Gladheonsleeps

found on AO3 & ffnet if you look like a bot I will block you

[good-to-drive]

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

[agendratum]

[valtsv]

"here's my original character, Man Who Sucks But Loves His Daughter Very Much" and it's a guy who worships at the altar of patriarchal violence and the woman he uses as an excuse and an effigy to absolve him

[valtsv]

well i think his daughter should tell him to kill himself

[penultimate-step]

It's always disappointing when a series makes a big deal about societal and structural problems in it's setting, making readers think it has interesting things to say about the subject, only to then resolve the problems by fighting The CEO of Racism, John Racist, so that all of society's problems would then get better because they promoted a new CEO.

[clonerightsagenda]

Literary criticism terms I use on this blog despite making them up myself, much to the chagrin of anyone who does not have my back catalog memorized:

are we the baddies: SFF subgenre focused on agents of an imperial power realizing that and grappling with what to do next, in contrast to stories focusing on the scrappy rebels resisting said imperial power

I could fix him (the empire): SFF subgenre where the colonized subject being nice and/or sexy enough Ends Colonialism, frequently tied to the John President of Racism problem

librarian bait: books centered on the transformative life-changing power of books and libraries, cousin to books focused on the transformative life-changing power of storytelling and narrative in general

college brochure fiction: stories where the protagonist has an artfully arranged group of diverse friends who are as flat as paper and whose cultural backgrounds never come up meaningfully

the Dave Strider: character the fandom fixates on to the detriment of everything else, until the weight of that attention warps fanon and sometimes even canon around them. almost always male. it's happening to Gurathin from Murderbot right now

[clonerightsagenda]

#OP tell us more about the John President of Racism problem!

It hails from an immortal tumblr post by penultimate-step, except not immortal apparently because I get 'not found' when I try to go back to the original. (Edit: Link found) So here's the text:

It's always disappointing when a series makes a big deal about societal and structural problems in it's setting, making readers think it has interesting things to say about the subject, only to then resolve the problems by fighting The CEO of Racism, John Racist, so that all of society's problems would then get better because they promoted a new CEO.

[wigfucker]

My awakening was The Favorite (2018). Every scene with Harley is so so goood, I want to shove him into the dirt and hear him squeal in indignation when his makeup and wig and clothes get messed up. Also check out this? promo poster?? I found

But my REAL awakening was the scene where Harley tries to help Masham woo one of the aloof, politic, practical ladies of the court, and he gets all dressed up like a peacock, but because this lady is so practical it doesn't work, and Masham is sooo embarrassed that his new wig and lipstick failed him (he tried to kiss her and she pulled off his wig, smeared his makeup, and bit him😳)

But then they propose a political marriage, and suddenly she's interested. And on their wedding night she tears off his wig, shoves him on the bed, and gives him the most disinterested handjob of all time. And he looks so pathetic and grateful that a woman like her would be touching him at all🥰

HJSHSHSHJSHSHSGW BARK!! BARK! BARK!! WOOF!! WOOF!! BARK!!! GHSJHSGSJQVSBSKAJ

ROBERT HARLEY MENTIONED!!!!!!

OOOOOMMFFGGG ANOTHER HARLEY ENJOYEERRR YIPIIEEEEE🤩😵‍💫😩😫🤑😳🥴🤤🤧🤭🥺🥺🥺🥹

THIS IS SOOO CRAZZY BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY JUST RANTINGGG ABOUT HIMMM

I WAS LITERALLLLYYY JUST YAPPING ABOUT HIMMM

UGHHHOOOUUGHH HE'S SUCH A WET FUCKING PAPER TOWEL OF A MAN UGHH YESS NEED HIIMMMM (and his wig, that's a given)

HJHSJHSHSS MASHAM WAS SOOO MUCH BETTER THAN ME BRO BECAUSE I WOULDS FUCKED THE EVER LIVING SHIT OUTTA THIS FOPPISH WET CHEESEBALL OMFG AND HIS WIG WOULD NOT HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY🙏🙏🙏 BRO WOULD BE LUCKY IF HE COULD EVEN GET UP IN THE MORNING AND THATS IF HE STILL CONSCIOUS, HJSHSJSHHSS

YEESS YESS YESS YOU HAVE IT SOO RIGHT, BUT I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIMMM UGHH, LIKE YESS, YOU ARE LOVED BBG!!!! (and so is that wig. Also another blunder from her..that wig would been ON tf??)

UGHH NO OTHER FOP HAS EVER HAD THIS LEVEL OF PATHETIC EMBEDDED INTO THEIR SOUL AND IT'S JUST WHAT MAKES HIM SO SPECIAL EHEHHEHEH🫶🫶🫶🎀✨️🍓🌷🍓💕💕💕

Also the poster is tuff🗣🔥👌 UGHH SOO PEAK🙏

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS GEM TO THE WIGFUCKER CONFESSIONALS!!! 🤑🤑🤩🎀✨️

[dimlightofsunrise]

After reading Emma, I was really surprised to notice (well, maybe not that surprised, given Austen's lack of physical description) that Emma's hair color is never actually specified in the novel. So... the blonde hair is just an adaptations thing?

How did this come to happen? I'm really intrigued by this!!!!

[linmeiwei]

Adaptation consistency is so interesting across the others too (not complete consistency since there have been brunette Emmas): Jane Bennet tends to be fair and Elizabeth darker, Darcy is generally not blond… I guess one adaptation sets the visual language compellingly and then the others follow!

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

fic where the corries learn that they’re legally allowed to do courses and get degrees when the commanders are required to get degrees in order to legally file a lot of the paperwork crossing their desk and authenticate arrests and stuff.

They sign up for interrelating minors after the first degree.

a lot of it is stuff they already studied in their training, so Fox and Thorn are working on spPHDs while doing all of their other duties.

this is all completely unremarked upon until someone in the clone fan messageboards finds one of Fox’s essays and has enough knowledge on the subject is like ‘guys this is really good, and ow, the chancellor’s ears must have burned when he submitted this, because damn’

clone fans being what they are, the other work by the other corries is gone over with a fine tooth comb, but it’s not really noticed other than that.

until fox ends up doing an art history course or something, and Jocasta Nu is actually the professor in charge.

he has to come in for some of the lectures so the students can properly experience the works in question, and they’re in the archive. He also shares classes with jedi younglings on top of the coruscanti locals and core world galactic students.

he also, for the first time, has a group project that isn’t allowed to just be done over the comms. presumably because the jedi younglings have these kinds of classes on their schedules so they can be socialised with non-jedi in a safe environment.

Fox isn’t aware but like three new people have declared fox one of their friends

Fox’s final assignment for that course is actually the one that really blows up despite him submitting several thesis by that time eviscerating the new mandalorian government, mereel’s supercommando codex (because fuck you jango, your dad is smart but not an untouchable god), and the republican senate. but the art history course is where he discusses several priceless-because-they’re-fucking-illegal-to-own-sheev pieces in the chancellor’s office and apartments.

he submits the paper just before he makes the arrest, which he has the authority to do both because he has the necessary qualifications, and because sheev made him a high general in the GAR so he could do more of his paperwork.

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

the jedi shadow who was taking the course as a part of the shadows’ mandatory enrichment rules was only part of the reason that fox realised what he’d been staring at so many hours a week, but they certainly the reason that fox ever thought about putting him and his corries through the jedi healers to check for sith interference—where a lot more crimes were found out about, enough that the shadows were pulled away from the front to investigate them with proper procedure.

the jedi shadow asks him for caff when things calm down a little.

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

fic where the corries learn that they’re legally allowed to do courses and get degrees when the commanders are required to get degrees in order to legally file a lot of the paperwork crossing their desk and authenticate arrests and stuff.

They sign up for interrelating minors after the first degree.

a lot of it is stuff they already studied in their training, so Fox and Thorn are working on spPHDs while doing all of their other duties.

this is all completely unremarked upon until someone in the clone fan messageboards finds one of Fox’s essays and has enough knowledge on the subject is like ‘guys this is really good, and ow, the chancellor’s ears must have burned when he submitted this, because damn’

clone fans being what they are, the other work by the other corries is gone over with a fine tooth comb, but it’s not really noticed other than that.

until fox ends up doing an art history course or something, and Jocasta Nu is actually the professor in charge.

he has to come in for some of the lectures so the students can properly experience the works in question, and they’re in the archive. He also shares classes with jedi younglings on top of the coruscanti locals and core world galactic students.

he also, for the first time, has a group project that isn’t allowed to just be done over the comms. presumably because the jedi younglings have these kinds of classes on their schedules so they can be socialised with non-jedi in a safe environment.

Fox isn’t aware but like three new people have declared fox one of their friends

Fox’s final assignment for that course is actually the one that really blows up despite him submitting several thesis by that time eviscerating the new mandalorian government, mereel’s supercommando codex (because fuck you jango, your dad is smart but not an untouchable god), and the republican senate. but the art history course is where he discusses several priceless-because-they’re-fucking-illegal-to-own-sheev pieces in the chancellor’s office and apartments.

he submits the paper just before he makes the arrest, which he has the authority to do both because he has the necessary qualifications, and because sheev made him a high general in the GAR so he could do more of his paperwork.

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

t4t khaleen quinlan crack fic where quinlan is really sad about his home being stolen and his family being killed, and she can’t bring his family back, but she’s a thief. She’s going to steal his home back. Especially as it’s a ship? she is going to steal that damn ship.

She pulls together a crew, who all give her shit for going from the art scene to stealing ships, but come on. Quinlan is carrying her baby and he’s sad. Have you seen those big pretty eyes when he’s sad? She’s only human.

haven’t any of them stepped out of their wheelhouses to steal something special for their special one?

In the end, they end up stealing a bunch of clones and any jedi who are still in there, including a bunch of siblings for Korto.

khaleen was never planning to be a mom but it’s too late. now she has a biological child and several adopted ones

maybe it’s combined with a sentient temple au where the temple sees an opportunity and takes it. ‘Normally anyone trying to steal the temple is going to get a bad case of dead or lost wandering abandoned levels for eternity while they think about their life, but this lady is onto something in this case.’

besides, the fishnets are cute

khaleen sentient temple besties au

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

it’s tempting to include hondo in the thief squad, but I think it’s funnier to have him find out about the heist later and be like whyyyy didn’t you ask meeeeeee??????

also khaleen is like…in heaven because the temple has so much art in it. there are magnificent works that are thousands of years old just hanging around in the quartermasters thst you can requisition for your apartment.

and a few of the artists survived by hanging out in the studios anakin had no idea existed, and khaleen starts making art, and maybe teaching some classes. if those baby jedi and babies clones adopted (and clones themselves!) learn a lot more than anyone might want about art theft… well that’s a transferrable skill! times are hard in the empire, and there is an art fencer that is part of the rebellion, so it’s important to have in your pocket!

[fleshmesh]

Break the stereotype* of tumblr sexyman always being a skinny guy in a suit. It’s time for hairy muscled short fat muscular men with big beards to shine. Vote senshi. tumblr sexyman is whoever tumblr says is the sexyman. bring in the new era

He’ll make you bread

*(people keep poiinting out that sans won who is not a skinny suit wearer. i am not saying he did not win. i'm saying it's the common stereotype of what a tumblr sexyman is. sans winning only further proves my point that senshi can win)

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

Have you not seen Grunkle Stan?

[fleshmesh]

If stan can be a tumblr sexyman so can senshi 😎

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

EXACTLY!

[camberwell-when]

naming my child 'arsonio' and subtly instilling in them the seeds of a destructive yearning

[valtsv]

i just know there was a weird little girl in the middle ages out there stealing snake's eggs and putting them in her family's chicken coop in the hope of hatching a basilisk

[valtsv]

god i love the internet because if i said shit like this to people irl they'd probably just stare at me blankly but when i post it online everyone in the notes reacts like this

[mocking-the-bird]

drawing rn feels like stretching and catching a nastiest leg cramp ever

[primaryassets]

Warehouse 13 Gadgetry - The Essentials

[figtoof]

a ploodle (plo doodle)

[alp-temyr]

Fallen.

[panther-os]

Saw Mace Windu referred to as "the Haruun Kal Master" one too many times over the weekend, so here's a cheat sheet. It's been a while since I last read Shatterpoint and I don't own the book, but this is all as accurate as I can get when fact-checking via Wookieepedia - with the very important exception of the racist bs explained in #13:

Haruun Kal is the planet

The Korunnai (singular Korun) are the nomadic indigenous species who are either near-human and human-passing or a human variant, ymmv

Korunnal is their language

All Korunnai are Force-sensitive, the Korunnal word for the Force is Pelekotan

Balawai (singular unknown, possibly Bala or Balaw) is the Korunnal word for the mostly but not only human settled colonizers

Ghôsh is the Korunnal word for clan

Korunnai have a clan-and-family system similar to the Mandalorian house-and-clan system

Orphaned Korunnai are given the Ghôsh name as a family name, such as Mace Windu of Ghôsh Windu, and typically raised communally

Most Korunnai stay on Haruun Kal and learn their indigenous Force tradition, Mace Windu is a rare exception who was given to the Jedi Order as an infant for largely unknown reasons

Thyssel bark is a cooking spice that is the Balawai's primary export and the whole reason they invaded in the first place

Akk dogs are a Force-sensitive indigenous non-sentient animal to Haruun Kal whose care and companionship are central to Korunnai culture, approximately equivalent to horses in traditional Mongol Steppe culture with the addition of one-on-one Force bonds with a specific Korun

Balawai often steal akk dogs and sell them off-world due to their high value as rare and exotic but tameable animals, this is illegal by Korunnai law - and by Republic law because Korunnai culture is somewhat protected

Canon and legends do state that the Korunnai are genetically identical to humans and are possibly the descendants of stranded human Jedi, however I choose to treat this as a Balawai fiction similar to the white European narrative that Native and First Nations peoples aren't indigenous to North America because we all immigrated from China, we just happened to do it a few hundred thousand years earlier than they did 🙄