Gilbo ALL the damn time - and so to not have the ability to do that as easily? Gosh it's been hard.
Nevermind that I'm living with my parents again until my full-time job kicks in and I can afford an apartment. Talk about "giveth Independence!" only to have it taken away. It's been a bit of a hot-button issue in my life. Ahahaha.
But yeah man, wow - I miss the freedom I had in University - BUT hopefully I'll be able to get back on track to being more independent again by August/September!
I'm most proud of how far I've come as a person. When I was a teenager, I was incredibly shy and had a woeful self-worth. Even though I had friends and made good grades - I still was under the impression that something must've been inherently wrong with me. I was more close-minded too. But as I've grown - I've made a lot of VERY conscious decisions about what I wanted to be as an adult. I wanted to take more risks, I wanted to get outside of my comfort zone and approach people, and most importantly I wanted to love myself and help others love themselves too. While I still have plenty that I can work on - I can TELL how much I've improved, and everyday I'm just proud of myself for fighting anxieties and a history of low self-esteem.
I just really want to be the person that my teenage self needed, and I genuinely think I'm heading down a path that would've made younger me proud.
9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
Well, I have a lot of little freckles that are spread out in weird spaces. But they're kind of cute. I use to play connect the dots with them when I was a wee lass... I also have back dimples? Which I like to poke and press my thumbs into sometimes when I'm bored. They feel cute and like I have a little resting place for my hands! I also like my hip bones cause they kinda poke over my jeans sometimes and Iunno. They're really cute. I like poking those too.
28: Talk about your fetishes.
Answered here!
34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.
OH GOD OH GOD. About six months ago, my wisdom teeth that I hadn't gotten removed yet got INFECTED. It was the most terribly pain I'd /ever/ been in. When it first happened I thought I just had a terrible toothache and went throughout my day. I tried taking Tylenol and ibu and nothing even /phased/ it. I was spending time with my friends - and god when everyone went to sleep I /tried/ to sleep - but the pain was so overwhelming I couldn't sleep. I could barely talk. I just kept pacing and pacing and taking more and more drugs to try to make it stop. and then I'd lay down to sleep, and wake up 30 minutes later after the blood pooled back up in my jaw and caused it to throb again. The pain was so terrible I didn't sleep for 3 days. THE WORST WAS. That I had two con weekends back to back that people depended on me for for transportation. So I finally got prescription painkillers (Tylenol with codeine but even THAT wasn't strong enough.) and orajel numbing solution and basically guzzled that all of Ramencon. Unfortunately - that still didn't help and I still spent the nights wide awake and had to sit on the bathroom and cry for a while because I was in so much pain. By the time AWA rolled around, I was on SUPER high prescription pain killers (and I had to take them religiously because once the dosage started to wear off the pain was just THOUGHT JAMMING.) - and so I don't remember a lot of AWA unfortunately.
God, I literally had never experienced such terrible pain before. I think it was definitely registering at about a 7-8 on the pain scale??? Hhhhh god. The morning I got back from AWA they put me in surgery and got the damn things taken out.
