Summary: Beloved young adult author Yoongi Min, known to the world as author of the Lil King Yoongi saga, has stepped away from the spotlight for the last five years. Coming out of retirement, he is ready to step into new territory: picture books. Armed with an idea centered on his tumultuous childhood, Yoongi is unprepared to confront the friends he lost, the challenges he overcame, and the adventures that shaped him into the man he is today. With a new publisher, whose smile often sends a deep blush over his pale cheeks, can Yoongi make it through the editing, illustrating and launch of his highly anticipated new project? Or will he, like the dragons and little king he wrote about, scorch the earth, unsure how to tend to the swirling emotions around him? Only time, and too many edits, will tell.
Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Slice of Life / Non Idol AU / Fluff / Maybe Smut
Rating: R - NC17
Warnings: Swearing, Kissing, Maybe Smut,
Word Count: 46,045
Tag: #lilkingyoongi
Posting: Uhhh whenever I feel like it but probably Saturdays
Summary: Yoongi’s ready to shop his newest book idea, what he isn’t ready for is you.
Master List
Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead
Tag List
A dark sky streaks with lightening, thunder rumbles throughout the land.
Boulders quake, but our hero stays strong. He pushes his sweatband up and adjusts his hanbok. The sweat still drips down his brow, his scar, long perpendicular to his eye shines in the flash of lightning.
“I am not my brother,” Lil King Yoongi said, his sword unsheathing itself from underneath his garment. “I am not my father, either.”
“Then who are you?” The hooded figure asked. His sword was drawn too, ready to strike in attack.
“I am King Yoongi.”
Lil King Yoongi Volume 1
April
“Damn it,” Yoongi throws his pen across his desk, watching as it nails the framed picture of him and his parents, holding his first ever published piece of writing from when he was a teenager. It was small, a local newspaper that held an essay contest. He had written stunning prose about why he loves books, and the local library. His essay had won, beating out all the competition from his 1000 person high school and surrounding areas. The prize was having his essay turned into a column, and getting to shadow the local newspaper staff for a month. He was allowed to create a column and run 4 articles. Naturally, he chose to read and review books.
Yoongi’s Reading Review became a hit, and after the success of it’s limited run, he was offered a junior staff position. He submitted 1 article a month, full of up to 5 book reviews. He reviewed everything, novels to essay collections, to biographies and new comic book editions. In Summer months, when his classmates were off from school, hanging out at the local pool and the mall, making out on the empty football field and gearing up for football season in the fall, he worked. In the summer they upped his count from one per month to two, and as a rising Junior they upped it again to three. Every dollar he saved went to buying more books, despite what his parents wanted (saving all the money), he couldn’t help but reach for that hardcover fantasy novel. He couldn’t stop himself from indulging in a reissue of a comic he just discovered. Yoongi loved it, exploring new lands and times, sharing what he’d discovered with other people his age. It hadn’t made him popular, perse, but it had ignited a fire within him.
A degree in creative writing, and MFA and a series that has garnered him a Newberry honor, and he’s sitting at his desk. The desk he started writing on as a boy, refinished and brought to his apartment from his parents house, still had indents from when he would write so hard on loose leaf paper that he permanently changed the make up of the desk. Now he has glass resting on top of it, protecting those early scribbles.
With his favorite pen now lost behind a table, the words in front of him look like utter shit.
“Fuck.” He mutters. “Fuck!”
Yoongi has a meeting with a new publisher, someone his agent set him up with so he could make his first foray into official childrens books. He had the idea, and the concept and what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t well, say it. Nothing came when he thought about his newest project. And what did was complete and utter shit.
Why had he thought he could do this?
Easy, he had to. Just like breathing, he had to write.
The Littlest Dumpling, is a story about a little boy who looks, much like he did and does, like a boiled dumpling. He becomes brave as he goes through school and out into the world. His mom calls him Little Dumpling, affectionately, his brother teasingly, and his father prefers more traditional nicknames for his youngest son.
It’s meant to be both hopeful and easily identifiable as a story any kid can cling to. But he can’t get started. And that is terrifying.
Lil King Yoongi had flown out of him. He had written four volumes of it before he got a publishing deal. He knew it inside and out, every aspect of it. His agent had wanted him to make a spin off when the last book came out last year, but he wouldn’t do that. That felt so disingenuous to the characters. There was no prequel, there was no sequel. Lil King Yoongi was complete.
So he took five years off. Went to Korea with his parents, saw his friends, rested and did a few guest review spots for new books and his local paper that still asked him to. All in the hopes that he could, when he was ready, put pen to paper and write his next great work: The Littlest Dumpling.
Then the deadline came - his agent, Marc, set up a meeting with a new publisher. And he tried. He really really tried. But now, sitting in the waiting room, bouncing his leg and trying not to crack his knuckles, he’s going into this meeting with an idea and no pages to show.
“Mr. Min?” Alexis, the assistant asks. “She’s ready for you now.”
Alexis guides him to the office, through a hallway of framed book covers, pictures with authors holding their books and quotes pulled from said books. It’s a gallery wall to end all gallery walls, and Yoongi kind of wishes he was a part of.
Inside the office, which seems more like a fort than a functioning structure, you are standing behind a desk, waiting.
“Mr. Min, welcome to Serendipity Publishing, where we believe every book we create is meant to be. Have a seat. Alexis will you bring some coffee?” You rattle off in quick succession, no hint of annoyance in your voice, but a little sparkle of fire in your eyes.
“Sure thing,” Alexis smiles.
“I’m Y/N,” You extend your hand to him, and he takes it cautiously. ”And I get paid to say that phrase, though I’d much rather not.”
“Oh,” Yoongi’s taken aback. “Okay, then please call me Yoongi.”
“Okay Yoongi. Welcome. I’m so excited to meet you and discuss your work.”
“That won’t last long,” Yoongi mutters.
“What?”
“Nothing - just, don’t get your hopes up. I don’t know if I have anything, good.”
You’re caught off guard by his deprivation, tipping your head to the side and staring at him quizzically. “That seems unlikely given the success with your graphic novels. But note taken. I am ready to be pleasantly disappointed.”
“So, I have this idea -
“Wait,” You hold up a hand and stare at Alexis who has just entered the room. “Do you want cream or sugar?”
“Black, just black,” Yoongi says.
“Great.”
Alexis, hot pink curls bouncing, sets two cups of coffee down and walks out, shutting your office door behind her. Yoongi takes the opportunity to glance around. It’s an office carved out of book shelves. There’s a window, a window seat and your desk in the middle. Every single wall is covered in what appears to be clear floating shelves filled with books.
“Have you edited or published all of these?” He asks.
“The company has, but if you keep looking you’ll find a few that aren’t our label. I snuck them in,” You say.
“Aren’t you going to get caught?”
“And what, fired? I’d love to see them try.”
He nods approvingly. “So you’ve been here long?”
“Yeah, straight out of college, started reading the reject pile, found a few gems, got moved up and eventually here I sit: Head of New Acquisitions, Young Adult and Children’s Lit.”
“That’s a fancy title,” He says.
“Better be, Vassar wasn’t cheap,” You crack a smile, and his shoulders relax.
“Ah you’re a Vassar grad?”
You shrug. “That’s what my diploma says.”
“Interesting,”
“Not up to snuff?”
“I expected a Sarah Lawrence or like, Whitman.”
“Small college in Eastern Washington. Wow!” You laugh. “That’s not where you went, is it?”
“Nope,”
“Berkeley?” You already know.
“Yep.”
“How’d you like the rain?”
He shakes his head and offers a gentle smile. “About as much as you want to drink black coffee.”
“Ah, you noticed?”
“Yeah, I assume you brought yours from home?”
“Of course.”
Yoongi reaches for his mug, with the company logo in gold and rainbow across the front, and takes a sip.
“It’s hot!” You say quickly, watching as he winces.
“Fucking fuck,” Yoongi mutters. “Thanks for the warning.”
“Who takes a sip of coffee like it’s ice water?” You ask, your mind racing to decide if a lawsuit is possible from too hot coffee. How embarrassing, going down for serving an author coffee that was scalding.
“Valid,” He accepts your sympathy easily.
You let the moment pass, then start again. “So you wrote a book.”
“The new one, or the old ones?”
“The new one, and your agent wants you to what, shop it around? We’re willing to make you a deal today, Yoongi.”
“What if my idea is shit?” Yoongi’s earnest gaze is a little concerned, vulnerability and weakness showing through.
“You wrote a five part saga about a lil king that has sold millions. It’s one of the most popular graphic novels in the history of graphic novels. You could go anywhere, do anything,” You lean forward, your voice just above a whisper. “But you’re here.”
“How serendipitous,” he jokes.
“Precisely. So tell me, Mr. Min, Yoongi, what is this new project?”
He takes a deep breath, wishing he had water instead of this coffee.
“Our parents all give us nicknames as kids, whether or not we want them. We either grow into them, or out of them. My new project takes shape with a little boy who affectionately is called, Little Dumpling.”
“Oh my god,” You mutter. “I’m already hooked.”
“The Littlest Dumpling is about this boy. I want the first book to be about his nickname, how he got it, what it means. Then the next to be about adventures he has as his alter ego, Littlest Dumpling, and as himself.”
“Let me guess,” Your elbows prop, chin resting in hands. “You can’t fucking write, can you?”
Yoongi stares at you, unsure how you could possibly know he’s had writers block for a year.
“I - I currently have writers block. But, at present, I have outlined the first three installments.”
“What’s book 1?”
“His classmates find out his nickname.”
You take out a piece of paper that has his name written across the top in very curvy lettering. “And two?”
“His bully picks on him for the lunches he eats.”
“Traditional Korean?”
“Yes,” He agrees.
“I’m in. I love it.”
“But, I don’t have anything written.”
You wave your hand through the air, dismissing his objection. “That’s okay, I’ve signed deals with people who had far less than you do.”
Yoongi isn’t sure if this is comforting or concerning.
“I see that look - but think about it, look at where I am. I know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t doubt that you do, but I’ve never gone to a publisher with an idea and no pages. It’s like streaking across the football field at halftime.”
“I get it, and i know we’ve only been talking for twenty minutes, but trust me, Yoongi. You can do this.”
He inhales through his teeth, sucking in air loudly before exhaling and doing it again.
“I’m going to be incredibly difficult about the illustration, it has to be perfect.”
“Understood, and editing too, I’m assuming?” You ask, jotting his answers down.
“Yes.”
“I have an editor and illustrator in mind for you, both have done work with our authors before to great success. I’ll get the contract sent to your agent and legal team today for them to go over and discuss. What we’re paying you will be included and competitive.” You switch to your computer, drafting an email to legal. That’s what it looks like to Yoongi, but really you’re typing send the contract ASAP.
“That’s fast.”
“Look, you’re Yoongi Min. I can tell you right now there’s at least five other agencies and publishing houses who want you to sign with them. Your current agencies is shitting themselves over losing you and your future projects. The sheer fact that you’re leaving your primary publishing house is, the most exciting get anyone could imagine right now. I know that’s pressure, I know that that means that you are having writers block. But Yoongi, I’m telling you, and I will keep telling you, we are your best option. You can pick who you want. You can go anywhere, truly, but we are dedicated to children’s literature. We are dedicated to the highest quality illustrations and collaboration amongst all our artists. We aren’t some big magnate, or conglomerate. We aren’t going to license your work without you knowing, and we aren’t going to publish something you aren’t 100% proud of. I promise you that.”
“Okay.”
“So, once I send the deal over, please take your time to look it over and understand it all. I will give you a list of editors with a single name starred for who I think you should work with, same for illustrators. But it’s up to you. Serendipity is a fabulous publishing house, and I can guarantee you will not regret signing with us or working with me.”
“You’re incredibly convincing.” He says.
“Like I said, Vassar. Business and creative writing degrees.”
Why are you so hellbent on impressing him?
“Double major, damn.”
“I’m incredibly impressive, Yoongi. And I won’t hide it.”
Yoongi wants to smirk, to keep calm, to remain somewhat nonplussed. But he can’t, not when you are looking at him like he’s the hope diamond and you haven’t yet realized he’s cursed.
He can’t look away, so he whispers instead. “You shouldn’t.”
“So, like I said. I’ll send it over and we can meet next week to sign or you can come by for more hot coffee and turn me down. Either way, we should talk again.”
“Yes, okay, sounds good.” He agrees.
“Great. Do you have any questions for me?”
Yoongi does. “What’s your favorite children’s book?”
You smile, not waiting a moment to respond. “Harriet the Spy for classic literature. Where the Mountain Meets the Moon and Escape from Mr. Lemoncello’s Library for contemporary. Oh and The Westing Game.”
Yoongi beams, he hadn’t been expecting that. Not one book, but four?
“Okay, okay, I haven’t read three of those.”
“You should. You can borrow my copies,” You stand and move to a specific corner of your book shelves, taking down all four and handing them to Yoongi. “Then you have to come back and see me.”
“Okay, sounds like a deal.”
“If you bend pages or damage them in any way I will take it out of my offer.” You warn him, finger pointing accusingly at the middle of his chest. He’s standing a little too close, he realizes that as he backs away.
He picks up his coat and mutters, much louder than he intended. “You’re feisty.”
“Thank you. It’s one of my winning qualities.”
Yoongi has met with a few publishers in his day, and at the behest of Hoseok’s girlfriend, sat through many episodes of Younger starring Sutton Foster and Hilary Duff. But his meetings were never quite like the TV shows, or films, that glamorized publishing houses. No one was itching to sleep with each other, or fuck him while editing his books. But then again, he was in children’s publishing. Perhaps if he wrote a book geared towards adults, he’d have a similar sexy experience. But he hasn’t. Instead he’s just… Yoongi.
The littlest dumpling that ever lived, slinking into his agent’s office to discuss the deal. Or, if his agent has anything to say about it, you.
“She’s the hottest new publisher in the game, Yoongi’s,” Jane Huang says. Her quaffed hair is the color of flames, reds and yellows blurring into orange and curled atop her head. The sides are delicately shaved and bleached blonde. He always gets distracted by the ancient Chinese symbols dancing up her forearm, giving way to rich greens and emeralds that make up the bonsai she has stained into her skin. Jane, or Janie as Yoongi calls her, stares at him from her place behind her desk. Her office far less occupied than yours. “She’s promising you the world. Or at least, what sliver of it she can.”
“It’s all great - but how does the contract look?” Yoongi asks.
“She’s offering more than the others.”
Ah yes, the others. All the notable publishing houses, the few that still cared about his work after his brief hiatus. All offering far less than Serendipity, with a publisher far less enthused than you.
“The contract is clear, you aren’t going to get a better deal for the amount of work you’ve put in,” Jane says.
“I’ve put in a lot of work! There’s a concept, I have outlines!”
“But you haven’t written shit, don’t try to bullshit me, Yoongi.” Her tone is reminiscent of a scolding from his mother - which he knows if he points out, she will absolutely ream him for it.
“Noona, I know. But there will be,” Yoongi waits for her to erupt, hoping for sparks ready to ignite.
Instead she gently rolls her eyes. “I hate it when you call me noona. I’m not even that much older than you, and you have known me for long enough to know that.”
“Sorry, Janie.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you’re feeling confident. I was beginning to think you lost your nerve, and how embarrassing would that be for either of us? Humiliating.”
He scoffs. “I haven’t lost my confidence, mostly. I mean a little. Most of it is totally gone and tied up with my writing ability which, now that it’s lost and probably never coming back, seems like a great time to sign a new contract with a new publisher who -
“Yoongi!” Jane interrupts. “Stop spiraling. You’re fucking fine.”
“Sorry,” He says sinking deeper into his chair.
“She wants to meet with you again?” Jane asks. She finishes putting stickie notes where Yoongi needs to sign the elaborate and thorough contract.
“Yes, to officially sign the contract.”
“Isn’t that why Doc-U-Sign was invented?”
“Yes, she also lent me a few books so i have to give those back too.”
“I’m sorry, she did what?” Jane asks. She keens at him, elbows on her desk, body moving towards him as if she’s about to pounce. “She did what?”
“She lent me a few books -
“Books she’s published?”
“No,” He’s desperately trying not to blush.
“So, social books? Books about writing children’s books?”
“No,” Deeper red, the colors of hell.
“Yoongi,” Jane’s voice rises an octave, screeching in his ears.
“Well if you’d let me get out more than a word I’d tell you that i asked her what her favorite children’s books are, and she let me borrow the ones I hadn’t read.”
“And have you read them?” She asks.
“Of course,” He rolls his eyes.
“She’s flirting.”
“She is not.”
“Yoongi, you’re dense but not stupid.”
“She lent them to me, I read them. I’ll give them back when I sign the contract. That’s it.”
Jane is still smiling, more like smirking and only a little green with envy. “Good, because no matter how hot and talented she is, you can’t fuck your publisher.”
“Who says I want to?” Yoongi feigns ignorance, of course he wants to. He has eyes and ears that heard you spill genius to him.
“The glimmer in your eyes, Yoongi. That’s who.”
“Come on, you’re fucking some younger guy, why can’t I do something a little reckless?”
“And jeopardize your career?”
“I wouldn’t, she wouldn’t.” Though Yoongi has no idea what you would and wouldn’t do, with him. Or anyone that works for you.
“You’re an idiot if you think sleeping with your publisher won’t absolutely tank your reputation and career,” Jane says.
“It’s a hypothetical. I didn’t even know she was flirting with me until two minutes ago!”
“You definitely knew she was flirting, because you were flirting too,” Jane teases. “Of course you were. Have you seen her?”
“Have you seen the guy you’re sleeping with?” He tries desperately to pivot.
“Uh, yes?”
“Great because I haven’t, so tell me who he is.”
“Yoongi!” Jane tips her head back in exasperation.
“And not that we’re coworkers not friends shit, because you have been my agent for five years and we are more than just coworkers.”
“Work friends is better than coworkers,” Jane reminds him.
“You’ve told me about every exploit you’ve had over the last five years, and yet for some unknown reason you won’t tell me about this new person. Is it someone I know?”
Yoongi and Jane met when he won a collegiate award for an initial draft of, what would become the first draft of Lil King Yoongi. He had busied himself turning his Yoongi’s Reading Review into a city wide column, and then in college leading his collegiate paper and winning writing scholarships. She’d been following his career as they both experienced tangential success. Jane had won some of the same prizes years before him. That’s how she got her start, and how she stumbled upon him. Reading his work in a contest for a 5K scholarship.
To say in the last few years they’d become best friends would be a stretch, but Yoongi is right. They’re more than coworkers.
“You know they’re younger than me, what more do you want?” She asks.
“You’re being shady,” Yoongi accuses.
“You’re being nosy.”
”Ms. Huang, I believe I am just trying to be your friend,” Yoongi says.
“He isn’t in publishing if that helps,” Jane concedes. “And he’s around your age. And incredibly hot.”
“That’s more information than I had… so I’ll take it.”
Jane lets a beat pass. “But he isn’t as hot as Y/N.”
“I didn’t even -
“You have eyes, idiot. You know she’s a stunner.”
”Fine - she’s beautiful,” It’s his turn to concede.
“Thank you!”
“But I’m not, she isn’t interested in me. She wants my book, she wants my story. That’s it. That’s all.” He says.
Jane shakes her head. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t Yoongs,” She leans forward again, staring intently at him.
He’s uncomfortable under her gaze. “How do you know?”
“Your eyes, Yoongi. Your eyes.”
“You’re back!” You say, smiling widely at Yoongi as Alexis brings him into your office. “Oo with presents?”
“Just your books,” Yoongi hands the bag to you. “I liked them. Where the Mountain Meets the Moon was my favorite.”
“I’m glad! So, tell me, good news or bad news?”
“Uh, depends?”
“On?”
“I’m ready to sign my contract.”
“Oh shit! Yes! Great news!”
“What would’ve been bad?”
“If you didn’t want to sign it, if you decided you didn’t want to write The Littlest Dumpling. If your old publishing house offered you more money to write more Lil King Yoongi’s. There are a lot of possibilities, Yoongi.”
“Clearly you’ve thought of all of them.”
“Isn’t that my job?”
“That’s fair.”
“Well, while the contract is printed, let me show you the list of illustrators and editors. I’ve already starred the ones that I think would be great for this project.”
You open a folder with his name neatly printed and take out a piece of paper with two columns. Passing it over to him, Yoongi doesn’t take long to skim it and choke on his own spit.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” He says, looking across the top of paper to you.
“What?”
He’s quick on his feet. “I will sign the contract, but I have one stipulation.”
“Oh?” You ask, surprised he doesn’t have more. A lot more. He could ask for almost anything and you’d oblige. You need this win.
“Yes, I will not, under any circumstance, work with him,” Yoongi hands over the list and watches as your eyes linger on the name you had starred.
“Okay, why not?” You ask.
“He’s an asshole.”
“Okay, but what about his work?”
“Who cares?” Yoongi snaps.
You clear your throat, trying a different approach. “Did he wrong you in your past? Is that what it is?”
“Maybe.”
You nod, understanding. “So you won’t work with him because he was a dick in college?”
“High school. And we were childhood friends before that. Our parents are still best friends,” Yoongi rushes through it. A sordid past told in a quick breath.
“Oh my god! Yoongi! That’s even more pathetic.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, it is. Your parents like him, why can’t you?”
Yoongi shakes his head, because really it’s more complicated than a petty disagreement or squabble in high school. It goes back years, decades really, and has hurt Yoongi the entire time. It’s so much more than his parents liking Seokjin, actually his parents liking Seokjin is part of the problem.
“I will never, ever work with that man,” Yoongi says softly, his eyes hard and his jaw set.
“So you’re telling me you won’t sign the contract if I make you work with him?”
“Correct.”
“Okay,” You nod and lean back in your chair, watching him. “So you have two options: One, walk away from Serendipity. Or, two, which I definitely think you should consider: get over it and push your feelings aside to create a great piece of work. Jin would be a perfect editor. He is incredible and has edited several best sellers. He is the best, and it would shock you to know how much we pay him to keep him here instead of going to Penguin or Random House or another boutique publishing house. Insane.”
“I - that’s it?”
“What, I’m not entertaining your teenage angst? Nah, I’m not doing that. I run a business, and if your ego is so fragile you can’t grow up, fine. But that’s who you’re going to work with.” You tell him.
Yoongi exhales. His agent had prepared him for this, well not the Jin of it all, but the potential that his pettiness would be overruled and ignored. He would have to work with people he didn’t like, or who didn’t like him, no matter what field he was in. But this?
Maybe he should grow up and move on. Though Seokjin is the last person he wants touching whatever masterpiece you think he’s capable of writing. But- again - maybe you’re right. Maybe Jin is the best option, and he is finally ready to move past it.
Yoongi inhales deeply through his teeth. “Fine.”
“Fine?” You ask.
“Fine - I’ll,” He exhales sharply, “I’ll bitch about it the entire time.”
“I don’t care.”
“You’re going to be the one who hears about it.”
You smile, already looking forward to it.
“That’s my job. Now tell me, what did you think of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello’s Library?”
Having signed his contract and returned home with another two books that Serendipity had in fact published, Yoongi felt ready to finally put pen to paper. Though the physical demand of crawling on the floor to dig his pen out from behind the table seemed beyond reproach. But, he finally, truly wants to start writing this new piece.
That is, until his phone buzzes, and a new email has arrived.
Subject: Untitled YM Project: Editing
From: Seokjin Kim
Yoongi -
Wow! It’s been a long time. What a weird coincidence you’d stumble into Serendipity Publishing. I am excited to work with you on this next project, Dumpling.
Let’s get coffee and discuss your plans soon. I am eager to figure out a schedule and start working!
Seokjin
PS - I know you’re probably going to request I be taken off this project, and I’d love to tell you there’s a solution besides sucking it up and dealing with me… but unlucky for you, there isn’t. Lucky for me, I get to helm the latest project from Yoongi Min. What a partnership we will be.
Yoongi throws his phone at the wall.
Fucking pompous asshole who thinks he’s god’s gift to literature. What an asshat. Who emails like that? Who says that shit? Who flaunts their status and power in front of someone they have to work with?
Fuck.
Seokjin.
Fucking.
Kim.
Yoongi’s fucked - because of course Seokjin is right. You were right when you said it earlier. There is no one better than Seokjin Kim. And Yoongi, despite his protesting and frustration and youthful hatred, absolutely has to work with him.
Warnings: Swearing! Talking About Sex! Kissing! Making Out! SEX! P-In-V-Consensual-Sex
Word Count: 4.7k
Summary: Yoongi decides to be an adult and face multiple fears. And the history of a long standing feud comes to light.
Master List
Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead
Tag List
“Your highness, what do you want to do?” Hyun-Woo asked.
“Fight.”
“Fight?”
“I will fight for my kingdom. I will fight for our freedom. I will fight to keep our land safe and welcome to everyone. We will fight for what is dear to us. That is this land, and that is our kingdom. Ready the troops,” The Lil King instructed.
“But sir,” Chin-Hae tried to stop him. “Sir, we aren’t ready for battle. The armor isn’t made, the weapons –
“Call on every person in the land, offer them grain for a year and clothing for winter. Every person that can help should help.”
“Okay,” Chin-Hae said, satisfied by the King’s answer.
“And call on my grandmother. We will need her magic.”
The Lil King disappeared into his chamber, shutting the door and sitting at his desk. He stared at the papers in front of him, spells and projections that were being written for this occasion. But they’re untested, how will they work when the forces are surrounding his kingdom, threatening his people? How will he fight?
Lil King Yoongi Vol. 3
October
“Are you sure?” Yoongi whispers, lips against your collarbone, hands toying with the hem of your underwear.
“Yoongi,” You mewl, raising your hips lightly to grind against him. His hardened cock presses into you, pushing all reason and judgment from your mind.
“What?” He asks, pulling away to stare at you, lust in his blown irises.
“We’ve been doing this, dating, for months…. Haven’t we waited long enough?” You ask.
His chest is still pressed to yours, breasts marking him in invisible lust that’s potency is building, drawing him deeper and deeper into your orbit.
“You aren’t officially my girlfriend, I didn’t know if you wanted to wait until we talked to HR.”
“Yoongi, you fingered me last week.”
“I – okay yeah so that’s a form of sex but it’s different.”
“You know how I taste, Yoongi,” You remind him, nails scraping down his neck.
“Yeah, and I’d like another to drink you in, but I want us to be on the same page,” Yoongi says.
“I want to have sex with you, right now.”
“Okay.”
“That’s my enthusiastic consent. Do you want to have sex with me right now?”
“More than you realize,” Yoongi answers.
“Great, there’s condoms in the drawer,” You point towards your nightstand and watch as he rolls off of you and slips his boxers off. His tears the condom open and sheaths himself before turning back to you.
“Oh shit,” You mutter, staring at a completely naked Yoongi.
“Is my body weird?” Is his first thought, and first thought is best thought.
“No! God, sorry! You’re really sexy, and I’m even hornier for you now that you’re naked on my bed than I was when you were pressed against me.”
“Okay that’s a good ego boost,” He says and slips back to his position between your thighs. His lips find yours, passion and heat building as his lips toy with yours. He’s the best kisser you’ve experienced, or maybe you care about him so much that it makes every ministration feel like fireworks. “Are you okay like this?”
“Missionary?” You ask.
“Yeah,”
“Yeah, I kind of like that for our first time we’re keeping it classic.”
“I just want to feel you, every part of you,” Yoongi says and kisses you again.
Your legs wrap around his waist, opening yourself up to him whenever he’s ready to take that step. It’s hard to resist, when he can feel your wetness against him, creating a smooth glide as your hips buck into his.
“Yoongi, you’re killing me,” You moan, tilting your head to the side to catch your breath.
“Okay, okay,” He laughs and slips a hand between you. His deft fingers swirl your clit as he lowers himself to your entrance. “You good?”
“Please just fuck me,” You groan.
Yoongi kisses you again as his hand glides his hardened cock to your entrance.
There’s something thrilling about having sex with someone for the first time, particularly someone you care about. It’s both exciting, promising, and terrifying. This is what Yoongi was scared of, the intimacy that comes with sex, the vulnerability of bearing yourself completely to another person. Of your bodies joining and being unable to hide that birthmark or the scar from when you fell off your bike. The pressure to perform, to be present and there for your partner and bring them relief and bliss as they try to do the same for you. And then, it’s all consuming. The scents, the sensations across every one of your senses in all parts of your body. The way it takes over your mind and all you can think of is their name, over and over again. A prayer. A wish. A command.
“Oh my god,” You mutter as he bottoms out, cock fully inside you, hips stilling to let you adjust to him. “Yoongi.”
“What?” He asks, panicked.
“I have a very good feeling about this,” You say, and use one of your hands to tilt his jaw to you. You lean up to kiss him, and Yoongi begins to set a pace. He pulls out gently at first, slowly stretching you as he begins to rock back and forth.
“Tell me if it’s too much.”
“It’s not, I want more,” you moan.
Yoongi takes your direction and begins to move his hips faster, snapping harder with every thrust. It’s powerful and potent, the way his body conforms to fit into yours, his gentle touch on your face, his lips still pillows of comfort and wanting on your burning skin.
This is sex, Yoongi thinks. This, this is good sex.
Yoongi lays next to you, breath finally returning to nowhere as he pushes hair off his sweaty forehead. Crawling into bed next to him, you snuggle onto his sticky chest, draping a leg across his body.
“So that was,” You start.
“Yeah, that was,” Yoongi laughs.
“I’m glad we waited,” You say.
“You are?”
“Yeah, that way we could spend too much time talking about it and figuring out how we feel about each other.”
“Me too, time’s made me like you even more,” Yoongi says.
“Me too.”
Yoongi kisses your forehead tenderly and hugs you close.
“Can I ask you something?” You ask.
“Yes.”
“What exactly happened with you and Seokjin?”
“I – that’s a long story.”
“Will you tell me?” You ask. It’s more than that. It isn’t a simple request, tell me about this past hurt. It’s a deep sign of connection. Do you trust me enough to tell me? Can you be vulnerable enough to share with me? Give me a piece of yourself?
“Okay.” Yoongi says. “But first, we need water.”
The Kim household was strict, fair but hard on the two boys that were raised within it. Bedtime was the rule, honoring their father and mother was not simply biblical, but expected. Disobeying would result in grounding and punishment so severe they didn’t speak about it at school. Both Kim sons, Seok-Joong and Seokjin, grew steadfast in their parents’ guidance. They were patient and measured like their mother, genial and charming like their father. They dabbled in so many clubs and athletics it was a wonder they had time for homework, let alone Korean school on the weekends. The brothers Kim became well rounded and thus, well respected.
Except for the problem with the Mins.
Yoongi Min and his older brother, Geum-jae, grew in almost parallel lives to the Kim’s. They obeyed their parents, were in many clubs and sports and were respected. Well the eldest was. Yoongi was too busy with art classes and creative writing workshops to play sports. But that didn’t stop him from excelling at everything he tried.
The problem with the Mins, was also the problem with the Kim’s.
Mrs. Kim and Mrs. Min had met when they were pregnant with their first sons and created a sisterhood of the traveling pants type friendship. Their pregnancies, both with sons, created a deep bond between them. One they maintained when they both became pregnant with their second sons as well. They felt like the other could see them, could understand their plights and the pressures of being a mom and provider. They discussed, in hushed voices, their marital problems and shared recipes for traditional Korean dishes and laughed over soju when the kids were asleep or at sleep away camp.
For Mrs. Kim, there was no one more elegant and commanding of respect as Mrs. min.
For Mrs. min, there was no one more poised and put together as Mrs. Kim.
And thus, without ever saying so, they raised their boys in direct competition with each other.
“Yoongi-ah got straight As this semester, how can you explain your B in world history, Seokjin-ah?”
“Seokjin-ah you’re in the same classes as Yoongi-ah, why is he getting 100% and you aren’t making a solid A? Maybe he should tutor you.”
Both phrases were used, edited, and reused so many times Jin knew when his mother was going to say them. He knew the exact score that would elicit a comparison, the exact comment from a teacher that would provoke a comment on how smart or incompetent he was.
At the Min household, the other side of the coin was: “You did better than Seokjin-ah this semester, good job Yoongi-ah.”
These interactions naturally created a resentment and frustration between the two once very close friends. So close Seokjin and Yoongi had called each other brother for years, though in the presence of their parents Yoongi was expected to address Seokjin with the honorific, hyung. They had been inseparable. Fast friends, best friends who at one time knew everything about the other, despite the constant competition their mothers refused to acknowledge they put them through. Their older brothers got off fairly easily, they were the first borns and more in tandem with each other than Yoongi and Seokjin.
Like all friendships, there comes a point where friendship and hormones meet… often to disastrous consequences.
In high school, Yoongi was known throughout their school as the quiet, studious artist. He didn’t make waves; he rode them casually and with ease. Internally, he was a duck paddling under water. That was Yoongi, calm on the outside, panicking on the outside.
Yoongi’s saving grace was how funny he was, hilarious even. Jokes for days that flowed quietly out of his lips and fell on the only person who ever actively sat next to him, Seokjin.
Now, it wasn’t so much that Seokjin hadn’t discovered his humor and comedy yet… well, frankly he hadn’t. He wasn’t sure how to be funny, or what he could say that would make the popular kids he hung out with find him more interesting than just his pretty face. Which is how his habit taking whatever it was Yoongi said and repeating it to a larger, more willing audience began.
Seokjin was popular. Very. Very. Popular. Walk down the halls having multiple people try to high five him, popular. Girls calling his name and waving like a 90s romcom popular. And thus, the comments and jokes Yoongi made circulated to a wider audience. A much wider audience. He didn’t mind, the first or second time. But my junior year, he began to pull away from Jin. Why talk to a friend when they have such loose lips? Didn’t Seokjin know that’s what sunk ships? And would, inevitably sink their friendship? He didn’t seem to realize it, or care that much that he was stealing the comments and intellectual property right out of Yoongi’s mouth to fan the flames of his high school stardom.
The incident occurred in the middle of senior year. Yoongi was walking through the halls, headphones half in, playing nothing of consequence. He rounded the corner, and there was Seokjin with his usual set of fawners. They stared at him, bewildered and beguiled by his handsome face and hilarious retelling of what happened in AP lit. It wasn’t anything exciting, presentations on whatever topic they’d picked for their main thesis essay of the year. It was American lit, so naturally Yoongi was exploring the difference in narrative from a Japanese American and a white American during the internment. He’d found two novels set in the same time period, in the same city that he could compare. Seokjin wanted to know the American fascination with Steinbeck, weren’t there female authors of the same time doing the same thing but better?
But the way Jin told it, it sounded more like a farce a La On the Way to the Forum.
Regardless, as Yoongi rounded the corner, they gawkers started whispering, his name he caught, then from Seokjin
“He hasn’t even kissed a girl. Did you know he steals my jokes? Copies them for his well, parents I guess. He doesn’t have friends. Probably because they know he’s a fucking loser.”
Yoongi was shocked, weren’t they once best friends?
“Did you know he wet the bed until he was 10?” Jin said, telling Yoongi’s secret to these random people. “Apparently, he slept in his brother’s bed too. Until he was twelve.”
Yoongi went home, slammed the door, and never spoke to Jin again. He didn’t answer his parents’ questions about the Kim’s, he didn’t sit near him in class. He didn’t do anything that would involve spending time with Seokjin.
That was a decade ago. He still hasn’t forgiven him.
“Yoongi,” You whisper, feeling all kinds of guilt wash over you.
“Y/N,” He says. “I don’t want your pity.”
“No, I’m not pitying you. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?”
“When you first started the editing, you didn’t want to work with Jin and I forced you to. I was cold and unsympathetic. I didn’t give it the time or space you needed, I forced it. I’m sorry.”
Yoongi wasn’t expecting an apology, truthfully, he’d forgotten about the conversation almost completely. You were pretty firm with him, but it was nothing out of the ordinary for a publisher dealing with a stubborn author.
“Thank you,” Yoongi says.
“I, he completely destroyed your trust. I flitted about like it was nothing but that’s not fair, it was something. Something major.”
“Yeah, it was traumatizing. Took me a while to even talk about it.”
“I’m so sorry honey,” You say, stroking his face.
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”
“I know, but I could’ve been nicer, kinder to you.”
“I appreciate that.”
“You know,” You say. “I kind of want you to stay.”
“You want me to stay?”
“I want you to stay the night.”
“Oh,” Yoongi’s surprised. “You do?”
“Fuck, you don’t have to. It’s just an idea.”
“I don’t have a toothbrush,” He says. That’s his first thought, his greatest fear. Like he can’t run home and get clothes and come back.
“I have an idea,”
“Okay?”
“Why don’t you go home and get clothes, and your toothbrush, and I’ll change the sheets?”
“Did you just read my mind?” He laughs.
“I did,” You answer, kissing his cheek.
Waking up next to Yoongi is an experience. His hair a little mussed, eyes closed and lips gently parted, he’s so beautiful and soft.
“Stop staring,” He mutters.
“Why?”
“It’s weird.”
“I’ve only been doing it for maybe thirty seconds.”
“Is that a way of saying we haven’t crossed into the weird territory yet?”
“Yes.”
“Mm,” Yoongi reaches for you and you scoot towards him. His arm around your waist, you’re drifting back to sleep to the sound of his heartbeat and the breath inflating his lungs.
“Brunch?” You mutter.
“Yeah, in like two hours.”
The Ruby Poppy doesn’t have brunch, however its sister restaurant, Sunflowers & Daffodils does. They don’t have a cozy corner booth for you to snuggle into, but instead offer cute tables exploding with flowers.
Yoongi pulls your chair out and you sit, hand leaving his as he moves to his own chair.
“I really want French toast,” You declare.
“Wanna split French toast and an omelette?” Yoongi asks.
“Oo, best of both worlds. Yes.”
“I think going to The Ruby Poppy weekly has helped me figure out your food preferences.”
“That and you’ve cooked me dinner multiple times a week for at least two months, so that probably helps too.”
“I like cooking for you.”
“I like it when you cook for me.”
“Yoongi?” A voice calls, and it stops Yoongi as he’s about to take your hand.
“God fucking damnit,” Yoongi mutters and stares up at the ceiling. “Fuck me.”
“Y/N?” The voice says as it approaches, a woman following close behind.
“Seokjin!” You say and stand. “Wow.”
He hugs you gently and stares at Yoongi. “Mr. Min.”
“Mr. Kim,” Yoongi rolls his eyes.
You’re not quite sure what to do, their relationship is strained and stunted at the moment Jin decided to betray Yoongi and never apologize. Now that you know, do you still view Jin the same?
“This is my girlfriend, Violette,” Jin introduces the woman with him.
“I didn’t know you were seeing someone,” You say. “Hi Violette, I’m Y/N, Jin’s boss. And this grump is Yoongi, an author at –
“You’re Lil King Yoongi!”
“I – yeah.”
“The kids I work with, at my gallery love your books. There’s one kid who draws a little king in all his pieces at art camp. You’re a legend,” Violette smiles.
It occurs to Yoongi that Violette has no idea how vile Seokjin can be. It also occurs to him, more potently than before, that Seokjin exists in a world where his decision to betray Yoongi doesn’t weigh heavily on his life at all. He probably forgot about it, moved on so quickly it would’ve given Yoongi whiplash. How fucking unfair.
“Oh, thank you,” Yoongi says, voice stiff and posture equally as rigid.
“What are you two doing here?” Jin asks. His eyes drift from Yoongi’s hand, awkwardly resting on the table, to the relaxed nature he walked up on.
“Having brunch,” You answer.
“A working brunch? On a Saturday? Wow Y/N, really burning the candle at both ends,” Jin laughs.
“We’re discussing what I need to do to get you fired from books two and three,” Yoongi answers. “Apparently, it’s a lot of sabotage and telling of secrets.”
“Ah, yes, probably would require blackmail of some sort. Would you really do that Yoongi, and disappoint our mothers?” Seokjin asks.
“My mother would understand.”
After the incident, Mrs. Min and Mr. Min sat down to discuss what to do. They hadn’t realized the contempt brewing between Yoongi and Seokjin, though they realized they should’ve seen it coming. Mrs. Min began to separate herself from Mrs. Kim, which broke her heart. But Yoongi wasn’t speaking to them, after his initial breakdown, and how could she continue a friendship when her friend’s son, wounded hers?
“Surely she wouldn’t,” Seokjin argues.
“How long have you two known each other?” Violette asks.
“Birth,” Yoongi answers.
“Oh wow,”
“Our brothers are friends, our moms met when they were pregnant with them.” Seokjin tells her.
“But you two?”
“Used to be friends, now we’re enemies,” Yoongi answers.
“Enemies is a bit strong,” Seokjin says, pacifying Yoongi’s attitude. “I’m your editor, you’re my author. We’re coworkers if anything.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Their working on Yoongi’s next project, and shockingly, it’s going well,” You step in to course correct the conversation, which is failing dismally.
“Well, we don’t need to talk shop on a Saturday. It was fun running into you,” Jin says.
“Yes, I’ll see you this week.”
“It was nice to meet you, Violette,” Yoongi says. He doesn’t acknowledge Seokjin.
The couple walks away, leaving you with a disgruntled and frustrated Yoongi.
“Can’t you let it go, just for brunch?” You ask.
“No.”
“So we’re going to eat in silence?”
“No, we can talk.”
“Okay –
“Do you think Violette knows?”
“About his youthful indiscretion?”
“It’s not an indiscretion, he publicly humiliated me.”
“Right.”
“I wonder if she knows he’s a monster.”
“Could it be possible that he’s grown up?”
“He’s never apologized, he’s never told his parents what happened. My mother lost her best friend because he hasn’t owned up to it.”
“At what point do you leave it in the past?”
“I – if I knew the answer to that I probably wouldn’t be so uptight about it.”
“Maybe it’s something you need to explore.”
Yoongi can take the hint, and quiets himself over his cup of coffee. He can see it, the chasm this fight with Seokjin is beginning to create between them, a rift that if he doesn’t get it under control, will doom them.
He reaches his hand for yours. “I’ll talk to Seokjin, okay?”
“You will?”
“I will.”
“Okay, I’m proud of you.”
“I haven’t done it yet. Odds are I chicken out and never speak to him outside of the office again.”
“Yoongi,” You sigh.
“No, I’ll figure it out, promise.”
“You don’t have to do it for me.”
“I know, but, I don’t want my dislike and distrust of him, on a personal level, to affect us.” Yoongi says.
“Us?” You ask.
“Don’t do that,” Yoongi blushes.
You smile. “Do what?”
“Act like we’re separate people, and not a couple.”
“Are we, a couple?”
“You’re my secret girlfriend, aren’t you?”
“I, yes.” It’s your turn to blush.
“Then we’re a couple.”
Yoongi and Hoseok sit on Namjoon’s couch, watching as he paces back and forth, back and forth. Yoongi can’t believe it’s taken him over a month from when he found out to fess up to Hoseok, it seems ridiculous to wait that long over information that could easily be sent in a text. But Namjoon insisted on telling him in person, so now Yoongi is impatiently waiting for this conversation to start.
“What is wrong with you?” Hoseok asks.
“I have to tell you something, and it’s not a big deal,” Namjoon says.
“Is this about your secret girlfriend?” Hoseok asks.
“Yes.”
“It’s Jane, isn’t it?”
“How’d you know?” Namjoon asks, stopping in his tracks.
Hoseok shrugs. “I’m psychic.”
“You are not,” Yoongi laughs.
“I just knew, how could you not? You talk about her constantly, and it’s exhausting. You wouldn’t be talking about her that much if you haven’t seen her naked,” He explains.
“Shit,” Yoongi says.
“Yeah, damn. How long have you known?”
“Six months at least,” Hoseok says.
“And you didn’t tell me?” Yoongi asks, outraged.
“I thought you knew!”
“You thought dense little Yoongi knew?” Namjoon laughs.
“I caught them, that’s how I found out,” Yoongi says.
“Oh shit, naked?” Hoseok asks.
“Post,” Yoongi clarifies.
“Oh, so kind of like if I showed up at your apartment any evening after 8pm?” Hoseok teases.
“And Y/N was there, naked in his bed?” Namjoon adds.
“Fuck you both,” Yoongi says.
“Very protective over your non-HR sanctioned secret girlfriend,” Hoseok teases.
“Of course, he is, he’s got love in his eyes, can’t you tell?” Namjoon says.
“I hate you both.”
“Joon – who said I love you first, you or Jane?” Hoseok asks.
“Jane,” Namjoon answers. “She knew, not before me, but she said it before I did.”
“Let’s really think about it,” Yoongi starts. “If Namjoon said it first, would Janie have accepted it, or just made fun of him?”
“Made fun of him for sure,” Hoseok says.
“So maybe it worked out that you let her take the lead.”
“Did you kiss her first?”
“Yes, I did. She sat next to me, but I kissed her first.”
“Good, with consent I’m assuming.”
“Yes, dad, with consent.”
“Good,” Hoseok nods. Jane would’ve castrated him if he made an unwarranted advance. Rightfully so, he would’ve deserved it.
“And your anniversary?”
“October 3rd.”
The silence is brief, because Yoongi needs to talk to his friends about what happened at brunch.
“I told Y/N I’d talk to Seokjin,” He says.
“About high school?” Namjoon asks.
“Yeah.”
Hoseok is surprised. “What are you going to say to him?”
“I’m going to ask if he remembers it and ask if it ever crossed his mind how that day affected me and my life. Which I know it didn’t, because he’s a narcissistic asshole.”
“He could’ve evolved,” Namjoon suggests.
“That’s what Y/N said too. He could’ve evolved. But how does he get to be in love and have a successful relationship after how awful he was?” Yoongi asks.
“The same way that you get to, Yoongi.”
“But, I was the victim. He bullied me. He stole my jokes and comments for his own popularity, he took from me.”
“Yeah, and you’ve made it very difficult for him to show you that he’s changed,” Hoseok says.
“I don’t believe he has.”
“How would you know?” Namjoon asks.
“That’s fair.”
“Maybe Seokjin has totally changed and is an evolved person. But he also might not remember that incident in high school.”
Yoongi sighs, this is a new low he hadn’t quite examined. “How pathetic does that make me if he doesn’t remember it?”
“Seems like it’d make him the insane one. He can’t remember being a bully? That’s sociopathic,” Hoseok says. He rises from his spot on the couch and retreats to the bathroom to grab more water for himself and Yoongi.
“I don’t want this to ruin what Y/N and I have,” Yoongi tells them. “I can feel it, this fucking thunder just off the horizon. I can see her giving me an ultimatum, a fix it or we’re over… I don’t want that.”
“If your relationship ends, you want it to be because you’re a neurotic mess, right?” Namjoon asks.
“Yes.”
“Well, you’re making the real step towards not letting it,” Hoseok says.
“Unrelated – did you find the answer you were looking for?” Namjoon asks Yoongi, smirking mischievously.
“What question?” Hoseok asks.
“What is good sex?” Namjoon asks.
“Oh, that’s a good question,” Hoseok says.
“Thank you!” Yoongi cheers. “Vindicated!”
“It’s a good question that I’m not sure has an answer,” Hoseok says. “More of a nebulous idea.”
“Aren’t you sex negative?”
“Yes, but this is a universal question anyone having sex is asking. What does it mean to have good sex, or mind-blowing sex, or insane sex?” He asks.
“Namjoon said insane sex first!” Yoongi cheers, so glad he’s not the only one who thinks it’s worth asking.
“Yeah, what qualifies it? Namjoon, how was your anniversary sex?” Hoseok asks.
“It was,” Namjoon pauses. “I understand the error of my ways.”
“The error?” Yoongi howls, laughing hysterically.
“It wasn’t an error! Good sex is… My anniversary sex was really good. It wasn’t like, Pam and Tommy sex. It was tender and romantic, which can fall into the category of good sex.”
“So, it’s an umbrella with lots of little facets?” Hoseok asks.
“That makes so much more sense,” Yoongi says. “See, syntax matters.”
Namjoon and Hoseok roll their eyes.
“No one said it didn’t.”
“Good sex can’t just be about orgasms, because some people, a lot of women, don’t reach climax during sex. So whatever good sex is has to be measured by individual people,” Hoseok explains.
“Sex negative but sex knowledgeable,” Yoongi says.
“Yeah. Think about sex with Jimin, that was good sex, but wasn’t sex with Y/N also good?”
Yoongi blushes, bright pink and red across his cheeks and neck. “Yeah.”
“They both can exist, different experiences, with different aspects, all good sex.”
“Hoseokie is a genius,” Namjoon laughs.
“That, gentlemen, is a fact you should already know.”
You: I miss you
Yoongi: I miss you too
You: How was your boys night?
Yoongi: It was fun, not as fun as making out with you, but fun
You: Things can be different kinds of fun
Yoongi: Can I ask you something?
You: Anything
Yoongi: What’s good sex?
You: Do you mean do we have good sex, or are you asking what good sex is in the broader sense?
Yoongi: I guess both, if my embarrassment can take the answer to the former
You: I think we have good sex… I think we might be headed towards great sex
Yoongi: Oh thank god
You: For me, good sex depends on my mood. Lately, with you, it’s so good because I feel connected to you, engrossed in you… but it’s also good because you make me feel like … it’s indescribable. We’ll have moments where good sex is defined by a quickie in the bathroom while we’re at dinner… it just depends
Yoongi: I want to have sex with you, right fucking now
Summary: Drinks and discussions of work … Is this something more?
Master List
Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead
Tag List
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lil King asked his mother.
“Why didn’t I tell you?”
“Yes.”
“Of the prophecy?”
“Yes.”
“You’re a child, children don’t know of prophecies and their potential. Your head was too full of dreams. You needed to stay grounded. A prophecy was only going to make your daydreams worse… like turning them into reality.” She said with ice in her voice.
“But I’m a King, I’m the King to rule them all. Slayer of dragons, harmonizer or lands! I am the King!”
“And what good has knowing your fate done for you?” She asked.
Lil King Yoongi Volume 1
August Pt. 1
Yoongi exhales and adjusts his shirt sleeves before breathing out a pointed, “Fuck you.”
“Aye, fuck you,” Seokjin responds.
“Oh fuck you,” he says back.
“Fuck you!”
“Oh come off it,” Jin says.
“Fuck off,”
“I mean it, fuck you.”
They stare in silence, unsure what else to say that hasn’t already spoken between them. Jin glances at Yoongi, confused and annoyed by the interaction they’d just shared. Hadn’t they been polite and friendly when Alexis had brought them to your office? Hadn’t they just shared pleasantries and light conversation? Yes, they had. They absolutely had. So where did this sudden hostility and venom come from?
“Stop looking at me,” Yoongi barks.
“Then stop staring at me”
“Fuck -
“Oh my god! Stop it! You two are acting like babies when you need to fucking apologize and get over your egos.”
They exchange a glance before turning to the voice.
“Oh, Y/N,” Jin says and stands. Alexis is next to her, holding a try with iced waters and coffee.
“I cannot believe you two children,” You comment, sitting down at your desk.
“We are grown men,” Yoongi says.
“Who act like children.”
“That is true,” Jin agrees.
“We’re here because you two can’t seem to work together. So, let’s go over the notes. Yoongi, what was the comment that set you off?”
“All of them. Particularly the fact that pages are lacking sparkle,” Yoongi snarls.
“I didn’t mean sparkle like, razzle dazzle or jazz hands.”
“Why so many Chicago references?” Yoongi asks.
“I meant that pages 5-10 are missing something, something the other pages have,” Jin corrects.
“I have an idea,” You offer. You’ve read all of Yoongi’s pages and all of Seokjin’s notes multiple times. Jin’s notes are great, but you’ve got an idea that will both most likely piss Yoongi off but give Jin new ideas.
“Okay, but if it has anything to do with –
“Open mind,” You repeat your new catchphrase for Yoongi.
“Fine, what is it?”
"What if you wrote it in rhyme?" You suggest.
"That's offensive." Is Yoongi’s first comment, and first thought.
"Offensive?" Jin asks.
"Yes,"
You roll your eyes. "To who?"
"Me, the author. I'm offended."
"Have you actually read research on rhyme schemes and how they help with students RAP?" Seokjin asks.
"Rap? Spitting bars?"
"No, rate, accuracy, prosody," You answer.
"Oh,"
"You have no idea what those are, do you?" You ask.
"Nope." He says.
"Yoongi, how are you going to publish a set of children's books if you don't understand the fundamentals of children reading?" Seokjin asks, a little softer and kinder than one would expect in this situation.
Yoongi glances from Jin to you, and he sees it in both your eyes. You’re both right, and he has homework to do.
"I - I don't know,” He answers.
"I’m going to lend you a few books to read, which I want you to read ASAP. Then, I want you to do an entire third edit of this book all in rhyme."
"Do you always assign homework?" Yoongi asks.
"Only to people who need it."
"Why can't my book -
“Because Yoongi. You're not writing for adults, or teenagers. Your content has to be skewed so it’s appropriate, and so does your language. Your sentences are a fifth grade reading level. A 7-year-old isn't going to pick this up and finish it."
"Why not?" He asks.
"It's too hard!" Jin says.
“Can’t it elevate their vocabulary?” Yoongi asks.
“Not if they can’t sound it out. You can do it, Yoongi. Just read the books and take time with it.”
“There’s a reason that racist Dr. Seuss is so popular, rhyme,” Jin says.
“That’s so, not me. At all. Me as an author or me as a human person. Not me at all.”
“Maybe it’ll be the growth you need.” You suggest.
“Or it’ll kill this book before it ever takes flight,” Yoongi mutters.
“There’s only one way to find out,” Seokjin says.
Yoongi: Did you know that rhyming dictionaries are organized by end sounds?
You: I did
Yoongi: How?
You: I have a copy of one and have used it before
Yoongi: Oh… Is that like common for publishers?
You: Only if they write books for themselves on the side, or where editors before
Yoongi: You edited children’s books too? Not just Two Affairs to Remember?
You: Lets not talk about that title
Yoongi: It’s the funniest book title I’ve ever read
You: It’s honestly the worst book title in the history of books
Yoongi: It’s iconic. The fact it didn’t win awards and isn’t talked about more is wild
You: It wasn’t my choice, or Tae’s for that matter. The publisher loved the symmetry and its connection to the film.
Yoongi: Tae?
You: Old habits die hard
Yoongi: Are you two still close?
You: We’re friendly, but that’s about it.
Yoongi: To be fair, he’s a great writer
You: He is
Yoongi: Very talented, and he doesn’t even write in a rhyme scheme
You: You’re not going to get out of it
Yoongi: I know, but wouldn’t it be fun if I did?
You: I guess, your book might suffer
Yoongi: How do you just know?
You: Know what?
Yoongi: When something will work
You: Experience
Yoongi: But what if it fails
You: Yoongi, you’re not going to fail. We haven’t even put out cover art and I’m fielding dozens of emails a day about press appearances
Yoongi: Oh god, don’t tell me that. It’s going to send me into a spiral
You: Well it’s your reality. You’re highly sought after
Yoongi: By you, too?
You: Yoongi…
Yoongi: Y/N…
You: Anyway, keep exploring that dictionary. It’ll be helpful I promise
Yoongi: I read the first two chapters of that book, Know Better, Do Better and shit… I didn’t realize teaching reading was so complicated
You: Yes, but isn’t it fascinating? How we learn, why certain systems work better than others… the importance of early reading intervention
Yoongi: I’m learning a lot. There’s going to be at least 10 more edits of this book until I get it perfect
You: Good, I love that
To: Seokjin
From: Yoongi
Subject: Rhyming
The littlest dumpling didn’t have many friends
It wasn’t because he couldn’t make amends
In fact he was great at saying sorry
But people would forget like Finding Dory
His best friend was named ____ (something that rhymes with Jin)
Together they always winned (can I make up words?)
Except for their bully, Seokjin
Who made sure their lives were a living hell
And bullied them until the very last bell
Because Jin always, always, had to win
But Dumpling stayed strong
He knew all along
That his mom was waiting for him at home
With a hug, a kiss and something that rhymes with home
Look – I’m trying okay?
Yoongi
To: Yoongi
From: Seokjin
Subject: RE: Rhyming
Yoongi –
Maybe rhyming is a bad idea for you. I thought you were good at everything? This is just… sad.
Seokjin
To: Seokjin
From: Yoongi
Subject: ReRe: Rhyming
I fucking told you I didn’t want to do this. I can write books with a pattern in the words, but rhyming is not my forte nor is it a skill I ever want to harness. Fuck you, you pretentious prick.
Yoongi
To: Yoongi
From: Seokjin
Subject: ReReRe: Rhyming
Was I not being polite and helpful? Jesus, Yoongi. Finish a draft in rhyme so we can compare it to the original. Y/N will want to see it, even if it’s shit or you hate it.
Jin
To: Seokjin
From: Yoongi
Subject: ReReReRe: Rhyming
Fine.
YGM
“I hear you got in trouble,” Jane says. She’s called Yoongi into her office for their semi regular meetings. Which over the years have become more and more frequent, and after his years of hiatus, are much needed.
“I did,” Yoongi agrees.
“But you’re working on it?”
“Yeah, can I ask you something?” Yoongi asks.
“Of course, you never hesitate to.”
“How come you didn’t tell me about Y/N and Taehyung Kim?”
Jane swallows and stares at him with wide eyes and a guilty smile. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. Seems kind of important for me to know.”
“You were off the grid for almost five years, Yoongi. You didn’t know because you didn’t know, I wasn’t hiding it from you.”
“You sure? Because she seemed to think I did know.”
“Well, you could’ve. Didn’t you google her?”
“Absolutely not, why would I google her before meeting her?”
“Like a normal fucking person, anyone would.”
“I didn’t.”
Jane drinks from her mug and stares at him, the little amount of steam drifting up to fog her glasses. “Clearly, you should’ve. Then you would’ve seen the last remnants of the drama.”
“The last remnants?”
“Yep, the movie rights that were bought, the trailer to the film that’s dropping soon, the teaser photos of the cast. Henry Golding as the lead,” Jane rattles on.
“Oh shit, Y/N must be feeling like shit. I mean, wow. To have an accidental indiscretion rule her career?”
“It wasn’t just an accidental indiscretion; they were falling in love,” Jane says.
“Did you know Taehyung?”
“I knew Y/N, professionally. But I’m sure she’s told you we’ve started hanging out socially.”
“So have we,” Yoongi regrets it immediately.
“Oh?”
“I mean, we did once. For work drinks that turned social, but we might do it again.”
“Have sex?” Jane’s excited, how desperately she wants her favorite client to get laid by the hottest person in publishing: you.
“We haven’t even, we’ve hugged once! One time! One hug!” Yoongi says, cheeks turning red.
“Oh? How was it?”
He shudders. “Shut up.”
“Tell me about it!”
“What is there to tell? We hugged, probably longer than a standard hug, but we did.” He says.
“And?”
“And what? She’s, my boss. There’s been texting, too.” Again, he regrets the fact that his mouth is moving faster than his brain and he wishes so desperately he could stop it.
“Shut up!” Jane claps her hands together in elation. “You two are texting?”
“Yes,” He slumps further in his chair. Unlike the chairs in your office, these are meant for moody artists to burrow deep in and hide from the world.
“I can’t believe you are starting to date your publisher! What a baller move, Yoongi.”
“I am not dating her, we’re friends,” He corrects.
“Oh?” Jane says, eyebrows rising. “Friends?”
“Yes. And she’s my boss, so that out ways whatever feelings I may or may not have for her.”
“Does it now?” Jane asks. She can’t believe this, when was the last time Yoongi was like this over anyone? So cute with his obvious crush, the little hearts in his vision unmissable.
“It’s supposed to,” He shrugs.
“Wow, when are you going to fuck her?” Jane laughs.
“Oh my god!” Yoongi exclaims. “I’m never telling you anything, ever. Ever again.”
“I’ll tell you who I’m sleeping with.”
“No – no. This isn’t a quid pro quo; I’m not sleeping with her in exchange for you telling me who you’re fucking. No, that’s horrible Janie. I won’t do it.”
Jane’s caught off guard by how serious Yoongi is taking her joke. She would never encourage him to sleep with anyone just to trade information. She’ll tell him who she’s bedding… eventually.
“We can’t have backroom deals?” She smiles gently, letting him know she’s kidding.
“Not about this.”
“You like her.”
He rolls his eyes. “She’s special, that’s all I’ve got.”
“That’s how I feel about the guy I’m dating.”
“Oh my god, a window into your super-secret relationship! Is he an employee? You know Y/N thinks he’s a friend of mine, but I told her you’d never stoop so low as to date a friend of mine. They’re not good enough for you,” Yoongi sits up a little straighter.
“What does that even mean? Being good enough for someone?” Jane asks.
“You’ve earned someone better, maybe, than my friends. Someone who has the means and desires to treat you like a queen, if that’s what you want.”
Yoongi treads lightly whenever they discuss Jane’s relationships, never wanting to put something on her she wouldn’t say about herself, but also struggles to find ways to describe her that… fit. An enigma, Jane will argue anything he says to a fault, and while Yoongi usually loves the banter, when it comes to romantic relationships, it’s too easy to get wrapped up and fuck it all up.
“Maybe, but how do you know that my secret lover doesn’t do all those things?” She asks him.
“He could,” Yoongi agrees.
“He does.”
“That’s all I get to know today, isn’t it?” He asks her.
“Yep,” Jane smiles. “Now, you have a shit ton of press lined up for the release and pre-orders of The Littlest Dumpling. I mean a shit show. Do you want to go over talking points today or do you want to save it?”
“How can we have talking points – the book isn’t done. I just sent in a fucking rhyming edit that’s actually garbage.”
“How close are you to finishing it?”
“Well, if I keep it in rhyme, at least five more edits, if not maybe five but probably closer to ten.”
“Yoongi,” Jane groans.
“How many edits did Lil King Yoongi Volumes 1-4 go through before they were ready to print? At least ten each, with large-and-small-scale changes. I took out chapters from book 4 and put it in book 2, it was work! This is work! I also have fucking homework,” He explains.
“Homework? Do tell,” Jane says.
“I have to read all these books on how children learn to read, and how phonics and teaching reading work. All to make the text of this series palatable for children.”
“Oh damn, Jin’s got you doing homework?” She asks.
“Seokjin doesn’t have me doing anything. Y/N does.”
“Because you now have to have meetings with her, too?”
“The three of us meet, at the request of me after being told that I am one of her worst authors ever,” He tells her.
“Please tell me you don’t take fucking pride in that?”
“No, it’s embarrassing! All I can hear is my mother, why can’t you be nice to everyone like Seokjin-ah? Why can’t you treat people with respect like Seokjin-ah does? Yoongi-ah, he’s your elder, show him respect. All. I. Hear.”
“He’s –
“Please don’t finish that sentence.”
“Why not?”
“Whatever it is, it’s going to make me so mad, I can already feel it. He’s an asshole.”
“Okay, but, the faster you finish book one, the sooner you can write books two and three and hopefully be done with him,” Jane reminds him.
“I know.”
“Have you picked an illustrator?”
“Y/N wants me to meet with some guy named Jungkook, who does really beautiful traditional Korean illustrations.”
“Are you gonna ask –
“My ex?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah, I kind of want to see if the two of them can somehow work together. I think the American traditionalist illustration mixed with Korean would lend itself to the metaphors of being an immigrant and second generation.”
“So many layers for a book about a dumpling.”
Yoongi arrives to The Ruby Poppy first and finds his way to a little corner both where, if he isn’t mistaken, both parties have to sit almost side by side. It’s the only place outside that’s available, and the temperature today is far more moderate than it has been, making for a perfect summer evening. He sits, his jeans ripped and loose on his legs, his t-shirt tucked in haphazardly. He’s never been one for a uniform, but this summer he’s definitely leaning into it.
He scours the drink menu on his phone. Last time he just got a whiskey, but this time he wanted to try something a little less…. Toxic masculine. If that’s even what drinking a whiskey neat is. It can’t possibly be, but regardless he’s wanting to try one of their themed, and half off, happy hour cocktails.
“Interesting table,” He hears you say as you approach him.
“Yeah, it’s the only place outside,” Yoongi stands to greet you. “Hug?”
“Depends, are we discussing work?”
“I don’t know, we can.”
“Let’s not and say we did,” You smile and reach for him. He takes a step towards you and meets your embrace. He holds you a little tighter than last time, nose pressed into your hair, he breathes in the scent of your conditioner, and whatever you put on your hair after you straightened it. The softness of your body envelopes him, and he wants to hold on just a moment longer.
“So,” You say, pulling away and scooting into the booth. “What are we drinking?”
“I was thinking one of their mules, they’ve got a ginger-hibiscus that looks interesting.”
“Oh, that sounds delicious.”
“Should we order two of them?”
“Yes, and an appetizer. Or the whole menu. I’m starving,” You comment and take a sip of your water. You can see clear across the patio of The Ruby Poppy. It’s quite pretty with the lights all strung up and illuminated. It brings warmth as the sun slowly descends. You’re also noticing how close you are to Yoongi, legs touching, shoulders practically bumping. This will do nothing positive for the crush you are trying to suppress.
“How’s work going?” He asks.
“What? I thought we said no work!”
“We said no work, but I figured that means my work. How my book is going, that idiot editor, et cetera. Not your work. I don’t know what else you do day to day.”
“I manage everyone and everything.”
“Besides Sadie’s team?”
You smile, of course he remembered. “Yes, but I check in with her. I read from the reject pile, I try to scope out promising new authors and illustrators and designers. I meet with the board and department heads almost daily. I’m sort of in all the places at once, and of course I meet with new authors, or established ones, as often as is needed.”
“Yet you somehow find time to sit here with me.”
“I did.”
“Why?” Yoongi asks.
“I wanted to.”
It’s so simple, you wanted to see him, him alone and not with Seokjin or Alexis poking her head in. Just you and Yoongi, a moment of reprieve to get to know him a little better. To share a drink and laugh and maybe see if the chemistry you have isn’t just lightning in a bottle, but a sustainable, stable enlightenment.
“How was your day though, difficult?”
“No, it was alright actually. Someone just finished the draft of the third book in a proposed series of ten, so that was very exciting. It’ll be more exciting when we hit the halfway point though.”
“Can you tell me who?”
“Legally, no.”
“Fine, don’t break the rules for me,” He teases.
“Aren’t I already?” You ask.
The waiter comes back with your drinks and takes your food order. You decide to order three entrees to split: classic British pub food staples in Shepherds Pie, a perfect roast dinner and Fish & Chips.
Yoongi, feeling confident and embolden by a few sips of booze, slips his hand down to his thigh, then drifts it to yours. You stare at him, confusion at first, then a flirty smile.
“Bold move, Yoongi,” You say.
“Is it too much?”
“No, I don’t think so.” He says.
You smile softly. “I’m glad we’re doing this again.”
“Are you now?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Why?” You ask.
“Because I wanted to see you.”
You blush momentarily, not lingering on it at all. Not in the way you desperately want to. There’s time for over analyzing when he’s not staring at you looking so fucking cute it hurts your insides. “How was your day? Did you accomplish whatever you wanted to?”
“I did, edited a draft of the rhyming edition with Jin’s notes, and then jotted down more concrete plot points for books two and three. Altogether, productive.”
“I’m so glad.”
“Because I’m listening and taking direction?”
“Yes, and that you feel a sense of accomplishment.”
“Oh, don’t worry, it won’t last long. I’ll be back to feeling unstable and like I have no talent very, very soon.”
“Don’t,”
“I can’t help it, it’s all in my head I know. But I’m sure the spiral will start. Maybe once I finish a draft I don’t totally hate.”
“What do you hate about your work?”
“I think it’s all contrived and stupid, that’s largely my problem.”
“You think your work is derivative?” You ask.
“I think it can be. We’re all just telling the same stories in different words, but that doesn’t mean mine is better than someone else’s.”
“It kind of does, Yoongi. You’re a great writer.”
“I know you say that, and there’s hard evidence of it, but it doesn’t negate how I feel about my writing.”
“Which is that it’s contrived.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know…”
“It feels like I’m rewriting The Brave Little Toaster.”
“Oh my god, I hadn’t even thought of it. Don’t worry, legal will comb through it to ensure there’s no parallels or copying.”
“I know there isn’t, all I remember is that the toaster gets lost and almost smashed. So I can’t possibly have copied it. But what if I am just taking The Little Engine that Could but making it you know, blatantly Asian?”
“I don’t think so, the Littlest Dumpling isn’t trying to do anything other than exist within a world where his bully is a huge asshole. That’s it. I don’t think you’re copying it in any way. If you were, I wouldn’t have bought it for so much fucking money.”
“It was an obscene amount for the work I put in,” He says.
“Where have I heard that before?” You tease.
“I’m just an anxious author. Insufferable is what my friend Hoseok has called me, and Janie agrees.”
“We all have those things that we just can’t let go, no matter what. Your fear, particularly when it comes to writing and publishing, is that for you.” You tell him.
“You’re very go with the flow – where does that come from? Weed?”
“No, I don’t do drugs. I’m just practiced in the art of authors freaking out.”
“And I’m freaking out?”
“Constantly.”
“I do think it’s my primary state of being, anxious and always spiraling.”
“Have you always been this way?”
“Oh, yeah. I was an anxious child, but my parents put a lot of pressure on me and my brother to be the best, or better than the Kim’s.”
“Is that where the problem stems?” You ask.
“Yeah, sort of. That’s part of it.”
“My parents were very hands off, to a fault, to the point where I had to fend for myself completely and totally. It wasn’t fun, and I don’t recommend it at all.”
“You grew up with no parental pressure?”
“I, yeah. No pressure to be anything, but because of that I had to put the pressure on myself to succeed and to do well. I had to fight for myself, which is terrifying to be thirteen and stressing about perfect grades.”
“How did you maintain that?”
“I just ran myself to the bone until I got to college, then I coasted because I realized it wasn’t sustainable. Well, I collapsed one day and then had to go to the hospital for extreme dehydration and sleep deprivation. Then I learned.”
College had been… tough. Finding friends, finding your niche had been more difficult than it was in high school where you had fit in with the highly academic students. College was full of social quandaries, drinking, no curfew and no parents. Not that it was much different from your upbringing, but it felt totally insane, and unhinged. You spent freshman year trying not to drown while gaining weight rapidly, finding your footing and your voice…. Then declaring English as your major, with all sights on becoming an editor and maybe publisher one day. You could do it. You had to do it. No one believed in you but you, could you let yourself down? No, absolutely not.
“Shit, Y/N,” Yoongi’s hand squeezes your thigh gently.
“I know, but I’m okay and I drink plenty of water and sleep a ton. So, I’m fine now.”
“Good,” He says earnestly, eyes watching the placid expression on your face.
“Tell me something,” You request, turning your body more towards him.
“Okay, what?”
“Mm, your first crush.”
“My first crush?”
“Yes, then the book that made you want to be an author.”
“My first crush was this girl named Mai, she lived down the street and we went to elementary school together. She moved after third grade and I never saw her again. The book that made me love reading, and pushed me to become an author was honestly, when I sat down and read Charlotte’s Web.”
“No way,” Your smile falters, not because he can’t love Charlotte’s Web, it’s just not the book you thought he’d pick. Who loves Charlotte’s Web? Not you, that’s for certain.
“Yes way, I hated it so much, I thought that I could write something better, that I could read something better. But there weren’t books about little Asian boys living their best lives or achieving anything. I set out to find them, and when I couldn’t, I started writing them.”
“I get so tired of hearing the phrase representation matters, but time and time again, it’s proven that it does.”
“You don’t want representation?”
“No – I just hate hearing the phrase. We should just be doing it, but instead we have this stupid phrase that gets used to placate audiences and reminding them we have value. I just want us to be seen and heard equally.”
“Is that why you focus on minorities and POC’s at Serendipity?”
“Yes. I’ve got the power, I better fucking use it.”
Yoongi wants to tell you you’re so sexy, that in this moment, you’re the hottest person he’s ever seen, and he wants desperately to kiss you. But he won’t, he’ll just reach the hand that was once on your thigh towards your open palm, and he’ll hold your hand tight, because right now, that’s all he can do.
Exiting the restaurant, Yoongi walks you to your car. He pauses, unsure what the move is. You stare up at him, though the height difference isn’t much, it does create a shift in the dynamics. Yoongi reaches up first, to place his hand on your cheek. You lean into his soft touch. He brings his lips to your forehead.
“Text me when you get home,” Yoongi asks, eyes staring into yours.
“Okay, same to you.”
“Yeah, and I’ll see you at our next meeting?” He asks.
“We have illustrators coming in, it’ll be quite exciting!” You remind him.
“Can I kiss you again?”
“On my lips or on my forehead?”
“Either.”
“Yes.”
Yoongi leans in, his lips finding the exact spot they were just in, and he plants a kiss on your forehead, lingering as he makes contact with your skin.
Warnings: Swearing! Talking About Sex! Kissing! Making Out!
Word Count: 4.8k
Summary: August and September roll through with two breakdowns, a relationship unveiling and bonds forging stronger than before.
Master List
Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead
Tag List
“It was good to offer them grain,” Sir Hyun Woo said. He stood next to Lil King, dutifully watching as the other soldiers gave grain and rice to the people.
“It was the decision that’s best for the people. My feelings on the matter don’t mean anything.” Yoongi said.
“Sometimes, as a leader –
“You’ve never been the leader of a kingdom, how could you possibly have advice for me?”
“I know you are angry, but taking it out on me and the people of your kingdom is not the answer, your highness,” Hyun Wood said.
“Perhaps I should take it out on you, and you alone.”
“I am honored to serve you, your highness. But is that wise?”
Lil King Yoongi stared up at the man, who had been his father’s second in command, his go-to, his confidante. Yoongi glared at him, angered by his defiance and correct assumptions.
“I hate you.” Lil King spat on the snow-covered ground and retreated into the castle.
Lil King Yoongi Vol. 2
August Pt. 3
Yoongi arrives at your house with a few minutes to spare, and naturally spends them checking his reflection in his mirror and wondering if he has anything to say, other than, we’ll go at your speed… but if we do that we can’t keep kissing or spending evenings cuddled in a restaurant booth. That’s too much for his heart, it will be too much for his heart if you keep it up, too.
He gets out of his car right on time and rings your doorbell. Your house isn’t huge, a modest first home you purchased a few years prior when the money from Two Affairs to Remember came in, and your signing bonus from this new job. He stares at it admiringly, he’s still in an apartment. A spacious apartment with lots of windows that does cost him a fair penny every month.
You answer quickly, and he groans internally for how cute and cuddly you look.
“Hi,” You smile softly, and Yoongi returns it.
“Hi,” He says.
“Come in, shoes off please.”
Yoongi steps inside and does as you asked, slipping his shoes off his feet and following you towards your kitchen. He’d make a quip about a hello hug but doesn’t want to push it. Though the closeness, the intimacy of a hug might just be enough to remind both of you that you’re in this, whatever this is, together.
“Can I get you something to drink?” You ask.
“Uh, water’s fine.”
“Flat or sparkling?” You ask.
“Flat.”
You fill a glass for him and set it next to where he’s perched himself on a bar stool.
“So,” You start.
“So,” He repeats.
“I’m sorry.”
This catches Yoongi by surprise. “Sorry for what?”
“I feel like I’ve been really wishy washy, and not clear or firm in what I’m feeling or what I want,” You explain.
“Oh,” Yoongi says. “I guess I have been too.”
“No, you’ve been pretty clear, Yoongi. I’m the one that’s been jerking you around.”
“You had a really traumatic experience dating someone you work with, I think that warrants a little fear,” Yoongi says, the empathy in his eyes tugging at your heart.
“I know, I know it does, but that doesn’t mean I can and should be carrying on the way I have been. It isn’t fair to you.”
“Okay?” He asks.
“I – god Yoongi why do you look at me like that?” You ask, frustrated by his mere existence.
“Like what? He asks.
“Like you have so much compassion for me it’s oozing out of your pores, and like you just want to hold me and make it all better!”
He sighs heavily, the little tension he’d been carrying dissipating. “I do, to both of them. I’d like to kiss you again, too, but that seems to be off the table.”
“I,” You pause, exhaling. “I want that. I do. But I’m so fucking scared, Yoongi. I’m scared that this is going to fail, that I’ll lose my job, that –
“Hey,” Yoongi stands from his stool and walks to you. He places his hands on your shoulders. “Take a breath.”
“Okay,” You say, a ragged breath in through your nose and out through your mouth made difficult by the tears that had started to fall. “Everyone thinks I’m a slut Yoongi, everyone thinks I got my job by fucking my way to the top. They think I’m too dirty to work in childrens lit, but that’s always been my passion.”
“Honey,” He cooes, not thinking about what it implied as he wipes your tears with his thumbs.
“It’s all they think about when my name gets brought up. I hide behind my work but if you and I – and Yoongi I want to. I want to be with you. God I’m a fucking mess.”
You take a step out of his grasp and disappear to the powder bath where you blow your nose and wipe your tears. Yoongi, having watched you with great attention to detail, opens the cabinet and fills a glass with water for you.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m usually the neurotic mess, so you having a moment is truly okay. You’ve listened to me seethe at Seokjin for far too long for two grown men.” He says.
“That’s true.”
“Let me take care of you,” Yoongi requests, and it causes you to stop. Not since Taehyung have you let someone take care of you. Or have you wanted to let someone, anyone, care for you in any romantic capacity. Taehyung had done a number on your heart, and your ability to trust. Which sounds cliché and basic, but it’s true. The revelation that Taehyung had an entire other life, a different girlfriend that he was lying to, too, shook every part of you to your core. How did it go unnoticed? How did you mistake his busy schedule for work when it was really, her? And, once it came out, how had you concocted a solution that sure saved your career but broke your heart further? Only now to want to jump into a similar relationship again?
Yoongi could be different.
Yoongi is different.
Maybe … maybe there’s hope.
“Okay.” You whisper.
“What do you need?” Yoongi asks.
“Can we just sit on the couch?” You ask, vulnerability wearing so potently in your voice.
“Yeah, we can.”
You take Yoongi’s hand and guide him to the couch, where he lies down and you rest your head on his chest, his arms snaking around your waist.
“I can’t believe I had a full meltdown.”
“Why?”
“That’s a level of vulnerability we haven’t gotten to, and yet here I am, laying on your chest with tears drying on my cheeks. Totally exposed,” You explain.
“Why don’t you think we’ve gotten to that point?” He asks.
“You just, we just… I don’t know. We just kissed.”
“We’ve been texting constantly, going on weekly if not twice a week dates to The Ruby Poppy for over a month… this might be casual but it isn’t nothing,” Yoongi says.
“And you admitted to your colossal crush on me,” You tease.
“And you admitted you fantasize about me.”
“God, we’re a match aren’t we?” You laugh. You sit up softly, to get a better look at Yoongi’s face.
“Hm?” He asks, staring at you.
“You didn’t kiss me when you got here.”
“I didn’t.”
“You owe me one,” You say.
“You owe me two.”
“Two?”
“Yeah, if you get one, I want two.”
“That seems fair.”
Yoongi adjusts, placing himself at a better position for kissing you. Which he does, slowly and methodically, leaning his lips down until they grace yours. It’s gentle and calm for all of five seconds before his hands are slipping under the hem of your shirt to rest on your waist, and your hands are in his black locks. It’s calm, but then his tongue breaches your mouth and what was once gentle and soft is heated and passionate. This isn’t just kissing; this is making out. This is all the sexual frustration that’s been brewing between you for weeks, months at this point. All coming out in the gentle mewls that escape Yoongi’s lips, the moans leaving yours, both swallowed and gulped down as fuel.
This is a fire.
But maybe neither of you will burn.
Sitting in your office, a week later, you glance at the clock. Your patience, which you have mastered, is wearing thin. Why? Oh you’re waiting for a certain author to show up for his meeting. He’s late, which is unusual, for him to be late at all is unheard of, but five minutes?
“Sorry, fuck, sorry,” Yoongi says as he rushes into your office.
“What the fuck Yoongi? Where have you been?” You demand as he finally sits down in his chair.
“I know, I got caught up with edits and looking at a draft of a sketch from Jimin that I lost track of time.”
You stare at him, watching as Alexis leaves and Yoongi sits. He catches your expression but isn’t quite sure what your distaste is directed at.
“What are you wearing?” You ask.
Yoongi glances down at his wardrobe, a white long sleeve t-shirt and navy and white linen overalls. “What about it?”
“Why are you dressed like a train conductor?”
“I - I am not!” He argues.
“You are. Are Thomas and friends waiting outside for you?”
“Shut up!”
“Did you forget to say your morning mantra? I think I can. I think I can, I think I can pull these off?” You laugh hysterically.
Yoongi scowls. “That was terrible.”
“If the train you’re conducting leaves at 9am, and the train the cool people are on is actually a Range Rover hybrid, how long will it take you to realize your friends don’t want to hang out with you?” You ask.
“Why are you being so mean?” He asks.
You stare at him; he hasn’t called you out before. “Honest answer?”
“Yeah, honest answer.”
“You look so fucking cute, and we’re in my office,” You drop your voice to a low whisper. “And I really want to kiss you - but I can’t. So, I’m being a bitch. Sorry.”
“You want to kiss me?” Yoongi repeats in an equally quiet decibel.
“Yeah, badly.”
“You think I look cute?” He asks.
“So cute.”
“You wanna take my overalls off me?”
“That’s harassment,” You scold in mock horror.
“Oh, so it’s a joke when you say it but when I do it’s a problem?”
You stare at him, unwavering in the bit you’ve started. “I’m gonna need to speak to your union rep about this behavior.”
“Come on!” He laughs.
“The United Transportation Union, or I’m sorry, who heads the Hogwarts Express?”
“You’re not funny.”
“I just need to know if the undercut will display prominently with the curve of your hog head hat?” You ask.
“Shouldn’t you be embarrassed to know this much about trains?” Yoongi counters.
“Oh honey, baby, sweetie, darling. I’m an editor. Do you know how many books I’ve read about trains?”
“Planes, and automobiles too, right?”
“Speaking of,” You say.
“Great transition,” He comments.
“You got lost in an edit?”
“Yeah, I don’t know, seeing those illustrations has really pushed me into a new creative space.”
“You didn’t have to leave it to meet me, we could’ve rescheduled.”
“And miss a chance to see you?” Yoongi asks in mock horror. “I would never.”
“Yoongi,” You blush.
“What? Too much?”
“Just enough.”
September
Namjoon stills, his hips no longer moving methodically to the pace he had set, his eyes still screwed shut as the last remnants of bliss from his orgasm recede. He rolls over, lying flat on his back and exhales. His heart still pounds in his ears, body finding a new pace now that he’s no longer actively fucking his girlfriend. He runs a hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead.
“Fuck,” He mutters. “Do we keep getting better?”
“Of course, we do,” She says, sitting up and running a hand through her once beautifully quaffed hair. She reaches for her glasses and slips them on before crawling out of bed. Grabbing the few lingering pieces of clothing off the floor, she retreats into his bathroom to clean up. Once somewhat ready, her dress and jewelry are strewn somewhere between the front door and the bedroom, she leans on the door frame and watches her boyfriend. His shoulders expand as he inhales and stretches, an expanse of tan skin she could easily sink her teeth into again, and again, and again. Just like she did moments ago and has been doing for nearly a year.
“Staring? Wasn’t I just inside you?” Namjoon asks, laughter in his voice as he slips his boxers on.
“Yes, and yes,” She agrees.
“Can’t get enough Noona?” He teases.
“Correct,” She agrees.
Picking up the rest of her clothing, she’s quick to slip them on.
“Thanks for this quickie, I know it’s not ideal but you’ve been driving me crazy,” She tells him.
“What did I do?”
“Breathe, you breathe and respond to texts and it goes straight to my clit, okay?” She saunters over to him, hands resting on his chest as he dips to capture her lips. At this rate they could easily tumble back to bed and she could miss her next two meetings.
“Well, I’m glad we could make this happen,” He says. “I couldn’t wait until tonight, either.”
“Yeah, that too.”
“Text me when you get to work so I know you made it okay, yeah?” Namjoon asks.
“Yeah, I’ll do that.”
She turns and starts to head out of the apartment, picking up discarded pieces of her outfit as she goes. Necklace here, earrings there, her actual dress and leather jacket before slipping her shoes finally by the door.
“I’ll see you after work?” She asks.
“Of course, babe. Decide what you want for dinner and I’ll cook. Or we can order out.” Namjoon says from his new post in the kitchen, making himself lunch.
“Sounds good. Love you,” She says as she steps through the door and into the hallway, smack into the one person she didn’t want to see.
“Jane?” Yoongi asks.
“Yoongi!” Jane says.
An awkward silence befalls them, Yoongi staring at Jane, Jane staring at Yoongi. Silence filling with all the words they refuse to speak to each other. He takes in her appearance, some semblance of just gotten dressed but not totally polished. She takes in how he’s scrutinizing her, noticing the dress that’s not totally on right, the earrings still in her palm. Jane’s cheeks are flushed and rosy, make up smudged.
“I fucking knew it,” Yoongi whispers.
“Yoongi,” Jane says.
“Namjoon!” Yoongi barrels past her and into the apartment, where he’s overwhelmed with the scent of the sex they just had. “I fucking knew it!”
“Knew – Yoongi!” Namjoon says, whishing he had put a shirt on. The shock is in his eyes as he glances quickly to Jane, trying to decide if they should just lie or come clean.
“You two – you two are fucking,” Yoongi is positively giddy at this news.
“I – it’s more than that,” Namjoon says, awkwardly scratching his neck and deciding that no, in fact he can’t lie about this.
“I’m going to be late,” Jane says looking to Namjoon to clarify that she can leave.
“Yeah, honey, go ahead.”
“Oh, but we will be discussing this,” Yoongi says.
“Fine,” Jane turns and leaves quicker than she came, completely embarrassed.
She had wanted to tell Yoongi about her relationship with Namjoon… just… when she was ready. And not after being caught post afternoon delight. And not when she has a meeting with a different client who thankfully has zero stake in her personal life.
“You have explaining to do,” Yoongi tells Namjoon as he kicks off his shoes and jacket. Wasn’t Namjoon the one who had asked him to come over?
“What do you want to know?” Namjoon asks.
“How long?”
“Almost a year.”
“Are you in love?”
Namjoon nods. “Yes.”
“Shit, man,” Yoongi says. He sits down on the couch and watches as Namjoon flits about the kitchen, bringing waters for them both.
“I know.”
“How did it start?” Yoongi asks.
“Remember my birthday, last year, when we had that dinner and Noona crashed it?”
“I do,” Yoongi agrees.
“Well, after you went home, everyone else went home too. Except Jane. She stayed and we had a drink, then two, and she came home with me.” Namjoon tells him.
“That’s what started it? Me leaving early from your birthday party?”
“Not everything is about you, but yes that’s what started it.”
“That’s the first time you fucked?” Yoongi asks.
“Yep.”
“And now, your birthday is next week and that marks a year?”
“No, we made it official in October, so we’ve got a little time left to plan whatever it is she wants to do for it,” Namjoon explains.
“What will she want to do?”
“I’m thinking a really nice dinner, like hundreds of dollars, and insane sex,” Namjoon explains.
“What is insane sex?” Yoongi asks.
“Anniversary sex, special sex, good sex,” Namjoon’s answer is truly not helpful.
“How do you measure how good sex is?” Yoongi asks.
“Oh honey, if you have to ask clearly you don’t know.”
“No – that’s not it. I’m sex neutral,” Yoongi says.
“Right, but you still asked. So spill, what new milestone have you and Y/N gotten to?”
“Y/N kissed. A lot. A lot of making out. Maybe some hands in places… but I’m terrified to have sex with her, and she’s terrified to date me.”
“Why?” Namjoon asks.
“To which thing?”
“She’s scared because of her ex, makes sense. Why are you scared to have sex? It’s not like you’ve never had it before,” Namjoon laughs.
“What if I’m bad at it? Or my body is weird or I’m so horrible in bed she’s offended?”
“Has anyone ever complained after having sex with you?” Namjoon asks, stifling his laugh in his glass of water.
“The last person I had sex with was Jimin,” Yoongi reminds him.
“Did he complain?”
“No – never. It’s just very different situation, anatomically.”
“And emotionally,” Namjoon agrees.
“I don’t know about that.”
“Oh, so you think you’re falling in love?”
“I don’t know, but this doesn’t feel like nothing,” Yoongi shrugs.
“Interesting,” Namjoon says. “Have you told her you’re scared?”
“That would be so fucking pathetic, admitting to her that I’m scared to have sex with her? She’s, her. Shouldn’t she already know?”
“How would she already know, Yoongi? She can’t read your mind and while I gather she knows you fairly well at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has no idea you’re this stressed about sex.”
“I – I don’t want to tell her!”
“Can’t you talk to Jimin about it? You dated for like three years, ask him.”
“Call my ex and ask about my strongest traits in bed? That’s a level of pathetic only Seokjin has reached,” Yoongi says.
“Why are you so anxious about it? One night of potentially bad sex isn’t going to ruin whatever it is you two are building, Yoongi. That’s not how love and attraction work.”
“But couldn’t a bad fuck result in losing attraction?” Yoongi asks.
“Not if she’s really into you, and also really understands how neurotic you are.”
“She does, she gets it I think.”
Namjoon finishes his water. “Then maybe you’re worrying about nothing.”
“Maybe… Maybe we need to get drunk like you and Jane did.”
“It made for a slightly fuzzy experience,” Namjoon says.
“Okay, fine, maybe not.”
“Yeah, our second time was very nerve-wracking, but Noona is, well, her. So she… dominated.”
“I don’t want to know,” Yoongi covers his ears with his hands.
“That’s all I’ll say.”
“Does Hoseok know?”
“Nope, and we weren’t even going to tell you yet.”
“Well, honored you invited me over when you knew your girlfriend was going to be here too.”
“Yeah, poor planning. I thought I had more time between her leaving and you showing up to clean up.”
“You love Janie?” Yoongi asks.
“I do, very much.”
“How much shit can I give her for not telling me?”
Namjoon laughs. “Oh, as much as you want. She’s got it coming, that’s for sure.”
“Good, I plan to.”
To: Seokjin
From: Yoongi
Subject: Draft 4
Here’s draft four.
YGM
To: Yoongi
From: Seokjin
Subject: Re: Draft 4
Yoongi,
You’re gonna hate me for saying this – I think this is the version of the book. There are a few parts where you can simplify your vocabulary, but other than that…. It’s nearly perfect, like my handsome face.
My mother would like me to tell you that she’s very impressed with your career. So good on you, Yoongi-ah.
Seokjin
To: Seokjin
From: Yoongi
Subject: Re: Draft 4
How dare you say that just to send me into a panic spiral.
Fuck you.
The illustrations aren’t even near finished.
Tell your mom thanks, and that her son is barely better than a common tick.
YGM
To: Yoongi
From: Seokjin
Subject: Re: Draft 4
I’m presenting it to Y/N as the penultimate edit.
Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?
Seokjin
“I am so excited to discuss the penultimate edit!” You say, staring at a haggard looking Yoongi and a placid Seokjin. What has happened in the last week that Yoongi looks less like a person and more like the shell of himself?
Seokjin agrees. “I am too. It’s clear, it’s funny, it has a cadence that’s fun to read. It’s great, Yoongi.”
“Thank you,” Yoongi mutters. “The illustrations aren’t done though.”
“No, and they won’t be for another few months, but since you’re so close to finishing this draft, it’s a perfect time to start working on book number two,” You remind him.
“The sooner you write them the sooner we don’t have to work together, mi amigo,” Jin nudges Yoongi, who simply recoils from his touch and glares.
“Super.”
“Yoongi, are you okay?” You ask, eyeing him suspiciously. You can tell he isn’t, his eyes are red, he’s got bags under them and he looks like he just rolled out of a not restorative sleep.
“Fine,” he shrugs.
“I don’t believe you,” You tell him.
“I don’t either,” Seokjin says.
“You don’t have to. Are we done here?” Yoongi asks.
“I,” You’re stunned. “We can be.”
“Great, I’ll see you two later,” Yoongi stands and exits quickly, leaving you and Seokjin absolutely perplexed.
“What the fuck was that?” You ask him.
“Oh, you know Yoongi. Nothing like a depressive episode and questioning his self-worth to really wrap up a project.”
“He gets like this?”
“Not frequently, but semi-regularly.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t be too worried, he’ll figure it out.”
“Okay, but are you worried?”
“As his editor? No, he might need to take a few months off writing before he does book number two, but we’re on track to be done early,” Jin shrugs.
“Okay, if you’re not worried, I won’t be.”
It’s a lie, you absolutely are worried. But you don’t have long after Seokjin leaves before you have some form of an answer.
Yoongi: I’m doing that radical bravery thing where you ask for help when you need it
Yoongi: So …. Will you come over?
You: Absolutely, right now?
Yoongi: Yes
You: I’m on my way – do you want me to bring anything?
Yoongi: No – just you, please
Yoongi’s apartment complex is nice. Doorman knows everyone by name, nice. And his doorman is confused, if not a little surprised that Yoongi of all people has a female guest at 2PM in the afternoon. Regardless, he lets you up and the elevator attendant presses the button to Yoongi’s floor, six.
You knock on the heavy wooden door, and Yoongi, puffy red eyes and tear-stained t-shirt opens the door.
“Hey,” He mutters and steps aside so you can come in. He shuts the door softly and takes your hand, dragging you towards his bedroom. It seems like an odd start, but soon he’s under his blankets and so are you. He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your chest. Yoongi inhales slowly, and exhales at equal speed. He adjusts to make sure you’re comfortable, before breathing you in again.
You don’t know what to say, and instead of empty words you begin to rub his back and kiss his hair.
“I’m sorry I was a prick in the meeting. I’m sorry,” He whispers.
“It’s okay, I’m just worried about you.”
“I didn’t need to be an asshole though,” He says.
You continue the soft circles. “It’s okay, really. I just needed to know you’re okay, and you’re very clearly not.”
“I know.”
You kiss his forehead. “I don’t care about the meeting. I care about this, right now.”
“Yeah?” He asks.
“Yes. You can tell me what’s on your mind, or we can just cuddle. Up to you.”
“I think the draft Seokjin loves is shit,” He confides.
“Yoongi, that’s not true.”
“It is!”
“It’s a great draft, but it doesn’t have to be the penultimate one. Seokjin will keep giving notes and feedback until you’re satisfied. Or we hint the printing deadline. Either way, you have final say Yoongi.” Your voice is so soft, comforting him in a tight hug that begins melting away all his stress.
“You’re not going to judge me if I keep working at it?” He asks.
“No, Yoongi. Never.”
Yoongi exhales, relaxing a miniscule amount.
“As long as you meet your deadline… It doesn’t matter how many edits you want to do. But I have a feeling that’s not the entire reason why you’ve been unable to get out of bed,” You say.
“Before Lil King Yoongi Volume 1 came out, I stayed in bed for two months. One afternoon is hardly in the record books,” He tells you.
“Why?” You ask.
“Because Y/N. I’m not good enough. The success of Lil King was a fluke. I’m not clever or intelligent. My work is contrived and basic. Anyone can fucking publish children’s books.”
You shake your head. “Yeah, anyone can. But not everyone can create a modern classic, Yoongi. But you are.”
“I can’t.”
“You’re already three edits into it.”
“You’re just saying that,” He mutters.
“So, you don’t believe me, either?” You ask.
“No, logically my brain does believe you. My feelings think you’re lying.”
“I’m not lying, I wouldn’t lie to you.” You kiss his forehead again.
“Or you want me to think you won’t.”
“You really think that?”
“No,” He whispers.
“As your publisher, I won’t lie to you.”
“As my, whatever you are to me?” He asks.
“I’ll do my best to be honest with you, always. If you’ll do the same,” You say.
“I will,” Yoongi sticks his pinky up, and you intertwine yours with his.
“Your work isn’t contrived.”
He lets out a sigh. “You know, I don’t let a lot of people see me like this.”
“Falling apart?”
“In pieces, yeah.”
“Why are you letting me?” You ask.
Yoongi pulls away and sits up, so he can look at you fully. His eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips, tracing the shape of them and back up.
“You let me in, about Taehyung, about your fears of us dating… You were vulnerable and trusting with me. That’s what I’m trying to be with you,” He explains.
“I really like you,” You whisper.
“Yeah? What about me having a massive panic and depressive episode and staying in my bed for the foreseeable future is super sexy?” He genuinely wants to know, because if he was you, he might’ve never let you see him like this.
“Your honesty,” You tease. “And how soft your eyes are.”
“Yeah?” He asks.
“Yeah, I like them a lot.”
“I was born with them,” He laughs.
“Yoongi?” You ask.
“Yes?”
“Can I kiss you? I mean, would that, would that be okay with how you’re feeling?”
“All I want is for you to kiss me,” Yoongi slinks back down the bed and lays on his side, mirroring your posture. His arm drapes over your hips, hand resting on the small of your back and creeping slowly towards your ass. It pulls you closer, and the hand not propping your head up pulls at the fabric of his t-shirt.
His lips are soft, just like the other day when he held you close on your couch. But tonight his touch is lighter, a feather on your skin as he delicately kisses you. Why is kissing him the most romantic and sensual experience? Hairs on your arm standing, toes curling, heart completely turning into goo over his touch. He deepens the kiss, tongue tracing the seam of your lips, gently prying them open for your tongue to come out and tease him.
A soft mewl leaves his lips, and you pull away to stare at his soft eyes and flushed skin.
“Be my girlfriend?” Yoongi asks.
You stare at him, then nod.
“I really want to,” You whisper, and he kisses you again.
Summary: Yoongi’s back from a writing retreat and ready to flirt – er share what he’s written.
Master List
Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead
Tag List
“The sword will not save you,” Hyunki said, unsheathing the weapon and handing it to the Lil King.
“Why not?” Lil King Yoongi asked.
“A sword is just metal, it’s the person who wields it who holds its power.”
“I am its power?” Lil King asked.
“Yes, you are.”
He tried to examin the sword, but the weight was far too heavy for him. “What if I’m not strong enough?”
“Have you tried?”
“No,” He muttered, staring at the engraving on the handle. His name in Korean, branded into the hilt. It had been made for him, and only him.
“Then you’ll never know,” Hyunki told him.
Lil King Yoongi Volume 1
June
“Mr. Min, she’s ready for you now,” Alexis stands in front of him, waiting for him to glance up at her through his lashes. He hates coming back to a place after a long time away, the weird sense of familiarity mixed with dread. Like going back to school after summer break, something he had dreaded in his later teen years. Alexis guides him to your office with the clear ease of someone who comes to this place every single day, and does this action over and over and over again.
“Great,” Yoongi mutters as he shuffles his feet, one after the other towards your office. It looks exactly the same as it did the last time he was here, two months ago, the last time he saw you. He immediately had a freak out over Seokjin, and Janie sent him on a writing retreat for four weeks. Big Sur, was a little too… outdoors for him, but the alternative option was Ojai and what would he do there? Look at grapes shrivel before being barreled and turned into wine? No thank you. The fresh air and the mountains… had worked and he had what he considered the first draft and a shit ton of notes for book one of The Littlest Dumpling.
“Yoongi!” You say cheerily. You smile broadly at him. “Welcome back.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Have a seat. Alexis, can you bring us some water and lemonade?”
“Sure thing,” She says and disappears.
“So, how was your writing retreat?”
“If I said unsuccessful, would I be released from my contract?”
You exhale cautiously. “Yoongi, did you write something?”
“Yeah, but I think it’s total shit.”
“Have you sent it to Seokjin?” You ask.
“No, he’s going to tell me it’s utter shit.” Yoongi crosses his arms, an action Jane would tell him closes him off to opportunity and good energy.
“Maybe, but he’s your editor, and that’s his job.”
“I wrote a lot, probably too much for a picture book. This isn’t The Berenstein Bears,” He hoped you’d like his little joke, but you didn’t seem to care for it as you moved quickly past it.
“It could be. Who’s to say it isn’t?” You say.
“I - that would be insane.”
“No it wouldn’t. Your books could be geared towards 1st and 2nd graders, but we all know kids up until 5th grade love to read picture books. We want to get them hooked so after they devour all The Littlest Dumpling, they go for Lil King Yoongi, and whatever your next project is. It’s all a part of it, Yoongi. The worlds you’re creating.”
“That’s horrifying.”
“It’s deeply overwhelming, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“My request is that you send your draft to Seokjin. Just ask him if there’s anything worth keeping, or if he thinks you’re on the right track.”
“Seokjin wouldn’t know what track I was on if he was setting the pace.”
“You don’t know that. Besides, whatever happened between you is in the past.”
“Is it though?” Yoongi asks.
“I hope so, I asked him to stop by today.”
“What?” Yoongi is both blindsided and enraged.
“Yep, ah, Alexis will you bring a third glass and extra chair for Mr. Kim?”
“Certainly, and then I’ll bring him back,” Alexis has dyed her hair platinum blonde, gone are the pinks in favor of this striking look.
“Why?” Yoongi asks turning to face you. You feel kind of bad, misleading him like this.
“You aren’t going to email him unless you see him and talk to him. Yoongi, this is such an important relationship. You have to rebuild your trust with him.”
“I do not!”
“You do, and it’s crucial to your success here at Serendipity to work with your editor. Plus he’s emailed you twice a week for two months and you have sent him the same automated message, which is incredibly unprofessional.”
Yoongi’s about to protest when Alexis walks in with another chair, then another glass and finally, Seokjin Kim.
“Y/N! It’s been too long,” Jin says hugging you.
“It’s been two days,” You say smiling at him. “Jin, you know Yoongi.”
“Yoongi Min, Min Yoongi, my, my, my, good to see you,” Jin says. He extends his oversized hand and shakes Yoongi’s.
“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi responds.
“My mom is looking forward to dinner at your parents house this weekend,” Jin sits and pulls a notepad out of his bag and clicks his pen before glancing at Yoongi.
Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Do you make it a point of pride to know what your parents are doing every day?”
“I speak to them regularly, if that’s what you’re asking,” Jin replies.
“You’re a kiss ass.”
“Oh, have I already made you jealous with my healthy relationship with my parents?” Jin laughs.
“Fuck off.”
“Gentlemen!” You interject, silencing them. “Shut up, and listen.”
Yoongi, already seated, crosses and uncrosses his legs. Seokjin sits up
“I’m not privy to whatever anger and grade school pettiness you’re both still harboring. But, I need you two to work together. You both signed contracts, you both agreed. The fact that I’m getting complaints from HR already, is absolutely unacceptable,” Your voice was clear and commanding, striking both of them in their chairs.
“Sorry,” Jin mutters.
“I’m sorry - that’s so embarrassing,” Yoongi’s apology is felt deeper within you, his soft eyes torn with hatred and sorrow. He hadn’t meant to fuck up enough that you had to scold them, they’re not children. But here he was, pissing you off. Jane was going to be even more mad. She’d rant about him jeopardizing his career by acting like an asshole. All he really wanted to do was piss Seokjin off a little… not get complaints from HR.
“Yoongi’s just come back from a writing retreat and has pages for you to look over Seokjin,” You continue.
“Oh, so there are pages?” Jin glances sideways at Yoongi.
“Fuck. Off.”
“Yoongi,” You scold.
“Yeah, Yoongs. Be nicer.”
“The point is, Yoongi has pages, first draft pages that he is ready to share. Jin, are you ready to edit them?” Your glance makes it clear, it isn’t a question.
“Absolutely,” Jin says recovering his composure and professionalism. “I look forward to reading them.”
“How long will it take?” Yoongi asks, refusing to look at the face he’s had memorized since childhood.
“My initial notes? Or me to read them?” Jin chuckles.
“Both.”
“It’s Tuesday? Give me until Friday. Then you can let my comments ruin your weekend,” Jin teases.
“You’re the actual worst,” Yoongi mutters.
“I trust that your comments will be helpful and not in fact ruin Yoongi’s weekend.” You tell them both. “And if I have to referee another one of these conversations you both will owe me royalties under the table.”
“Fine,” Yoongi grumbles.
“That’s fair,” Seokjin says. “And with that, I am off to put in my last notes for another project. Yoongi, I look forward to reading your first draft. I’m sure there is greatness in there.”
Yoongi doesn’t say anything but stares ahead at the bookshelves. He notices a Morrison, a Rowling, a Steinbeck. Classics between old Judy Moody’s and the entirety of the Junie B Jones series. Numerous copies of The Chronicles of Narnia, but not one copy of book 7.
“Thanks, Jin,” You smile warmly at him and watch as he exits your office. “So, you gonna tell me what that was about?”
“I told you, I don’t trust him and I don’t like him.”
You sip your lemonade slowly, thinking through it. “Tell me, how did you two meet?”
“Seokjin and me?”
“No, you and Alexis.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes, an expression of his annoyance but one you’re beginning to find kind of cute and charming. Like his scowl, or the strained look his irises get when he’s pained.
“Our parents are friends, our moms got pregnant around the same time with us. We’re both the youngest of two sons, and our brothers played in similar sports leagues. We went to regular school together, and then Korean school on the weekends. We became best friends.”
“Can I guess what happened?” You ask.
“Sure.”
“He wanted to be popular and cool, which meant dropping you,” You guess.
“Something like that,” Yoongi agrees.
“I’m sorry Yoongi,” You tell him. “I know that doesn’t mean much, but I am.”
“Yeah, I wish he was.”
In your years working with Seokjin, him apologizing for being a pompous asshole had never happened because, frankly, you’d never seen him behave the way he just did. He was beloved by his coworkers, adored by his bosses. Seokjin radiated positivity and was the funniest guy in the office. He was a delight to work with, and the need to scold and reprimand him came from whatever Yoongi brought out in him. Clearly their mutual hatred, or the effect they have on each other goes both ways.
“If it makes you feel better, he might be the least liked person in the office.”
“Because he’s an asshole?” Yoongi asks hopefully.
“He’s charming, and has that face, and is kind to everyone. Not to mention his work.” You really wanted to lie for him. “I’m sorry, he’s really great.”
Yoongi sinks, crestfallen. “So he continues to be perfect while I exist to be a failure.”
“You’re not a failure.”
“You hardly know me, who’s to say I won’t disappoint you next?” Yoongi asks.
“Is that what you really think?” You wonder, eyes hardening as your chest tightens. He keeps leaving these little crumbs, crumbs of these hurtful beliefs and ideas he has about himself.
“I become insufferable when I write. Just ask Janie.”
”You call her Janie?”
“Yeah?”
Your smile grows. “That’s sweet.”
“I guess.”
“She’s a great agent, everyone I know who works with her loves her.” You say.
“She is. She’s always believed in me.”
“Good, now believe in yourself.”
“You say that like I have the key to enlightenment and self love within me. I do not, Y/N, possess such skills.”
“How would you know? You don’t seem to have tried.”
“That’s fair,” Yoongi agrees. “You know, Janie always tells me she’s kept me around for my unwavering disposition and penchant for snark and self doubt.”
“You make it sound like she likes you because you’re fragile.”
“Isn’t that a Sara Bareilles lyric?”
“It is! I didn’t even realize I did that. I must be off my game.”
“It’s okay, I’m sure we all quote lyrics without realizing where they’re from,” Yoongi says.
“The point is,” You say remembering where you were trying to steer the conversation. “Your self doubt has pushed your work to be better. Maybe you need to learn to trust yourself like you’re learning to trust Seokjin.”
“Did you just - call back while getting me to be introspective?” Yoongi’s surprise is disarming.
“Um, yes?”
“Wow, you’re good.”
“Thank you. That’s why they pay me so much,” You say.
“Is it?”
“And I’m really fucking good at the other aspects of my job.”
“Such as?”
“Making money, getting our authors and editors to work together successfully. Bringing in big gets and new projects that go the distance. Plus I have extremely high executive functioning skills.” You tell him.
“You’ve got it all.”
“And if you asked my aunts, it would be all those things that have prohibited me from having a significant other. But that’s an after work conversation,” You are quick to cover your error. You do not know Yoongi like that, not in the way you know Seokjin, or Jungkook and Jimin.
“Oh, I’ve got stories for days about my disappointing love life,” Yoongi offers. A little vulnerability, to be shared with you.
“I would love to hear about those. Maybe we’ll take one of these meetings at 5 o’clock.”
“That would be, fun?” Yoongi’s voice tilts upwards at the end of hi sentence.
“Say it like it’s not a root canal please.”
“That would be fun!” Yoongi allowed his hands to shoot in the air, shimmying a little.
“Okay, too much. How about our next meeting, next month?”
“You want to meet with me monthly?” Yoongi asks.
“I trust Jin to keep you in line.”
“It’s because he’s three months older than me, isn’t it?”
You tilt your head to the side, curiously. “Is he?”
“Yes, he is. Made me call him hyung all of Korean school.”
“Ah, a lovely honorific.”
“It’s three fucking months!”
“It’s a lot of time Yoongi! It’s an entire year shift.”
“So?”
“So, he’s your hyung and frankly, you are mine.” You tell him.
“No way!”
“You think I’m old?”
“No, aren’t we, are we not like the same age?”
“You are older than me by what, five months?”
“Wow, your hyung,” Yoongi says, wide eyed. “That’s super weird.”
“Why? Wanted to call me noona?” You laugh.
“Janie hates when I call her that.”
“So naturally you do it all the time?”
He nods. “Only when she’s particularly prickly, then I love to just turn the screw a little tighter.”
“Oh, so kind of you.”
“It really is, shows her how much I care,” His smile is broad and warm, so inviting. And cute.
“The restraint alone. She’s lucky to have you.”
“She is.”
A knock befalls the door, and Alexis’s platinum blonde head pokes through. “Your next meeting is here. And um, a certain someone has called and left you a message.”
Yoongi glances from Alexis to you, and watches in real time how quickly your face falls. He hates it, the sadness in your eyes.
“Great, we’re just wrapping up.”
“Okay, after Mr. Min leaves, I’ll give you five minutes before I bring them back.” Alexis doesn’t wait for a response but turns on her heels and leaves.
“I’ve been here far too long,” Yoongi stands and slips his jacket on.
“No, it was all good. We were productive.”
“Were we?”
“We were. Swear.”
“I’ll see you, next month?”
“Yeah, I’ll send you a calendar invite, and we’ll pick a bar?” You ask.
“Have you been to the Ruby Poppy?” Yoongi asks. It’s one of two bars he knows around here, the other is more of a dive and doesn’t seem to be your type of place. Though he doesn’t really know what your type of place is.
“I do, they have a great tequila and blackberry cocktail that’s always available during happy hour.”
“Sounds like we’ve picked a place,” Yoongi pauses at your door. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah, looking forward to it.”
Sitting down at his computer, Yoongi begins to type and transcribe his notes. He hand wrote everything in Big Sur, like he always did, in a new notebook he’d picked out specifically for this project. His notes, and the first draft, aren’t totally shit. He’s sure there’s a narrative in here, but where? He doesn’t know.
Maybe Jin will be the answer.
Subject: The Littlest Dumpling Draft 1 and Notes
From: Yoongi Min
Jin -
Here’s the first draft and my notes. I know there’s something here, but I can’t tell where. Or what. Or if it actually is there at all.
Thanks,
Yoongi
He sends it off and groans loudly as his phone rings.
“Hey,” Namjoon says.
“Hey,” Yoongi responds.
“Why are you so miserable?” He asks.
“I just sent my shitty first draft and notes to Seokjin to edit and review.”
“Oh fuck, you’re nervous?”
“Terrified.”
“I’m sure it’s fine - hey do you want to come over and have drinks with me and Hoseok?”
“Yeah, lots and lots of alcohol.”
“I don’t understand why you have to work with him,” Hoseok says, sipping his chardonnay and bouncing his foot up and down.
“He’s the best of the best, apparently. According to both Janie and Y/N, my publisher.”
“Janie?” Namjoon asks. “What about Jane?”
“Do you always have to ask after her?” Yoongi asks.
“It’s like he’s a dog, every time her name is said he reacts.”
“Pavlov, it was Pavlov’s dog,” Namjoon informs.
“Yes, a Pavlovian response. Every single time, Jane, where?” Hoseok acts out Namjoon’s dog like reaction and Yoongi laughs, because it’s true.
“You have a crush, just ask her out,” Yoongi instructs.
“I hear your new publisher is quite –
“Intelligent?” Hoseok offers.
“Charismatic?” Yoongi says.
“Beautiful,” Namjoon tells them. “At least that’s the rumor.”
“Why are you asking if you already know or have an opinion on it?” Yoongi wonders.
“Do you have a crush on her?” Hoseok asks.
“Thank you,” Namjoon says. “I didn’t want to come right out and ask, but fuck I want to know. Are you into her?”
“You heard Hoseok describe her, she’s pretty fucking cool. She’s lent me a few books to read too,” Yoongi answers. It isn’t the tea Namjoon was hoping for, but it is better.
“So, she’s flirting with you?” Hoseok asks. “Are you serious?”
“Oh my god, Yoongi! It’s all you’ve ever dreamed of!” Namjoon cheers.
“How so?” He asks Namjoon.
“She’s gorgeous, she’s intelligent, and she is into you.”
“Or, she’s gorgeous, she’s intelligent, and she wants me to feel at home at a new publishing house and is supporting me through the transition.”
“I think Namjoon’s right,” Hoseok says.
“Thank you!”
Yoongi rolls his eyes and tucks a stray hair behind his ear. His mini mullet is growing in swimmingly. “I can’t believe you two.”
“Yes, you can, Namjoon is thirsty as hell, and I’m well, sex negative,” Hoseok shrugs.
“Sex negative?” Namjoon asks.
Hoseok takes another swig of wine. “Yes, I’m not opposed to sex, but I’m not interested in talking about it or actively seeking it out.”
“Why not?”
“Yeah, tell me more. Am I sex negative?” Yoongi wonders.
“I can have sex whenever I want, but I’m not thinking about it constantly or looking at people wondering how good they are in bed, like Joon is with Jane.”
“I don’t want to fuck Jane!” Namjoon exclaims.
“Yes, you do,” Yoongi says. “You have for years and you’re too chicken shit to do anything about it.”
“I’m not chicken shit! I’m respectful of her.”
“Because she’s older?” Yoongi asks.
“She’s your manager Yoongi! She can break any of our careers.”
Hoseok is worried. “You think she’ll come for me?”
“Hoseok, she knows everyone and can ruin anyone she wants.”
“It’s why she’s so hot,” Namjoon adds.
“That’s why we think you want to fuck her,” Yoongi points out.
“I’m a data scientist, how could she ruin that?” Hoseok asks, still stuck on the idea that his career could be decimated by merely associating with Yoongi and Namjoon.
“Do you really want to know?”
“No, I don’t.”
“So you’re sex negative, but aren’t you seeing somebody?”
“I’m not asexual, or aromantic. I just don’t need to talk about it.” Hoseok reiterates.
“Which is fair, I might be sex negative too,” Yoongi says.
“I’m definitely sex positive,” Namjoon boasts.
“We know,” Hoseok and Yoongi say.
“Yoongi, what are you going to do about Y/N?” Namjoon asks.
“I don’t know, keep my head down. My bigger issue is dealing with Seokjin.”
“I don’t understand why he’s such an asshole.”
“That’s the thing!” Yoongi feels himself heating up. “He apparently is just an asshole to me, and according to Y/N, she’s never seen him behave like he did in our meeting before.”
“You bring out the worst in him.”
“He brings out the worst in me.”
“She only knows him as nice? Do you think there’s a possibility –
“Don’t,” Hoseok asks, eyes wide and pleading with Namjoon not to take Yoongi down the rabbit hole.
“Don’t what?” Yoongi sips his wine and glances between them. “Oh, just say it.”
“Do you think they dated?” Namjoon asks.
“Oh fuck off,” Yoongi says, slumping back across the couch. “Fuck. Off. No way! There’s no way!”
“I don’t know, if she’s only seen the nice side of him…. Maybe they’ve knocked boots,” Namjoon says.
“I hate you,” Yoongi tells him.
“I don’t think they’ve had sex,” Hoseok says. “I think they’re coworkers and Y/N happens to be a gracious and kind boss.”
“You say that like you know her,” Namjoon teases.
“I don’t, no idea what she looks like. But that’s what it sounds like. She’s doing the most to make Yoongi comfortable, but you’re putting her in a tough position. She has to be your boss, but you don’t have to be a monster.”
“I’m not a monster, just when Jin’s around.”
“Right, but he’s never not going to be around if you stay at that publishing house, he’s always going to be there. You’re going to be working with him, what can you do to not turn into a little shit whenever he’s around?” Hoseok asks.
Yoongi’s often wondered what he’d do if he was in this position, forced to work with Seokjin after all they’ve gone through. He’s never found a solution, or an answer to it. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do or how he’s supposed to act. Because years later, Seokjin has never apologized. He’s never fessed up to what he did, how he betrayed Yoongi, how he abandoned him for popularity and sex. Okay, Yoongi just assumes there was sex being had in high school. But he’s never said he was sorry and asked for forgiveness, he’s just existed without a second thought to how he behaved hurt Yoongi.
“I don’t know,” Yoongi says.
“Well,” Namjoon sighs. “You should figure it out.”
“Jane!” You say, standing from your table at DanBam Coffee & Roastery to hug the familiar face.
“Y/N!” Jane says in response. She takes the hug and sits across from you, pleasant smile on her lips.
“How are you?”
“Oh you know, people need extensions on their contracts, writers get writers block, some need to be sent away to figure their shit out…”
“Are you just talking about Mr. Min or?” You ask.
“Oh, no, not him. Besides sending him away on a retreat, that was necessary.”
“I didn’t know the whole Seokjin thing would push him that far.”
“He just… Yoongi still feels the effect of whatever happened between them, and he’s got to grow up and move on.”
“What if he can’t?”
“Let me worry about that,” Jane says. “How has it been, working with him?”
“He’s,” You pause, thinking about how to appropriately describe Yoongi. “Prickly, but also so very soft. An anemone in human form.”
“That’s a far nicer description of him than I’d offer,” Jane comments.
“Really? Why?”
“Yoongi is great, a basket case, but one of the best children’s authors around. He’s cynical and sharp, and don’t tell him, but he’s my favorite fucking client.”
“Is he really?”
“He is. He always has been. If only he’d believe it just a little bit.”
“He really doesn’t see how great he is, does he?”
“Absolutely not. Has no sense that he’s incredible.”
“How do we get him there?”
“If I knew the answer, I would’ve done it during his first edits. I’ve got to say,” Jane hesitates. “Putting him with Seokjin is the biggest clusterfuck he’s gone through.”
“Really? He’s only alluded to their past, but I don’t have a great sense of what happened.”
“It’s, pretty bad. Jin’s never apologized, never said anything close to sorry.”
“They’re childhood friends, right?”
“They are,”
“Interesting.”
“You like him,” Jane guesses.
“I do?”
“Yeah, you let him borrow your books.”
You laugh. “Is that how publishers show their affection? Did I miss it?”
“I don’t know if others do, but that’s how you show it. Didn’t you let Taehyung borrow books?”
“After his tongue had been in my mouth,” You answer.
“Okay, fair.”
“Taehyung is totally different, he and I were, not a mistake, but a weird detour that was damaging to both of our careers,” You say.
“You came out on top though, so did he.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean what we did was right.”
Jane nods and offers a counter point. “It was right for you at the time.”
“That’s true. But Yoongi is,” You begin.
“Different.”
“I’m not naive enough to start something with one of my author’s, at least not when they’re still working on a draft and are contractually obligated to submit work to me. I would never, again. I would never do it again,” You clarify.
The relationship between you and Taehyung had begun as a secret affair during the editing of his first book. It had been a mutual attraction, and a sworn secret you both vowed to keep. But, office romances are rarely kept hidden and you were discovered kissing at the work holiday party under the mistletoe, mistletoe that Taehyung had put up specifically to kiss you under. That had sparked the gossip, and soon everyone knew that you and Taehyung were an item. Which was unethical as you were his editor, but what made it worse was the very public relationship it ended between Taehyung and his other girlfriend, whom you didn’t know existed. That is, until it was splashed across Page Six, and it became clear you were the other woman. It sparked Taehyung’s next novel, which was about the psychological warfare of dating and loving two different women and trying to discern who would be the best mother to his future hypothetical children. It was a best seller and stayed at number 1 for ten weeks. You, having worked with him on his previous book, were given first editing rights of this book. Which you took, and thanks to it, was offered a position at Serendipity.
Jane was right, you had come out of an impossible situation totally on top… but at what cost? Your relationship, which you thought was leading you towards love, had crumbled, and your career nearly went with it. The snickers and back handed comments hadn’t fully stopped, either, which made certain public outings unbearable. You wanted it to be in the past, particularly as you were finding yourself staring into Yoongi’s eyes more and more frequently… but it also begs the question, does Yoongi know? Does he know about your past indiscretion, and if he does, does he care? He isn’t just another author, if he was you wouldn’t have fought so hard to have his newest project as a part of your publishing house.
“But you like Yoongi.” Jane says.
“He’s special and I can see it so clearly.”
“Good, I think you two would be so fucking cute together, and it would take the heat off of me.” Jane sips her tea and remains coy.
“Heat? What heat Is he putting on you?” You ask curiously.
“I’m seeing someone –
“Congrats.”
“Thanks? I’m seeing someone, but I won’t tell Yoongi who it is, and it’s driving him absolutely insane.”
“Why won’t you tell him?” You ask.
Jane tries to dismiss it. “Because it’ll just be messy, and the last thing I want is for my relationship with this new guy to deter my working relationship, and friendship with Yoongi.”
“Will it?”
“It might.”
“So, you’re keeping a secret that he knows exists, from him?” You question.
“Yes.”
“Huh, doesn’t that get tiring?”
“It does, particularly when he’s so fucking persistent about knowing.”
“But you won’t tell him?”
“Not yet,” Jane answers.
“Hasn’t he known about your other relationships?”
“Do you mean the one with women and non-binary people? Of course, he’s met several of them. But this is different and that’s why I won’t tell him.”
“Either you’re in love or it’s someone he’ll be shocked to know you’re with,” You decide, deciphering her vague language.
“Correct.”
“Are you dating Seokjin?” You ask, eyebrows raising. “That would put him over the edge.”
“No, no, I’m not dating Seokjin. Could you imagine? I’d devour him whole.”
“I’d love to see you try,” You laugh. “He could use a strong woman in his romantic life.”
“I do fear that Yoongi will wonder, based on your interactions, if you and Seokjin have dated.”
“If Jin and me? Oh, absolutely not. He’s an editor and also, if dating Taehyung was bad, dating Jin would be worse.”
“Where would Yoongi fall?”
“Oh, that could be career ruining if it’s not handled properly. Decimating, and there would be no positive spin or way out of it like with Taehyung.” You answer.
“So, what will you do?”
“Keep my distance, for as long as I can.”
“What if you can’t?”
You laugh. “Jane, the question isn’t what will happen if I can’t keep it to myself. The question is, what if I can?”
Warnings: Swearing! Talking About Sex! Kissing! Making Out!
Word Count: 3.8K
Summary: Oo baby gotta love a short ending.
Master List
Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead, @canarystwin
Tag List
“I’m sorry,” Lil King Yoongi said, holding Hee-Young’s hand.
“For what?”
“Friends don’t treat each other the way I treated you. I’m sorry.”
“Are you the King right now, or Yoongi?” She asked.
“Yoongi.”
“Well, Yoongi. I accept your apology.”
“Do you forgive me?” Yoongi asked.
“Yes, I do. Do you forgive me?”
“Yes I forgive you.” He answered. “You are the greatest witch in my kingdom.”
“That is true, but I fall second to your power.”
“I am royal, my powers are stronger, but take longer to harness.”
She turned to him, staring into his eyes. “Will you teach me?”
“Teach you?”
“To fight like you.” Hee-Young said.
“You don’t want to fight like me,” Lil King Yoongi warned, dropping her hand and stepping away.
“Why not?” She wondered. What could be more important than learning to fight like he did? He was the greatest wizard and sorcerer in the Kingdom, in all the land. He was the king for a reason.
Yoongi turned to leave but paused at the door out of Hee-Young’s little shack. “The power will destroy you.”
Lil King Yoongi Vol. 4
February
“Have you heard from him?” Seokjin asks, sitting across from you at The Ruby Poppy. Gone is sitting in your booth, snuggled into Yoongi. For now, and you guess maybe the foreseeable future. You haven’t sat in that booth, cozied up to him … in months. Tonight, it’s staring at you, empty, wanting and wondering when its rightful owners, its lovers, will be returning. Maybe it isn’t wondering anymore, enough time has passed. Maybe now it just knows that you won’t be coming back to it for a while longer. Your booth, your old booth, could be a new couples place to sit and get cozy over winter cocktails and hushed voices. It could be a place for someone else to fall in love.
“Since yesterday?” You ask Jin. “Yes.”
“How is he?” He asks.
“He’s, better.”
“But not whole.”
“I don’t know what whole looks like for Yoongi, and I’m not sure he does either.”
“Was it a mistake?” Jin asks.
“No,” You shake your head. “Going back to Korea was the right choice, spending some time with his extended family, immersing himself in the language again.... it’s what he needed and wanted.”
“The pages he’s sending me are really good, better than I was expecting. Book two might be stronger than book one.”
“Please don’t tell him that,” You request.
Jin stares at you with an obvious expression. “I wouldn’t dare. When is he coming home?”
“Valentine’s Day. At least that’s what he’s planning. If he changes his mind, I don’t really know what I’ll do.”
“You know you can talk to me, about not work things,” Jin says.
“Isn’t that why we’re here? To discuss how my relationship feels like it’s in the toilet because my boyfriend had a slight breakdown over my ex showing up and took himself to Korea for a writing retreat that’s going to have last nearly two months?” You lament.
“I – yes?”
“That I feel like it’s my fault and that I can’t edit Taehyung’s book, which is so good and it’s only the first three chapters. That I’m the one that broke us, because I didn’t see he was barely holding on?”
“It isn’t your fault.”
“No, but this is the second time he’s tried to come back, and the first wasn’t successful so… maybe it is.” You comment, knowing full well it isn’t that Yoongi doesn’t want to be with you, it isn’t about you at all.
“You didn’t cause this,” Jin reminds you. “His brain chemistry did. Yoongi was already falling apart before he saw Taehyung in your office and knew he wanted you to edit his book.”
“Perhaps…”
“Not perhaps, it’s the truth. You know it is.”
“He hasn’t come back though, what if he doesn’t know how to break up with me?”
“You really think Yoongi wouldn’t know how to break up with you?”
“I’d hope he wouldn’t.”
“He doesn’t want to break up, he cares about you.”
You shrug, dismissing the conversation. “I still I don’t know what to do about Tae.”
“You should probably stop calling him Tae, first of all,” Jin comments.
“Fuck off.”
“Tell Taehyung that I’ll edit his book,” Jin says, stilling with his glass in his hands, carefully watching your reaction.
“What?” You ask.
“I’ll edit Taehyung’s book.”
“Why?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and it’s a good career move for me. And, if you’re honest with yourself, do you really want Taehyung’s ego to come between you and Yoongi?” Jin says.
“No, I don’t. But you don’t know him.” You counter.
“No, but I’ve read Two Affairs. I’m sure he and I will get along fine enough, at least better than Yoongi and me.”
“You can’t let him turn it into women becoming gay because men wronged them, you just can’t,” You warn.
“I wouldn’t dare. Is that what it’s about?” He leans forward, curiosity ignited.
“Let me send you the pages, you can do an edit and I’ll present it to him before introducing you both.”
“Has he signed with us yet?” Seokjin asks.
“Yes, he signed the day he sent me his pages.”
“Let me take this off your plate, Y/N,” Jin says.
“Thank you.”
“As for Yoongi,” Jin pauses, thinking back to what his mother had said on the phone the other day. “He’s coming home.”
“Supposedly.”
“You can’t blame him for that.”
“I don’t, I just wish… there’s a lot of things that I wish we’d done differently in the last six weeks. I don’t know if we can fix it.”
“Do you want to?” He asks.
You’ve been asking yourself the exact same question, to the same answer every single time. “I do.”
“Then you can. Or at least, you can try.”
Yoongi arrives at your doorstep on Valentine’s Day. He’d lied and had actually arrived on February 12th, then spent the 13th and today rewiring his body to be on standard time. It hasn’t really worked, but he’s less jetlagged today than when he first set foot in the states and that is a relief. He’s got a basket with him, full of foods you love, drinks, and a few trinkets he picked up in Seoul every time he thought of you. Which was a lot. Probably too much.
He can’t lie though, he’s shitting bricks. So nervous and unsure about what is left of your relationship, where you stand and if he can fight to win you back. That’s what he wants, you. If you want him…. Shit if you want him, he’ll be the happiest man alive, but if you’re done, he will respect it, and be totally crushed.
Yoongi knocks at your door and waits patiently as he hears your feet shuffle towards him. You open it cautiously, staring at him. It’s been six weeks since you laid eyes on your boyfriend, if that word even applies. He looks… he looks good. Hair growing out into waves of onyx, his cheeks a little fuller from his family’s cooking. He looks healthier than when he left, under the cover of night to Daegu. He’d bundled in his winter best, and drug his very large and somehow very empty suitcase past his front door and into the cab, not really saying goodbye to you or Hoseok or Namjoon. He’d just… gone. Taking a cab instead of bothering anyone, and somehow slept almost the entire flight.
“Hi,” Yoongi says.
“Hi,” You answer.
“I uh, can I hug you?” he asks.
You step aside and let him in, and once he’s taken his shoes off and hung up his coat, he turns to you. The tears you hadn’t expected to shed start pouring down your face as he pulls you into a tight embrace. He hadn’t realized – he didn’t think you would cry. Though what did he expect? You cried when he told you he was going to Korea for an extended period of time, leaving to focus on him and his health. It was the right move, no doubt about it, and Seokjin is correct, The Littlest Dumpling Book 2 will be stronger than Book 1, but that doesn’t negate how much you’ve missed him. Missed cuddling into him, missed the smell of his hair, missed the sound of his voice when he just wakes up, the gravel low as he asks why you’re staring at him for the millionth time. You’ve missed being with him, in any way, shape or form. Him leaving had put a strain on your relationship, but it hadn’t seemed insurmountable until he decided he was coming home and well, didn’t.
Yoongi was at the airport when he had a major panic attack. While feeling like he was having a heart attack, he left Incheon and went back to his aunt’s house. What was worse? Yoongi not telling you he wasn’t coming, not for two days, why he didn’t get on the plane? Or you driving to the airport, all ready to welcome your boyfriend home… to nothing. Or the fear and stress that he had gone missing or died and no one had a way to tell you? They all sucked, but what hurt most was that he couldn’t, he didn’t, he was so debilitated that he couldn’t text you… that’s what hurt. How in pain he was, and how little you could do to help.
It wasn’t and hasn’t been that you don’t understand the pain and inconvenience of mental illness. God knows the number of meetings and outings you’ve cancelled due to anxiety or those deep depressive episodes that have you feeling like you’re walking through a bowl of cement. But yours doesn’t manifest the way Yoongi’s does, and while you can reach out when you’re hurting, Yoongi hasn’t quite gotten to that point in his toolbox. You two spent hours on the phone, and video calls, just breathing together, staring at each other through the screen, nothing to say, nothing to do but find some sort of intimacy together, apart. But asking for help… hasn’t that always been Yoongi’s weakest character trait?
“I’m sorry,” You comment, pulling away from him and wiping your eyes on the hem of your shirt.
“For?” He asks, voice cracking.
“Crying.”
“Don’t apologize for crying, it’s therapeutic.”
“I knew I missed you, but I didn’t realize how much until I saw you… and you’re real, and you’re here,” You comment, wiping the excess snot your t-shirt had missed.
“Yeah, I made it back,” he shrugs, hands still resting on your hips.
“I wasn’t sure you would.”
“I know. I was, though.”
“I really missed you,” you say again, not fishing for him to say it back, but letting him know the deep, abject hurting you’ve been experiencing.
“I really fucking missed you. I wanted to ask you to come to Daegu, but I didn’t, I didn’t know how.” Yoongi shares.
“I would’ve Yoongi,” you answer.
“I know, knowing you would jump on a plane for me… it was overwhelming.”
You nod. “In a good way?”
“In a, she would travel the world for me just to lay in bed and walk around a city she doesn’t speak the language or has never been to before… my god she cares about me, so much, kind of way,” he explains.
“Does that scare you?” You ask.
“A little,” he says. “I would, if you, you know, had a breakdown and went home for two months, I’d come sit in bed with you. No questions asked.”
“Is that what you discovered?”
“Yes, that I think I’m ready and I want that kind of caring in my life, all the time, every day, from you,” Yoongi says.
“You still want to be my boyfriend?” You ask.
“Did you think I didn’t?” Yoongi’s eyes are sad, but he knows why you’re asking. “I know I’ve been … absent.”
“Yoongi, I’ve barely spoken to you in the last three weeks. I know part of that is how upset I was, but still.” You remind him.
“I’ve been a shitty boyfriend.” He says.
“I’ve been a shitty girlfriend.” You reply.
“How do we make this, work again?”
Your hand moves to caress his cheek. “I don’t know. Can we have dinner and keep talking?”
Yoongi cracks a smile. “You’re starving aren’t you.”
“So, fucking hungry.”
“You know, I know he’s never going to say it, but part of my breakdown was, and is, the fact that The Littlest Dumpling book two is better than book one, and book three is… so much better than either of them.” Yoongi says after finishing his drink, a generous pour of the whiskey he brought.
“I don’t know if that’s true, Yoongi. They all can be good in their own ways.” You say diplomatically.
“Yes, but you haven’t read the latest edit of book two.”
“I like that in each book the rhyme scheme becomes a bit more convoluted and complicated,” you tell him.
“Do you think it makes sense? Or sounds okay when read aloud?” He asks.
“I think so, they bounce more in each book.”
“That’s what I was going for.”
“It’s definitely working,” You compliment.
“Hey – what happened with Taehyung’s book?” He asks, treading lightly into the topic that sent him over the edge. He knows if he doesn’t ask, it’s going to eat away at him, and as the one true hurdle in your relationship, he’d much rather ask and get it out of the way than wait and wait while it festers inside of him.
“Seokjin is editing it.”
“Two people I dislike, working together? Are they waiting for the other two horses of the apocalypse, or?” Yoongi asks.
“You’re an ass,” You tease. “I think they will work well together. They’re in the new, smaller section of Serendipity that deals with adult novels, so I don’t really know. I don’t have jurisdiction over them.”
He sighs, relief he wasn’t expecting to feel cascading over him.
“That makes me, so, happy?”
You stare at him, expression clear and precise. “I wasn’t going to let Taehyung come between us, Yoongi.”
“I know you weren’t, but I was,” he admits.
“He doesn’t mean –
“You don’t have to do that,” Yoongi interrupts.
“Do what?”
“Make me feel better. Say he doesn’t mean anything to you, that it’s just work… He did mean something to you, and it’s unfair of me to minimize that because I’m jealous and insecure,” He explains. He’s done a lot of thinking, a lot of confronting the interactions he had with you before he left, and even after.
“Insecure about what, Yoongi?” You scoot closer to him, hand reaching for his.
“That you loved him first, and he’s, fucking Taehyung Kim.”
“Yoongi, honey, he destroyed whatever love or affection I had for him. He does mean something, but it was more a lesson in growth and protecting myself. If he hadn’t, if he hadn’t broken my heart, I wouldn’t be able to be with you.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“No, I wouldn’t know that what we have, what I feel for you, is so much, better, than what I had with him.”
“Is it?” He asks, disbelieving.
“Yes, you goof. Not just because I know you’re only dating me, but because you and I are more, equal. If that makes sense.”
“There’s more of a natural give and take with us,” Yoongi guesses.
“Yes.”
Yoongi smiles. “I think that’s because you hold more power than I do.”
“I think it’s because you respect me, as a person, in my career… you respect my wants and needs.” You say.
When you look back at your relationship with Taehyung, that’s really what it comes down to: respect. He didn’t respect your relationship, or the honesty you kept with him. He didn’t respect the care you gave to your romance, or how you always supported him. He didn’t respect your job, or your work… Or maybe, in his mind, he did. But how he showed it, and how it made you feel, were incongruous. It was about a misalignment of values, or shared and mutual respect, of boundaries. Taehyung, for all his charm and beauty and stunning prose, was a bit of an asshole.
On the contrary, Yoongi, by virtue of being Yoongi, is only similar to Taehyung in the facts that he too is a beautiful author, and he has at one point in time, been somewhat in love with you. Maybe it was how you two met, in your office to discuss signing him to Serendipity Publishing, or maybe it was because you had come out of your relationship with Taehyung hell bent on finding success… It didn’t matter, because Yoongi isn’t Taehyung, and thus he hasn’t mistreated you or disrespected you in the ways you have been before.
“And what are your wants and needs?” He smirks, hoping how close you’re sitting is an indication that maybe your body wants and needs his.
“Yoongi,” You scold.
“What?”
“You think we’re going to have this emotional evening and conversation and then have –
“Make love, say it correctly,” He teases.
“We’ve never once called it that, Yoongi.” You say.
“I know, but I think we should.” He says earnestly.
You stare at him, fully smitten before leaning in and placing your lips on his.
Seokjin paces back and forth, waiting patiently for Violette to come out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go to dinner. Except in his pacing, he’s rubbing the velvet of the ring box painfully hard, causing the box itself to indent as velvet crumbles beneath his sweaty thumb.
He’s so busy in his current state that he misses Violette coming out of the bathroom, eyes falling on him with a worried stare. That is, until she sees the ring box.
“Seokjin Kim, what the fuck is in your hands?” She asks.
He snaps out of his trance, and stares at her. Her multicolored dress compliments her recently dyed red and copper hair, bringing out the natural highlights in her face.
“You look beautiful,” He mutters, staring at her with a slack jaw.
“I know. But what is in your hands?” She asks again.
“I – fuck.”
“No, tell me,” Violette demands.
“I was debating doing this after dinner, or right now, in our home… but I couldn’t decide, and then you came out and I wasn’t paying attention…. So now we’re here.”
“You were going to do what?” She’s becoming annoyed that he won’t just answer her damn question.
“Propose.”
“Propose?” She repeats, her stomach dropping.
“Yes, I was going to propose to you, Violette, and ask you to marry me,” Seokjin explains with painstaking condescension.
“You’re an ass, I know what a proposal is.”
“Then why’d you ask?”
“Why aren’t you?”
“Proposing?”
“Yes.”
“I – do you want me to?”
“Yes.”
Jin rolls his eyes, of course this is the level of obstipation he’d have to endure to propose to his love. He kneels and opens the ring box, showing a gorgeous diamond and jade ring that Violette’s mom helped him pick.
“Violette, I love you. Will you marry me?”
“That’s all you’re going to say?” She snaps, eyes wide in horror.
“What could I say? You’ll tease me mercilessly until the day I die if I say anything more romantic than I love you. This isn’t our first trip around the sun, Violette. I know how you are. You’ll hate me forever if I say something mushy.”
“I’ll hate you into eternity if you don’t.”
“Violette, you are the most difficult, stubborn, challenging woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.”
“Y/N included.”
“Yes, goes without saying. I love you, no matter how frustrated you make me, or how soft and warm your heart is, you never stop amazing me. I want nothing more than to marry you, and to continue building this life we have together. So, Violette, my love, my darling, will you marry me?”
3 Months Later
Clothes are strewn across Yoongi’s apartment, not wanting to wait to get his hands on you after the launch party of The Littlest Dumpling. You’d outdone yourself, a really beautiful celebration of this new chapter in Yoongi’s career. Catered by his favorite Korean place, mandu was overflowing and paired nicely with other traditional Korean foods broken down into bite sized morsels. He did a reading of the whole book, which had at first felt stupid in a room full of adults, but after a whiskey it wasn’t so crazy that he was reading his book for his friends.
All of it led you back here, to Yoongi’s house, with him beneath you as you celebrated his genius, and he the fact that he hasn’t spent more than his allotted 8 hours in bed at one time.
Yoongi, with his lips still tingling from being pressed to yours, pulls way from your skin. His always placid eyes stare into yours, which often don’t mirror his tranquility. For two highly anxious people, it’s a wonder your gaze ever stills enough to lock with Yoongi’s.
“What?” You ask.
“I’m thinking,” He answers.
“About?”
“What you taste like,” he says.
You blush ferociously, had you eaten something weird? Forgotten to brush your teeth? Could gum lose its potency?
“What do I taste like? Regret and Chanel No. 5?” You laugh.
“Of course not,” he shakes his head, leaning into your fingers that still linger on his cheek.
“Then what?”
“It’s not honey but it’s sweet.” Yoongi knows he is failing to describe you to you, but he doesn’t know what else to say. Burrowing his head in the crook of your neck, he suddenly feels embarrassment as he kissed your skin.
“Yoongi,” you mutter, both to get his attention and to signal the tingling sensations that have begun to creep out from the places his lips are landing.
“What?” He asks, blushing cheeks and uncertain gaze finding yours once more.
“What do I taste like?” You ask again.
“I think it’s love. You taste like love,” he says, the usual droll of his voice full of timbre and gravitas.
“Do you love me?” You question, unsure if tasting like love means being in love, or loving you at all. At this point, after all this time, doesn’t it?
“I do,” he says. “Do you love me?”
When the question is repeated back to you, it sounds so odd, so silly and peculiar. What a dumb thing you had asked, because of course you love him. Haven’t you been loving him this entire time?
“I do,” you answer, pulling his hyper pigmented lips to yours once more.
Warnings: Swearing! Talking About Sex! Kissing! Making Out!
Word Count: 4.7k
Summary: A meeting with HR decides the fate of your relationship and an unexpected visitor sends Yoongi into a panic spiral.
Master List
Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead, @canarystwin
Tag List
Lil King Yoongi seethed, smoke coming out of his ears as he stared at Hee-Young.
“You betrayed me!”
“I did not!” She yelled.
“You went against my orders!”
“Your orders were going to destroy the kingdom! There didn’t need to be such -
“How dare you speak to your King that way!” Yoongi shouted.
“My king? Your highness I thought you were a friend,” Hee-Young said, tears in her eyes.
“I’m not friends with traitors.”
Lil King Yoongi Vol. 4
December
“So that you’re telling me is that you hate Christmas?” Seokjin asks Yoongi over mulled wine and hot toddies at Moonbeam, a new restaurant near the office.
It’s atmosphere is more upscale than The Ruby Poppy, with intricate vines and greenery shrouding tables from each other, wrought iron work throughout the restaurant with small black and white hexagon tiled floors. The dull candle centerpieces illuminating the marble tabletop, the light from the fading sun gleaming through the glass ceiling, rays bouncing and bounding off the golden support beams. This season, winter, it’s decorated for the holidays with twinkling lights doubled in the greenery and holiday themed beverages being served by Colin, the bartender extraordinaire.
“I don’t hate Christmas,” Yoongi corrects.
“He hates the capitalization of Christmas,” You answer for Yoongi.
“Exactly.”
“Isn’t that your problem with all holidays?” Jin asks.
“The capitalization and commodification? Of course.”
“Wouldn’t Lil King Yoongi look so cute in a Santa hat? Instead of his beloved crown?” You suggest.
“Bite your tongue, he would not,” Yoongi argues.
“He would, if Jimin drew him,” Jungkook says sitting down. Jimin joins him, and they wait patiently for the waiter to return to add their drinks to the long list this group is having.
“Jin, isn’t your girl coming too?” Jimin asks. “And I do think the Lil King would look darling in a Santa hat, probably a red suit too if we could get the author to agree.”
“She’s on her way,” Jin answers.
“I will not write a Christmas book!” Yoongi declares. “Why is no one listening?”
“We are honey,” you say, placing a hand on his thigh.
“Honey?” Jimin teases.”
“Honey?” Jin laughs.
“Fuck you both.”
“I believe for one of us, that was once true,” Jin teases.
“I refuse to work with him on any other project, I never want to work with him again,” Yoongi tells you.
“I know; it’s already written down that post The Littlest Dumpling, you will never have to work with Seokjin again should you stay at Serendipity.”
“Great.”
“Do you do that for other authors?” Jimin asks you.
“Yes, but no one’s ever asked as persistently as Yoongi. And to keep Yoongi’s books, we’ll make the agreement.” You tell them.
“Not because he’s your man?” Jungkook asks.
“No, not because of that at all,” You say.
“It’s because my charm is so great he can’t fathom standing in its shadow for long periods of time,” Seokjin says.
“It’s often beneficial for authors to work with different editors on different projects to create a new vibe or really build a totally new world. The separation helps some authors create new authentic existences. For some it doesn’t, and they like working with the same person over and over again,” you explain to them.
“Makes sense,” Jungkook agrees. “Yoongi what happened to your old editor?”
“He left the company and moved to Manhattan.”
“So you were searching for a new editor, and got Seokjin?” Jungkook asks.
“Unfortunately,” Yoongi says.
“Please, you’re looking at a best seller. Don’t hate me because I’m good at my job,” Jin teases, then stands as Violette enters the restaurant and heads for them.
Yoongi turns to you, concern in his eyes.
“Did you set the meeting with HR?” He whispers to you.
“Yes, for tomorrow at 9AM. I sent you a calendar invite.”
“Oh, I saw it, but forgot,” He says apologetically.
“That’s okay, just show up,” You lean in and kiss his cheek.
“Has everyone met Violette?” Jin asks, standing next to his girlfriend.
“I think so,” She says.
“Great!”
“Violette,” You start, turning to the only other female in your group. “Tell us, what do you do?”
“And why are you in love with him?” Yoongi adds, genuine curiosity coming through instead of his impossibly stubborn and asshole demeanor.
“Why are you in love with Y/N?” She asks instead, cocking her head to the side. She enjoys watching Yoongi squirm.
“I – uh,”
“I loved Yoongi too,” Jimin interrupts. “What’s not to love?”
“I can think of about a dozen things,” Jin laughs.
“No one asked you,” Yoongi says.
“The point is, it’s nice to meet you Violette, and I apologize for the buffoonery of these men, well not Jungkook. He’s a gentleman,” You say, course correcting the conversation.
“Thanks, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard only good things.”
“That’s because Y/N is the best,” Jimin says with a wink.
“I try,” you answer.
“Well whatever you’re doing is working. I wish I had a strong female boss to shadow or look up to,” Violette comments.
“Oh?”
“I work for a gallery and my boss is a bit flighty but also very…. White man.”
“Ah,” You say, fully knowing what she means. Everyone at the table knows exactly what she means.
“Do you like the gallery?” Jungkook asks. “There are so many art galleries, you could go somewhere else?”
“I want to, but you know it’s scary, starting somewhere new. Doing something different from what you’ve been breathing for the last few years.”
Yoongi understands that fear. “Luckily, you have someone you can rely on if it doesn’t go well.”
“Are you saying something nice about me?” Seokjin asks.
“Yeah,” Yoongi says, not adding any additional snark or commentary.
Jin nods, maybe their relationship can be repaired.
The head of HR for Serendipity Publishing is named Olivia, and she’s well… difficult. It’s well known that HR represents the best interest of the business but should have some form of a poker face when dealing with company workers. Olivia does not. She works in fear and intimidation, making it almost impossible to come to her with any quandaries about the company. In a way, she does her job very well, she protects the company and its assets. The other way, or other side of the coin, she doesn’t leave room for the company to grow because she is so tough. Which is why most people report their complaints to their higher ups, so that the small group of leaders can handle Olivia and not the other workers.
Today she stares at you, hardened brown eyes watching as you shift in your chair. You’ve squared off against her before, she knows you’re equally as tough as she is, and that you hide it with a kind smile. But today you might be in the wrong, and that gives Olivia the upper hand.
“So, what did you want to talk about today?” Olivia asks.
“I am dating someone within the company, and I would like it to be on record that we are together,” You say.
“Is it someone that works below you?”
“Tangentially to me, more like.”
“An author?” She guesses.
“Yes.”
“I see,” Olivia begins typing on her computer, filling out paperwork that will need to be printed and kept both in a physical file and digital.
“We began seeing each other a number of months ago, and while I did preliminary research into the companies’ policies, it seems that the best way to handle this is to talk to you openly and figure out what to do or if this relationship cannot move forward.”
“Authors are tricky because they are tangentially related to what you do, you don’t supervise authors, you supervise their editors and the artistic department. If you were dating an editor, it would pose a larger problem.”
“Yes.”
She sets her jaw in discontent. “How long is this author’s contract, and what is their name?”
“Yoongi Min,” you say.
“Ah, my 10AM meeting. You two must’ve had fun colluding on that.”
“It made the most sense, I meet with you, then you meet with him,” you answer. It had been planned, what could the two of you do to make this go smoother? To not ruffle any of Olivia’s feathers? Certainly back to back meetings would make her life easier, and you were right.
“Yes, it will make this much easier,” Olivia won’t come out and say thank you, but this is pretty close.
“So, what do I need to do, to make this legitimate in company eyes?” You ask.
“Answer a series of questions that may seem deeply personal but are the company’s way to gage that nothing illicit happened on company property or non-consensually.” She answers, a glint of impending torture in her voice. She wants to make this difficult, to make you suffer, to ask invasive question after invasive question so that she can crush your dream of falling in love with Yoongi.
“Okay,” You say, adjusting in your chair.
“Where did you and Mr. Min meet?” Olivia asks.
“In my office. He came in to discuss his next book idea, and I wanted him to sign with us.”
“Did you have romantic feelings for him, then?” She questions.
“No.”
“When did romantic feelings, a crush, begin?”
You don’t have to think about it, having written down an outline of your relationship with Yoongi last night. “When he came back from his writing retreat, and we started talking more.”
“Texting?”
“At that point, no. Strictly when he came into my office to discuss his book.” You inform her.
“At what point did you begin texting?”
“July,” You answer definitively.
“Were the nature of your texts flirtatious?” Olivia asks.
“We agreed to meet for working happy hour.”
“Working happy hour?” Her brow raises, certainly people didn’t drink and talk about work? Maybe her friends, if she has any, didn’t.
“Yes, I had to discuss his relationship with Mr. Kim and drinks seemed like a better place to tell him to fall in line than the office,” you answer.
“Why did it seem like a better place?” She inquires, fingers momentarily stilling above her keyboard.
“It was going to be a tough conversation, and from my experience working with Yoon- Mr. Min, it seemed like a more relaxed environment would be more beneficial than scolding him in my office.”
“So he was in trouble?” Olivia smirks.
“He was being difficult.”
She stops typing momentarily. “Is he still?”
“He’s gotten better under the promise that if he stays with Serendipity after his three book deal, he does not have to work with Mr. Kim again.”
“Is that a fair deal?”
“Yes.”
“Is that common?”
“Are you asking if I give him preferential treatment because we’re dating?” You ask, searching for your own clarity in her murky question.
“Yes.”
“No, it is not preferential. I have a few other authors and editors that work under similar guidelines. Sometimes, for whatever reason, an editor and an author don’t work out. We want them to have a strong working relationship, so we make exceptions and pair people up in different ways.”
“And Mr. Kim and Mr. Min do not?” Olivia asks again.
“They have preexisting history that precludes them from being friendly let alone friends. Getting Mr. Min to see Mr. Kim’s work as valid is a daily struggle.”
“Did you put them together because you knew it would be difficult?” She inquires.
“I had no idea they knew each other prior to Mr. Min telling me he didn’t want to work with Mr. Kim.”
“Yet you forced them to,” she says.
“Mr. Kim is our most successful editor of children’s books. I want Mr. Min’s project to be a best seller, one for the record books. For that to happen, he needs the best editor in the company. That is Mr. Kim,” You explain to her, then reach towards the floor for the water bottle you had smartly brought with you.
“When the two of you went for drinks, did you kiss, hold hands or sleep together on that date?”
“Wow, way to go from first to fourth base without warning a girl!” You laugh.
“Answer the question please,” Olivia doesn’t show any signs of finding your joke funny.
“No, there might’ve been light flirting, but no physical contact that was sexual or could be interpreted as such. We sat on opposite sides of the booth; we didn’t kiss goodbye.” You answer.
“When did your relationship become sexual?” She asks, reading off her computer screen.
You blush. “In August we went out again, and his hand rested on my thigh.”
“Did it move past that?”
“No, there was a hug goodbye but that was it.”
“Again, when did things become explicitly sexual?” She presses on.
“What is the point of that question? In all this time, he had already signed with us. I told him dating would be risky, for myself and him. I told him of my past, of my fears.”
“Yet you kept seeing each other.”
“I think they call it falling in love,” You mutter.
“Have you or Mr. Min had any physical contact on work property that would be deemed sexual in nature?”
“No. The most we’ve done is shake hands.”
Olivia keeps typing, then begins scrolling through your answers. Frankly you thought there’d be more. More questions, more details she wanted to pull from you. It seemed it was heading that way, how many questions could she ask about your sex life before it breached not only the level of decorum her job required, but became gauche? She could ask about your first kiss, or if you ever discussed your relationship on company property. You had, twice that you can remember, but that’s been it. Strictly above board. It’s not like Yoongi comes into the office all that much anymore, now that he’s settled into working with Seokjin and The Littlest Dumpling book 1 has been submitted. He’s been focused on book 2, and working diligently to not fall into his depression hole, which frankly, he’s struggling with. There’s no time or opportunity to engage in any behavior that isn’t above board at work.
“It seems to me that you two, have not broken any rules of Serendipity Publishing.” Olivia says, breaking her silence.
“Really?” You ask.
“It’s shady that you waited this long to talk to me, but not illegal or against company policy. As you are not his direct superior, you are not, from what I can tell, using your power to coerce him into this relationship. If anything, he pursued you. I will give an official report once I speak with Mr. Min.”
You sit back, surprised. Surprised it was that easy, that she didn’t ask any more about your physical relationship or when it started, that she didn’t drill into you about the power dynamic in your relationship. What had happened to the Olivia that tore people apart just to watch their careers crumble? Hadn’t she looked down upon you after your relationship with Taehyung became public, called you a cheap trick after you edited his book? Wasn’t she one the main people vying for you to not get the job here?
What softened her?
Taehyung Kim sits in the lobby of Serendipity Publishing, smirking devilishly at Alexis as he taps his foot softly on the area rug. He’s been waiting to see you for ten minutes, though to be fair, he isn’t on your calendar. No, Taehyung showed up ten minutes ago, and through his charm willed Alexis to see if you could spare some time to chat with him. She’d found a little time, if you came back from HR early.
“How long have you worked for Y/N?” He asks. As the only person in the waiting room, he’s allowing himself to speak at near full volume. He pitches his voice lower, so Alexis really has to lean forward, over the desk, to catch everything he’s saying.
“Um, almost a year,” she says nervously giggling.
“Do you like it?”
Alexis, for what it’s worth, has every idea who this man is. How could she not? She did her due diligence and googled her boss the minute she got the job, and what she found was scathing and polarizing. Either person viewed what happened between Y/N and Taehyung as her fault, blaming her for ruining a relationship that seemed far more established than the one she was creating. Or, the opposite side, condemned Taehyung for his behavior but was skeptical that Y/N really deserved her promotions. Neither side seemed to like Y/N very much, which is exactly the opposite of Serendipity Publishing, where every person can’t stop singing your praises.
“I love it,” Alexis says and glances to the elevator as it dings and you step off, a satisfied smile on your face.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, stopping at Alexis’s desk and squaring your shoulders to Taehyung, effectively blocking her behind you.
“I wanted to talk to you, and hello.”
“Hi. I don’t have time to talk today, can you schedule an appointment and come back?”
“I could, but I wanted to present an idea to you first before I meet with my agent and talk to him about it,” Taehyung says, smug smile on his lips. He knows that’s the magic phrase to get you to talk to him, bringing his agent into the mix.
“Fine, come on,” You say and guide him back through the hallway and to your office. He sits readily on the open chair and starts talking.
“I have an idea for a new book,” Taehyung says. “It centers on the fall out after Two Affairs to Remember and is about the destruction that comes to both women once they’re outed. They then start getting to know each other, a little First Wives Club homage, but eventually fall in love.”
“You want to take two women who were wronged by a man, and turn them gay?” You ask, staring at him firmly.
“I do.”
“That’s horrible.”
“Why?”
“You really think readers want to read a story about women that were so scorned by a man that they only have one choice, turn to lesbianism?”
“That’s not what it’s about though. It’s about discovering these parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed, seeing who you are on your own, and how surprising that journey can be,” He explains.
“No one wants to read that from a cis-hetero man unless that man is discovering he’s gay or poly or queer in general,” You tell him. “No one.”
“I –
“What is making you want to write this? What is creating this desire in you? Are you going through some shit?” You ask.
“No, I’m just, the moment is over, but I want it to continue.”
“You want to keep capitalizing on it. Aren’t you working on the script for the series?”
“Yes.”
“So?”
“I think there’s more story here!” Taehyung declares, a flourish of his hand and raised voice accompanying the statement. “I want to tell more about the lives these people lead, the relationships they hold what happens not that their lives are shattered.”
“Tae, I can’t stop you from writing it. But please do not include me in the process.” You request.
“You’re the only person I trust to edit it.”
“That can’t possibly be true.”
“It is! You edited the first one so beautifully, I need you on this project.” He pleads.
“Tae,”
“At least consider it?”
You think about it. What’s the harm? So much harm, and of course Yoongi to consider. But this could be good, after all Taehyung is a beautiful writer. “I’ll consider it when you have pages for me to actually read and consider.”
“Okay, that’s fair. Proof,” He agrees.
“Yeah, I want proof that this isn’t just some last stitch grab at fame, but something real and tangible from you.”
“Give me a month, I’ll have pages for you,” Taehyung says.
“Great.”
“So, what had you smiling so much?” He asks, leaning back in his chair.
“What do you mean?” You ask him.
“Coming off the elevator, you were smiling like you had a secret. What is it?”
“That is none of your business.”
“You seeing someone?”
“Again, none of your business.”
“Okay, okay,” He says holding his hands up. “But if you want to talk about it, I’m always around.”
“We’re not friends, Taehyung.”
“But we could be, Y/N.” He smiles, and damn if it isn’t the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen.
“Your next appointment is here,” Alexis says, stepping into your office.
“Oh –
“Hey, so I was thinking,” Yoongi says barging in. He freezes when he sees Taehyung, and glances between you quickly. “Fuck I didn’t know someone else was in here.”
“Yeah, an impromptu meeting,” Taehyung says as he too glances from Yoongi to you and back.
“Taehyung Kim, this is Yoongi Min, author of the Lil King Yoongi saga.”
“Oh shit, I know your books!” Taehyung stands and extends his hand.
“And I know you,” Yoongi comments, loud enough that Taehyung hears it.
This causes two things to happen. First, Taehyung stares down at Yoongi, tightening his grip, drawing conclusions to the way in which Yoongi made his comment, and the way his eyes are staring past Taehyung to you. Second, it causes you to give a pleading look first to Alexis, then to Yoongi, who releases his grip on Taehyung’s hand.
“Well, I don’t mean to interrupt,” Taehyung says. He feels the tension in the air, and wonders if he’s right about you and Yoongi. “I’ll email you pages.”
“Fine,” You resign.
“Nice to meet you,” Yoongi says as he sits in the chair opposite the one that Taehyung previously occupied.
“You too.”
Taehyung follows Alexis out, but not before he casts another gaze at the two of you. “Are they together?”
“Oh, I have no idea,” She says. Though his question sparks in her curiosity, as she too has always noticed a weird tension between the two.
“What was he doing here?” Yoongi asks.
“He has a new project and wants to send me pages,” You say.
“Why?”
“Because it’s related to –
“Your affair?”
You roll your eyes. “I don’t love it when you call it that. Yes, he’s got ideas for a second book.”
“And he came to see you?”
“Are you jealous?” You ask.
“No, I don’t love walking into my girlfriend’s office, after I’ve been subjected to scrutiny from HR about the nature of said relationship to find her talking to her ex like he didn’t break her heart and nearly destroy her career,” Yoongi snaps.
“Why are you so mad? He came in to ask if I’d read pages, that’s it.”
“Why do I feel like he wants more?” Yoongi asks you.
“I don’t know, but you know I don’t.”
“I know,” He mutters.
“How did your meeting with Olivia go?” You ask.
“She fucking hates me,” He comments.
“She hates everyone.”
“Not like she hates me. She asked about when I first had sexual feelings for you, and if those sexual feelings clouded my judgment. She asked why I’m working with Jin, if it’s some favor to you and if I’m getting special treatment because you and I are, and I quote her here, intimate.”
“Yeah, she asked me similar questions, though she didn’t ask about the first time we had sex, which surprised me.”
“She wanted to know how soon after we texted did we start fooling around, again her words. What kind of question is that?” He asks.
“An invasive one.”
“What is the point in asking that, if she already knew we didn’t start seeing each other socially until what, four months after I signed? We didn’t even start texting for longer!”
“I know, I told her that too.”
He adjusts in his chair. “It was gross, having someone document our relationship like that.”
“And yet, we both have committed those things to memory.”
“Yeah, because we’re in the relationship. We’re, are you finally my girlfriend?” He asks.
The question doesn’t all together catch you off guard, but his tone does.
“What, annoyed I don’t have a label?” You laugh.
“Actually, yes.”
“Yoongi, you know why I’ve wanted to wait.”
“You spent the night last night; I don’t really know what you’re waiting for.”
You sigh. “Do you remember waiting for your report card, in the summer right after school finished, just to make sure it said you were moving to the next grade?”
“I mean I never doubted or worried about it, but yes.”
“I just want her written seal of HR approval that we’re above board, and then I’ll be more than thrilled to walk around introducing you as my boyfriend,” You explain.
“When will that be?”
“By the end of the week I hope.”
“And if she somehow, for whatever reason, decides we’re not above board, then what will we do?”
“Yoongi,” You sigh.
“I’m serious. What if she decides that we actually engaged in behavior that is harmful to you as publisher and director, and we can’t be together as long as I’m an author at Serendipity?”
“She won’t.”
“But what –
“Yoongi! Stop spiraling! She isn’t going to decide that we can’t be together. We already have been together for the last few months and nothing has happened. So can we please not doom spiral about it?” You request, tone biting and harsh.
“Sorry,” He says, eyes rolling as his embarrassment flushes his cheeks.
“I didn’t mean to snap… I just can’t keep going on and on about what happens if we can’t be together. We’re together, already, so why talk as if we’re not?”
He glances up at you, a gentle smile of fondness on his lips. “You like me, don’t you?”
“Yeah, Yoongi. I like you a lot. That’s why I’m fighting for us, for you.”
“And so that I don’t crawl back into bed the minute I leave your office?”
“Absolutely that too.”
“I like you a lot, too. For the record.” He smirks, and it reminds you of this morning, sleep still in his eyes, but a devilish look clouding them as he rolled on top of you, weight pressing against your body, a smirk on his lips and his shaggy black hair falling over his face.
“I want to kiss you,” he had said.
“So do it,” you remarked, bratty in the way you stared back at him, defiantly. You wanted him to make a move, to make a declaration, to force his hand before he forced yours. He did, kissing you with so much heat you rolled on top of him, finding a punishing pace as the sleepiness drained out of you as pleasure overtook.
“I know you do, I was there this morning,” You comment.
“Will you be there tonight?” He winks. He doesn’t think he’s much good at it, but he loves the way your eyes melt whenever he does.
“Yeah, my place?”
The thing about Yoongi’s anxiety and depressive episodes is that they hit, almost without warning. In hindsight he can see all along that it was coming, but in the moments before everything seems totally fine. He left your office, and with every step towards his car he felt the weight getting heavier and heavier. The panic over Taehyung showing up in your life, right as HR was going to give your relationship the company seal of approval, his impending writing retreat for book two and three, the realization he can’t go back and edit book one anymore… all began to bubble and turn inside him.
By the time he gets home, the panic is so great he does what he does best, crawls in bed, under his weighted blanket. He rests his eyes, and before he knows it, it’s 8PM and you’ve called and texted. He wants to return them, to text you back, to keep you updated… but he can’t.
