Totally not a supervillain

Writing for fun and stress relief. I promise I'm not as scary as I seem

[ayamari-no-goshi]

About me

Feel free to call me Goshi for short or Rune. I’ll answer to both. If you like my work, you can also find me on ff.net or AO3. And I promise I don’t bite… well, I don’t bite much.

Dunno why you’d want to know, but I’m just a normal person who likes to write in her spare time. And I’ve dealt with way too much drama over the past few years.

Interests include: sweets, Asian food, cats, folklore, toxicology, weaponry, criminal psychology, and various fandoms - the more actiony the better.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I was road tripping this past weekend to go to a concert, and I was listening to Muse’s new album.

Their song “Shimmering Scars” is so Jason coded.

Their songs “Won’t Stand Down” and “Kill or be Killed” (both the normal and the remix are good for different reasons) from their previous album are also super Jason coded.

So if you want inspiration for fanfics, I recommend these. (I also just recommend Muse in general)

[ayamari-no-goshi]

For anyone out there…

If you’re in a relationship where you’ve been physically hurt by your partner, please do whatever you need to do to get out.

We like to say love is blind, but it shouldn’t turn a blind eye to violence. Please, please don’t stick it out. Please don’t assume things will get better. Please don’t go back to that person, even if they whisper sweet words or threats.

Your life is worth more than that

[cicanddesist]

Another thing is how every time Jason is facing certain death as Robin, he's fully prepared for it. This twelve-year-old should not be so ready to die.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

That’s a valid way of looking at it, but there is another interpretation. (I apologize ahead of time for the rambling because it’s 6am)

Children who are introduced to death is at a young age, whether it be due to a family member’s passing or having had a near death experience (sometimes both), don’t always develop a fear of dying.

Instead, sometimes the mentality becomes more along the lines of “if it happens, it happens, and it’s okay.” And while the child might not have a full understanding of death, because this mindset can occur very early, they at least know it’s part of the process of life. And that can cause some interesting quirks, which can include what some would consider unusual environmental response to life threatening events/injuries.

For example, if you have this mindset and you’re with another person, you might be more focused on protecting or comforting that person because they’re the one who is afraid, not you, even if you’re the one hurt. Or, you’re being attacked, and you’ve decided that if it’s your time, you’re going to try to take your attacker with you. Or, if it’s something like a fire, it might be more along the lines of “this isn’t a pleasant way to go. Is there a way to avoid this?”.

So, it’s honestly just as possible Jason’s already come to terms with the fact he could die at any time, which is a real possibility with his upbringing (one could argue that by itself is a trauma response). And to him, that’s okay. Dying isn’t a problem. But, Bruce is with him, so he has to make sure Bruce knows that he’s okay with that, which I think is the more important thing here. He wants to give some form of comfort to his father because his father is worried.

I very much understand that mindset as I pulled something like this on my own mother. It made her panic more, but I was 5 at the time, coming out of shock, and thought I was being comforting. It’s fine.

But you know who wouldn’t be fine? Bruce. If he remembered it clearly, which he might not have due to the events leading up to that panel, the idea that his kid is fine with dying in such a way is going to be traumatic. But we all know he doesn’t process trauma well and bottles it.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I’d like to clear up some common misconceptions about the Attack on Titan Tower, aka when Jason infiltrated it to attack Tim

If you want to read this for yourself, here are some links: readallcomics - I have the best luck with this site on destop zipcomic readcomicsonline - this site can be temperamental

1) Jason did not go there to attempt to kill Tim

Jason seems to have 3 separate goals for this: - size up the new kid. - make sure he knows Bruce just sees him as another soldier - prove to Tim just how dangerous the job is (heavily implied, in my opinion, especially after Tim tried telling Jason he was wrong about how Bruce saw him) He also voiced his anger over being forgotten by everyone. Depending on your interpretation of Jason and his character, this could also be a reason. To me, this feels more like an afterthought because they moved to the Hall of Fallen Heroes before he said this, and Jason likes to be dramatic.

Side note on this. Jason never says anything about being replaced.

2) none of Tim’s injuries were life threatening

Once again, Jason was not attempting to kill him. He beat him up pretty badly, but it was designed to prove a point

3) Jason did NOT cut Tim’s throat.

That happened during Hush which predates both Under the Red Hood and Titan’s Tower. Jason was pretending to be Hush, put a knife to Tim’s throat, and put enough pressure to make him bleed (it was not an actual slice) to get Bruce to react to him. That injury was not life threatening either

Edit: I’ve seen some comments about the ‘not life threatening’ statement. Yes, it needed stitches, but it wasn’t spurting blood, therefore not life threatening. Just because you’re bleeding from a neck injury, it doesn’t mean you’re at an immediate risk of dying (spoken from experience). It’s if the carotid artery or jugular vein are cut that it’s a problem, and you’ll know if that happens because of SO MUCH BLOOD. You will bleed out within minutes.

The way it’s portrayed, it’s not a life threatening injury

4) Jason developed a respect and a bit of envy for Tim after fighting him

At the end of the issue while he’s leaving (while outside the tower), Jason acknowledges Tim’s skill. Jason also wonders if he could have had a life more similar to his, where he had friends and a better support system, if he could have had a different life.

5) Tim was NOT a damsel in distress during the fight, and he did NOT develop a fear of Jason.

Tim was making quips and dissing Jason the entire fight. Tim was not afraid of him nor did he bat an eye at being attacked by Jason. He also vocalized just how much he had to work for his cape because of how Jason's death affected Bruce

Also, the next time Tim saw Jason after this, he made sure to kick Jason in the groin

6) Jason wrote "Jason Todd was here" and signed it with a hand print on the wall.

It looks like it could be in blood, but Tim's not injured enough for there to be that much... and blood darkens after a while. There's a bit of time between Tim getting knocked out and the rest of the Titans finding him and the writing so it's probably paint. Again, Jason likes to be dramatic

7) more Robin!Jason slander by Raven

Once again, we get the mention that Jason was "aggressive". I swear, this is the only thing writers remember from Death in the Family and not the point that that behavior was out of the ordinary for Jason. This is a personal pet peeve of mine in the comics.

8) almost forgot to add the most important part, Jason made a homemade Robin costume and wore it under his Red Hood outfit because he could

Again, Jason is a dramatic bitch.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Once again, I have seen someone present this event as Jason trying to kill Tim. Therefore, it is time to reblog.

I am on a mission™️

Also, before I forget, if you want to see the difference between a potentially fatal and non-fatal neck injury, compare Tim’s injury from Jason in Hush to Jason’s injury from the Batarang in UtRH.

Jason’s injury in UtRH should have been fatal. You can tell by the amount of blood. That needed to have been treated immediately for any chance of survival.

Tim’s injury in Hush didn’t bleed much (aka it didn’t spurt), showed no signs of damage to the trachea, and was mostly superficial - while it was stated to have needed stitches, it was not anywhere close to being fatal.

I need to do a post breaking down those injuries one of these days

[ayamari-no-goshi]

One of these days I need to go through the sword collection, take pictures, and actually break down specifics about them.

“Why?” you may ask.

Because the easiest way to break me out of fantasy is seeing people using them incorrectly. There are a lot of swords not designed to be held by 2 hands.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

At work, I have a coworker so scared of being in the building by herself that it seems like she might quit.

Then there’s me that has ran to the front of the building because I misheard a different coworker, thought someone was trying to break in, and made the split second decision that they were going to have to get through me to do it. I have also told the building’s resident ghost to fuck off a time or 2 while I was alone (Fred the ghost has a bad habit of moving things).

The duality of man.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I have to do some on-call shifts this week and next for *reasons* and my one cat has already voiced his displeasure over it.

This ~14lb behemoth of a cat sounds like a small child screaming. So unfortunately, anyone who has to talk to me while on-call might get to hear the lovely sounds of a cat yelling at me for being on the phone passed what he thinks is bedtime.

He's done this before during on-call. A nurse got a huge kick out of him audibly yelling at me to go to bed every couple minutes in April (it was a long call about dosing an IV drug). A different nurse got to hear what it sounded like when this same cat decided to start chewing on my laptop during a call.

Apparently he's decided that if he can't have peace, no one can.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I love that when someone asks about how one goes about doing a questionable thing for fic research, that the BatPham discord has gotten to the point where it’s just: Ask Goshi. Either she knows or knows where you can find that info.

I have a lot of random knowledge. This is the reason everyone thinks I’m a supervillain

@batpham-discord-highlights

[ayamari-no-goshi]

While I’m not as active in the community as I used to be, I am still a useful resource for this type of information.

I don’t mind being asked questions about things like this. To be honest, it’s kinda fun.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I told a coworker recently I can’t safely eat grapes and most things made from them due to my sulfite allergy. Which sucks, because I used to love red grapes.

This fucker then proceeded to describe to me, in detail, about how he used to regularly drive by the vineyards a certain major company uses for their products and occasionally stop and steal grapes. He also included what they taste like.

And I’m like, “why would you do that to me after I just told you I can’t have them? Now I’m going to be craving grape, again.”

*weird side note on the sulfite allergy. Grapes naturally absorb sulfites from the ground making them a big thing to avoid. Raisins are weirdly usually safe in small amounts due to their processing, but they’re not, in my opinion, adequate substitutions.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

This is the 2nd part of what I have written regarding the idea the I posted the other day. You can find part 1 here. This has been written for a while.

Frustration flickered across the imposter’s face before anger and then resignation replaced it. “Shoulda guessed you wouldn’t remember me. You weren’t around a lot, and B didn’t really want me away from Gotham. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I died.” Shaking his head, he stood up. “Guess I really wasn’t family…”

That didn’t really answer the question. The imposter hadn’t dropped the act, but at the same time, it really didn’t seem like he was acting. That bitterness seemed real. A clone, maybe?

“If you’re who I think you are, tell me something only you’d know.”

“Mmm… like how furious you were when you found out B gave me the suit, but you eventually gave me your blessing? Or how you took me train surfing when you interrupted my Gauntlet? And how you wouldn’t let me see what was happening to Agent A when we were on the roof trying to rescue him by covering my eyes?” His expression momentarily darkened. “Or how about when you pulled me out of bed to put me in a headlock the night we first met because Agent A decided to put me in your room while mine was being set up? Do you need more?”

As the teen spoke, Dick felt like the world dropped out from under him. While some of that knowledge could have been discovered by his or Bruce’s enemies, no one would have known anything about what happened in the Manor itself. Only those who were there would. So, this had to be… it had to be Jason.

Pulling himself up, he ignored his screaming muscles as he pulled his younger brother into a bone breaking hug. Initially stunned by the sudden movement, Jason eventually returned the gesture. It wasn’t the sort of light hug Jason was known for giving. Instead, it felt desperate as if Dick’s presence was some sort of lifeline.

“I’m sorry I had to check,” he whispered as he realized his brother was bigger than he remembered, as if he’d grown a few inches. The unpleasant musty odor of dirt and sweat wafted off of him suggesting it’d been a while since he was able to get clean. “It’s been about two years, Jay. How long…?” He had to choke back his tears of joy. This was a second chance for both of them. “How long has it been since you’ve been back?”

Jay pulled away and hugged himself in discomfort. “I don’t know. I don’t..” He shook his head before running his hand along his facial scars. “I remember my mom, the Joker, and the explosion… then there’s nothing until the feel of dirt, the smell of a hospital, and wandering with a vague idea of heading somewhere. I’ve only been fully aware of things the last couple days or so… after falling in that burning water.”

“‘Burning water’?” Dick repeated slowly as notice the strange glint in his brother’s eyes again.

“It made my body feel like it was burning from the inside out… like I was dying again.” Jason shivered at the memory. “I know I ran, but things aren’t super clear until the burning stopped. Then I found myself here.” He gestured non-specifically to the alley, suggesting he meant Gotham in general. “It looks like Gotham, but everything feels off.”

“It feels off…?” Was that a side effect of coming back to life? Or whatever he was put in?

“The city feels different. It’s like everything’s been moved slightly to the left.” He glanced up as a frustrated noise escaped him. “I remember hearing that sometimes you end up in a temporary place before you go where you’re supposed to. Maybe that’s it?”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Dick argued. Disorientation after somehow coming back to life could easily explain why things didn’t feel right. Or, it could be as simple as Jay noticing some differences in the nearby buildings that weren’t there two years ago, and it threw him off. Besides, Dick could physically touch his brother. “I’m here with you.”

Jason’s expression could only be read as unimpressed. “Do you even know how you got here? Speaking of which, we still need to check you for injuries.”

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I have an idea for a fic I’ve been working on on and off (burn out is a bitch), and I wish to share it.

So, it is canon in the mainline universe that there is a Lazarus Pit somewhere under Gotham. My brain decided to play the what if game regarding this.

What if, during the time period Jason was walking the streets in his daze after coming back to life somehow ended up in that Pit? No one brought him to it (save maybe Gotham herself if you want to play with a sentient city), and he comes to alone, confused, and with the echoes of the injuries that ended his life.

For my fic, I have him running into Dick, who fell (due to plot), because he heard the crash. Dick, who isn’t sure if he has a concussion or not is staring at what might be the ghost of his brother. And Jason has somewhat convinced himself he’s still dead and is trying to keep Dick alive until help can arrive.

But that was my idea. You guys do you

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I’ve been slowly trying to write this, but I really do feel tapped out regarding inspiration on like everything.

So, here’s part of what I have. Maybe posting will help motivate me:

“Hey, are you going to sleep all night? Or are you going to get up?”

The voice that managed to rouse him from unconsciousness sounded familiar and familial. He couldn’t place the name. Had it been that long since he’d heard the voice? But, if someone he knew was talking to him, then he had to be safe, at least for now.

As he tried to move, stars temporarily filled his vision. He must have hit his head pretty badly. A concussion? Maybe, but he didn’t feel nauseous. At least not yet. Small victories.

“Wait, are you hurt?” Honest surprise could be heard in the familiar voice. “Shit. Come on, Dick. Wake up.”

Groaning slightly, Dick forced open his eyes, and for a moment, his vision swam. After blinking a few times, he found himself on the ground in one of the various back alleys in Gotham. To his right, a teenager was nervously kneeling next to him with his left hand outstretched as if he was ready to shake his shoulder.

For a moment, Dick thought it was Tim. But why would Tim be in civies and trying to wake him up in an alley? Blinking again, he noted the teen was wearing a red hoodie and torn up jeans. Both were smudged with dirt, as was his face. But his face belonged to someone long since dead.

He had to be hallucinating again. Just how hard did he hit his head when whatever happened happened for him to be seeing his dead brother? He tried to sit up, but the hallucination gently put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“Whoa! Don’t move too much yet. I need to check for injuries,” the hallucination told him. There was an edge to the voice that was somewhere between firm and exasperated.

“You changed your costume. Looks a heck of a lot better, but I have no clue where anything is…” it muttered as it looked him over. “Where are you hiding the pen light in this thing?”

“There’s a hidden compartment near my right ankle,” he replied, somewhat amused by the response. “You like the change?”

“Yeah, you don’t look like an out of place disco dancer anymore.”

“I’ll have you know that suit was a classic… Ow!” The sudden light shining in his eye from the light the hallucination somehow managed to find hurt. Actually, how did it do that?

“You can’t excuse that collar or the V-neck, Dick,” the hallucination said as it turned the light off and sighed. “At least your pupils are reacting normally. Can you follow my finger with your eyes?”

The hallucination leaned closer so it could preform the necessary test. As the spots from the sudden bright light faded, Dick studied its face. He didn’t quite look the same as he remembered. This Jason looked slightly order than when he died. Fresh scars could be seen on his skin, with the worst fading into his hairline where a touch of white could be seen at the base of his bangs. His eyes, vivid blue with a strange green glint, were both focused and concerned.

While those scars betrayed what happened to him, Jason looked so real and alive that Dick gave into the impulse to reach his hand up and touch his brother’s face. Instead of finding nothing but air, his hand touched something very real and solid. Alarmed, Dick sat up and scooted backwards away from whatever that was.

“I don’t think you should be moving yet,” the imposter said as he reached out but aborted the movement when he noticed Dick’s defensive posture.

“Who are you?” he snarled as he reached for an escrima stick. The movement hurt, but it just felt like a combination of stiffness and forming bruises.

Frustration flickered across the imposter’s face before anger and then resignation replaced it. “Shoulda guessed you wouldn’t remember me. You weren’t around a lot, and B didn’t really want me away from Gotham. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I died.” Shaking his head, he stood up. “Guess I really wasn’t family…”

[ayamari-no-goshi]

So… back when I worked downtown… I uh… had a bit of a spat with a person who was acting like an entitled prick and interrupting me while I was in the middle of clearly helping someone else.

This was not something I tolerated so this person got told off, and it was enough to make them immediately back down as they weren’t expecting my temper.

Anyways, I found out recently this same person is wanted for a murder that occurred a few years before this spat. 🙃

And I know it’s the same person because you always remember your first (person who you yelled at for being a prick).

A friend who still works at that place told me I have my pick of a classic horror movie theme.

This is my life.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Am I allowed to go one year without helping to kickstart a federal investigation????

People, please. Prescription forgeries and drug diversion are illegal. We have to report it

[ayamari-no-goshi]

.... this has been my entire weekend... basically helping a nurse start an investigation

[ayamari-no-goshi]

This came up again in a recent discussion.

It’s a bit unclear how much Jason has talked about his time with the All-Caste. In Batman and Robin: Eternal (2015) there’s a panel that for the life of me I can’t find cuz I’m not sure of the issue but I know it’s when Jason’s affected by Ichthys and his ability to fear is being re-written. Tim is able to interrupt the process and mentions Jason’s All-Caste training. (edit: either I imagined this panel or I'm seeing panels from alternate realities cuz I cannot find it again)

Knowing how Jason is, it’s doubtful he would have told anyone in his family. Why would any of them know about it?

So, I propose the reason anyone knows about this is because of Roy. Why? Please picture the following convo:

Roy to Dick, off-handedly, while they’re catching up after the Outlaws went their separate ways: yeah, and you wanna know what else is weird, Jason glows

Dick: I’m sorry, what? Is this some weird Lazarus thing we should know about?

Roy: no, he glows when he meditates due to some weird mark from this supernatural group he trained with. And he has these weird bronze swords that are attached to his soul or something

Dick, uncertain if he should actually be concerned or not: I’m going to need you to explain this to me

The panel from Red Hood and the Outlaws (2010) showing Jason does glow

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I finally found the panel again where Tim mentions Jason’s All-Caste training, (posting to prove this does exist), but it wasn’t where I thought it was.

I know it’s New 52 era based on Jason’s helmet. It might not be in Batman and Robin: Eternal like I first thought. Instead, it might be related to the We Are Robin storyline. Unfortunately, I don’t know.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I’d like to clear up some common misconceptions about the Attack on Titan Tower, aka when Jason infiltrated it to attack Tim

If you want to read this for yourself, here are some links: readallcomics - I have the best luck with this site on destop zipcomic readcomicsonline - this site can be temperamental

1) Jason did not go there to attempt to kill Tim

Jason seems to have 3 separate goals for this: - size up the new kid. - make sure he knows Bruce just sees him as another soldier - prove to Tim just how dangerous the job is (heavily implied, in my opinion, especially after Tim tried telling Jason he was wrong about how Bruce saw him) He also voiced his anger over being forgotten by everyone. Depending on your interpretation of Jason and his character, this could also be a reason. To me, this feels more like an afterthought because they moved to the Hall of Fallen Heroes before he said this, and Jason likes to be dramatic.

Side note on this. Jason never says anything about being replaced.

2) none of Tim’s injuries were life threatening

Once again, Jason was not attempting to kill him. He beat him up pretty badly, but it was designed to prove a point

3) Jason did NOT cut Tim’s throat.

That happened during Hush which predates both Under the Red Hood and Titan’s Tower. Jason was pretending to be Hush, put a knife to Tim’s throat, and put enough pressure to make him bleed (it was not an actual slice) to get Bruce to react to him. That injury was not life threatening either

Edit: I’ve seen some comments about the ‘not life threatening’ statement. Yes, it needed stitches, but it wasn’t spurting blood, therefore not life threatening. Just because you’re bleeding from a neck injury, it doesn’t mean you’re at an immediate risk of dying (spoken from experience). It’s if the carotid artery or jugular vein are cut that it’s a problem, and you’ll know if that happens because of SO MUCH BLOOD. You will bleed out within minutes.

The way it’s portrayed, it’s not a life threatening injury

4) Jason developed a respect and a bit of envy for Tim after fighting him

At the end of the issue while he’s leaving (while outside the tower), Jason acknowledges Tim’s skill. Jason also wonders if he could have had a life more similar to his, where he had friends and a better support system, if he could have had a different life.

5) Tim was NOT a damsel in distress during the fight, and he did NOT develop a fear of Jason.

Tim was making quips and dissing Jason the entire fight. Tim was not afraid of him nor did he bat an eye at being attacked by Jason. He also vocalized just how much he had to work for his cape because of how Jason's death affected Bruce

Also, the next time Tim saw Jason after this, he made sure to kick Jason in the groin

6) Jason wrote "Jason Todd was here" and signed it with a hand print on the wall.

It looks like it could be in blood, but Tim's not injured enough for there to be that much... and blood darkens after a while. There's a bit of time between Tim getting knocked out and the rest of the Titans finding him and the writing so it's probably paint. Again, Jason likes to be dramatic

7) more Robin!Jason slander by Raven

Once again, we get the mention that Jason was "aggressive". I swear, this is the only thing writers remember from Death in the Family and not the point that that behavior was out of the ordinary for Jason. This is a personal pet peeve of mine in the comics.

8) almost forgot to add the most important part, Jason made a homemade Robin costume and wore it under his Red Hood outfit because he could

Again, Jason is a dramatic bitch.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Every time I see someone post something incorrect about the attack on titan’s tower, it’s time to reblog.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I was looking for my ‘things to research list’ I have on my phone, and I stumbled across the following quotes.

I’m not sure when this happened or exactly who originally said them, save for the first one. That was definitely me