#textmeplease

[toomuchtoaskfor]

I miss you.

[ufxxllikehome]

There are times I can leave my heart open.

There are days I believe I can heal wounds on me...

But right now I‘d like to see you and talk to you.

There are days I just miss you and miss the friend I lost in you . And I will never forgive myself for losing you,the person I needed the most.

I tried just to ignore you, to believe it would not hurt me , but it doesn’t work.

There are so many things I can’t tell you because I am afraid of. So many things which are not the same since you’ve been gone.

Can you imagine how amazing it would be for me to see you again and just laugh with you about random stuff?

Now when I turn 18 , I have only one wish. That this one person I would like to see this day, is not missing. And this person is exactly - You.

Maybe you’re reading this, maybe you’re not, but I still do care about you and every time you sent me a message I’ve been happy about it... don’t stop

[bildrenofchodom]

Music has been the only thing I can rely on these past few months when things have gotten rough. I know that it will be there, just wish you were.

[kareennino]

[jack-daniels-warms-my-heart]

I've been giving you your space because I thought that's what you wanted. But every day I just want to text you and talk or hang out all night like how we used to. I miss that. It's so hard not to text you, but I figured if you wanted to talk to me you'd text me. 😔 I want you so bad, you really have no idea....

[shes-a-lonley-stoner]

I want to get drunk and smoke and make out with you and feel something

[awalkingclock]

Why is it that as children we were praised for our first words, given trophies for our first successfully independent bathroom trips, had diploma ceremonies for graduating preschool, and a full banquet for junior high graduation? Why is it that dash two, even dash one high school kids are rewarded for following mandatory rules of attendance?

While we, the highest functioning of the student population, are consistently expected to pat ourselves on the back. I don't know what kind of reward, or simply recognition I'm suggesting, but no, it's not of the bragging variety. I don't want to be showcased as a "full of potential, promising youth" who is bedazzled and then shown her lofty seat. We are expected to have every achievement celebrated from within. 'Well don't you feel better now that paper is handed in? Now that presentation is over? Now that class is off your schedule?' Yes, I do, but sometimes internal recognition is not sufficient. Sometimes the looming goal of 7's and a care free summer don't cut it. Maybe I just need to know that something, anything that I do anymore might mean something. Maybe I would like to be rewarded for an accomplishment far beyond the regular course of development or mandated expectations.

I don't think that I'm better than any of you, and maybe you look at us with jealousy over the imagined special treatment. But maybe instead of a principle's speech outlining the criteria of obtaining a graduation gown, I need a speech telling me why I'm still doing what I'm doing. Maybe I need a teacher that doesn't degrade all of the work I do with one snarky comment. Maybe I need to talk to somebody who can once again tell me I'm just like everyone else. Don't worry, nothing special these feelings. They'll pass.

I feel like I've been dropped and left to fend for myself, because you've been preparing for this semester for three years, right? Why would you need motivation anymore, you're on the home stretch.

[awalkingclock]

How can I possibly complete a task I've already deemed insurmountable? I suppose by chipping away at the mountain with the same subconscious dexterity I used to build it up.

Yesterday, I woke up with almost a smile on my face and absolutely dominated a paper. Today, I can't bring myself to make eye contact with a relatively much more meaningful paper. How can I not bring myself to do the very thing that makes me feel so incredibly accomplished?

I've only tasted the personal success. I know this will be ten fold. So why, oh why can I not let anyone else in on this procrastination disaster? Please ask me what's wrong. Please tell me what I've done deserves praise, and what I will do is worth even more than my favourite accomplishment - personal satisfaction.