#terrible tv

[cristinablackthornkingson]

A summary of Four in a Bed.

Guests: The room was too clean, and the bed was too comfortable, and the shower was too wet so we’re underpaying you by £30 and we wouldn’t stay here again.

Host: Oh well that’s fine then.... don’t want you to stay here again anyway.... 

That’s it, that’s the show.

[tcfkag]

The Oddities of Reality TV

I’ve fallen into one of the deepest, darkest holes in the reality genre today and I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. So, since looking away doesn’t seem likely, ranting about it on the internet seems to be the best plan. What dastardly yet addictive show am I talking about, you ask? Naked Dating. And the premise is basically what you would imagine if you combined the Bachelor/Bachelorette with the Real World and then picked it all up, moved it to a “deserted” island in the Philippines (probably just a “deserted” beach they are using for filming), and require that the contestants victims go on their first date together completely naked. (Which I swear to god means that I’ve heard the sentence “I’m a grower, not a shower” more times than I would care to in the last few hours.)

So anyway, the show works like this. Two people, one man (Chris) and one woman (Kerri), are looking for love. They could, if the so choose, be together. But first the show wants to make really, really sure they know what is available to them, so during the first episode, Chris and Kerri both go on dates (completely naked) with two people. At the end of the episode, they pick one contestant to be a “keeper” who will carry over to the next episode. After that, Chris and Kerri go on two more dates per episode (each date is with a new person) and then the dates go back with them to “the house” overnight. 

TL;DR? - Its remarkable how quickly people can develop seemingly genuine feelings for people and even more remarkable how many fall victim to some wildly hypocritical jealousy that just makes no sense on a matchmaking reality show based on the two matchmakees going on an endless string of dates with beautiful naked people. ) Read below for my further thoughts which turned into an embarrassingly long reflection on the nature of the people on the show and the relationships.

 Each episode at least one of the contestants (especially the keepers) inevitably complain that Chris or Kerri are spending all their time with the new contestant and that they shouldn’t be trying to steal “their” man/woman. And in grand reality show tradition, many of the contestants will focus as much on making their competition look bad as they do on making themselves desirable.

 One of the female "keepers” for three or four episodes (a good run) would routinely get the other competitors drunk so that they would look “sloppy” in front of Chris. And she took every opportunity there was to criticize the other contestants. When they found out that one of the contestants was a stripper, she asked Chris how he could even think about ending up with such a dirty [mean word.] And, hilariously, his immediate reply was “but, you model lingerie so...” which made her *so* offended because it is completely different obviously (she finally got booted after an episode where she got so jealous of Chris spending time with another woman that she decided to get sloppy drunk [quelles ironic] and then got in a screaming fight with one of the other contestants about how SHE was perfect for Chris, Chris couldn’t possibly want anything else, and that [the other contestant] better back off. Also funnily, the woman she was screaming at turned out not to be the woman Chris chose to keep that week. Lol. I mean, what kind of reality show would it be if there wasn’t at least some screaming and tears? It would be no reality show at all. 

At the end of the episode, Chris and Kerri are asked whether they would like to stay with their keeper or if they would like to switch to one of their other dates. This continues for an indeterminate amount of time until the season ends. Now, since I haven’t seen the end of the season yet, I don’t know how it works exactly but I do know that Chris and Kerri will have the option to pick each other or their keeper. 

Okay this is a really really long explanation for a not very groundbreaking observation but what is truly amazing about this show is how jealous the contestants (especially the keepers) get over Chris and Kerri spending time with their other dates. Because, while its easy to forget as a viewer, the keepers have probably known Chris and Kerri for a week or two, maximum. And they have to know the entire concept of the show is that Chris and Kerri will date other people. Not to mention that to have become a keeper, the contestant has to have already stolen Chris or Kerri from a prior contestant. And yet, despite all that, every episode has at least one keeper bemoaning how little time they have with C or K and that the other contestant is a [insert derogatory term here] for trying to get between them. Basically, its like every contestant gets some sort of odd version of amnesia that causes them to entirely forget the concept of the show and also makes them think they have been dating Chris and Kerri for years and that they are in a committed, loving relationship. Being shocked that “your” person is not exclusively interested or “in love” with you on a dating reality show based on going on many, many dates while naked requires a special kind of compartmentalization in a brain.

[obscurefox]

The Demon Files, ugh quite possibly the worst paranormal reality show I have ever seen. 

Not entertaining at all, sure they are all fake, but this it’s some sort of weird pathetic christian propaganda.

it’s so sad.

Dude, even if gods existed, yours is a second rate death cult who’s messiah didn’t even exist. 

[brohansuniverse]

Started rewatching the terrible shitty soap opera ‘Passions’ cos I used to watch it in the holidays when i was younger! It’s awful... I love it

[littlefeetemom]

Thank you Netflix! This show should only be watched by the 80s kids who are nostalgic not my 3 year old. Who is obsessed. The show is terrible. Stereotyping aside the sound affects are so annoying. I'd rather watch Curious George never have consequences than Super Mario Bros. It is so so so terrible. I want to scratch my eyes out. Time to put my game face on and restrict more shows.

[quietandviolent]

re-watching gossip girl cuz theres nothing else left uggg its so good and so bad at the same timeee

p.s. they literally foreshadow who Gossip Girl is in the first ten minutes of the pilot how stupid was I

[ronkap]

Bored

Waiting for the Tass at the hospital. A show called "The Social" is confirming why we no longer have broadcast TV. Watching makes me dumber. Shared from Google Keep

[ellieptical]

I'm watching Political Animals because of Sebastian Stan and it's fucking awful! There's a reason I only watched his clips on Youtube. It's awful awful awful. Also, do not understand how James Wolk is younger than Sebastian Stan! I had no idea they were supposed to be playing twins!