A long overdue explanation for a long-dead blog and plans moving forward
I think it’s time to be honest with myself and with everyone who may still follow this blog or even check tumblr regularly and I apologize for essentially ghosting on and off over the years. As per usual, more under the cut: what I’ve been up to and what I plan to do with the blog.
This blog has been around for eight years now. First of all, holy shit I’m old. I started this blog as a kid who was still figuring herself out and had a lot of growing and learning to do. My circumstances back then were incredibly different compared to now, and a lot of the reason I all but abandoned this blog was because confronting the type of person I used to present myself as, as well as confronting many memories and people associated with this blog was very scary and painful. I behaved in a very aggressive and rude way to protect myself from people taking advantage of me or being creepy, and it ended up breeding a lot of negativity that affected me way more than I realized. A lot of things have happened and the way I relate to the ABDL kink in general has changed a lot too. Arguably the biggest change is that I have a full time career that’s incredibly enriching but very time consuming and I can’t devote as much time to my hobbies as I want to.
Also, my life is currently controlled by my addiction to a certain popular MMO. If you know, you know.
I had fully intended to reboot the blog from the beginning with a more cohesive plot and a different spin on the characters that would, in my opinion, more closely represent the way they’re portrayed in the canon of the original webcomic. I thought that it might help me cope with some trauma and other demons I was battling that cropped up as a result of certain events and certain parties. Unfortunately, I’ve come to realize as a grown ass adult that I have severe hyperfocus issues. I was able to so passionately run ABDLstuck for years as it was my hyperfixation for a very long time, but the older I get the more often it seems to shift... and if I’m not fixated on it, finding motivation to engage can be very difficult. This is just something I’ve learned and accepted.
But you’ve heard enough about me. What you really want to know is what my plans are for the blog going forward, no doubt.
I’m going to be realistic: I do not want to commit to regular updates. I just can’t anymore. I would like to continue making attempts at a cohesive plot, but I’m concerned that months or even years between updates is simply unfair. In addition, I’ve spent many years grappling with some bad guilt and shame related to ABDL and it’s something I’m still trying to get past. For the time being, unless the eventual mega update/finale of homestuck^2 blows my fucking mind and reignites the passion I had for the franchise as a kid, I will probably call this blog officially retired. Like one of those old retired rock stars that does tours every now and then, though. Perhaps posting the occasional art will help me cope and my journey will also provide some art for people to enjoy.
If you stuck around until the end and made it this far, thank you. I appreciate the support and encouragement over the years. Homestuck’s fandom is a lot of things, but it’s passionate above all else. I’ll leave the inbox open, as it’s been.
