Okay, so. Star Wars has all these concepts that weirdo New Left boomer George Lucas tosses in there but because of storyteller limitations it would kill the plot to fully explain them all, so later writers have to come in for the spin-off materials and bat clean-up to fully explain all this crazy crap. And I would like to talk about something that made me actively angry at first, but which I now adore. And that is the Naboo.
So much about Naboo culture is infuriating from a logical standpoint. They have a queen, okay. A constitutionally elected queen? Weird, okay. Don't know why they'd do that but... She's FOURTEEN? Excuse me? Is it a ceremonial thing or, oh no it's not? Legit head of state? Why does she dress like that? Why does she talk like that? I'm so tired.
Here's the explainer. Let me go cook.
There's this joke in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where the last living human goes back in time and finds out humans aren't actually from Earth, but an alien culture that tricked all the middle managers, pedantic weirdos, and other infuriating folk into getting in a space arc which they gave the wrong evacuation coordinates to simply get rid of them. The Naboo are like this but they're all artists and poets and hippies, but like classy ones. They fled their home planet during a war and crash landed on Naboo, then did a colonism to the Gungans because, hey, they were fleeing a war and it was do or die. This spiritual rot in their creation story is later rectified by Padmé. But it's super important to their cultural psychology. They're hippies, but will subjugate if needed. They are "peaceful" but I guarantee you every single one of them has a tiny extremely shiny pistol up their sleeve and they will draw down on you if backed against a wall.
The scene that I think says it all is at the end of Phantom Menace when Padmé is surrounded by Nute Gunray and his droids, they've got her dead to rights, but Sabé her double creates a distraction so the queen can make it to her throne. This one piece of furniture is the Naboo in a nutshell. It's richly carved with artistic details, it has two seats to the side so the queen's handmaidens can read the lips of people in the back of the room and use hand signals to communicate with the queen while she can remain focused mostly on who is speaking to her. It is hundreds of years old. And it has a secret compartment in the armrest that is FULL OF GUNS. Layers of artistic opulence hiding their true intentions.
The Naboo were created to be backwards compatible with Princess Leia. They're compassionate pacifists, but they will shot you if needed.
Why do they elect teenage royalty? It's a little creepy. It's giving "age of consent is emotional maturity". It makes no sense.
The explanation they give outsiders is they want youthful idealism untainted by cynicism. What they don't tell you is that they take kids with stated interest in politics and put them in an advanced highly competitive Leadership Academy which is like Model UN mixed with Battle Royale. Well, they don't kill each other but it's intense. It's like what the clones went though just all diplomacy training and tea ceremonies all the time. Which is crazy but so Naboo.
Oh, and all the delegates for the royalty election run using pseudonyms for security. Imagine voting for the head of state but you can't run a background check. It's so crazy.
Why does Padmé dress like that? Well, fashion is one of Naboo's major industries so it's like she's wearing the entire Fall line catalog at once. To advertise not only the talent of her people, but to show how much they favor her. BUT that dress has multiple layers of padding and resin armor. And aforementioned spots for those little silver blasters. And it breaks up her silhouette making her harder to shoot. And it's so elaborate you pay more attention to the crazy dress and not if the person wearing it is really the queen or a decoy. Everything about Naboo is like this.
Queen Amidala has that weird accent while Padmé does not. Because all her handmaidens helped create the accent together so they all can imitate it. It's like if you gave girls at a rowdy sleepover the job of federal counterintelligence. That's what they came up with.
The handmaidens wear colorful identical clothes so you can't tell them apart, hoods to partially conceal their identity, and they don't wear the queen's fancy makeup. So one of them can be the queen and spy on people in the audience. Because the Naboo don't trust shit for shit.
Their public face is so silly to hide all the truly weird shit they do behind the scenes.
They use their reputation as artist hippies to conceal multiple layers of subterfuge and disguise their methods of self defense and assuage their paranoia due to wartime trauma and their disturbing colonial past. All of them are completely off their rocker even by Star Wars standards. And I love them so much. They put on a show so everyone thinks they have them figured out but what they have going on is far more weirder and more sinister than meets the eye. You know how catty, neurotic, and competitive art school students stereotypically are? Yeah, planet art student. Love them!
au with the fanon that naboo is secretly lousy with assassins.
one of padmé’s handmaidens is actually a fairly distsnt relative of sheev palpatine’s only they’re close relatives now because sheev killed off everyone else.
he thinks he also killed savvé or whatever her name is, but her parents secretly put her into the haindmaiden program before their freak yacht accident, and she disappeared.
anyway, padmé and sabé are helping their bestie to try and kill off palps in revenge for her parents’ murder and because he’s a creep and they’ve cottoned onto some of his political disingenuousness—which is unforgivable. mostly because a proper naboo doesn’t get caught.
so while jango fett is trying to kill padmé, he keeps missing because the handmaidens and padmé are busy trying to assassinate a chancellor.
I have been spending way too much time on Wookieepedia, and found this bit on Naboo. 'However, provisions in the constitution allowed for the monarchy to become again hereditary once a dynasty worthy enough was revealed, a clause the Naboo attempted to invoke a hundred years later for Amidala, who declined the offer'.
Full-on hereditary Queen Padme and consort Anakin and princess Leia and princess Luke anyone?
THE MANY FACES OF INTERGALACTIC HAUTE COUTURE -- PREQUEL TRILOGY EDITION.
PIC INFO: Resolution at 1118x1431 -- Spotlight on the various concept designs of Padmé Amidala for the "STAR WARS" Prequel Trilogy, artwork by Iain McCaig, c. mid '90s to early 2000s. Lucasfilm Ltd.
Clockwise from top left:
Padmé in "STAR WARS: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith" -- Digital
"STAR WARS: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones" -- Pencil and marker
"STAR WARS: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace" -- Pencil and marker
"STAR WARS: Revenge of the Sith" -- Pencil and digital
A “Brief” Overview of Nabooan Colonization and the Development of Nabooan Culture
A year after the Old Sith Wars ended, the Grizmalltian Queen Elsinore den Tasia ascended to the Grizmalltian throne. Due to the pressures of the centuries long war that the Republic had just endured, the Queen felt lead to do whatever was necessary to improve her planets financial situation as they were deeply in debt. As such, she commissioned Kwilaan to scout out new worlds for her people to colonize and accumulate necessary resources. This was not an exceptional idea in the time period that it occurred. During the Republic’s Restoration Period, between the Old and New Sith wars, as a means of improving infrastructure, the Republic offered corporations safe passage through hyperspace lanes in exchange for commercial investments. Queen Elsinore was merely one of many who followed what had proven to be a successful endeavor. Thus, it was that Naboo, named for the God of wisdom Nabu,was first discovered between 3,916:3–3,915:2 B.R.S.
Regrettably, the Queen’s plan was not successful. While Naboo became a popular place for big-game hunters, and the newly discovered hyperspace lanes generated new revenue, it proved to be ineffective. The money was poorly distributed through the aristocracy, and heavy taxes burdened the lower classes. This created significant resentment against the noble and royal classes who were able to avoid paying the taxes as they headed the feudal system. Moreover, they were the ones who reaped the benefits of the exploration programs that simply would be of no use to peasants (who certainly weren’t about to spend loads of credits they didn’t have to go hunting on a foreign planet). Resentment further increased as those who returned from the New Sith Wars found that their place on the farms had been taken over, that they no longer had work, or were unable to take care of themselves and their families due to debilitating injuries. When famine inevitably came, the anger that was directed at the monarchy and the nobility came to a head resulting in a violent revolution that mirrors the French Revolution that occurred in our galaxy.
Naboo was, hence, colonized by the Grizmalltians who, out of loyalty, fear, or personal moral beliefs, refused to participate in the revolution, as well as the nobles who could afford to provide the ships to escape (and had no other option). It was lead by the Queen’s granddaughter, also called Elsinore, who, with the help of Kwilaan, organized the people allowing several thousand Grizmalltians to flee to Naboo. Her courage is still considered inspiring on Naboo and is simultaneously the reason for the popularity of Queens and (one of the reasons) the Nabooan tendency to elect young Queens who, unlike Elsinore den Taria I, who was in her seventies when the revolution occurred, were not yet corrupted, senile, uncreative, or set in their ways. Youth is vibrant.
The journey took many, many months, and was exceedingly difficult, and dangerous. The Grizmalltians had been forced to flee quickly and supplies were inadequate and difficult to obtain with little to trade. Moreover, with the hyperspace routes still so newly being charted (aside from the Corellian Run which they initially followed), emerging from hyperspace safely was far from guaranteed. Pirates also frequently looted these areas. Along their expedition, the colonists encountered explorers and traders from the planet Thule. Like the Grizmalltians, the Thulians had suffered due to the Sith wars. The Thulians had left their planet which had, only fifty standard years previously, been under Sith reign and was still recovering from the devastation. In return for helping the Grizmalltians survive, the Thulians, who did not desire to return to war-torn Thule, requested that they accompany the Grizmalltians to Naboo. It was agreed. The present Nabooan culture and language is a fusion of these two cultures who sought a better life in a galaxy recovering from war. The epic of the colonists journey is one of the oldest and most valued pieces of literature on Naboo.
When the colonists finally arrived on Naboo, they landed on Dee’Ja Peak and began to settle the land. The current royal houses of Naboo are the descendants of the Grizmalltian nobility that fled as well as the prominent Thulian leaders. The Nabooan people take great pride in their lineage and try to trace back their family trees as far as possible, but few, by the time of the Rise of the Empire era, can succeed. The Naberrie family, Padme’s family, is the house currently ruling over the Dee’Ja Peak area. While one of the oldest royal houses they are now, somewhat, removed from the very centre of politics due to their mountainous lifestyle. This is one reason Padme was looked down upon by other houses in her early career. She was the second daughter of a low-ranking Naberrie born in an obscure mountain village dedicated to farming. She may be royal, but she wasn’t, initially, “significant.” Her maternal family, Thule, which is also a royal house, is a descendant of one of the Thulian leaders. Their culture used patronymics as names, but decided to choose last names as they began to settle Naboo. Padme’s ancestor chose to use the name of his first homeworld as his surname. Family is quite important on Naboo and there is a certain sense of classism. This isn’t necessarily condescending; it stems from the belief that certain families, and individuals, carry certain talents or abilities better down a bloodline, and cooperation and respect for all classes is important for society to function. As always though, there will be those people who look down on others for being “common,” and intermarriage certainly wasn’t encouraged. (You can bet that people would have been scandalized if they had known that Padme had married Anakin, especially if he were obliged to leave the Order: Royalty, prominent royalty at that, marrying some low-class commoner of unknown heritage and paternity?! Gasp!)
The Nabooan culture, surprisingly, didn’t take long to establish, although the creole language came later. Due to the wars that had devastated their planet, as well as some brutal clashes with the Gungans, the Naboo came to desire pacifism and rationality. Nevertheless, the nobility, did not forget that they had almost been slaughtered on Grizmallt and, thus, encouraged the study of self-defense amongst their ranks. Meanwhile, the Thulians, who had grown up in a militaristic environment, and who also had cause to fight pirates, sympathized with this. Thus, a curious paradox erupted, the male nobility learned to fight, (often with vibroblades), and it was said that this was done so that they could protect the lower classes and maintain the law (this was before a proper law enforcement after all). Additionally, they could contain violence between houses, if necessary, by challenging individual champions to duels. However, no standing army was ever maintained and the ability to fight was not taught to the average individual. The royal houses were not about to risk open revolt like had happened on Grizmallt. There did, nevertheless, develop several family lines who became responsible for security of the royal family, much as there were families in our galaxy who prided themselves in serving the monarchy. Captain Typho and Panaka came from one of these families, both were very traditional. Hence, Panaka’s horror at discovering Padme’s secret marriage, and Typho’s decision not to tell Padme how he felt about her, as he knew his place. He had been born to serve her, not to be her partner in love. He knew his place and his family’s position.
On the more clandestine end, the noble women would come to form the “Order of the Sacred Circle,” which was exclusive to their gender, where they learned both unarmed and armed combat. The armed combat involved a dagger that was passed down mother to daughter for generations, and was even worn surreptitiously in their wedding dresses to symbolize their ability to protect their family. As indicated above, the common people were kept ignorant of this to preserve the element of surprise should they ever face a violent revolution again. As such the Order remained a “legend” to the rest of the Nabooan people. True to the pacifist mindset though, the connections made between women during their training were said to be able to prevent a war, as when the men decided to fight, their wives, sisters, mothers, etc. would have friends on the “enemy” side and would work to prevent it. Hence, it was also a place where you trained in espionage-diplomacy...if that even makes sense, but when you consider that Padme and all of her handmaidens were trained in the Sacred Circle, it should. ;) Also, the reason Padme had blasters hidden in her throne stems from the need to protect the royal family from attacks like what happened during the revolution that pushed the colonization of Naboo.
Other changes that were implemented as a result of the revolution was the nature of feudalism. The Thulians did not have a “serf” class and the Grizmalltians adopted this remembering the peasants rage that had propelled them to revolt back home. Additionally, it was established that the ruling families were not above the law. The Thulians who had suffered a totalitarian dictatorship were entirely behind this decision, and they came together to establish certain laws that would apply to all people noble or common. It is also from the harsh lessons learned on Grizmallt that the Naboo came to prioritize duty as a highly prized virtue and the sense of noblesse oblige was significantly heightened. We can definitely see echoes of this upbringing in Padme’s behaviour. To further appease the lower classes, although the initial motivation behind it became lost to some degree over the centuries, it came to be that the royals would encourage volunteerism at a young age to show that they would not be abusing their roles. Thus, a delicate balance came to be established on the new planet.
A regrettable side effect of this would be that on Naboo, particularly amongst the higher classes, an importance came to be placed upon image and public perception. You had to be seen to be “doing good.” Weddings were massive events to prove wealth. Volunteer work was done to prove that you were “selfless.” Anything that was necessary to be kept secret was considered to be shameful. (As a side note, the means of communicating through clothing, and flower language, also developed from this need to be seen. All secrets were kept in the open.) Conversely, though, due to the difficulty of living in such a manner, privacy was valued on Naboo. Essentially, a “don’t tell and don’t ask” policy. This would serve Padme well in hiding her marriage and preventing an investigation into her death and her pregnancy. It also explains her reticence on keeping a marriage a secret. Aside from all of the other concerns, a small and secret wedding was culturally a huge no-no. In fact, her whole relationship with Anakin was pretty counter-cultural for Padme, and really indicative of just how much she loved him.
Weddings were often arranged between the higher classes and were seen as a means to foster economic and social ties between various clans. Fostering children between different families was also quite common, whether it was an allied house or another part of the clan. This was said to foster ties between various Houses to prevent wars and encourage good faith; it was also seen as a means to ensure children were not spoiled. Ties between foster parents were just as important as other ties. Padme, when she became interested in politics, was sent to live with her grandmother in Theed, as a result of this mindset. In many ways, she felt closer to her grandmother than her parents, and was devastated when Winama Naberrie died. Unsurprisingly, with family ties being so significant, after fulfilling their mandatory service noble women were expected to marry in their early twenties or so. Second daughters might be able to get away with waiting longer but there would be pressure. You can observe this in how Jobal treats Padme. (Realistically, while it was not talked about, extra-marital affairs were not necessarily uncommon either. They were even tolerated if “discreet.” Most people who suspected that Anakin and Padme were involved likely figured it was just a fling on Padme’s part, before she was, finally, obliged to settle down.) Children were expected as well, but great respect was placed upon motherhood as a role that nurtured the next generation.
Each clan had a different royal in charge meant to protect the people and enforce the law within their region of land. Those who lived within those regions were a part of the “clan” but were not royal. This concept of nomadic and pastoral living was a Thulian concept that the Grizmalltians found necessary to adopt as a rigid lifestyle is not so easily established when you are just settling in and could get attacked at any time. Internal politics dictates that the clan head would have sons, brothers, or cousins etc. who looked over individual regions that the clan was responsible for creating a hierarchy, and small gatherings amongst just one royal house happened with reasonable frequency to maintain order. As the population grew, these small area would even grow to become city-states and the clans would continue to expand territory, and to be the head of a clan became quite prestigious. These heads would meet with other heads at specific intervals to have assemblies to discuss laws or issues etc. in a democratic matter. In time an elective monarchy would develop and amongst themselves, or candidates they produced from amongst their extended family, a monarch would be chosen. Unsurprisingly, the first elected was a young girl.
Note: The idea of flower language for Naboo I got from @fialleril and her delightful blog. The above details I have extrapolated from Legends and Canon material. I will explain how and why I believe that the Nabooans were descendent from two cultures in future posts.
It wasn’t any think piece urging me to reevaluate them with new appreciation. You just reach a certain point where pointing out the flaws isn’t as much fun. And you realize they will always be a part of the franchise you love so much so you might as well understand them.
And it’s a very slippery text that you really have to grapple with. And the further down you go the more you abandon yourself to the weirdness.
Like why do the Naboo elect teenagers as constitutional royalty? That’s shifty, she’s not really in change this is a Little St James situation, right? No? She is in charge? They have a special school for young leaders?
At least tell me why she dresses in like eight dresses at once. It’s a planet of artists? So she’s showing off their wares as a method to both intimidate and show off to their neighbors? Oh, some of the layers are armor? Oh she’s got like five blasters hidden in those sleeves?
The more you really understand how insanely wacky the Naboo are suddenly Phantom Menace jumps up a few rungs. It’s fun to watch now and spot where the handmaidens are standing. When Yané and Saché leave the picture and when they reappear. They’re so much like Leia. They’re pacifists but…
I’m so happy that the dumb post I made about the Naboo took off because I got a bunch of people to rewatch The Phantom Menace and see it in a different light. That’s so gratifying. I can’t watch it these days without pausing it a lot to pick out which handmaidens are in the scene and what they are up to. 🥰
