For those who might be confused, "if a work of fiction makes you uncomfortable or upset, stop engaging with it and continue curating your viewing experience" still applies even if said work is made by someone you hate.
Me: "I love KPDH, but it's frustrating that the movie seemingly relegated anything queer to subtext or background detail while only openly and explicitly portraying heterosexual attraction; which it frequently does in a way that is slapstick to the point of feeling obnoxiously jarring and makes it feel like it's meant to loudly deflect from any interpretation of the main characters' incredible chemistry as indicating a sapphic relationship or them experiencing sapphic attraction to each other."
Random: "Queer women can be attracted to men too!"
I'll never forgive tiktok for popularizing censorship around death. I saw someone use the term "unalive" to refer to Epstein victims. Like be so for real. Do you hear yourself? Fuck the algorithm, learn to use your adult words when talking about real, actual atrocities, or don't fucking talk about them.
Things don't go as expected when Wind tries to use the command melody on the weird statue he found by a pond.
based off my musings here
Wind had spotted the strange statue while visiting Hateno village in Wild's era. He'd been exploring around a pond while some of the others did shopping. Spotted it the night before gin into town because of the fireflies. He'd taken the first chance to explore he got.
Of course the bugs weren't out in the daytime. Unfortunately… But the weird statue was definitely something interesting at least. It looked, sort of like the goddess statues Wild had pointed out a few times. Just with horns and a distinct air of mischief.
The Sailor had messed around with it For the better part of an hour. Poking it, brushing off some of the detritus that had compiled on top of it, Giving it a little frog hat… In his defense It was a very distinguished frog.
If Wind was being honest it was a rather well made statue under all the grime. If not a little unnerving. He liked the wings at least. Even if it was coated in dirt…
There WAS water RIGHT there…
A thought began Forming in Wind's mind. He didn't currently have his power bracelets on him. Left them in the in with the majority of his stuff. He couldn't pick up the statue without them by the looks of it.
One attempt later proved that point.
He didn't want to go all the way back right now. But he still had one more option to try.
He'd never used the command melody a whole lot. Imposing his will over another always felt a little wrong to him unless necessary, But he also knew he'd been able to control those statues in the tower of the gods…
There was no harm in attempting it right? What was the worst that could happen!
Wind pulled out the windwaker where he kept it tucked into his belt. Grinning tot he statue as he lifted his arms.
"Ready for a bath?" He asked. Familiar notes drifting on the wind.
The demon in the statue, the Horned statue, Granter of boons, bargainer, cursed. They had long since forgotten their true name. Not that it mattered much to them. As far as it was concerned It didn't need them.
name or no name they could make deals. and deals where what they loved best. If only one particular goddess hadn't TRAPPED them here, They would be able to make a lot MORE of them. Instead of just sitting here.
The fireflies got old really quickly.
At least that one hero had been interesting enough. Though all ways so SUSPICIOUS. It wasn't it's fault people had these things called "morals". Honestly so boring, what did it matter if ones soul got a little damaged while they did their work. It hadn't been destroyed!
And so what the people they used to make deals with didn't always use their newfound power to do "good" things. It wasn't THEIR fault some people where stupid and got caught.
Overall They thought getting sealed in a rock was a bit of an overreaction.
no one even bothered to clean them. That was until one new young hylian stumbled into their life. Or pond. It was the same thing really with how things had been going.
The statue could feel something was definately different about this one. Different like that other hero but also somehow other than that entirely. This one didn't feel Hylia claimed.
At least not mainly hylia claimed. There was a bit of a connection. The ties to another unknown deity or deities far outweighed it though.
The young man had grabbed their attention for sure. Even if all they did was poke around them for a half hour.
The frog hat was nice though.
What happened right after was FAR more interesting. The hylian had taken out an object of clear divine power, playing a song as the statue felt their minds connect.the hold of the old binding curse loosened. If it could smile a grin would have spit their face.
It felt like losing all weight and substance. And simultaneously being punted like a coconut. That's how Wind would describe the few moments after the weir statue started talking to him.
Surprisingly this wasn't the first time a statue spoke to him. Nor did Wind believe it would be the last. It was a far more common experience than one might actually think.
But those didn't end in Wind being EVICTED FROM HIS OWN BODY!
Since that is the only explanation he could think of hovering over himself as he remained standing. Twitching ever so slightly. Then lurching forward like a puppet being controlled by an amateur puppeteer.
"Rude, how about YOU try being stuck in a stone statue for centuries and then try walking." Wind's body turned to look up at him, eyes now looking all sorts of wrong.
Wind blinked. did he just… what-
"Yes I'm speaking to you, Wow is it nice to have a mouth again. so many more deals in the making hehe…"
Okay that voice sounded so wrong coming from his own mouth.
"yea your probably right… hmmm."
Wind watched his face contort as whatevere was controlling him seemed to concentrate. It cleared it's throat, His throat? This was so weird and so wrong.
"How about this? Ugh I sound like a chipmunk. You should really work on your voice kid."
'Hey!' Wind exclaimed 'you stole MY body! don't insult me!' The words only seemed to sound in Wind's mind. Not ever really leaving his currently incoportal mouth. Did he even have a body at all? Kind of like a ghost?
"Eh, You have a mental perception of a body you could probably make visible to yourself. or me. That's about it. Not actually anything there." Not-wind replied to the mental question. Waving a wobbly hand through the space Wind occupied.
'Give me back my body.' he hissed. Or mentally hissed.
"No." Not-Wind turned back around. As if this was the most nonchalant conversation to ever be having.
'my brothers are going to figure out it's not me in there and then you'll be in for a lot more of a world of hurt than if you don't just let be back in NOW.'
Not-Wind laughed "pfft- How would they know!"
Wind just glared, very clearly pictureing the strange Monster eque orange-red-purple eyes wind's body now sported.
"Ah yea that." The intruder squeezed Wind's eyes shut and shook his head. Opening them to reveal Wind's now much more normal grey eyes. "Better?"
Wind was stunned for a moment. then 'NO THAT IS NOT BETTER! I DON"T WANT YOU TO FIT IN!!'
"Rude."
You can't just- that's MY body!
"And me and your body are going to go do some body needed activities. I'd say see you later but your along for the ride weather you like it or not!"
The anger Wind felt seemed like it would light up the space he was floating in like a giant firefly.
"Emotions don't do that. Unless you have fire powers. Or obnoxious light powers."
Wind decided to ignore that statement. This was going to be a long day. but it WOULD end in wind back in his own body if it killed him.
