Jul 13
new schools suck.. yumi based rpf tgc, clooless, frouse mention (+ sovi, daukey, rectrixx) check out chapter 1!
new schools sucks. - Chapter 1 - itsnotwhatiremember - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
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new schools suck.. yumi based rpf tgc, clooless, frouse mention (+ sovi, daukey, rectrixx) check out chapter 1!
new schools sucks. - Chapter 1 - itsnotwhatiremember - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
https://app.notion.com/p/the-mistyywhyy-files-37e3036bc7798050abafd50cc62b8d9f
Thank you! Here’s a good resource for everyone wondering what’s going on
isaac durr
such a niche thing to say but who tf put yung kage's olivia and jenni on osu beat maps because i am cryinggg
I went from a (sadly) DSMP fan to a The Group Chat fan.. This timeline seems to have gotten to many. (I LOVE BIG T TRUSTTT)
isaacwhy x gn!reader at a con together <33 they try to hide their relationship but people catch on seeing small touches n interactions w them hehe
You got it! <3 I’m new to writing Gn! So please please forgive any mistakes! Hope this is ok!
Secret Relationship || Isaacwhy
The energy at the convention was electric. Cosplayers, fans, and content creators rushed around. You and Isaac moved through the crowd with practiced ease. The plan for the weekend was simple: keep your relationship under wraps. It wasn’t that you didn’t want people to know—you both just enjoyed having something that was all yours.
Isaac wore his classic tank top, face mask covering his face along with the usual sunglasses. Even though his face was covered you could still spot that familiar, mischievous grin peeking out. You walked alongside him careful to keep some distance. No hand-holding, no couple-y behavior, nothing that would draw attention. It was supposed to be easy… at least, that’s what you told yourselves.
It started small like always. The occasional brush of Isaac’s hand against yours as you walked. The way his hand found the small of your back whenever you stopped to look at a booth. Each touch was subtle almost absentminded, but to you they meant everything. However, you weren’t the only one paying attention. Fans were sharp and they missed nothing. It didn’t take long before a few people started catching on.
At one point you leaned down to check out some merch an Isaac, without thinking, bent close to whisper a joke in your ear. His breath tickled your neck, and you had to bite your lip to keep from laughing out loud. But the way you leaned into him, how easily you two fell into sync and it didn’t go unnoticed. A couple of fans nearby exchanged glances, their whispers just barely audible.
“I think that’s Isaac and Y/n…” one of them said.
“They’re always together. And always touching,” the other added, eyes darting between the two of you.
Isaac as always pretended not to notice, but the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips told you he was having fun with it. He stepped back slightly, his fingers just barely brushing your lower back as he guided you toward the next booth.
“Think they’ve caught on?” you murmured, glancing around.
Isaac grinned, his eyes twinkling with that familiar playfulness. “Nah, we’re fine. Totally blending in.” He winked, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.
The next slip-up was inevitable. While you both stopped for a quick snack, Isaac casually reached over to wipe a smudge of something off your cheek, his thumb lingering a little too long. You could see a group of fans standing nearby. One of them nudging the other with wide eyes.
“Did you see that?!” one whispered, trying to keep their voice down but clearly failing.
“He just—yeah, they’re totally together.”
You shot Isaac a look, but he only shrugged, pretending to be oblivious. He handed you a napkin with a sly smile. “What? Just looking out for you.”
“Uh-huh,” you muttered, though a smile was creeping onto your face. It was getting harder to hide how comfortable you were with each other.
As you wandered through the convention hall the tension between keeping things private and slipping up kept building. It didn’t help that Isaac couldn’t stop with the small, flirty touches. His hand would rest on your shoulder as you waited in line for a panel, fingers brushing lightly against your neck. At one point he even leaned in, just as he always did when he kissed you. But this time he played it off by pretending to adjust your badge while his breath ghosted across your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.
Fans around you were buzzing by then, their eyes darting from you to Isaac with increasing frequency. You overheard fragments of conversations
“They’ve got to be together,” and “Did you see how he touched them? That wasn’t just friendly.” It was becoming harder to play it cool.
At one point, as you both walked past a group of fans waiting for a photo op, Isaac—being Isaac decided to push the limits a little more. He reached out and tugged playfully at the sleeve of your jacket, pulling you closer as he whispered something into your ear. The laugh that slipped out was impossible to suppress, and you saw a few phones immediately rise, discreetly snapping photos or recording short clips.
“We are so busted,” you whispered, though your tone was more amused than worried.
Isaac chuckled, leaning a little closer so his arm brushed yours. “Only if you admit it,” he teased, his voice low and conspiratorial.
But by then, the whispers had turned into tweets. Fans were posting blurry photos, their captions ranging from speculative to certain.
_"I SWEAR I just saw Isaacwhy flirting with someone at the con—"_
_"Okay, no joke, Isaac is being super touchy with this one person. Are they a couple??"_
_"Guys, I think Isaacwhy and [Y/N] are totally together. LOOK AT THEM."_
As the convention neared its end, it was clear there was no hiding anymore. The playful touches, shared laughs, the way Isaac kept leaning into you none of it went unnoticed. Social media was quickly filling up with clips and photos. By the time you both sat down for a quick break outside the hall, the jig was up.
Isaac was scrolling through his phone, his expression caught somewhere between amused and impressed. “They’re fast,” he commented, showing you a tweet with a clear picture of the two of you, arms linked, laughing at some inside joke.
You sighed, a smile tugging at your lips. “Well, we had a good run.”
He smirked, nudging your shoulder with his. “We could still deny it.”
You gave him a look. “After everything? We’d look ridiculous.”
Isaac let out a playful sigh, dramatically wiping a hand over his face. “Guess it’s time to come clean, huh?”
You nodded, pulling out your phone. “Together?”
He grinned. “Together.”
Quickly you snapped a picture of the two of you, Isaac kissing your cheek through his mask.
He leaned in closer to peek at your screen as you quickly typed up a tweet.
“Well… we tried to be sneaky, but y’all are just too smart 😅💞”
Isaac hit send a moment later with a tweet of his own.
"Guess the secret’s out! 😂❤️"
The reaction was instant. Fans flooded the comments, thrilled and full of excitement.
“KNEW IT!!!"
“They’re so cute together omg!!!"
“You guys tried 😂 but it was obvious!"
With your phones buzzing in your hands, you exchanged a look, both of you laughing softly at how everything had turned out. The secret might have been out, but seeing how happy people were for you made it all worth it. Isaac wrapped his arm around you once more, pulling you close as you both watched the bustling scene of the convention center, content that the truth was finally out there.
Counting Sheep
Chapter 2
First - Next
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
“So, I have some rules before we get to my place.” I said looking over at him while he was backing out of the driveway.
He looked confused but a bit curious too, “Ok, what are the rules?”
“I have a few of them,” bringing my hand up ready to count them off. “First, is to not go in my room, it’s off limits.” With one finger up and him nodding and humming with agreement.
“Second, is to not open anything you don’t need to. I don't want you snooping around and looking through my things." Another finger added and he hummed again. "Third is no touching my things, please. Mostly the stuff on the shelves and bookcase. But if it's junk, that's fine, you can move that." Almost finishing off, adding the last one.
"And finally, I don't want you to judge how my apartment looks," I looked away, suddenly turning shy to admit this, "You're the first person I've been 'ok' with coming over, and I'm just not used to having anyone besides me there." Feeling the heat get to my face, I breathe in deeply trying to cool down.
"You know I won't judge you," he spoke softer than usual, "I know you don't really want me there, but it's just to make sure you don't get hurt." A small sigh escapes his lips, "Well, any more hurt than you are now." I look towards my foot, a small laugh comes out and I say, "I don't think I'll break my other foot anytime soon." I hear a laugh come from him and catch a glimpse at him, biting the inside of my cheek and smiling to myself.
Our conversation died down and since it would be a few more minutes before we get there, Isaac turned the volume up. We sat in comfortable silence, listening to whatever song was playing on the radio. Stealing a couple of glances at him, I thought about how we would be in the same room, sitting next to each other, maybe getting even closer. Accidently letting out an awkward laugh, I coughed to try and cover it up, hoping he wouldn't ask or notice.
Ugh, I have to stop thinking about it and getting all weird. We've been together before so what's the difference this time. He's just here to help if something happens, like if I need to be picked up if I fall or carried to my bed...What the fuck? Where did that come from?
Trying to calm myself down and stop blushing, I close my eyes and take a deep breath to steady my heart.
It'll be fine, nothing will happen. He doesn't like you like that, he just wants to make sure you don't do some stupid shit. Like falling and breaking something else...yeah.
Feeling my heart sink knowing that whatever I might want to happen, never would. I was starting to slowly zone out and not hear anything, then I felt a hand land on my shoulder. Jolting back, remembering that it was just Isaac, realizing that he parked and turned off the car. He looked at me and said, "We're here, I can carry your bag so you don't have to."
"Oh, sure, thanks." Passing the slightly heavy bag to him, he took it with ease and opened the car door to get out.
With a deep sigh I opened the door and got out. Struggling a bit but Isaac had came around and stood nearby in case I needed any help. I tried to lead the way, even if that meant going at a slow pace and walking next to each other. Someone exited out the apartment building so Isaac caught the door, holding it open for me.
“Oh, I need to stop by the front desk,” I told him, walking inside and going towards it. “I need to see if any of my packages came. And then we can go to my place.” I looked up at him to see if he was ok with the pit-stop.
“Yeah, alright. What are you expecting?” He questioned, both of us getting behind another tenant.
“Just some paints and other stuff.” Not fully explaining what I bought, mostly because I forgot what I ordered. Moving forward I noticed it was my favorite worker, so I knew it would take awhile before we went upstairs.
“Oh dear, what happened to you?” Mrs. Reinberry, an older woman who’s friendly with almost everyone in the building, asked worriedly. Trying to look over the counter to see the cast.
“Nothing much. Just accidentally broke my leg.” Nonchalantly playing off the severity of the pain. “I landed wrong and fell, so now I got this cast on for about a month.” Defeat, clear in my voice and still not happy at the situation but smiling anyways.
She still looked worried, even if I did try to play it off, she knew how painful it might’ve been. “I’m sorry about that, is there anything you need? I know it’ll be hard if you’re by yourself. I don’t want you to fall and no one be there to help you up. I can accompany you up to your place and stay for a while” Not realizing that the person next to me is here only to help me.
Isaac stood there not knowing if he should say something, but he did scoot slightly closer to me and adjusted the bag behind him, maybe trying to let her know he was with me. She noticed it and looked over at him and then back at me. I tried to talk first before she said anything embarrassing but failed.
“And who’s this? Is he your boyfriend? I've never seen him around here before." She got a second look at him and felt my face heat up again. Covering the side of her mouth, she leaned in and 'whispered' to me, “Oh, is he one of the friends you keep telling me about? Which one is he?” Making it sound weirder than it has to be.
“What-oh no. Uh yeah, this is Isaac. He’s here to help me if something happens.” I didn’t want to look at him but I felt his eyes on me, probably wondering why she might’ve heard of him and the others before. I wanted the conversation to end quicker to save myself from anymore embarrassment so I just asked if I had any mail.
Mrs. Reinberry said there were two packages so she’ll get them, leaving to go to the other room. I hoped he wouldn’t ask but I wasn’t so lucky. He was still looking at me, turning his head to see my face. Trying to get a reaction out of me but I kept turning my head to the side ignoring him as best as I could.
I didn’t want to make eye contact in case I might say something stupid. Thankfully she came back before he got to ask, carrying two medium sized boxes.
“Here you go, they dropped them off a few hours after you left.” Placing them on the counter and sliding them closer to us. Before I got the chance to ask, Isaac was already grabbing them and holding it, being careful of the contents inside. I thanked Mrs. Reinberry and told her bye, motioning towards the elevator to Isaac.
I pushed the button since he had his hands full and waited only a few seconds before it beeped. We went in and I pressed the 4th floor button, waiting for the doors to shut and take us up.
“You talk about us to that lady?” He finally had a chance to ask once we were alone, he sounded amused. I had a hard time finding the right words, something that won’t make it seem like she’s my only friend, besides the guys. I talk to her about them since I don’t really have anyone else to talk to, but it's sort of comforting and nice.
“Mrs. Reinberry…knows about you guys.” I slowly said, not revealing how much I say. “She’s really talkative, and kinda nosey. But she’s nice.” Hoping to not explain it any further since I wasn’t expecting him to overhear her, even if she did do a bad job of whispering.
I still couldn't look him in the face so I just stared ahead, finding interest in the doors. Glancing up at the numbers and noticing that we finally got to the fourth floor. Calming down my nerves was a struggle, somebody besides myself was going to be in my space, a space that was so hard to finally have to myself.
The doors opened and Isaac placed his foot so they wouldn’t close. There wasn’t anything else I could do to stall so I just went ahead, bracing myself for the night. My place was at the end of the hall so at least if someone wanted to pass by I wasn’t in their way. Once we made it to my door I stopped and looked at Isaac, he had my bag so I had to grab my keys to unlock it.
He had the bag in the back so I asked, “Can I see my bag please, I need to get my keys out.” All he said was yeah and turned around so the bag faced me instead. He wasn't close so I reached my hand out and pulled him near me to look inside. I unlatched and dug around in the front pocket to find the keys, feeling cold metal I fished it out. It was easy to find the right keys, I only had four and two of them were for the locks.
Unlocking the top and bottom, I pushed the door open and invited him in first so I could lock it behind me. He took a few steps inside and was looking around at everything that I have, countless trinkets that I've collected over the years and various art projects and supplies. I sighed for the millionth time and closed the door, preparing for the night spent with him and whatever awaits us.
“You can just put the boxes on the table.” Pointing my crutches at the square coffee table next to him on his left. It was a decently spacious apartment with two rooms, a bathroom, and nice windows but with all the stuff I have, it made it seem smaller than it was. “Do you want something to drink? I have some water, juice and pop.” Going to the right into the kitchen, getting myself something to drink.
“Water is fine, thanks.” Finding an empty space on the messy table and putting it down.
Opening the fridge and getting two water bottles and a bowl of cut up strawberries out, placing them on the clean counter. Isaac came over and took the three items, moving back to put them on the table and sitting down on the blanket covered couch.
“Sorry ‘bout the mess and blankets, I was in the middle of working and I get cold easily.” Meeting him at the couch and tossing the blankets to the arm of the couch near the wall. I sat down and tried to clean the mess up, or at least organize it. Finding the blade to open the boxes, I got the top one and put it on my lap.
Cutting it open I saw it was the paint I needed refills on. Taking each one out to make sure none were open or damaged.
Isaac took a peek in the box, seeing the different colors and shades. “You bought paint? I didn’t know you painted.”
“Well, technically no. I don't do ‘paintings’ but I do paint the props I make.” Paying more attention to the paint containers rather than him at the moment. Putting the first box on the ground and picking up the second one to check.
“Props? As in..?” He looked around the room again, now noticing the few completed pieces hanging on the wall and the multiple works in progress littering the floor. I turned to look at him and explained a bit more, turning on the tv so it wouldn’t be so quiet.
“Like weapons, wands and stuff like that for cosplays. Mostly from anime, games, and even cartoons sometimes.” waving my hand around. Seeing that the other box had some premade items that I couldn't make. Inspecting the items to make sure these weren’t damaged either and placing it on top of the first box.
I took my shoe off and threw it by the door with the others, not caring about it being neat right now. I sat back on the couch, watching the tv play some show that I had watched a million times before and asking Isaac if he wanted to change it. He was fine with it and got comfortable too, taking his shoes off and handing me my bag. Thanking him and taking my phone out before I forget about it later.
“So you cosplay? You got a lot of weapons here.” I was surprised that he wanted to know more about it.
“Very, very few times. But most of this is from commissions, which I still need to finish.” Dreading that I need to continue working but sort of glad I have all the time in the world now, or at least for a month. He just nodded his head and went back to watching tv, sometimes going on his phone, going back and forth between the two. “If you get hungry or something, we can order some food. I don’t want to cook and I don't want you to do more than you have to.” I offered mostly because I was starting to feel a bit hungry and hoped he was too.
He checked the time and saw that it was almost 6 pm, and from the amount of time we spent recording and then bringing me back, he decided he was getting hungry too. I gave him a few options, mostly the ones who deliver since neither of us would drive out to pick it up. After we chose, I called to order our food and have it delivered, with them saying it’ll be about 25 minutes till it arrives. We went back to awkward silence, well I thought it was awkward, never really being a talkative person so hopefully 25 minutes will pass soon.
And remembering again that I have a cast on, I thought about something else, “How am I gonna shower later?” thinking out loud. I saw Isaac look at me and kept rambling to mostly myself. “I mean, I know how, but how?” gesturing towards the cast that I definitely can’t get wet. If that happened then I would hate it even more and try to rip it off.
“We can wrap it in trash bags.” Isaac suggested. I shook my head no, I thought it would take too much work if it didn’t cover the whole thing. And I would have wet trash bags that I can’t use until they're dry again.
“Oh, I can use plastic wrap. I should have some left over, if I didn’t finish it all.” Using it for most of my props I usually buy extra, so I should have some left over. “Now the problem is where. I just need to figure out where I put it.”
Kicking things around the floor with my good foot to see if it’s buried under anything, Isaac did the same except more careful. Seeing it wasn’t here I figured it was in the other room I designated as my 'office'. Getting up, Isaac moved out of the way asking where I was going. “I’m gonna check if I left it in the other room.”
“I can go check. You don’t have to get up.” Isaac tried to help but I declined, he wouldn’t know where anything was and I didn’t want him to accidentally hurt himself.
“You don’t know where it’s at-” I got cut off by Isaac, “You don’t know either.” He wasn’t wrong but I didn’t want to confirm that so I kept going. “Shut up. I haven’t cleaned yet and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Aww, you care about me.” Isaac said sarcastically, following me into the next room.
“Sure.” Rolling my eyes at him and pushed open the door. Scanning around to see if I could spot it easily. Not having any luck I went to my desk in the corner and opened the drawers, still not having any luck. Isaac was looking at the stuff I had rather than really looking for the plastic wrap, which I was fine with. But it was a weird feeling, I couldn’t tell if he was silently judging me or not so I focused back on the task at hand. “It should still be in the red box, so it might be easier to find.”
Shifting my focus towards the floor, I sat down and rummaged around and organized some stuff in the process. It was a few minutes of silence between us, hearing the tv play faintly in the background. I heard Isaac shuffle papers and other scraps until he stopped.
“Is this it? I think I found it.” He came closer and held out the plastic wrap in his hand, not in the red box but outside it. Thankfully it had enough, or as much as we might need.
Isaac helped me off the floor, grabbing my hands and pulling me up. Giving me my crutches and going back into the living room with the plastic wrap in his pocket, leaving me inside the room by myself and my thoughts.
His hands are warm. Realizing I said that I face palmed, Shut up, ugh. This’ll be a long night.
I really needed to stop thinking like that, nothing will happen. Not acknowledging that maybe I did want something to happen but also knowing that if I tried to do anything and he doesn’t feel the same, then my friendship with him and the others will crumble. I didn’t want to put that at risk, having friends is better than losing them and I didn’t want to lose anymore than I already had.
Falling back on the couch with the crutches in front of me I saw that Isaac was on his phone, feeling a bit guilty for some reason. He was here to help me, a guest at my place, so maybe I should not bore him to death.
Before I got the chance to talk, I was cut off by knocking, shockingly the food had arrived and I didn’t have to wallow in my senseless fear anymore. Isaac got up with the cash that I handed him, paying the delivery guy and grabbing the food. I tried to clean most of the mess off the table by moving it towards the floor by my feet under the table. He placed it down and I took the food out, figuring out what was in the boxes and who’s it was.
We began eating in comfortable silence, for once, and I told him again he could change the show to what he wanted but he denied again. Not asking anymore I turned to watch tv, every once in a while we would talk. About the show, or if the food is good, or he would just ask questions about what I was working on.
It was a nice feeling, having someone over, even if the only reason they're here is to watch over you. They at least care enough to actually be here, it was something to think about and be glad over. I guess I was in my head for too long cause Isaac was calling my name, only snapping out of it when he touched my shoulder.
“You good?” Worry, clear in his voice.
“Yeah, I’m good.” Brushing it off and finishing my food, putting the empty container back in the bag for trash. Letting the food settle in my stomach before heading to shower, stalling as long as I could and dreading the problems I might have. After 5 minutes Isaac could tell I was stalling, it was getting near 8 pm and I had to shower soon.
“I’m gonna use the bathroom before you shower, is that cool?” Looking at me. I just nodded and he left. Knowing where it was since he passed it on the way from the other room. Telling myself that I had to get up and go to my room and get fresh, not stinky, clothes. Something that’ll easily go over the cast and not bother me when I sleep.
I got up and went to my room, closing the door behind me so Isaac couldn’t see in. The one thing I truly don’t want is someone besides me inside, it was my space and it had some embarrassing stuff everywhere. Going to the dresser I pulled out a tank top, underwear and basketball shorts. I don’t play sports but I had it for whenever I painted and I was fine with it getting dirty. Seeing it’ll go over the cast with no problem. Sliding the closet open to grab a hoodie, only wearing it when I’m not in my room and to not accidentally show Isaac my fucked up arms.
Hearing Isaac exit the bathroom, I left my room too, going inside the bathroom to put my clothes on the hamper. I went back to the living room and politely asked Isaac for help with putting the plastic wrap on, sitting on the edge of the couch. Close enough for him to reach but not too close that he can hear my breathing.
Without warning, he lifted my leg onto his lap, freaking me out more than I would like to admit. Flinching my leg back when he grabbed it, scaring him too, and moving it away from him. Clenching my fists together so hard I might start bleeding.
He saw my expression and just thought I was in pain. “Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to.”
In a hushed steady voice and calming down I opened my hands and pushed my palms down onto the sofa. “It’s cool…just warn me next time.”
All he did was nod and continue wrapping my leg up, not saying anything else. He was going slow, gently holding my leg up with one arm while the other wrapped. Thankfully he was only touching the cast and not my actual leg, otherwise I would be blushing red and heated in the face. Not like I wasn’t slightly red or warm now. I just watched him, being so gentle as if he was caring for an injured rabbit and not a person.
He let go of my leg once he was finished so I lowered my leg back down and he put the plastic wrap on the table. Mumbling a thanks and getting up to head to the bathroom to start the shower. I entered and locked the door behind me, just standing there for a while and thinking. Slightly shaking from the interaction, wondering if he thought I was just in pain or something else. Burying it to the back of my mind, I turned the cold knob of the shower on to get rid of the stench of today.
It was difficult to say the least and took way longer than usual. Washing, or attempting to wash, my hair was the worst part, having to lean back enough to rinse but not too much my back starts hurting. Except that my arms got tired quickly so I just dropped them, shampoo still in my hair and dripping onto the floor. The events of today just wanting to scream out and cry, knowing no one would hear me even if I did.
Scrubbing the conditioner in, I went on auto-pilot just running my fingers through my hair again and again. Focusing on the tiles in front of me and noticing a small speck of dry soap, staring at it before reaching my hand out to scrap it off. Scratching away even after it came off, repeating the motion to just let my mind wander. I felt soap get in my eye, a harsh sting bringing me back to remember what I was doing. Desperately wiping but failing and making it worse. Deciding to reach for the towel to help, forgetting I put my phone, ring and bracelets on top.
Causing all of it to fall and scatter, it was loud enough that Isaac heard from the other room and came knocking on the door. Worried I might have injured myself and needed help.
“Are you okay? What happened?” He asked through the door, loud enough for me to hear over the running water.
“I just accidentally dropped something, sorry.” Saying loud enough for him to hear, wiping my eye with the soft towel. Breathing in and out to calm my emotions down so I won’t get overwhelmed with everything happening.
In.
“Okay, if you need help just let me know.” Isaac said before he went back. Probably not making my case any better that I would be fine by myself, I just needed to be more careful.
Out.
In a few hours he'll go to sleep and then when morning comes, he’ll leave and I'll be by myself again.
Practically stabbing myself in the chest again by saying that and not fully admitting to wanting him to stay. Making me groan and curse to myself for thinking like that, I’ve gotten this far in life with no one’s help so how is it any different now. After rinsing out the conditioner I moved on to the body wash, pouring the vanilla scented soap in my hands so I have better control of where it goes, still cautious of the cast.
Getting as close as I could to the edge of the cast, still leaving enough room so it wouldn’t go in accidentally. Rinsing off for the final time with cold water. Turning it off, only to stay sitting and letting the air dry me off for a second. My efforts to move were slow, making me lose more energy than ever.
I shoved my face in the soft towel and started to dry off, leaving my hair last. Reaching over to pick up the jewelry I dropped, putting them back on and placing my phone on the sink. Standing up to dry the rest of my body off, wobbling but I steadied myself. All I had to do was put my shorts and shirt on, leaving the hoodie until very last. Using the towel for my hair and being satisfied with it being a little damp. Looking at myself in the mirror, seeing just how exhausted I am by my eye bags.
I traced my fingers over the dark bluish-gray eye bags, liking the way I look less and less. None of the guys ever see my face this late at night, or at all sometimes, but now Isaac was about to. Wondering if he would make any comments about it, worrying if he would judge my appearance. That’s the least of my worries, the most is how I’ll be able to sleep. If I even can, my insomnia has been getting worse over the past few days.
Just hoping I can fall asleep tonight or for about an hour. Wearing the hoodie and putting my phone in the pocket I left the bathroom, stopping by my room to get my glasses. I went into the living room to see how Isaac was doing, sitting back in my spot from before. While I was in the shower he changed the show to something I didn’t know and was watching it.
“I can change it back.” He turned to face me, surprised I had glasses on now. “Since when did you wear glasses?” still staring at me and not the tv.
“For a few years now. I just need it for reading so I don’t wear it out.” Answering him and turning sideways on the couch facing him and to get more comfortable. Bringing my laptop from the floor up and placing it on my lap, turning it on.
He kept staring until he just nodded and kept watching tv, not changing it. It got me thinking about how he’s learned more things about me in this short amount of time than usual. I never really tell anyone anything about me, usually learning more about them instead.
I was scrolling through my emails to see if I got any new notifications. Isaac spoke again, wanting to know more.
“If you didn’t have that cast and I wasn’t here, what would you be doing now?” Glancing at me when he asked.
Being caught off by that question I had to think, “Uhhh..” Having trouble thinking of something that doesn’t make me a loser, fiddling with my ring to think.
Jerking off. Laughing to myself, waving it off and clearing my throat when he looked at me confused.
“Umm probably just the same as now, except by myself. Of course. Watching tv or listening to music, working on art stuff. I don’t do much.” Adding a small laugh at the end, knowing how boring it must sound.
He just hummed and asked another question, “What about when you hang out with your friends? Do they not come over?”
My heart was acting crazy today as it stopped for a second, pausing my scrolling and steadying my shaky fingers. I wasn’t sure what to say, do I lie and make something up…Or do I tell him I’m pathetic and don’t have any other friends, prepared to have him pity me. Not sure which one would end with me hating myself more for probably the rest of my life.
I guess I was taking too long to answer because Isaac glanced back over at me, probably thinking I didn’t hear his question. Before he repeated it, I saw an email for a confirmation on a reservation I had made a few weeks ago.
“Shit.” Throwing my head back and groaning. Covering my eyes with my sweater arms and messing with my drying hair.
“What?” He sounded worried, unsure of what just happened.
Looking back at my screen, I mentioned to him, “I forgot I reserved a time slot for a video idea I was gonna do. Ugghhh, now I have to reschedule it. Hopefully they can get me back in a month.” Annoyed that now I have to hold off on recording until next month, needing to send out emails to a few places and people.
“What kinda video did you plan? Maybe you can still do it.” Calming down when it wasn't something serious. Isaac was trying to cheer me up, which was sweet but it wasn’t going to work sadly.
While I was looking through the emails, I said “It took forever to find a time they were free. It was gonna be a baking video, and I need to stand up and move around so it wouldn’t work out. This fucking sucks.” I sent an email out, saying I had to cancel and hopefully they can let me reschedule it. It’s barely been a day and I’m already feeling exhausted from everything and nothing all at the same time.
Isaac wasn’t sure what to say so he just said damn, fidgeting on the couch. I was too busy to realize that he may have been a little uncomfortable by my negative reaction. It was easy for me to get upset over something, even the smallest thing would get me irritated. After sending the emails out, I glanced up and noticed it so I tried to lighten the mood a bit.
Thinking a joke might work, “At least that means I can spend more time here. Now I don’t have to worry about setting something on fire.” Laughing at the bad joke. He laughed too, making me feel at ease. Glad I didn't sour the mood and make him regret coming here.
I went back on the laptop, zoning out and thinking. Noticing the time getting closer to 10 pm, the time flying by quickly. Not feeling tired yet, or at all, but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t keeping him awake either.
“If you get tired I can leave, I don’t want you to stay up just cause of me.” Shutting the laptop half way, just in case he was ready to sleep.
“Nah, I’m good. Are you tired?” Isaac moved to reposition himself, mostly sitting the same way I was. Except stretching his legs out more since he was taller, taking up more space than me.
I shook my head no, “It’ll be awhile till I go to sleep. Probably at like, 2 or 3 in the morning.” Reopening the laptop to scroll through youtube, finding something to watch.
He wasn’t shocked at that, everyone knew I had the worst sleeping schedule out of all of them. Sometimes not even sleeping for 2 nights, but that was mostly when I didn’t have any pills left and needed a refill.
“Why do you sleep that late?” he asked. I just raised my eyebrows at him, wondering why he seemed so interested in my life. “Just wondering, didn’t mean to sound rude.”
I snorted, I didn’t think he sounded rude, just nosey. “I’m an insomniac, have been for a long time.” Dragging out the ‘long’. “So it’s hard to fall asleep or even feel tired at all.” Shrugging it off like it wasn’t a big deal, which it wasn’t to me but I guess he thought it was.
“Oh fuck, sorry.” He said. This was the last thing I needed to hear from anyone, him feeling sorry for me.
“You don’t need to be sorry, it’s not like it's your fault. It’s my parents fault.” Straining out a quick laugh and blurting the last part out without thinking. We never really talk about this kind of stuff so I wasn't sure how he would react and hoped he wouldn't try to pry. Swallowing a lump in my throat, I hoped he didn’t want to continue this conversation and just play it off like a joke. I guess from all the odd reactions/ behavior I had from tonight it didn't make it any better.
And unfortunately, this wasn’t my lucky day. Or night.