#text.ji

[jimuart]

Tesla is what you get if you give a medical textbook to a kid with monstrous amounts of guilt and self-loathing and tell them that with it they can help people.

It could also be due to the system they were born into, but we won't talk about that.

[jimuart]

Tbh, with this au that I almost always draw about Tesla being alive I have ideas that I have to write later.

Like, what if she didn't tell the twins (or anyone really) the extent of the abuse she suffered? What if she purposely downplayed it to save Conrad's ass? Because only God knows how toxic the relationship between those two can be.

She was still a child when that happened and no matter how much I want to make her hate him completely I can't do that. Despite being a monster, Conrad is still someone she cares about and Tesla HATES feeling that way about him. She hides the most horrible evidence of his acts against her under the rug, swallowing it like poison that will one day end up killing her.

And yet, the moment someone else starts acting similar to him in anyway, her brain treats it as a betrayal and more violent behaviors begin to emerge. It's irrational, but she can't control it.

From an emotionally unstable child to an adult who has to constantly mask her emotions because she has no other way to pass as an ordinary citizen if she doesn't.

Ironically, I decided it was a good idea to make her a doctor/apothecary, especially because even with her justified hatred for humans, she still gives them a hand if they need it.

The best way I can explain this version of her is that she is a walking contradiction.

[jimuart]

Tesliv is fucking funny if you look at it from Vash or Wolfwood's perspective. Like, what do you mean the sibling you thought was dead is not only alive but also in a weird relationship with your friend's brother???

But for Tesla and Livio, this only means that the quiet life they have and that they worked hard to create is over. That they will have to return to that world that does not want them unless they fulfill the roles that were imposed on them as children.

It's not the kind of effect Vash wants to have on the people around him. But his presence can unfortunately be the catalyst for a disaster.

[jimuart]

I think that the desire to be found in Tesla is so deeply ingrained in her being that not being found is a perfect self-imposed punishment. For someone who craves connection and a sense of closeness in her life, it must be hell.

Does she hate humanity? Plants? Wams? Who knows. She doesn't feel close to either.

She just waits for someone to hear her voice, even if it's at a low frequency.

[jimuart]

Millyposting tomorrow, SHE'S REAL GUYS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[jimuart]

My head huuuuuuurts aaaaaaaaa

[jimuart]

I´m using krita again, I found a brush pack I like, kinda cool