'Vaseline And The Missiles' is a good band name

this is a Very Serious Aesthetic Blog. Only things that speak to my soul allowed here.

[tweetsongs]

if i think about madney too hard i will burst into tears. like...they bring each other joy!!!! chimney saw maddie smile her radiant smile and immediately dedicated his entire life to coaxing out as much happiness as he could from her. maddie loves this goofy unserious guy who sings with her and does not-date nights and is visibly smitten by her but never presumes anything, who her little brother can tease her about instead of having a feeling about. with her chim has never needed to be anything other than wholeheartedly himself and with him maddie feels safe, feels free. and they go through so much but they always find their way back to each other, back to joy!!

[bamfspock]

Bosses and Coworkers: you've got a great work ethic, going above and beyond

Me: I am literally just doing my job. Everyone else is slacking off.

Everyone Else: (magically knows somehow the secret amounts of work the boss is actually asking of them, which the boss cannot tell anyone for Reasons)

[bamfspock]

There always seems to be a gap in instructions (from bosses, parents, teachers, friends, whoever) between 'required' and 'expected', and this gap is:

invisible

never explained

always a different size

you have to guess the size

if you guess wrong you either get Praised or In Trouble

[bamfspock]

At least on 'the price is right' you know (because someone *actually told you*) that you are playing a guessing game and that there is an over/under mechanic and that the conquence of guessing wrong isn't a punishment or damaged relationship or getting fired

[bamfspock]

On an unrelated note my psychiatrist has given me a referal for a formal ASD evaluation

[bamfspock]

This post is about the neurodivergent frustration of having to deal with neurotypical authority figures who don't say what they mean but I love the pro-union labor-rights energy I'm seeing in the notes

[iszyjfry]

Love having consent to send mutuals nsfw content. Reblog if your mutuals have consent to send you nsfw content.

[4th3r]

When Ed said "your jealous of humans beacause we can change who we are" and when when greed said "you don't need me anymore kid" and Ling replied "but I do" and when Ed said "your hands where made for giving life, not taking it" and when Wrath said "my wife is the only thing I ever got to choose" and when Pride said "I liked playing house with her [mrs. Bradley], it was pleasant." And when Ed said "If I didn't consider you human, how could I consider my brother human?" and when Greed said "you where right, this IS what I wanted." And when Ed said "who needs alchemy when I have them?" and when

[darkaviarymc]

And when Mustang said "I'll protect the ones I love, and in turn they'll protect the ones they love" and when Hughes said "this letter is all I need, I can make it to tomorrow" and when May said "she comes first (about Hawkeye)" and when Ling said "a king is nothing without his people" and when Winry said "I think this is what [my parents] would have wanted" and when Scar said "I'm not saving this country, I'm changing it" and when Hawkeye said "there's someone I need to protect" and when Hohenheim said "that's where we humans find happiness" and when Alphonse said "let's fight them together" and when

[mysticalhearth]

FMA gold quotes

[lordbaba]

I know I’m two years late to the party but maybe I can bring some of you guys back from the dead.

[byjove]

My grandma’s on and off again boyfriend that she cheated on grandpa with died today.

[byjove]

RIP to Nana’s side piece. Though they never married, Grandpa died in September and she brought his long term competition to Thanksgiving that year.

[byjove]

Grandma and Grandpa had a shotgun wedding when Grandma was 19. Grandpa went off to Vietnam which left her, a severely mentally young mother, alone. Never heard a complaint about her side piece Jeff. He seemed to make her happy and for that I salute him.

[byjove]

I’m an only child so I have to discuss sensitive family drama with my 38,000 followers instead.

[femmmie]

My grandmother broke up w my grandfather through a letter and he just pretended to have never read it. They got married and had three kids.

[lucisthings6]

My grandmother confessed on her death bed that:

Her and Grandpa were in a relationship with their best friends

The four of them have been in a relationship since they were teenagers

They flipped a bottle cap to see which girl the boys would marry

Their children could have either man as their biological father but their biological mother is the mum that raised them

The past two weeks has been chaos since her confession 😂

[polyamorousmood]

[scunthotter]

Having Ilya Rosanov show up in each of the books makes him seem like bisexual Nick Fury recruiting the gay avengers of sad hockey men.

[starsendlessly]

my good friend shane hollander would love the oscar wilde quote “love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling” if he read anything other than hockey non-fiction

[hudconvent]

like the needy boyfriend schtick would just do a lot for shane IMO. ilya texting him like “pic now” and shane hemming and hawing like nooo im with my parents at dinner, ill send later and ilya like “cmonnnn just go into the bathroom. do it quick they wont even know. just one. just send one right now. let me see your cock. pleaaaase. one pic” but shanes been in the bathroom stall for 5 mins already dick in hand trying to get the best angle

[ilyarizzanov]

fanfic: why is she still here? | a hollanov oneshot by ilya rizzanov

rating: explicit summary: what if Shane didn't break up with Rose right away, but also couldn't stay away from Ilya? tags: infidelity, d/s dynamics, angst with a happy ending, anal, blow jobs, rough sex, boys be fighting, canon divergent word count: ~15.8k

Ilya pops open one eye to observe Shane, whose own eyes are scarcely open to see it. “Break up with her." “I’m not breaking up with her. I love her.” “You love her like best friend. Not like a girlfriend.” “Fuck you,” he spits out. "You don’t get to tell me how I feel about her."

--

[knownqueerbaiter]

there’s a really beautiful AU that exists in my head where shane is some sort of faceless technically-focused reviewer on youtube (like the lockpicking lawyer) and ilya is a dedicated viewer leaving increasingly horny comments about his hands and like, sending him expensive locks to pick on camera

[knownqueerbaiter]

HollanderUnlocks: Here’s my review of the Litelok X3 bike lock. It’s got its issues, but it’s strong enough for the average bike-rider.

rozzingoff: i have a handcuff lock u could help me out with ;))

HollanderUnlocks: Have you lost the key? If you are currently cuffed but able to reach your phone, I would recommend calling emergency services right away. If you are not currently cuffed: most handcuff locks are relatively simple to pick. I have some other videos on my channel where I discuss lockpicking for beginners, as well as an affiliate link where you can get a 10% discount off your first set of picks, if you don’t have any.

rozzingoff: if i were locked in them could you come save me ;)

HollanderUnlocks: I am not sure where you’re located, but if you’re in need of help, please dial your local emergency services as soon as possible.

[scunthotter]

I think when they are out and married Ilya continues the cryptic Shane picture instagram posts but now he can simply caption them as 'my husband'. Just subtle brags that also afford his Shane the privacy he deserves. Like a heavy set of dumbells, Ilya’s tattoos, or a neatly folded pile of clothes.

He also posts an annoying amount of pictures and videos of Anya, who I cannot stress enough is a very ordinary dog doing ordinary dog things like sniffing at a plant.

[niceshootingrook]

As far as I'm concerned in this moment, Shane Hollander is drafting a list of baby names in his head.

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

I do have an odd soft spot for what I have dubbed the "Bad Gays" in queer romance novels. Ryan's movie star ex Adrian who cheated on him should kiss Sasha Ilya's coach's son. I wanna watch them callously disregard other people's feelings together

[fleabagsversion]

UGHHHHHHHH

[literaturebf]

tears in my eyes our shaney is coming back to us.. shaney is literally back today!!! hudson williams is annotating and improving his way through that script as we speak!! we have to live!!!!!

[serenityquest]