I should be happy rn. I won a bronze today. I got a personal best. I did something that I have never done before. And it turned out well. I mean I was anxious the whole time, because crowded room full of unfamiliar people with social rules that I don’t really know yet. But I had fun. And did well! But now I’m just sad. Because she wasn’t there. Archery is her sport. She is a coach on her schools team. And yet she wasn’t there. I hoped she would be there. But obviously I should have known better. She never follows through with anything. Part of me hates her so much right now. I spent a good half hour sobbing because “Hey. I’m okay. Will reply soon” is literally the only text I’ve gotten from her in the past week. I should be celebrating right now. I should feel happy. But all I feel is an overwhelming sense of loneliness.