What is your Testimony?
comment or message on how God has changed your life ...
it all began for me when i decided to break up with my boyfriend of 9 years.
It wasn’t so great in the end, and we’d both been basically alcoholics that enabled each other. I remember it was new years eve and i was single and sober. Not too long after i decided to head to the next town to see some friends. next thing i know i am doing much harder drugs than i was initially doing.
i was giving my body to men that did not love me and who did not really care about me. it came to the point where i would sober up and sleep for days. it was not good. i remember always needing more, and i just had to have some more. more drugs, more drink, more sex.
that did not satisfy me at all. it left me wanting more. to be honest looking back it seems like such a bad dream.
earlier in 2020 i got way worse than better. and eventually i let a friend use my car to never get it back. to this day it is out there in the world. right now i do not care about it, but i do hope that whatever bad and negativity that is associated it will go with it when it blows its course.
late january i had sobered up after having a bad run in with a guy i was using with. he kept wanting to have sex, without even saying it, i knew it. it got way too weird for me and i couldn’t handle it. all of january i was partying, sleeping in my car and at random peoples houses, and even staying up for days on end driving around with no gas money. what was i doing?
my good, sober friends would let me crash for awhile then i’d be out the door again. i ended up coming back to my mom’s, slept for 2 days and was coming down. i had no alcohol, no drugs, nothing to sustain my fix that i thought/felt i so desperately needed.
i remember being at that guys house and was glad to be in my room where i have clothes and a bed and a house that has food. i had forgotten all about eating. my health was bad but i still kept myself going. i drank water and slowly got back to eating.
the only thing that would help me was coffee to feel a rush and be awake and make it through the day.
january 30 or 31 i attended a bible study at a local church with my mom and aunt. she didn’t asked and was actually surprised that i wanted to go. i honestly needed something to get my mind off of things and to be with genuine people. plus i was hungry and maybe i was needing Gods word more than the food in terms of sustenance.
i met some wonderful ladies and i kept attending every month until the virus hit.
i noticed odd changes, first in behavior, then in thinking and i even landed a job a few hours away from where i live. i began reading the bible more and even looked up bible study plans and sought God for a good month.
with my work i kept with my sobriety and my walk with God.
the virus hit and i couldn’t leave, since my job was a few hours away and my Tribe had went on lockdown with no movement in or out of the reservation, except through the barricades with approval.
i was at a friend’s but i ended up back at my moms - i did something stupid and almost got in trouble - i learned my lesson. thank you jesus.
after i landed my job, not too long after i had gotten accepted to and enrolled in CCU online seeking a degree in Communications. I chose that for my background in radio, and will seek a job in radio or telecommunications or journalism job field afterwards.
the only thing i have left is my sobriety and my online classes. but even those are a blessing. i bible study every week, and keep the Sabbath day. I diet with intermittent fasting and keep a sleep schedule where i get 8 hours of sleep.
from druggie and alcoholic to about 4 months of sobriety. because in those months of staying with a friend i wasn’t completely sober, but was sobering up.
as we enter another month, i am glad to say I love Jesus and am thankful for saving me from disaster. my walk with God is a daily thing and I am at peace and have love in my heart. in the process i had to forgive others as well as forgive myself. It has not been an easy road, and I didn’t expect it to be. But with God’s grace, i am sufficient, loved, blessed, and a whole new creation. I praise God for my testimony, i pray you are bold enough to share yours as well!
peace and love my brothers and sisters, feel free to message me or comment and share your testimony as well. keep me in prayers as i battle this world and walk with God, prayers for you as well whoever is reading this.
