#tf2 headcanoning

[tearitar]

Thesis: you take some of the team's most genial, generally good-natured guys, and make them so fucking mad at each other by how the other person does science.

engie does get lowkey upset that demo and maybe medic have no college degrees. he's a higher education snob in crippling debt. his american student loans for all those degrees are biting him in the ass.

demo is entirely self taught and talented. he's making excellent beautiful bombs on a vibes based basis. medic can relate but this frankly drives engie insane with frustration (and envy)

medic will not say where his doctorate degree comes from. he has lost his certificate. supposedly.

my headcanon is that engie DOES have a medical degree (or has taken some college classes) tucked in the back of his head and whenever he tries to point this out to help medic, medic is like lmao stay in your lane while I pour blood back into scout's stomach danke 👍 (engie gritting his teeth and it's like "sure ok fine I need to remove myself from the room anyway.")

medic's beef with demo is that demo will not let him see his liver or kidneys, which by now should be so wonderfully preserved and wrinkled :(

demo is a man of science and the supernatural which, of course, makes both medic and engie kinda annoyed. That's double dipping, man. Again, demo is insanely talented and good with textbooks and magic tomes.

demo has never forgiven medic for visiting satan and not letting him tag along.

demo does think medic's a bit of a quack but he realizes he might be throwing stones in glass houses here. (due to his sexy hot crippling sense of self worth)

unfortunately for the rampant misogynistic tendencies of the 1960s and in-game taunts, demo calling medic a nursemaid does really grind medic's gears.

demo's blithe "it doesn't have to be exact it will all work out" vs engie's "measure twice cut once" vs medic's "measure once cut twice no prablam" approaches have, on occasion, led to fist fights in the rec room and the rest of the team (too dumb, too stupid to understand anything) just stand there, afraid of the scary nerds.

this is all compounded by the fact that they should in theory (lol) get along, and if it's not science related they find each other good company, but as it stands: their professional distaste for each other is funnier. to me.

Anyway. This all goes to explain:

[lyricalt]

I got a very sweet ask (who wanted to remain anon) about how I write (red) sniperspy, what I like to keep in mind, and key headcanons about how they show affection. In actuality I think I will just start some directionless blabbing, and I'm sorry in advance.

Without going too much about separate character headcanons for each of them, one of the things I like to play with between Sniper and Spy is how they show affection versus how they want to. I think, inherently, it's fun to think the two of them are incompatible at first blush. Just a bunch of contrasts and friction in lieu of, say, a crossfraction enemies to lovers type of dynamic. Just because I like to streamline things, samefraction allows me to bypass the emotional/mental/physical barriers of being enemies and strip it down a little further without the work of building up to it. (Obvs I'm not knocking crossfraction, I like that too but the mental hang ups of being enemies is a trope I've written and read for years so it does get tedious in my mind to have to address it over and over in writing. This subject is another post for later with a glass of wine, I think.)

In my head, Spy enjoys spoiling his love interests and being indulgent, lots of physical things like gifts and attention. I imagine a part of him likes the dramatics of a romance--for a spy, it's a very indulgent thing to get mentally swept up in, and he does have a flair for theatrics and gestures. It's so fun to have a character who is a romantic at heart but usually knows how to check himself (before he wrecks himself). Hence, his very obvious romantic relationship with Scout's ma. In this instance, especially in fics where I write him together with Sniper, his relationship with Scout's ma has sorta run its course, though he still holds a torch for her, LOL. Essentially, I write Spy as a guy who is usually cool and suave and can show a surface level of affection but never real intimacy in a way that is truly personal. (Truth By Omission really showcases this.)

With regards to Sniper, this man is a very hard person to spoil. He's taciturn and independent. Anything he wants, he'll get himself. His preferred gifts are more on the practical end, hardly romantic. He won't go out of his way to ask for shit. And he doesn't like attention on principle. I love to drive Spy insane with this. It's fun to think about Spy struggling with his way of showing affection versus what Sniper would actually appreciate. At the same time, I think Spy might find it fun himself. Because he's a bit of a bottled up modern-man-of-the-1960s loser in that way. I like writing this man as if he's slowly killing himself by how much affection he wants to give and can't show--because 1) sniper won't like it, and 2) he's a spy and it'll come off as so disingenuous. And worst, cheesy. (But, you know, it's all in the delivery; he's a good actor.) He's good at prodding and poking and testing boundaries. Trying to figure out Sniper is like giving a smart dog a snuffle mat puzzle for crumbs of mutual affection.

I like to think Sniper gets less aloof and thaws out a little the more he hangs with the team. It has less to do with Spy and more about seeing how the other guys act around each other. Scout in particular is such a good example for being touchy/feely/rowdy, having grown up with several brothers. Demoman. Engineer. I think Sniper is the least touchy of them all so the bar is low and he can only go up from there. I wouldn't say he's touch starved, more like he's never really thought of touching beyond gestures of camaraderie and perfunctory sex related touches. Suddenly getting paid attention to is, like, strange. But not bad.

And I'm not going so far as to say Sniper has daddy issues (depends on the fic I guess, I'm not married to it), but he does grow up with an unusual mindset about male affection or praise, platonic or otherwise. Idk when your dad rarely compliments you (and the things you like to do) and the national idol is Saxton Hale and also you're a mercenary with solitary inclinations, maybe you develop a weird outlook on male attention. Who could say. (Not even touching the adopted thing.)

(Basically: guy who is weird about intimacy because of his job (Spy) vs guy who gets less weird about intimacy because of his job (Sniper). Because I love contrasts.)

So, you know, here comes Spy with his very sharp observations and people-reading skills and Sniper is uncomfortable at first--but throw in being in a relationship together and it's a bunch of clashing expectations.

Not gonna lie, Sniper being flirted with like a dam with legs for days is novel. It's funny and amusing until it's kinda sweet. Getting his chair pulled out. Letting Spy hand him drinks. Little actions that make him relax a little more. Like, isn't this nice? Being casually attended to? Spoiled? Damn. The way I write Sniper a thing I try to keep in mind--he's someone who likes very specific amounts of attention and affection in short bursts before getting strung out.

Dog who has been introduced to fried chicken for the first time and is devouring everything in sight until he becomes sick of it.

In return, I think it's funny for Sniper to return affectionate gestures by being touchy and a little romantic (despite... feeling some type of way about it). Love to think about Spy losing his god damn mind the first time Sniper casually pecks him on the cheek for no discernible reason. For Sniper, being within proximity and being attentive is his way of showing affection, but with Spy he realizes quiet closeness isn't enough. He's got to be touchy--hence me writing shit like him tugging on Spy's sleeves, playing with Spy's gun holsters, and letting Spy in his space. Also pecks on the cheek.

Erm, and I know all this sounds so melodramatic but most of the time I try to go for subtlety when integrating these thoughts in fics. It's literally not that deep in practice. Guys dancing around each other's wants and boundaries.

there's sex headcanons tied to this but work is killing me with hammers to my face so alas, i'll end my piece here.

thanks for reading!

eta: whoops here's a practice character study snippet i wrote a long time ago. it's not really a fic i plan to upload. (nsfw)

Spy's taste in lovers is different than this. It's not like having a guileless kitten on his arm to spoil, one that looks at him with doe eyes and boosts his ego by being sweet and conciliatory, always dazzled by lavish gifts and indulgent attention. Sniper is none of these things. He's lofty and crude, and isn't the type to humor anyone with flattery that he'll perceive as insincere instead of playful. Spy has higher bars set yet he lowers himself to his knees to suck Sniper off in the washroom with only the satisfaction of Sniper's wordless growls and cum over his mask when the deed is done. Then Spy has the ever present reminder that Sniper insists on returning the favor. Eye for an eye. An equal exchange. Sniper's hard to spoil, for gifts and for actions. He's not impressed by money, and why would he be? He makes enough himself to get what he wants. That's not even addressing sniper's lack of materialism, less maintained by the storage of his camper and more by his own habits.

[lyricalt]

snsp coffee/morning headcanons here for no reason

RED Sniper: reg in the morning, as much as he can before mid morning, then strict decaf. black, no cream/no sugar due to laziness. not a morning person.

BLU Sniper: strict decaf all the time, gets jittery hands otherwise. black, NO sugar (jitters!) NO cream. urine output like you would not believe. morning person.

RED Spy: any coffee any time, as long as it has a net worth of over $15 per cup. anything cheaper you can visibly see his energy being siphoned away. he's immune to caffeine but likes the taste (bc of all the antidotes already in his system). cream and sugar ok but only because he's trying to sus out rsniper's preferences. morning person.

BLU Spy: coffee tolerance so high it could kill a child. this is useless, as he takes his coffee with so much cream the WHO cannot legally classify it as coffee, but perhaps "a milk-based drink for babies". bspy is a "i wake up" person. not an early bird, not night owl, a 3rd worst thing (alive)

[lyricalt]

no one asked for this but here's a little chart about how i will usually write and differentiate RED and BLU spies (in the context of RED Sniper/Spy, and lighthearted tone of the fic). my mind palace is in shambles.

For some fics I'll have the spies know each other pre-RED/BLU (ie; going to the same university, being amicable ex-husbands for tax fraud, etc) or them meeting during the RED/BLU contracts and Spy Union meetings.