#texting with dad

[foolishandfurious]

I can always count on my dad for breaking news.

[clevergirl91]

I'm not a normal human.

So, my dad texted me the other day:

Aww, how nice of him to let me know! At this point a normal human would respond:

Because, you know, relationships and feelings and stuff. Instead I send him this:

Which is weird enough, right? But no, I don't stop there. A few minutes later I send another:

And you know, he wasn't even fazed. He raised me. He knows.

[angry-pens-fan]

My dad and I are awful. At least I know where I get it from.

[everyautumn]

Dad: Ru off monday Me: Yes Dad: Ur da man

[merlins-girl]

Texting my dad and he asked me what I was doing tonight. I told him that I was going to watch Doctor Who.

He then responded with: "Who?"

He thinks he's a comedian...

[waitingforthedusktokilltheday]

YAY for the English majors.

Me: Just thought I'd thank you for the good writing skills. I'm embarassed to say that the paper I just proofread was a college student's instead of a 5th grader's.

Dad: Though the ways we communicate are different, the need to do it well remain. Thanks you made my day.

[annotations]

the world is my oyster?

Being a relatively new iPhone owner, I have only recently become accustomed to the inadvertent comedy of its autocorrect. It's boring territory! Nobody ever liked autocorrect jokes and wait a minute everybody LOVED autocorrect jokes i can remember i was there. Uh. But sometimes autocorrect does NOT intervene.

For example, my father texts me frequently, often solicitous about my general well-being. I often use the phrase "Everything is good," because I'm literally bursting with amazing ways to describe my well-being, and I don't want to hurt my Dad with amazing poetry blasts from English Language Skillz Heaven. But I have big thumbs. So sometimes "everything is good" comes out as "everything is food." Autocorrect doesn't fix it, because food is a word. That sneaky "F" is right next to the cowardly "G."

The point is: saying "Everything is food" actually conveys the sentiments of "Everything is good" way way better than "Everything is good."

"Hey, man. How are you?"

Oh. Everything is food, man. Everything is food."

"Awesome."

"Awesome."

High fives for everyone.

[goodtunesandkittens]

Family conversations via text

Me: Some crazy crackhead with a mouth full of chocolate just came up to me and professed his love for me.  He said he loved me at first sight and got up in my face and kept asking me to kiss him.  Talk about making a gal feel like a million bucks!

Dad: You d'man!

Me: Hellz yeah!  All these bitches know I got mad game.

Dad: You sure the guy had chocolate in his mouth and not shit... ha ha.

My dad is the funniest person alive.