the birthday countdown is switching fandoms today! (yes, shocking, but i do sometimes write about characters who aren’t anime clown pirates. 🤡) 911 friends, today i have for you a buck pov snippet that is probably not going to end up in the final draft of this fic because the story’s gonna work better with a limited pov, which i am calling the coma fic for misleading reasons the time being:
“So, uh. You guys have all known Tommy a long time, right?”
“Oh, sure.” Chimney takes a large bite out of his sandwich and says, “He was at the 118 before I was, if only by a year or so.”
“S-so, then. You’d know if…” Buck’s throat tries to close up on him. He takes a deep breath, presses his hands flat against the table to stop them trembling—why is this so hard?—and says, “If he was… uh. Into guys?”
Chewing around the table slows, then stops. Eddie’s staring a hole in the side of Buck’s head. Hen and Chim share a look.
Buck swallows thickly, his ears hot. Why are his ears hot? It’s a perfectly normal question!
(800 words below the cut)
“So, uh. You guys have all known Tommy a long time, right?”
“Oh, sure.” Chimney takes a large bite out of his sandwich and says, “He was at the 118 before I was, if only by a year or so.”
“S-so, then. You’d know if…” Buck’s throat tries to close up on him. He takes a deep breath, presses his hands flat against the table to stop them trembling—why is this so hard?—and says, “If he was… uh. Into guys?”
Chewing around the table slows, then stops. Eddie’s staring a hole in the side of Buck’s head. Hen and Chim share a look.
Buck swallows thickly, his ears hot. Why are his ears hot? It’s a perfectly normal question!
Bobby sets his sandwich down. “That’s an interesting question, Buck,” he says thoughtfully, setting his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers together. “Though as it happens, it’s one I don’t think I have an answer for. You know, you can know a person a long time—not that I knew Tommy very long—without knowing too much about them. You remember how… withholding I was, when you first joined us?” Buck nods; he remembers all too well. “I saw Tommy as something of a kindred figure in that way, keeping a large portion of himself to himself.” He turns to look at Chim and Hen. “Did you have that impression, Hen? Chimney?”
Hen is busy on her phone.
Chimney nods. “When I first joined, yeah. Turned out they’d lost a couple guys that year, people Tommy had been close with. Guess he didn’t want to get to like another new guy just to lose him. Once I proved that I knew what I was doing—and saved his life in the process—he opened up to me a bit. With all the captains we ran through before you came along, he might’ve reverted to old ways.”
Bobby makes an understanding sound, nodding.
“As far as people Tommy’s into goes, I never met anyone Tommy was dating while he was at the 118. He told us more than once that he preferred staying single. I don’t know if he still feels that way,” Chimney says with a shrug, returning to his sandwich. “Tommy’s a pretty private guy. Friendly, but private.”
Buck sighs. This is not helpful.
“So, uh… why do you ask, Buckaroo?”
“Uh.” Unhelpful and opening a can of worms Buck doesn’t know if he even wants to crack open, not if Tommy isn’t—
“He is,” Hen says, still typing away on her phone.
“Huh?”
“Tommy? Yeah, he’s gay,” she says, eyebrows going up and a smile crossing her face as a new text alert chimes on her phone.
Heat flares up in Buck’s face. “Did—did you text him just now and ask?” God. If he’d wanted to die of embarrassment that badly, he would’ve just asked Tommy himself.
Hen sets her phone down to give Buck a look. “No, I already knew. I texted to ask him if it was okay to tell you. He’s out, but it’s not exactly common knowledge.” She gestures at the mildly surprised looks on both Bobby and Eddie’s faces. Picking up her sandwich, she adds, “And for the record, he was very okay with me telling you.”
“I—yeah?” Buck needs to control his face better, he really does, but. Very okay?
“Oh yeah,” Hen says with a warm smile. “‘Hey, Beck’s asking if you’re into guys, okay to disclose?’” she says, reading her text aloud. “Before I could correct the typo, he texted back, ‘Sure.’ I sent, ‘*Buck,’ and he replied, ‘Evan??’” Hen waggles her eyebrows at Buck. “With two question marks. And then: ‘Absolutely, please do.’”
“Absolutely?” Eddie says, visibly amused.
“Absolutely,” Buck breathes.
“Guess you got your answer, then,” Bobby says, smiling fondly at Buck. Buck nods, feeling a little sheepish. “Is there… maybe something you want to tell us, Buck?”
Buck licks his lips, nervous for—clearly—no reason. They all know now, basically… it’s just a matter of saying it. His phone buzzes, and he takes the opportunity to put that off.
It’s a text from Tommy.
Hey, when’s your shift over? Hen just texted me, and I think maybe we should talk?
Buck feels himself smiling, and knows—he knows—he’s not fooling anybody when he says, “Ah… let me get back to you on that, Cap?” But he wants to be sure. It feels real, it feels right, but he won’t know for sure until Tommy’s there in front of him.
Bobby nods, expression unchanged. “Whenever you’re ready, Buck.”
