#thatjessjohnson

[nympheline]

Being a Compilation of the Sort of Self-Celebration that has Many Individuals Shaking their Heads in Disdain, or

I Couldn’t Narrow it Down Any Further Because I’m So Goddamn Precious: An Adventure in Six Eight Parts.

Part 1: Naked Girl Reading (with mascot/prop) Part 2: A Woze in Wolf’s Clothing Part 3: A Dog and His Girl Part 4: We Filter Because We Care Part 5: Paintball and Tough Mudder: A Musing in Owch Minor Part 6: Sometimes a Cigar is Just a Deep and Irredeemable Desire to be Kara Thrace Part 7: Baby’s First Bee Sting Part 8: So Say We All, or I Was Serious About the Kara Thrace Thing

[nympheline]

happiness the third: the uncountable kindnesses

this is the story of you and me…

professorfangirl gave me the lightless ocean where only monsters, and those who feed on monsters, live; she gave me does on my natal day. she saw the sort of me i want to be in lines others wrote. she read to me in my low moments, read to me in my high. once upon a time, she called me a poet. i never knew it about myself until that moment.

small things make my eyes wide, my heart swell. once upon a time, risilovesink knocked on my blog door with something of mine married to something of hers in her little, lovely hands; and she took hold of me; and she’s never since let me go.

once upon a many times, i despaired. i dreaded. i had an all around horrid day. and storyqdayx5d? she rewrote it for me. popped it in the aether and sent it my way. made me smile, clutch my phone to my chest, and smile harder. 

thatjessjohnson laid some stories in my mouth as i slept. once upon a time, i knotted them about themselves like cherry stems, and i gave them back to her; and in return, she gave me the company of wolves, and myself as i wished to be when i was too small to know that my wants were impossible.

and more, and more: too many to count, too many to recount. so the ever-so-significant-in-fairy-tales third of my happinesses must be you: 24-alpha-24, aderyn, crownedinwood, emmadelosnardos, havingbeenbreathedout, jerusalemsunrise, professorfangirl, risilovesink, storyqdayx5d, thatjessjohnson, verymorstan, and, oh, all of you.

[nympheline]

Would it be possible to tattoo you with strands of spider silk? Inlay the scales from a monarch's wing on the pads of your fingers? Suck the blood from the soil and grind it into an ink to writ words of daring on your side? Because, man, otherwise I'm not totally sure what would do you justice.

and anyone who dared pass me without caution would feel the wrath and work of me clinging to them, clouding their vision, crawling their skin—and every cheek i touched would echo, pollen blessed, with shades of umber and orange and nox—and i could pull strands of ichor from my sides and pass them on and feel the tug of every red thread through my loves’ dangers—and when i died, died, there would be nothing left but loam, and stories racing into the shoots of a hundred cypress knees.

yes.

[professorfangirl]

Kenneth Anger Truck Stop Hooker Daydream

Finally got the band back together. Just needed a good name. (Thanks, thatjessjohnson.) Think the Pixies covering Merle Haggard and you’ve about got it.

[ofgeography]

TBTTCH, part 1 of 2: So, I was just commissioned to illustrate two series of book covers, 3 and 4 covers each, respectively. (I'm an illustrator/special effects makeup artist, I run a tiny studio that's constantly struggling to justify its existence. I eat a lot of Top Ramen.) The best thing that could happen is that I just knock these bad boys out of the park, my client is so pleased with me that they go raving through the streets about my work ethic and unquenchable creative spirit...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, so NOT ONLY do you know these bad boys out of the park, but they're so good that all of a sudden EVERYONE in the book industry is like HEY THATJESSJOHNSON!!! DO YOU WANT TO LIKE, ILLUSTRATE THE COVER OF MY BOOK AND ALSO WE'RE MAKING IT A MOVIE, MAYBE YOU COULD DO THE MAKEUP?, and you're like golly gee gosh!!!! okay!!!!! so you do it and you win an academy award for best makeup and everyone is like HOLY SHIT, thatjessjohnson and her tiny studio are like, creative geniuses, let's hire them to do everything for us, always.

thatjessjohnson!!!! you are SWIMMING IN MONEY. your studio can expand!!! your creative verve has never been higher or brighter!!!! you are on Time's list of Most Influential!!!!! YOU GET INVITED TO TOM HANKS' BIRTHDAY PARTY, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE COOLEST CELEBRITY BIRTHDAY PARTY YOU COULD POSSIBLY GET INVITED TO.

GOD, YOUR LIFE IS SO GREAT.

[ofgeography]

Bit out of left field here, but I absolutely love your hockey book recommendations (and may possibly be tandem reading both "The Game" and "The Greatest Game" at the moment based entirely on your recs lists) and I was wondering of you'd ever read Jeff Lemire's "Essex County" graphic novels? They're fiction, but they tell a wonderful winding story about family and hockey and, incidentally, Canada. I just, I don't know, I think you might like them? If you'd like a fictional hockey palate cleanser.

i haven't read them, but by god that sounds JUST UP MY ALLEY. thank you so much for the rec!!! i'll see if i can track down a copy. 

AREN'T THEY BOTH SO GOOD, JESUS CHRIST.

(i just finished a biography of jacques plante by todd denault, who wrote the greatest game and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD, IT WAS SO GOOD, THATJESSJOHNSON IT WAS SO SO SO SO GOOD.) i'm going to make another reclist pretty soon, i just want to read a few more so it's a bit meatier.

anyway, like i said, thank you so much for the rec! i'm really excited to track them down and read them.

GUYS ANY TIME YOU WANT TO SEND ME RECS I AM H E R E FOR IT

[teazzle]

Rules: in a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. Tag some friends, including me, so I’ll see your list. Make sure you let your friends know you’ve tagged them!

American Gods, Neil Gaiman

The Once and Future King, T.H. White

Howl's Moving Castle, Diane Wynne Jones

Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

The Dresden Files, Jim Butcher cheating

His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman cheating

Good Omens, Neil Gaiman and Terry Prachett

John Dies at the End, David Wong

Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris

Which Witch?, Eva Ibbotson

I HAVE TO ADD ONE MORE. Stardust, Neil Gaiman

uhhhh The Last Unicorn, Peter S. Beagle

THE SPARROW, Mary Doria Russell

i ended up with 13, haaa

i was tagged by thatjessjohnson and i'm going to tag some people in the tags!

sorry i drafted this and then promptly forgot it existed

[thepymreaper]

thatjessjohnson replied to your post:lmfao are we still going on about this Martin...

I’d ask, “What Martin Freeman thing,” but I just remembered what website I’m on and how likely it is there’s no logic to be found if I knew anyway.

Dude it's not even worth going through I swear to god. I can sum up this website's relationship with him as such: he said a thing and half of tumblr got pissed and the other half got pissed at the half that's pissed with him.