Hello! It’s 2am, I’ve been rewriting this for 3 hours because words are the hard and I’m just tired. (Sounds like you are ALSO dealing with Time! But, that doesn’t make you a Time player either- let’s get into it.)
World: Alternia
Name: Tempus Facrem
“Tempus” means “time” in Latin, and “Facrem” is derived from “factorem” which means “maker”. Assuming I’ve not beansed the name (which is very, very possible), it should mean Time Maker which compliments her story and classpect nicely.
Age: ~8 sweeps
Theme/Story: Tempus is a hobbyist clock maker who’s hive is located in a quiet area of Alternia who tries her hardest to keep to herself and keep out of bother. Despite this, she’s often commissioned by trolls higher up the hemospectrum than herself and almost never has time to do her own thing or even make a clock for herself. I try to follow the general theme of time with her overall.
Goals: A general overview would be appreciated, as well as some suggestions for whatever I couldn’t decide on. As Tempus were originally created for a casual and definitely not canon-compliant Lords and Muses only RP session, I couldn’t adapt everything. (I am going to open my review here, because a General Overview of a character like this, by nature, turns into a Overhaul. I talk about Overcommitment To Gimmick A LOT in my reviews, because it plagues many fantrolls, ESPECIALLY Time Players.) (Your Troll is not the first Clock Themed Time Player Fantroll I’ve received, and I always point to canon. Aradia? Damara? Dave? When are any of these characters clock themed? You use the word “Time” 28 times in this profile, which points, once again, that that’s kind of her only thing.) (I will tackle alternate Aspects for her under Classpect. Much of this review is going to be trying to tease a more rounded character out of this. Perhaps your initial RP had more character for her? But, if there was, it hasn’t translated through to here.)
Strife Specibus: Sniperkind (or maybe riflekind, I can’t decide) (Riflekind is more general, and it’s what Jade uses!)
It also leads to some interesting questions you can ask yourself about her character- is she good or bad at guns? If she’s good at it, where did she learn and is this a passion? Is it just for protection or is there more? And if she isn’t good at it, why did she choose to pick it up and why does she stick with it?
Fetch Modus: Honestly no ideas here, chief.
I could probably make a cuckoo clock joke here, but I honestly don’t want to reinforce the already drowning-in-time theme.
God I could more jokingly apply a TikTok reference here. She has to make a musical.ly about the object in question.
Or if she’s fascinated with universal constants, she could have a more abstract time system, like an Orbit system. All the cards are locked into a central ‘orbit’ and can only be uncaptcha’d when they line up in particular ways.
Really, fetch modi usually involve alternate interests or coding jokes and it’s hard to think of any of those to apply here. I’d expand on her interest set and then come back to this!
Blood Colour: With reference to Fir3h34rt’s hemospectrum chart, between scarlet and cardinal.
I know we’re already making a lot of change recommendations and we’re hardly even half way, but I have to say that she really doesn’t read like a rust to me. We have to remember that rusts are rooted in Aries. The extended zodiac says rusts are wild, they crave adventure, they love drama, they’re dynamic, they’re quick to anger, they’re incautious- where is that in Tempus?
Further, clockworking isn’t a very low maintenance career. Most of the rusts we see have “menial” labor or things they can do on their own, adventuring out into the world without much equipment. If a rust can’t have prescription glasses, how are they getting a clock studio? Where is she getting the materials? Where did she get the startup materials? Did someone else act as her patron? Why?
This kind of niche skill and dedication to a craft isn’t something we see as emblematic of rusts, it’s something that’s more in line with bluebloods. That’s not to say I necessarily think you need to make her a blue (though I think it would be an interesting twist on the character and a good way to migrate her away from the obvious Aradia association). I just think you need to bring more of that Rustblood Fire to her, even if it’s repressed. Where’s the boiling under the surface tension? The desire to throw off her shackles and run free?
Her theoretical EZ symbol with your current assignments would be The Headstrong. Where’s the headstrong?
Symbol and Meaning:
A minimalist empty hourglass. Represents a lack of time. (I don’t have a better sign off the cuff, but refer to my comments above as to why I think this is a poor choice.)
Handle: I’m also not sure what to put here. This was another detail that I just couldn’t adapt. Her original handle was timeyWimey because she was meant to be a Lord of Time and my humour isn’t very creative. (I… actually think that’s pretty cute.)
Quirk: Regular capitalisation. Vowels are replaced with respective numbers, unless if the number created from the quirk is greater than 12. e.g. My n4m3 1s T3mpu5 F4cr3m.
Again we can kind of see the overcommitment here. I can’t fault you too much for it, but you might want to step away from the clock thing Too strongly here. You say she likes rhythm, tempo. Maybe you could think of different speaking patterns instead. Find syllabic patterns to give her, or even just chop her words curtly, monosyllabic. Ex: Give. Her. A. Drone. One. Syl. La. Ble. At. A. Time. It. Is. Slow. But. She. Is. Pa. Tient. Are. You?
But I again recommend looking more into her interests and then coming back to this later.
Lusus: Greater Skarthi, a dog-sized beetle with two horns. A very relaxed lusus who taught Tempus the value of patience. They share a good relationship.
I honestly think she could use at least a little conflict. Having a soothing lusus relationship is easy, sure, but how about the interest of trying to focus on her craft when her lusus routinely wrecks her shit? The stress. The Drama.
Interests: Tempus is fascinated with clocks and rhythm as a whole, seeing time as a universal constant that should be respected. She chooses to respect time by making clocks, and prior to her being frequently commissioned she used to make them in a variety of shapes and sizes through different methods for entertainment or to pass the time. (So… her entire interests are clocks and Time. A Time Player is not like this. Let’s look at Dave’s intro page: “Your name is DAVE. It is an UNSEASONABLY WARM April day. Your BEDROOM WINDOW is open to let some air in, and your FAN is cranked. Arguably even more cranked would be your FLY BEATS, which brings us to your variety of INTERESTS. A cool dude like you is sure to have plenty. You have a penchant for spinning out UNBELIEVABLY ILL JAMS with your TURNTABLES AND MIXING GEAR. You like to rave about BANDS NO ONE’S EVER HEARD OF BUT YOU. You collect WEIRD DEAD THINGS PRESERVED IN VARIOUS WAYS. You are an AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHER and operate your own MAKESHIFT DARKROOM. You maintain a number of IRONICALLY HUMOROUS BLOGS, WEBSITES, AND SOCIAL NETWORKING PROFILES. And if the inspiration strikes, you won’t hesitate to drop some PHAT RHYMES on a mofo and REPRESENT.” Homestuck ACT 2, Page 312) (Aradia gets kind of a free pass for her intro page because she is… well… a ghost. And her stated remembered interest is Archaeology, not Clocks.)
This is where you have to ask your self some additional questions. How might she have gotten into clock making? Did she start with woodworking? Was she inspired by something else? Did she just do it out of convenience because she didn’t have one? Does she just like DIY in general? Because DIY could be a very interesting origin point for a character like her. A lot of self-crafts DO take a lot of patience and you can capitalize on that character trait in ways besides saying it.
And, of course, you should ask what she does in her downtime. Unless she’s a workaholic or is in extortionist circumstances, most people have downtime. Does she have unfair contracts keeping her working constantly and stopping her from pursuing old intrigues? Does she miss her other interests? Or does she choose to burn the candle at both ends and neglect leisure? Because if neither of these are the case, she needs other hobbies.
Appearance: Has long black hair, similar to Aradia’s but slightly shorter and a tad tidier. Her horns share the ram aesthetic of Aradia’s too, however they have significantly less curling and point downwards and forwards. Wears a tool apron with her symbol on it over a dark grey jumpsuit. (I would absolutely love it if you could draw your interpretation of her to see how it compares to mine, but it’s absolutely not necessary.)
Personality: While she isn’t particularly optimistic, Tempus is good at looking at a situation from different perspectives which can be confused for optimism. In reality, she’s far more calm and relaxed under pressure than she is optimistic. She’s incredibly patient, both with people and in a literal waiting sense, thanks to her lusus. As she has the patient of a saint. when she does rarely get frustrated it’s usually very small scale. In spite of this, she’s prone to cursing, but not often to directly insult someone or something and more for comedic effect. (I think we have the beginnings of a solid character here. The thing that she’s really missing is the Time sense of fighting. She’s got this serene, steel will which is a useful trait, but where’s the STRUGGLE? Where is the drama, where is that draw to cyclical destruction.)
^^^ You’ve given us red on red, here. Time and Rust together have an inherent drama and tension. I really think that’s what we’re missing here. I think you could easily do something with the fact that she’s been put on commission to so many highbloods. Is she playing up her patience? Is she putting on airs for her professional career? Does she have a fury boiling beneath her skin? If she about to snap? Is she one snide violetblood comment away from tearing a clock off the wall and committing murder? Is she trying so hard to be a patient person but god people make it so HARD don’t you just want to go APE SHIT?
Lunar Sway: Prospit, as she’s loyal to her acquaintances and often employs a creative approach to problems, even if they aren’t the most efficient ways of doing things. She also lives in the moment as she doesn’t always have the time to plan ahead. (Checks out to me.)
Title: Maid of Time. Don’t have much commentary regarding that :/ sorry
(And here it begins. Is this character a Maid? I don’t think so- Maids have a pretty classic character arc of being pushed around and then snapping and going absolute bonkers- Aradia beats Vriska to literal death, Kanaya chainsaws Eridan, and Jane…. oh boy, half of Act 6 is Jane’s.) (Is this character a Time player? I often use the phrase “Chosen by Time” in my reviews, because Time players are so DISTINCT, and required by Sgrub/Sburb. Time players aren’t chosen to be such because they like clocks or time, but because they have traits that allow them to whether the endless destruction and struggle that the Red Mantle puts on their shoulders. She needs a core of restlessness, a core of churning, if placid. EZ says that “at their worst they are ruthless, defensive, and impulsive”, which I think helps put them into perspective. Time players can and will lash back out at you.) (I think… this might be a Void player. She’d need an overhaul just to be something other than a walking clock reference, but she has the makings of one of those. A draw towards creation but in a lowkey sense, expanding on things that are already known…) (Otherwise, she may be a Space Player. She has that creation focus, and she reminds me more of 1-4 Jade than any Time player in Canon. Jade also leaned very heavily into her Time inversion for most of her life, to the point where she received Seer of Time powers for quite a while.)
I have to agree here. I think if you wanted her to be a Maid of Time you’d really have to lean into what I addressed under the personality section. She has to be ready to SNAP. Her narrative would have to be about being pushed around and then she lets go and finally embodies the full chaotic force of time. Otherwise, she’s just not a time player or a maid. Space player is where I’m leaning, personally. They embody the patience and mutability you describe here way more and they also tend to be of the craftier and more hands-on sort. Void player is also a great way to go for a creative. You’d have to lean into her interest in the universe, in the unknown- you address her caring about universal constants, but why? That’s the sort of question the Void assignment would ask.