Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of injuries, mentions of sex, mentions of drugs and drug addiction, I think that’s it??, a tiny bit of fluff? Kinda??
Summary: You have a plan, not good one, but a plan you’re willing to share
A/N: It’s been so long since I’ve updated lol I originally canceled this series but thanks to @softholand and @spiderboytotherescue I decided to bring this back!! A new chapter will be posted every Thursday (okay today is Friday but I thought yesterday was Wednesday so like ya know). I wish this chapter was longer for y’all but I’ve honestly been really sick so I split it into two to make sure I could post this week!! So, lemme know what y’all think and if ya wanna be tagged, just lemme know!!
ch. 15 || ch. 16 || ch. 17
series masterlist // masterlist
A plan. You have a plan and that’s great. It is finally something. Something to hopefully get all of you out of the mess you’re a part of. It’s just a little bit of relief. Just a little. Because part of Tom is wondering why you’ve been up here thinking of a plan after you’ve just had this fight and you thought he actually left. And with your mom being back. You’ve up here thinking of a plan when you could have been doing literally anything else, possibly a healthy coping mechanism. But, then again, it wouldn't quite be you if you had healthy coping mechanisms.
“So, I was rereading my book on mollusks for like the hundredth time.” You start and Tom just raises a brow.
“You’ve read a book on mollusks a hundred times?”
How are mollusks going to help? Who reads a book on mollusks after that kind of fight? What is going on?
“Why do you people always interrupt me? As if you haven’t read a damn book about fucking Jupiter or something a hundred time.” You snip, not trying to sound annoyed but wanting to get to the point.
Whenever you mention something that isn’t completely related to the topic, everyone wants to question that. Why is everyone so interested in everything else instead of the whole situation you’re all in? Can’t everyone just stop asking so many questions for a few minutes and let you just explain things?
“'s fair.” Tom nods, gesturing a hand out for you to continue.
“Anyway, one is nicknamed a dancer which made me think about a gala--”
“Isn’t that…what you did last time?” Tom cuts you off, remembering you talking about breaking into Arthur’s office during an event.
Tom’s voice is not confident and you’re not oblivious to his skepticism. Yes, it is exactly what you did last time that got he caught you but this time it’s different. Tom and Harrison have no else that Arthur can touch. Last time, there was more Arthur could do. This time, what’s he really going to do? He can’t take Harrison away, he can’t take Tom away, he won’t touch you. He could go after your friends but you’re planning to account for that if you get caught. But you don’t think you’ll get caught this time.
“Yes. But, last time, I was with Ian’s brother. Ian’s brother had, well, Ian. Someone Arthur could destroy. So, he threw me under the bus to save his ass and Ian’s. Fair enough if you ask me.” You explain.
You’ve never been mad about it. Well, in the moment you were mad because you had a plan and Ian’s brother went against that. It kind of blew up and it got you burned. It sucked but in the end, if it were Travis, you would have done the same thing. So, you hold no anger in your words, just understanding.
“What’s gonna be different this time?” Tom asks, worry radiating off of him.
“I have you.” You respond, words short and simple, easy.
Tom pauses for a second and you’re so confident he wouldn’t turn on you. And maybe he wouldn’t. He hates thinking about the possibility of turning on you. That would not be ideal and it would crush him. But, there’s a part of him that knows it doesn’t matter. Harrison has been his best friend nearly his entire life. If it were him, if he had to throw you under the bus, he would. It’s horrible to admit and it’s a bit crushing but at the end of the day if he had to pick who to pull out of a burning fire it would always be his best friend.
“He won’t touch Harrison.” You start, almost seeing the thoughts running through Tom’s mind. “If he does, he risks fucking up your whole fight. So, you don’t have to worry about him. And the gala, if word is right, is gonna be at his house. Makes things a bit easier. People let their guard down in their homes, I have no doubt Arthur will do the same. He also won’t think I’m stupid enough to try this again.” You shrug your right shoulder with a sense of ease.
“Right.” Tom nods slowly.
He doesn’t really know what to say. He, also, thinks it’s stupid to try this again. It really is. Break into Arthur’s computer while a gala is happening? And he’s right here? And at his house? This sounds like an absolute train wreck about to happen and he is not wanting to do this. But he looks at you and you aren't smiling but you have this confidence about you where you really think you can pull this off. For whatever reason, you believe in all of you. So, he decides to trust you.
“You and Harrison are gonna have to go. So, you’ll bring me as a date which hey, we’ll get a laugh out of it because Arthur won’t like it but he won’t argue it either. He’ll want you both to have dates as ya know, some weird ass social norm or whatever. So, Harrison will bring Matty.”
“So, what exactly is gonna happen hen? We just show up with you and Matty?” Tom’s sighs, enough to give you the reassurance that he’s on board.
“We go together, we make nice. Play along for the night. And when the time is right, me and you sneak out and head to the office. Matty and Harrison stay in sight of Arthur. They call us, our phones on vibrate, telling us he’s left.”
“How're you even supposed to know where--”
“I’ve….” You start, pausing for a few seconds before shifting on your feet. “Been in his house a time or two.”
“What?” Tom nearly yells and it’s like every time he gets one secret and he thinks that’s all there is, another one comes to the surface.
“Yeah, I’d rather not talk about it.” You divert your eyes to the floor, chewing the inside of your cheek.
It’s a past life, one you don’t like to think back on too much. Just another thing that blew up in your face. You become happy, something good happens, and then it gets ripped away. It’s just not something you’re ready to discuss, one even Matty and Mikey don’t bring up. It’s a need-to-know basis and Tom doesn’t actually need to know all the nitty-gritty of your life before him. Sometimes, secrets mean nothing besides just keeping some privacy.
“Is it somethin’ I should be concerned about?” Tom asks, brows furrowed with bits of frustration and confusion.
“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’, keeping a straight face. “Has nothing to do with any of this or you.”
Tom opts not to push further. It’s not really worth it in his mind. You’ve just got done fighting and making up and this whole thing is just going back and forth. It’s starting to even make him motion sick, the constant back and forth with you. Ups and down, fights and good days. It’s just a rollercoaster, keeping him on his toes. For once, just for once, he’d like to be able to relax, not worry about anything, not even think about anything. But he just can’t seem to get so lucky.
“What if we get caught?”
“We go in the nearest room, make each other look a little messy. Everyone will assume we went off for a quickie.” You give Tom a small smirk with a chuckle.
Tom scoffs with a laugh. “That’s your answer to everything, ya?”
“Oh, do you really think people are gonna start asking a fuck load of questions when we roll out of a room with messy hair and smeared makeup? Blissful smiles? Oh, come on now, Pretty Boy, they're not gonna question our sex lives.”
Tom shakes his head and it’s just. You have it all planned but there’s so much that can go wrong. So much. If Arthur leaves and Harrison and Matty don’t notice? Problem. If Arthur follows you? Problem. If Arthur won’t allow you to come? Also a problem. How is this even supposed to work?
“I..I don’t know, y/n.”
“We have to.” You plead, your eyes softening as you put your hands on his shoulders. “Okay, you don’t have to help. I’ll do it myself. I’ll do it with or without you because this is all we got. We have to prove what he does. We have to have proof otherwise, we got fucking nothing. It’s do or die.”
“Feel like you’ve lost your mind a bit.” Tom mutters.
“Everyday that goes by and I’m stuck in this never-ending loop of agony, I lose my mind a little more. Sometimes you gotta lose your mind to find yourself.” You say, word level and on the brink of being nonchalant.
“Did ya just read that somewhere?” Tom’s brow knit together, not amused.
“Maybe.” You give Tom a crooked smile making him laugh.
“Fine.” He agrees with defeat but a smile is still etched across his face.
You put up a finger. “Saved the worst for last.”
“Fuck’s sake, what else?” Tom lets out a groan, hoping this will all be over soon and you can just go back to your friends.
“There’s gonna be this fight, it’s a throwaway. Extra bets, extra money. Just a way to pin two people against each other that people really wanna see. We’re gonna fight each other.” You explain.
“What?” Tom raises his voice, brushing your hands off of him. “How do you even know that?”
“Arthur, he’ll want us to fight. He’ll place the most money on it, probably get more people to bet on it. Fights with the most money are the ones that get put on the card. He’ll wanna make sure you can beat me.”
A sense dread falls over Tom as he knows what you’re about to say and he will not do it. The whole point of this is so you won’t fight each other. It’ll be a blood bath if you do. Tom isn’t gonna just throw in the towel and he doesn’t even have to ask you because he knows you won’t pull your punches even if your life depended on it. You’re too proud, too much of a fighter. You won’t.
“No.” Tom’s word is completely flat, expression blank.
“You’re gonna beat me. I’m gonna let you--” You disregard the comment and continue.
“No. I’m not doin’ it. You’ve gone fuckin’ mad. I won’t.” Tom shakes his head, absolutely against this idea. It’s not happening. No way in hell.
“Yes, you will. If you don’t, you mean nothing to Arthur. He will know you won’t win then. He’ll throw you away then. So, you’re gonna fight me, I’m gonna let you win, but you can’t….you can’t go easy. Give it all you got. Make it look real, Mikey and Matty will be there. I’ll be fine.” You try to reassure, not really succeeding.
“I’m not gonna--”
“You will and I know you will because everyone pretends like they’re self-sacrificing but they aren’t. Gun to your head, you’ll save yourself.” You completely cut him off, not willing to listen to him say no another time. “Or, you’ll do it for Harrison.”
Would he do this to save just himself? Or would he do it for you? How right are you? Tom likes to think he is a least somewhat self-sacrificing. It hurts a little to think you don’t think he would sacrifice himself, to some extent, to help you. You’ve already done plenty to help him. Why wouldn’t he do something to help you? Now, of course, you have a point about Harrison. He will do it for Harrison and you know that.
“What about you, then, huh? Matty, Mikey?”
“I will be fine. I’ll talk with Ian, he’ll run with it so me losing does nothing. Me losing this one fight, that doesn’t actually matter, won’t affect me or Matty or Mikey or Travis. This fight, only affects you.” You ramble it off and you see the defeat in Tom’s eyes and you feel so guilty but there’s no other option. “I am telling you to do this. You have to. If you don’t, that’s it. This fight is in like a week, I think? Maye two. You have no choice. The gala isn’t until after that. We can’t do this alone. Not properly with a better chance of pulling it off. I need you to do this. For you.”
"This is gonna suck, you know that, ya?" Tom asks, eyes pleading for a change.
"Yeah, but..." You pause, going back to chewing the inside of your cheek. "That's the game, I guess."
"I hate it." Tom responds.
"I don't..." You just shake your head, wanting to be done with this and wishing you would have just held off on this bit until tomorrow. "I don't want it to go like this but it has to. And...." You let out a soft breath, eyes filled with sorrow. "I am truly sorry I'm asking you to do this. It's not fair and I acknowledge that. It's just....all we got, Tom."
Tom sighs and takes a small step toward you. "I know."
He caves in. It's not right. It's not fair but if this is really how the fight is going to happen, he knows you’re right. Why would Arthur waste time into Tom if he can't be you in just some fight that doesn't even matter? He wouldn't. If anyone can take a loss and suffer nothing but some bruises, it'd be you as much as Tom hates it. But, a part of him is hoping Ian will hate it and you won't have a choice but to put in everything you have. If you have to fight each other, fine, but he doesn't want you not to try. It's different.
“We can’t tell Matty or Mikey. They’ll just freak out and by the time the fight comes, they’ll either be so unbothered by it they'll look suspicious or they’ll be so worried it’ll be suspicious. So, they can’t know. I’ll take full responsibility for that one.”
It’s one thing to ask for this but now this has to be kept from your friends? They aren’t gonna be happy and Mikey already isn’t Tom’s biggest fan. Surely, this is only going to make this worse. But, you have been right up to this point and you know your friends better than anyone. If they seem suspicious, it could send a red flag to Arthur which would make the whole thing more complicated.
“Remember when I said I’d make it hard for you to not like me?” Tom asks and you nod. “You make it very hard to like you a lot of the time.”
“Yeah, I’ve got that effect on people. Are you in or what?”
“You’ve not given me much other choice.”
“Nope.”
“You sure ‘bout Ian?” Tom asks, the worry still etched in every wrinkle of his face.
“Eh, yeah, I’ll swing by and talk with him. He'll roll with it. He wants his brother back, or at least to know what happened. If I let Ian in, he’ll let me slide a few weeks without paying him.”
“He fuckin’ choked you last time? Think he’s just gonna be fine with this?” Tom questions, brow raised with doubt.
“He’s not like…..yeah. He will. I’ve known him a long time. You don’t get into debt with a dug dealer you haven’t know long. I got word he was almost busted a few nights ago. Means he’ll be cooling down on his own using and that’s mostly when he’s the worst. Half-sober he’s not terrible.”
“There’s still so much I don’t understand about you.” Tom lets out a sigh, shaking his head.
Everything is a bit insane but there’s something about the way you handle everything that makes Tom believe everything is gonna be okay. You fight, everything about you is this fight mode. You fight against everything and anything and come up with a way around the problem no matter how ridiculous the idea is. You just….do. Maybe it’s because you’ve always felt you’ve had no other choice but to be the one on the front line, the one ahead of everyone else to protect them. Maybe it’s just how you are, something in your bone. There’s something, something more than just childhood trauma that’s led you to this point. Lead you to be this fighter that you are today.
You pat his shoulder. “And you never will, Pretty Boy.” You flash a sweet smile before going to the bed and grabbing a blanket. “Ready to join the rest downstairs then? If we’ve sorted this out?”
Tom nods. “Yeah, yeah, guess that’s fine.”
“We okay?” You ask, watching over Tom as he shifts in his stance and he hesitates.
It’s the hesitation. If people are really okay, okay with each other, maybe there shouldn’t be a hesitation. There shouldn’t be anything to think about. It should just be a simple “yes”. But that’s not what Tom’s doing. He’s looking at you, hands going into his pockets, clearly trying to think if you’re really okay or not. Of course, you are but to what extent? You apologized which is nice. It's a work in progress. But….you’re just so nonchalant about it and that worries Tom. If everything goes to plan, do you really have a future? What are you if you aren’t fighting something bigger?
“What happens after this? If it works?” Tom asks, taking the blanket from you.
“What do you mean?” You furrow your brows, not sure what he’s getting at. The goal is that you’ll both be free, it doesn’t really matter what happens after.
“With us?” He points between you. “Seems we’ve only gotten this far cause we’ve been fighting this.”
You shake your head, taken aback. “No.” You scoff. “I mean, guess it brought us together but….I-I-I-I’d like to think there’s more, I guess? More than this bullshit.” You pause for a few seconds. “We don’t….” You shrug your shoulders. “We aren’t guaranteed anything. I like you, is that not enough?” There’s a softness in your voice, something Tom has only really heard with your late-night conversations and he knows it’s more than just this fight. It means something to you, too.
“No, no, it is.” Tom rushes the words out. “Just wanna make sure there’s…I don’t know.” Tom cuts himself off, not sure why he brought it up because even if there isn’t anything concrete between you, it doesn’t really change where any of you are or what’s going to happen. So, does it really matter?
“You can tell me.”
“You’re just so calm about it all, makes it a bit worrisome.”
It’s more than just a you and Tom thing but something with you. He’s kind of worried you’re ready to give it all up. Call it quits with this. Not between you and Tom, but the fight. Like the fight he likes so much in you is gonna die soon. You’re so calm, like the calm before things start getting really bad. Like you’re at peace with any outcome. He’s so scared you’re ready to give up if one thing doesn’t go the way it’s supposed to.
You shrug again. “Panic makes people stupid. People make mistakes when they’re panicking or freaking out. So…” You suck in a breath. “I stay calm, think the whole thing through a thousand times over without a word so everyone else can panic and freak or whatever the hell they want. If I stay calm, I can figure it out. I don’t panic so everyone else can.”
“Don’t think it’s good to bottle it up.” Tom takes your hand in his, a thumb gently brushing over the top of your hand.
“Nah,” You shake your head, looking at your hands. “But I’m not given a lot of other options so.” You walk towards the door, pulling Tom with you. “I promise, I’ll work on it though….if, uh, if you’ll give the time.”
Tom offers a small smile and follows you. “‘Course, I will.” Tom says softly, offering you a gentle smile.
Doubts, those are normal. Everyone has doubts about everything at some point. It’s normal so it doesn’t bother you that he’s doubting your relationship, doubting you, doubting all of this. You dumped a lot on him. A part of you would be surprised if he didn't have some doubt in his mind. That’s the thing about trust. Having trust in someone doesn’t mean you can’t question them or have some type of doubt in them. You trust someone and still question if they’re doing the right thing. The problem is blind trust. Blind trust just lets people get hurt. Everyone has to be able to question intentions and outcomes. Think for themselves. If this isn’t the right choice for someone, they should be able to choose another route. So, for you, it’s something refreshing.
Matty and Mikey trust you beyond almost anything and you do them. But you’ve been friends so long it’s almost hard not to have that blind trust. All three of you know you always have the best intentions for all of you above anything else. But with Tom, he doesn’t know you like Matty and Mikey do. He shouldn’t just blindly trust you even though you have both of your intentions at heart. Sometimes, it’s just nice having someone question you. It makes you think harder. Is this the right thing to do? Is this the best option? What if it does fail? Can you afford that? All questions you wouldn't be wondering if it were just Matty and Mikey because they wouldn’t question you like Tom does. Not in the same way. It makes you trust Tom more.
“You okay?” Matty asks as Tom and you make your way into the living room.
“Always.” You mutter while Tom takes a seat beside Harrison on the couch and you take a seat on the floor between Tom’s legs, blanket wrapped around you.
“We’re good.” Tom confirms, the rest of the boys looking over at him.
“So, what're you gonna do about she who will not be named?” Matty asks, half-joking with attention turning to you.
“Ignore her until she eventually goes away.” You laugh. “She’ll be out of here in a week.”
“Are you sure?” Mikey asks from the chair to the side of the couch. “She seemed more concerned this time?” Mikey says it as a question, hesitance in his voice.
The truth is that he hasn’t seen your mom show up caring that much, ever. She seemed honestly upset by the whole ordeal. He’s not saying or insinuating that you should hear her out. That’s not his place and he’s never been in your position but he wants to make sure you’re making the right decision for your own mental health. He doesn’t want you to, for any reason, regret not talking your mom.
“I know Arthur called her which ya know, how the fuck does he even know her? Like the fuck is that about?” You roll your eyes voice growing annoyed. “But she’s here to distract me. Leaving is what she’s best at.”
“How do you know it was Arthur?” Harrison asks.
“I know it wasn’t Travis. She wouldn’t just show up on her own after all this time. It’s not some type of a coincidence that we’re getting closer to the end and I’m not backing down. Arthur is a desperate, slimy, piece of shit.”
Tom remains silent and he just gets so angry. Not at you or your friends but at Arthur. He’s also sure it was him based on what you’ve said about your mom. He doesn’t think she’d just show up. He wouldn’t be surprised if Arthur was buying her off to show up here and try to mess it up. The thing that pisses him off though is why? Why can’t he just continue to mess with Tom and Harrison? That pisses you off, too. Is that not good enough? Why does he have to come for your family? And this doesn’t just affect you. He doesn’t know Travis, but it’s probably affecting him, too and now he’s the one stuck with your mom. It’s all a bit fucked up and every day that passes is just another day Tom sees the lengths Arthur will go to get what he wants. And that just won’t do.
Character death?!?!?!?!?!?!?! It’s fine, I’m fine, I’m okay—
Yeah lmao I have this idea where I kill a character but.............it's gonna hurt so i'm like mmmmmmmmmmm should I though??? I've had it planned since the beginning but idk I'll do it lmao last time I killed a character, I regretted it lol
