#the latin lover

[twixnmix]

Rudolph Valentino photographed by Donald Biddle Keyes, 1922.

[newyorkthegoldenage]

The flower-covered casket of Rudolph Valentino, matinee idol of the 1920s, is carried into the Church of St. Malachy for his funeral service, August 26, 1926. Valentino had died at New York Polyclinic Hospital three days earlier, of peritonitis and pleuritis. He was 31.

Photo: AP via the Denver Post

[lyzbrown]

Maybe

I’ve tortured myself thinking about how you really must not have loved me at all when really I guess we just had different ideas about what love meant. Maybe I’m just too passionate, too intense too millennial Maybe I’ve let the love stories lie to me my whole life maybe or maybe I was doing right by myself knowing that the kind of love you could give me wasn’t right wasn’t enough and knowing I could look for more look for better for myself.

[pristinescarlett]

[lyzbrown]

i still love you

nothing is eternal. the coffee gets cold, the cigarette goes out, people change. the polaroids fade and sometimes someone forgets the promises.

so what do we do, have another coffee? that’s it? and if the polaroid was our favourite? do we find someone with whom we can take another similar one? isn’t it a bit disgusting? in time we will find baskets full of polaroids with people to whom we had sold paper promises and what do we do, if we had laid down our dreams on those promises? do we have to throw them away too? but was it all pretend before or are we pretending now?

you know what? i will stay a little longer, even if you go. i will stay holding you a bit longer. i will do it in my thoughts, because now i can no longer hold you in my arms. i don’t care if you don’t love me anymore because i still love you. and more than looking for love at first sight i believe in those who invent opportunities to see each other again.

yes, i will always love you and i will love you more than before, because i will have to do it without you. it will be very difficult and my stomach will hurt but i will be here waiting a bit longer hoping to see you come back. then i will pretend that it was better like this, i will pretend to not be disappointed. i will pretend to forget you, like politicians do with electoral campaign promises. i will pretend to forget the “stay with me”, to no longer believe in things made for two. i will pretend, but inside i will continue believing in love that changes your life.

and i will pretend to let you go where you can find that “something better” that you’re looking for. and i will hate myself because every time we see each other there will be an abyss between the things that i would like to tell you and what i actually tell you. and i will hate myself because that abyss didn’t exist before. all of this to still love you.

after all, loving each other is jumping together into the void, sometimes the price to pay is that he lands on his feet at your feet.

and even if you don’t write to me anymore, even if you’ve forgotten me, i still love you. and when you see me, remember that outside i will look changed, but inside i will always be the one that still believes in us, a little.

[lyzbrown]

if you care, hold me

if someone interests you, be interested in their every worry, nuance, opinion. if someone who loves you is looking for you, find the time to be there even when you don’t have it. if someone cares about you, hold them.

[lyzbrown]

14/06/20

You want so much to stay with that person that you don’t understand that the very best is to not be with them.

There are things that we need to let pass, we need to leave behind and move on.

There are people who don’t deserve to be in our lives and it’s liberating when we understand this.