#text tales

[bunnysmooch]

i love how human language rapidly devolves when talking to our pets

i just saw Smooch sleeping in his box and said to him:

“oh my gosh, are you eepy? are you eepy and neepy to seepy?”

utterly incomprehensible, and yet it’s not the first time i’ve said that exact thing to him

[bunnysmooch]

i like to offer smooch the box of hay before i dump it into his litterbox

i always say “first pick?” when offering it, which i continue to find funny every time

he doesn’t even realize he’s getting ‘first pick’ no matter what. he thinks he’s getting something special. it’s all his hay.

[bunnysmooch]

a few nights ago, my brother had some friends over. 1 of them fell asleep, so they left him in my brother’s room while they went for a walk

they did not close the door all the way

Smooch loves going into my brother’s room, mostly because he is not allowed to do so. he hopped around and somehow knocked my brother’s mouse off his desk (it’s unclear if he jumped up or w/e)

my brother’s friend then woke up to Smooch eating his hair

he’s never done that to any of us so idk maybe the friend used tasty-smelling shampoo??

tldr Smooch eats guests’ hair while they sleep, i guess

[bunnysmooch]

i scooted forward so we were touching and he didn’t get offended and get up like i was worried he would

now we are casually touching

(the floor creaked when i shifted and both his ears shot up, i could practically hear the “!!!” noise. BUT he stayed flopped!)

[bunnysmooch]

yesterday i decided to give Smooch his “let me clean your litterbox in peace” pellets in his stacking cups instead of his regular bowl

he had a blast! he begged me for round 2! (he also begged for round 3 but i had no time)

and then during the night, he realized i never put them away out of reach and decided to loudly fling the cups everywhere lol

[bunnysmooch]

we had an apartment inspection today, so we had to put smooch in the dog kennel mochi used to be in

he doesn’t actually seem to mind all that much, but when the inspector came, he was SHOOKETH

the guy was testing our fire alarms and smooch didnt look scared, just very concerned lol. and then the guy walked into the room and smooch was looking at him like ‘who tf are you??’ especially when the guy said “hi little bunny” to him lmao

and then the guy took a photo of smooch (with flash) and smooch did a very tiny, nearly silent thump

[bunnysmooch]

oh wait, did i ever tell y’all why Smooch’s nickname is “Rat”? i don’t think i did

we initially visited the cats and small animal location of our local humane society to see about adopting a pet rat. we had rats prior to getting bunnies (as well as concurrently) and my mom esp wanted another

they didn’t have any rats up for adoption, but they did have Smooch!

he was also young and tiny and liked to get into all kinds of mischief, so i would call him a ‘rat bastard’ when he was causing trouble. and then it was shortened into just ‘Rat’ (or sometimes ‘bat rastard’ lmao)

he’s also got a bunch of other nicknames ofc but Rat is used most consistently lol

[bunnysmooch]

me: *enjoying sun in backyard* Smooch: *also enjoying backyard; eating and binkying* *majestic hawk noise* me: was that what i think it was? Smooch: *unconcerned; has little survival instincts* *majestic hawk noise* me: yep :) time to go inside :)