#the honstrap

[tigerwolfdemon21]

(shortly after their son is born, all extremely sleep deprived bc of a newborn)

Zoey: Ya know I was thinking, do you think we could create a honussy?

Mira: Three hours of sleep. That's what it takes for this shit to make sense.

Rumi: Why would we need a honussy?

Zoey: I don't know but if we did have one would it be able to get pregnant?

Mira: HOW??

Rumi: The same way the honstrap let us have a son?

Mira: (rubbing her temples) This seems like something we don't really need to worry about.

Rumi; Would it like stick around until the pregnancy is over? Would that cause a strain in the honmoon? Would they feel the same labor pains? Would it come out the honussy?

Zoey: And the bigger question can a honstrap get a honussy pregnant?

(Emmett cries on the baby monitor)

Mira: I'll handle it. Anything to get out of this conversation.

[tigerwolfdemon21]

Mimi: (calling her moms) Heeeey

Zoey: What did you do?

Mimi: Why do you assume I did something?!

Zoey: Saves time.

Mimi: Ya know what no. I'm mad you assume that of me.

Zoey: Okay, bye-

Mimi: WAIT. DON'T GO I'M SORRY, You were right....

Zoey: What did you do?

Mimi:

Zoey:

Mimi:

Zoey:

Mimi: (mumbles under her breath)

Zoey: what?

Mimi: the thing you told me not to do

Zoey: (groans and pulls up a list) Did you kill anyone?

Mimi: No.

Zoey: Are you currently in jail?

Mimi: No.

Zoey: Did you eat one of Eomma's favorite plants?

Mimi: No.

Zoey: Then what the hell did you- (gasps as she realizes what's left) Ryu Park Thibodeaux McIntyre Rivera Reneé Isabella Molly Mi-yeong, did you use the honstrap?!!

Mimi: ....yes....

Zoey: Did all of you use the honstrap?

Mimi: no....

Zoey: okay was it just two of you? or was it just you?

Mimi: just me....

Zoey: (rubbing her temples) please tell me you just wanted to know what it felt like to jerk off

Mimi: .....no....

Zoey: Which one of your girlfriends did you use it on?

Mimi: both....they traded off.

Zoey: BOTH OF THEM?!! Did Sora conjure a honuss-

Mimi: Yes.

Zoey: Did you use any protection of any kind?

Mimi: no. But it's not like 100% effective every time. You just said that to scare us into not using it?! Right?!!!

Zoey: Every time we came inside of the person not using it, with one exception, that person would end up pregnant.

Mimi: heh.....what was the exception?

Zoey: When Your Appa and I came inside your Eomma twice and she ended up with TWINS.

Mimi: (noises of regret)

Zoey: How many times.

Mimi: twice.

Zoey: (groans)

Mimi: in both of them.

Zoey:

Mimi: Mama?

Zoey: (sighs) We're coming over to discuss our options you and your girls.

Mimi: Are you mad at me?

Zoey: No. I'm not mad. (sighs) Shit, my own curiosity is how we ended up with Emmett. Your bubby Jenny's curiosity is how they ended up woth Rina. Shit, Jess and I both exist because my mom's a hoe. Your brother and his girlfriend messed with the honussy and that's how they ended up with Cleo.

Mimi: (in mild horror) So I'm on brand for our family.

Zoey: Yepp.

Mimi: fuck....

Zoey: We'll be there soon. However if both of them or one of them keeps the pregnancy, I would suggest getting a hysterectomy before the baby is born.

Mimi: why?

Zoey: Because all I did when I was having your brother was threaten your Eomma and Appa with you fuckers are next.

Mimi: Oh no.

[tigerwolfdemon21]

The absolute terror that must run through polytrix when the two new hunters ask about the honstrap. Because you know that once they find out that Mimi is biologically related to all three of them and she's a quarterish demon and says something about the honstrap, the new hunters are gonna be confused or curious.

Rumi: (taking care of the plants in her garden)

(the two new hunters do that thing that kids do when they're trying to ask for a last minute sleepover where they're trying to figure out who's gonna ask and eventually hunter 1 loses)

Hunter 1: Mrs. Ryu?

Rumi: mmh?

Hunter 1: We were talking with Mimi about her heritage and we were curious....

Hunter 2: How did you summon the honstrap?!

Rumi:

[tigerwolfdemon21]

what would have happened if Celine let Jenny use the honstrap on her?

Jenny: soo

Celine: no.

Jenny: I didn't even say anything!

Celine: I know that look, that was the same look you gave me before we ended with Rina

Jenny: But you've gone through menopause

Celine: Until I get a hysterectomy. You do not go anywhere near me with that thing and that's if it will even let you use it to begin with.

Jenny: but if it does...

Celine: No.

Jenny: (sad pout)

-after Celine recovered from hysterectomy-

Jenny: soooooo

Celine: (eye roll) go ahead

Jenny: (tries to summon the honstrap and nothing happens) nooo

Celine: (summons it in her hand and gives it to Jenny) Let's see how it reacts-

Jenny: (puts it on and groans) holy shit- (looks down at the honstrap that adjusted to her body and starts laughing hysterically)

Celine: what's so funny?

Jenny: it's fucking circumcised!

Celine: (blinks before looking down at the honstrap and snorts) pffffffffffffft

(they spent sooo long laughing that it takes them awhile to actually fuck because they're trying to figure out how the new honmoon understood that bit of Jewish culture)

[tigerwolfdemon21]

Come and get your smut

here