A letter to my ex
Thank you for putting me in the point of my life where everything came crashing down on me. At the point where my focus for my academics was strayed from the progressive path for the last time.
Thank you for making me realize that I needed to focus on me. That without building my own self-love and worth, that I wouldn’t be able to become the person I am Today.
Thank you for showing me that I had a problem with self-worth and that I constantly overcompensate for something that wasn’t ever really missing.
Thank you for making me realize that somewhere down the road, I’ll find someone who has shown me the same potential love that we have shared during our time together.
Thank you for helping me realize that not all things are what they may seem. That sometimes you can justify building that emotional wall to protect yourself from being harmed by others.
Thank you... for cheating on me. Because without it, I wouldn’t have been able to be thankful for all that you have made me realize from your unfaithful behavior. Since the day I punched that naked guy you were sleeping with when you claimed to be merely “catching up with friends”, I’ve grown in so many ways that it all seems so surreal for me now.
Aside from the several epiphanies that I’ve found, I take away the broken trust that I have for women now, I can’t help but have my thoughts strayed away from the positive light that the girl I’m dating is serious about us. I can’t help but think that at every moment that I’m not with her or in contact with her, that she’s taking that advantage into seeing someone else. I end up setting myself for a heart break that may or may not happen, in which I can only find the remedy from the delight of her voice and the comfort of her touch as reassurance that everything is fine. I’m trying to fix this at the moment, as I already recognize it as my downfall in maybe this relationship or the next. But hell. It’s pretty damn hard. I once believed that the scar you left on my heart was nothing but a mere scratch, but only to turn my heart to the other side and find a deep gash down where my trust used to be. But I guess besides all that damage I’ve moved on with, on the bright side I discovered my wanderlust and adventurous palate for food from you. I guess I can wish you the best, but a part of me is spiteful and hope that you answered for your crimes against me. I guess I’ll never know until I run into you in person again, for now I hope you’re doing well but please stay the hell out of my life.