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listen hobbit pussy could be mediocre (doubtful) but even if it was it's still followed by a 17 course homecooked meal and the kind of weed that would make sauron scared. lithe beautiful immortal elven pussy has no power compared to the simple, hardworking hobbit. and it goes without saying that you cannot handle dwarven pussy.

#texttula #idk what i'm even saying anymore but deep down i know that i'm right

i'm your dirty little oilspill disaster duckling. you gotta bathe me in the sink like i'm the dishes

#texttula #i think this is how sex works

me on my real facebook seeing the hobbit pussy post get shared in a shitposting group yet again and reading all the comments

#texttula

I think someone was getting fingered in the row behind me at the amazing digital circus theatrical release

#i'm not fucking joking someone was moaning for like the whole second half of the finale. i wasn't the only one who heard it #GOOD FOR HER/HIM/THEM I GUESS BUT DAMN CAN YOU NOT GET TICKETS IN THE DEAD CENTER OF THE THEATER NEXT TIME #texttula

like I get that "waaahhh my post is too popular" sounds like such a stupid thing to complain about, but do you realize how jarring it is to just be scrolling on another site and suddenly see a screenshot of your own avatar + post submitted by someone else? and it's got a ton of engagement without any effort of your own or anyone knowing who the fuck you actually are. it feels like some truman show bullshit is happening to me. BILLIONS of people use the internet but I keep seeing myself recirculated like a jumpscare. it makes me want to forsake all technology and go be a woodland hermit. I bet if I tried to live with the amish one of those fuckers would still point to a paperback copy of the hobbit and ask me "OMG were you the hobbit pussy guy???"

#texttula

you ever wish you could like, dramatically and cartoonishly detonate leaving nothing but a pair of smoking shoes, but without actually causing permanent harm to yourself? I think it would do me a lot of good and get a lot of pent up frustration out if I could just scream and make myself explode like a source engine explosive barrel leaving nothing but a pile of ashes. and then just sigh and reform myself like nothing happened once I'm done throwing a fit. anyone else ever feel like this?

#texttula #sometimes i feel like i'd love to be immortal/invulnerable for the catharsis it would give me -#- to do all sorts of normally lethal and terrible things that occur as intrustive thoughts. as harmless stress relief.#- now when i get the intrusive urge to bl*w my br*ins o*t i could just do it and then spin my head back the right way like daffy duck #- i wouldn't use my invulnerability for heroic or noble shit. not for free anyway. it's all about being able to channel bad feelings into -#- very dramatic and violent but not actually harmful harm #- don't fucking commit me for this tangent i promise i'm fine i just don't know how to get these feelings out -#- and the only thing that sounds satisfying would be an impromptu woodchipper inspection

nickelodeon and sega: put jenny wakeman xj-9 in sonic racing crossworlds and my life is yours

#texttula #mlaatr #jenny wakeman #jenny xj9 #sonic racing crossworlds #PLEASE we're already getting spunchbob avatar and tmnt throw us another ip i'm begging you #she needs to be there with miku

semi-serious question: what makes three a perfect number of people for comedy, encourages, teams, etc. ? I'm talking three stooges, top gear, the ricky gervais show, sonic tails & knuckles, and countless others. three just feels like the right amount of people for reasons I'm struggling to put into words

#texttula #this post is probably dumb as fuck but it feels right in my heart #please reply if you have opinions on team sizes

#texttula

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