#the gray wolf

[kadotettu]

I miss you. I hate how I can’t talk to you - knowing you’d not answer anyway, knowing you’d get annoyed by my virtual presence, knowing I’m not worth talking to anyway. I’m nothing to you, I know that now. You have this beautiful new life now with all those beautiful new people in it, who are not aware of all those secrets you told me when your mind didn’t let you fall asleep. I’m happy for you, I really, really am. But see, you were my best friend and I miss you so damn much that at night, my mind doesn’t let me fall asleep, because all my thoughts are crumpled-up papers with your name written all over it all over it all over it.  I know, I have to choose myself and each time I want to text you, asking you how you’ve been, I’m choosing the wrong way. 

[kadotettu]

so my bestie just recommended me Koe no Katachi 

-well actually I forced him to tell me what the name of that anime was that he is watching, cause he just randomly textet me like OH THIS ANIME IS SO SAD OMG-

even tho I am currently rewatching like 876543 animes Imma deffo watch that one tonight huhuhaha.

[gritsandbrits]

OC: Tinashe/The Gray Wolf

Tinashe works as a waitress with a promising modeling career. Having grown up in a loving yet strictly religious household she moved to Gotham to pursue a freewheeling life, taking up vigilantism for the thrill. She met Jason at her job, and later at a charity function. So they stated out as weird acquaintances. As Gray Wolf she mostly uses knives and other throwing projectiles as well as parkour combat, with a heavy focus on fast powerful strikes. Her faceclaim/basis is Toya Turner from Warrior Nun.

I made her solely out of spite like I'm angry at DC rn for recent events on Jason. So I took matter in my own hands and decided to craft a storyline that's not based on Death in the Family/leeching off Bruce and Dick. Plus I haven't really seen much wolf based superheroes anyways so that's also why I made her. I'll probably have designs for her costumes up soon.

[kadotettu]

for what it’s worth

five weeks, give or take sometimes I just want to pour all this healing down the drain all the selfcare and mindfulness and forgiveness all those new patterns and impressions and steps cause I feel that you’re still there, stuck between my newborn thoughts I can’t meditate you away when you’re in my lungs and deep down I’m afraid that five years from now in my new perfect life I’ll still be whispering your name into my pillow and I know, you’ve already forgotten about me. 

[kadotettu]

Colors Changing Hue, pt. II

It’s been a week. Somehow, I made it through the last couple of days without leaving. It takes me one entire day to build myself up, to be happy with who I am, to feel love for this life, once again - just to lay down in shattered pieces every time I wake up in the morning, cursing my day, cursing my life. I hate you for doing this to me and at the same time, I thank you for forcing life back into my heart. And I miss you. There are moments when I tell myself, okay, he’ll return once I feel better. He’ll just know, he’ll feel it when the time is right, so when he’s not back now, it means that the time isn’t right, that I need to work on myself more, more, more. But what if that’s not true, and you don’t plan to return in the first place? How do I breathe without you? What is this life, what is all of it, without you? I need you in everything I do, I miss you in everything I do. Why am I here, if it’s not for you?

[kadotettu]

Colors changing hue.

It’s been 4 days. You said you wanted distance because you feel as if your presence is keeping me down. You said you’re the reason I can’t find happiness. You said you’ll never be what I want you to be when in fact, everthing that you are to me right now is perfectly enough. I’m waiting, I’ll be waiting. I don’t know how to wait. How to stop. How to be. What to do. I’m dead, a fucking ghost. How can I come back to earth? And I’m aware, I should be focussing on my life and take this as an opportunity to grow, but the truth is that I miss you between every single heart beat. You’re there, doing something, hopefully amazingly happy, hopefully hopefully fine. I pray, I beg that you’re not as miserable as I am, that you’ll never ever be. Oh God, I miss you so damn much that I really don’t know how to go on anymore. Just 4 days. I’ll be ... proud of myself when I survive this week. This month, this whatever life. 

[kadotettu]

You.

Our days go by like the wind that gives us company on our way home; we are stumbling through long-forgotten leaves that we’ve been watching to slowly fade away, and it seems as if the more naked nature grows, the more we’re both dancing around our feelings; and we are too shy and too afraid to go any further - just like the last leaves that are holding on to their branches, the leaves that are able to stand the strongest winter winds. But you’re still seeking to be near me while I’m trying my best not to get lost in your eyes, oh darling, your eyes.

See, what I don’t want you to know is: With every word you’re keeping to yourself, I am falling more and more in love with you.

[kadotettu]

Isn’t it weird that we can be in love with so many people, for so many different reasons, even though there is, maybe, still that one that we will love forever, unconditionally, because they are and have always been precious;

and still, we can find ourselves dreaming about others, slowly letting them invade our minds, without wanting them, without anything sexual, and we are happy, so happy, just because they are here?