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Ahhhhh I have the biggest squish!!! They are just so cute and so pure and I love them so much and it's totally great cause now they're my partner!!!! Imma tag them as qp2 cause #the qp is already taken by my person. Also now the qp and I are Poly in practice not just in theory and basically it's just really great
The qp and I were supposed to skype but she took a nap and hasn't woken up yet and I'm kinda pissed. Like for fucks sakes, why does this always happen?? I'm so frustrated
The qp and I were supposed to skype today but she stopped responding to my texts :( kinda super disappointed about it
I'm sad
My partner and I were supposed to skype yesterday but she fucked up the times and then she also hasn't responded to any of my texts since like 7pm and all I wanted was for her to call me while I walked home from a party that was really fucking boring and awkward and I just wanted yesterday to end well but it didn't and just. It was really disappointing. My birthdays generally are. But I would have at least liked to talk to my qp.
I should be happy rn. I won a bronze today. I got a personal best. I did something that I have never done before. And it turned out well. I mean I was anxious the whole time, because crowded room full of unfamiliar people with social rules that I don’t really know yet. But I had fun. And did well! But now I’m just sad. Because she wasn’t there. Archery is her sport. She is a coach on her schools team. And yet she wasn’t there. I hoped she would be there. But obviously I should have known better. She never follows through with anything. Part of me hates her so much right now. I spent a good half hour sobbing because “Hey. I’m okay. Will reply soon” is literally the only text I’ve gotten from her in the past week. I should be celebrating right now. I should feel happy. But all I feel is an overwhelming sense of loneliness.
@medipack is my favorite person. just saying
I'm skyping my partner and she is in her kitchen and spending more time talking to her housemates than see is talking to me. So now I'm just feeling lonely and sad and super tired, and like this isn't worth my time. God it's been like 2.5 weeks since I have talked to her and she is barely even talking to me :(((((
I'm going to see the qp in a couple hours and I'm so ridiculously anxious. I never get anxious about seeing her but rn my body hurts and I just want to hide. I'm panicking. I'm panicking about seeing the person I care most about. This shouldn't be happening. Seeing her is supposed to feel safe. She is the person I always feel safe around. But this doesn't feel safe. This feels like I'm walking into a mine field and one wrong move could blow everything up and it'll completely be my fault. All I want to do is have a nice relaxing time with her because I haven't seen her in two months and most likely won't see her again till May but I'm so scared. I'm scared that I will see her face and it'll make everything she is going through so much more real to me.
